


Curiosity killed the cat.

by Pale_Goblin



Category: Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Modern: No Powers, Alternate Universe - Roommates/Housemates, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst and Feels, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Anxiety Disorder, Boys In Love, Emotional Porn, Eventual Happy Ending, Feels, First Time, Fluff and Angst, Foster Care, Gay Pride, Gay Sex, Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia Has Feelings, Homophobia, Hurt Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia, Idiots in Love, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Insecure Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia, Lambert Being an Asshole (The Witcher), Lambert Needs a Hug (The Witcher), M/M, Mental Health Issues, Modern Era, Not Beta Read, One Big Happy Family, Oral Sex, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Other Ships Not Mentioned in Tags, POV Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia, Past Child Abuse, Past Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Yennefer z Vengerbergu | Yennefer of Vengerberg, Protective Jaskier | Dandelion, Rimming, Roommates, Sad with a Happy Ending, Sex, Sexual Tension, Slow Burn, Smoking, Smut, Social Anxiety, Switch Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia, Switch Jaskier | Dandelion, Tags Are Hard
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-22
Updated: 2020-08-14
Packaged: 2021-03-02 22:34:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 52
Words: 99,208
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24324355
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pale_Goblin/pseuds/Pale_Goblin
Summary: A very unlikely pair find themselves being college roommates, exact opposites.  Geralt is riddled with anxiety, trying to find peace in his crazy head well Jaskier explores all college has to offer for him as being a newly open gay.Is Geralt being homophobic to his newly out roommate or is this feeling something else?
Relationships: Aiden/Lambert (The Witcher), Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia & Jaskier | Dandelion, Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion
Comments: 417
Kudos: 433





	1. Chapter 1

The dorm was small but not the worst, a kitchenette was on the right side of the room with a small table with two chairs pressed up against the wall. The floor smelled freshly waxed, and of fresh lemon, Geralt looked at the paper in his hand reminding himself what room was his  _ A1. He _ stared up at the doors and saw the one close to the bathroom on the left. 

He let out a breath he seemed to be holding and walked up to the door unlocking it with the key he got from the downstairs desk clerk. The carpet was grass green, a double bed was placed in the center with a desk pressed up against a large window that looked out over the parking lot, Cozy. 

Geralt was emailed his roommate’s name that would be staying in the room beside him for the school year. Julian Alfred Pankratz the name meant nothing to him, he just hoped he was quiet. 

Geralt dropped his duffle bag on the floor, he pulled out his bedding from the trash bag it was kept in. He roughly made his bed not giving two shits if it was nicely done since he was just going to sleep in it anyway. 

The door clicked, opening quickly after. A colourfully dressed man stood in the door with two bags on his shoulders, one looking guitar-shaped, and a suitcase being dragged behind him. His hair was coffee-coloured and his eyes were the colour of robin eggs in early spring. 

“You must be Geralt” He smiled, the door clicking shut behind as he dropped his bags near the door. He walked over to Geralt’s room with his hand outstretched “I’m Julian but please call me Jaskier.” 

Geralt looked down at his hand, grabbing ahold of it and feeling how smooth his skin was under his. “Nice to meet you” 

“Are those contacts?” Jaskier leaned into Geralt’s face, painfully close Geralt could feel his breath on his cheek. 

“No,” Geralt grunted, pulling away from Jaskier to grab his bag on the floor. 

“Hmm, Interesting” Jaskier hummed before sitting down on Geralt’s bed “So what’s your Major?” 

“Undecided” Geralt took a deep breath, to be fair he only went to college to get away from his mother. He wasn’t here for some big break or career; he just wanted peace. 

“Well, maybe you will find your calling” Jaskier chuckled “I’m a theatre arts major. Maybe in 5 years from now, I’ll be a big star and people will be dying to hear your story about how I was in my first year of college.”

“Mhmm” Geralt hung his small amount of clothes up in the doorless closet. 

Silent filled the space between the two of them as Geralt clicked the hangers into place on the rack. 

“Well, I’m going to get settled.” Jaskier stood up walking with a spring in his step outside the room. 

Geralt stared at the shirt in his hand, smelling the musky, cigarette smoke that was stuck to it. That smell always made him think of his mom and the unsettling memories that came with it. 

Music started to pour out of Jaskier’s room, Geralt couldn’t place the song but he was not well versed in music anyway. Jaskier was singing along to the lyrics with a beautiful singing voice that matched the pitch of the song perfectly. No wonder he was a theatre arts major, he was good, really good. 

Geralt walked up to the doorway of his own room, leaning on it to listen in on his voice, it was a welcomed distraction from his own thoughts. Geralt just hoped he wasn’t going to do this all the time…

Jaskier popped out of his room suddenly, looking down at his phone “Hey, There is a welcoming party tonight did you want to go?” Geralt backed up into his room acting like he was never listening to him sing. 

Geralt wasn’t in the mood for being in a room with drunk people. “Parties are not my thing,” Geralt pulled out of the pack of smokes from his bag. 

“Come on, it will be fun” Jaskier begged, “It’s the best way to get to know people, you know when they have no filter” 

Geralt eyed Jaskier who was giving him a cheeky grin, waiting for his answer. He remembered what his therapist had said weeks before he left for school, that she wanted him to make friends, Lasting relationships. Geralt swallowed hard,

“Your loss, there will be hot girls, the shittest wine you can find and enough snacks to eat your feelings with.” Jaskier tapped the door frame disappearing back into his room. 

“I’ll go” Geralt couldn’t believe he was agreeing to go to a place that was going to make him miserable. He probably wasn’t going to have any fun but his therapist said it’s important…

*** * ***

The bar was packed with people, the rumble of music and chatter was overwhelming. Geralt had been chain-smoking outside silently with a group of people. Near the tail end of his smoke, he went to grab another cigarette out of his pack to find none left. 

“Fuck…” Geralt took a deep drag of what was left trying to hang on to the taste and feel of it with shaking hands. 

“Here” a man held out his pack to him, Geralt looked up at his brown hair, glowing amber eyes. His voice was a deep metallic that sounded like a dog's barking. “ I know it’s enabling your addiction but--” 

Geralt grabbed them, quickly lighting another one with shaking hands feeling his nerves calmed down as he sucked in the smoke. 

“Jeez, rough day?” The man chuckled, leaning on the wall with Geralt. 

“My roommate dragged me here.” Geralt spit out, “crowds are not my thing” Geralt handed him back his pack of smokes. 

“I can see that,” The man lit a smoke taking in a deep inhale before exhaling into the air. “Name’s Eskel,” he held out his hand, Geralt switched his cigarette to his other hand and grabbed a hold of his hand with a firm shake “Geralt.” 

“Pleasure to meet you Geralt” Eskel smiled “So who’s your roommate?” 

“Julien, or Jaskier, that’s what he likes to be called” Geralt put his cigarette back to his mouth. 

“Ah, piece of work that fellow” Eskel chuckled as he blew smoke out of his nose “Talks too much for my taste.” 

Geralt nodded, Jaskier had talked his ear off on the way here talking mostly about himself. 

“I feel like he seeks attention because he had to always fight for his parents to notice him” Eskel muttered. 

Geralt looked at Eskel confused by him, he sounded like his therapist. 

“Sorry,” Eskel laughed “Psychology major.” 

Geralt felt himself smile. “Makes sense now.” 

“HEY, there you are!” Geralt turned to see Jaskier with his arm around a blonde woman who was making sure he didn’t fall over. 

“Oh boy, the twins” Eskel grunted, Geralt frowned “Hey?” 

The woman walked Jaskier over to them, he looked and smelled wasted. “This is my sister, Priscilla” Jaskier gave them a loopy smile “She’s single.” 

Priscilla sighed “and your drunk,” she rolled her eyes so hard into her head that the blue nearly disappeared. She was a beautiful blonde, sharing the same blue-eyes as Jaskier. “Geralt can you help me bring him upstairs?” 

Geralt looked up at Eskel who palmed him his half-empty pack of smokes, “Keep them, I’ll see you around.” 

Geralt nodded to him and grabbed Jaskier’s other arm to help Priscilla balance him upright. 

*** * ***

They flopped Jaskier on to his barely made bed, Priscilla was taking off his shoes before sliding the covers over him. 

“You know Geralt, you’re really hot like super hot” Jaskier mumbled, “I didn’t see it before but fuck” 

Geralt sighed, pushing his hair behind his ear as he helped Jaskier’s sister get him tucked in. 

“Sorry, he’s a handful” She muttered, flushed red with embarrassment. 

Geralt grunted, before Jaskier grabbed his hand “Will you go out with me, like some time?” 

Geralt frowned, “I don’t play for your team” he pulled his hand away from the drunken idiot. Looking at Priscilla who was giggling her ass off. Geralt left the room feeling even more uncomfortable than earlier. He listened to Priscilla and Jaskier chat from the kitchen and he stared at his pack of smokes in his hand wanting to just taste the bitterness in his mouth to stop his hands from shaking. 

“Sorry, again” Priscilla said as she closed the door behind herself. 

“I didn’t know he was gay” Geralt choked out, looking back at her. 

“He’s newly out, our parents don’t approve and think it’s just another stunt to get some kind of attention” She leaned on her brother’s door. 

“What do you think?” Geralt asked He had never met someone who was gay before. He didn’t have a problem with it, he just felt uncomfortable but he felt uncomfortable with everything. 

“I’ve always known he was gay, Twins intuitions I guess” She smiled sweetly “Anyway, I’m going to head out an early class tomorrow.” 

Geralt nodded, humming in agreement as he led her out the door and locked it. He took a deep breath, walking into his room to grab the pill bottle out of his bag and a warm water bottle. 

He popped one into his mouth and downed back the bottle before flopping onto his bed. His anxiety was just going for a run in his brain, repeating all the stupid shit he had. He probably sounded homophobic earlier or maybe he’s just overthinking it… It was hours before his body exhausted itself and he passed out. Feeling a sense of peace from his thoughts, his need to smoke every 3 minutes. 

He woke up to a knock on his door and a voice “Hey, sorry about last night.” Geralt sighed, rolling over on to his side to grab his almost dead phone  _ 8 am. _ Geralt heard Jaskier call again “You awake?” 

“I am now” Geralt grunted back, sitting up. He was still fully clothed since he really didn’t feel like getting undressed last night. 

“Oh sorry,” Jaskier nervously laughed, then looked surprised when Geralt swung open the door. “ It’s fine, you were drunk.” 

“Totally but I feel like I made you uncomfortable. I should have told you” Jaskier rubbed the back of his neck with his hand sheepishly smiling. 

“It’s fine” Geralt sighed, “Well I’m going to have a smoke so…” 

“OH, well, I have to leave for class so I’ll walk down with you” Jaskier ran into his room grabbing his bag and keys before popping back out. Geralt pushed his hair out of his face with a sigh, he would have much rather have been alone but he really didn’t want to be a dick after already making him feel bad about just being who he was. 

“Alright, roomie! Off we go” Jaskier bleated with a smile on his face. Geralt hummed in agreement, following his roommate out the door. 

“So, where are you from?” Jaskier said, still smiling as he walked. 

“A small town, you probably don’t know it” Geralt mumbled, already putting a cigarette in between his lips thinking about its taste. 

“Humor me” Jaskier playfully slapped Geralt’s arm as they walked down the stairs. 

“Timmins” Geralt playing with his lighter in his hands, flicking it on and off as they walked. He wanted to light it right now to take the edge off. 

“I’ve heard of it, never been myself.” Jaskier opened the door outside letting Geralt walk out first. Geralt was surprised this guy wasn’t hungover from last night for how drunk he was. 

“I’ve never left this city, my parents don’t like travelling too far from home” Jaskier let out a little bit of a sigh. Watching Geralt lit his smoke with eager hands. “I’ve never understood people who smoke,” Jaskier frowned, waving his hand in front of his face as Geralt exhaled a puff into the air. 

“I wouldn’t recommend it,” Geralt chuckled, feeling himself smile wider than normal. Jaskier smiled back wrinkling his nose, “Well, I’ll catch you later” Jaskier waved as he walked away. Geralt watched, seeing Jaskier’s loose Hawaiian shirt blowing in the wind as he ran across the road to the college. 

Geralt took a long drag, exhaling a giant cloud of smoke into the air feeling the shake in his hand’s return as he thought about class. Having to be with people, strangers, his heartbeat quicken and his breathing became heavy. He inhaled the deep bitter smoke into his lungs, trying to calm himself down.

This is going to be a rough day.


	2. Chapter 2

Geralt was hoping to fade into the background, he sat as far in the back as he could. He wasn’t even sure if he was going to like this class, Introduction to Psychology I. He picked it to fill space not really because he wanted to. Geralt pulled a ratty old notebook out of his bag, he had it since high school and since he missed so much of school it barely had anything in it. He traced his finger on the writing on the cover,  _ Yennefer was here.  _ There were drawings of wolves howling under it, he let out a sigh feeling his heart drop into his stomach. He had really fucked things up with her. 

“Hey,” Geralt nearly jumped out of his skin as someone sat beside him, “whoa, sorry didn’t mean to scare you.” Geralt looked to see it was Eskel, he patted Geralt’s shoulder gently. 

“Didn’t know you were taking Psych” Eskel smiled, 

“I’m undeclared, so I’m taking a little of everything.” Geralt mumbled, flipping open his notebook to a blank page. So much for fading into the background. 

“Makes sense, well maybe this is your calling” Eskel chuckled, pulling a laptop out of his bag. Geralt stared at the laptop, a little enviest that he could never afford something like that. His student loan just barely covered his living expenses for the year. 

Eskel caught him staring at the computer which made him shift in his seat looking away from the other man. “My foster dad got it for me as a gift, it’s nothing fancy” Eskel powered on the computer, he had caught Geralt off guard with the ‘foster dad’ talk. Geralt had been in and out of Foster care for years, his mother always picked drugs over him. He really didn’t picture Eskel as someone cut from the same cloth as him. The guy was so calm and well-mannered. 

“Mhmm” Geralt grunted, looking to the front of the class 

“Do you have any plans for lunch later?” Eskel leaned back in his chair, watching the class filled with students. 

“I’m looking forward to having a smoke after this,” Geralt sighed, trying to put aside the overwhelming feeling to just walk out of this class and go back to the dorm. 

Eskel chuckled, “Well, after that I mean” 

Geralt shrugged, tapping his pen on his notebook feeling his heartbeat quicken in his chest as more and more people filled the room. Eskel had seemed to notice the change in Geralt, he went quiet and placed his hand on Geralt's broad shoulders as a gentle comfort. 

“I’m fine” Geralt pushed the man's hand off his shoulder, shifting in his chair uncomfortably. 

“Right,” Eskel sighed, putting his focus to the front of the class as the professor walked in. 

“Good afternoon class” the professor had a thick British accent, he had a darker skin tone and curly brown locks that fell to his shoulders. “I’m Dr. Mousesack Ermion” He started writing his name in chalk on the board. “Welcome to Introduction to Psychology part 1, what this is going to be is a comprehensive introduction to the study of the human mind.” 

Geralt grabbed his lighter out of his pocket as he was listening to the man talk, rubbing his fingers along it, flicking it on, feeling the heat of the flame before flicking it off. He always did this to ground himself during high anxiety times. 

“--The style of this is there’ll be two lectures a week, as well as course readings. Now, to do well in the course, you have to attend both the lectures and do the readings.” Mousesack pacing around the front of the room talking, using his hands a lot. Geralt was barely listening to the intro of the class, his mind was worried about the people around him if they were staring at him, if they could see through his thug-like mask he put up. 

“Mr. Rivan” the professor called, nearly making him jump again. How did he know his name? Did he know all the students? 

“Please, stop playing with your lighter.” Mousesack groaned, the class was looking at him now, great. Geralt slumped down in his chair feeling uncomfortable with all the eyes of the class just glue on him. 

“As I was saying, So, to pursue this course properly you have to do both. What this means is that if you miss a class you need to get notes, and so you should get them from a friend or from the person sitting next to you.” 

*** * ***

Geralt breathed in the bitter, ashy taste of cigarette smoke. Exhaling the grey cloud of smoke as it spiralled into the air, fading into the background. 

“So what’s with the lighter?” Eskel asked, flicking ashes onto the ground. 

“What do you mean? I smoke” Geralt muttered, He was flicking it open and closed without even noticing. 

“You know what I mean, you play with it all the time.” Eskel pointed at him doing it. 

“I don’t know, nervous tick?” Geralt took a drag off his smoke, placing his lighter back into his pocket. Eskel waved to a group of girls that walked by, the girls giggled and whispered to each as they passed. Geralt frowned at him, why was he so good with people?

“What?” Eskel shot Geralt a confused look, 

“Do you know them?” Geralt spat out, leaning on the brick wall behind him. 

“Yeah, one of them at least.” Eskel rubbed his nose with his forearm before looking passed Geralt “Hey, man!” a tall devilish handsome clasped hands with Eskel lightly bumping their chests together. 

“Hey, Who’s the new guy?” The man looked over at Geralt with golden yellow suns for eyes, his black hair was cut short and well kept just like his beard. 

“Lambert this is Geralt, Geralt this is Lambert he’s my foster brother.” Eskel smiled, Geralt sheepishly waved at Lambert. 

“You guys roommates?” Lambert asked, crossing his arms on his chest.

“No, He’s roommates with Jaskier” Eskel passed his cigarette to Lambert who gladly took a drag off of it. 

“OH boy, must be fun.” Lambert chuckled, passing it back to his brother. 

“Did you guys all go to high school together?” Geralt asked, he felt like an outsider to them which was a normal feeling for him to have. 

“Yeah, Where are you from?” Lambert asked, moving to stand beside him. 

“Timmins” Geralt grunted, looking away from Lambert’s eyes.    
“Ah, cool. So did Jaskier tell you he was gay?” Lambert licked his lips, 

“Like that is any of your business Lambert” Eskel snapped out at Lambert, 

“Just a question,” Lambert added, looking right at Geralt with anticipation. 

“His sister did,” Geralt flicked ashes onto the ground, not really knowing where this conversation was going. 

“Well, at least you know” Lambert smirked, watching the people walk by them. 

“I’m cool with as long as I don’t hear him having sex” Geralt wished he would have taken those words back the moment he said that, That sounded super homophobic. 

Both the guys with him laughed, Eskel coughing on the smoke in his mouth as he grinned. 

“That would be fucking weird.” Lambert slapped Geralt’s arm, Geralt took a deep breath, Lighting another cigarette, nearly shaking uncontrollably. Why did he just say that?

  
  


*** * ***

Geralt pushed open the door to his dorm, Jaskier was sitting at their small dinner table pushed in a corner of the room. He had his books filling the table, a cup of ramen in his hands as he slurped up the noodles. 

Geralt swallowed hard hoping he wouldn’t try to talk with him, he had been through enough today. All his muscles were sore, his heart was beating out of his chest, he felt like he was going to throw up. 

“Hey, how was your first day?” Jaskier called Geralt who was just standing there awkwardly. 

“Mhmm” Geralt grunted walking to his door, he felt heat spread to his face the moment Jaskier talked. He tried to unlock his door but his hands were shaking so badly he dropped them. “Fuck..” 

“You okay?” Jaskier stood up from his chair, placing his food down on his books. “You don’t look so good.” 

Geralt went picked up his keys, getting unwanted flashbacks of him getting called out by a teacher, him saying stupid things, making weird eye contact. He was hyperventilating at this point trying to get his keys off the ground. Jaskier Grabbed the keys before him, giving him a small smile as he unlocked the door for him. 

Geralt crumbled to the floor breathing heavily, nearly in tears. He was a pretty big guy, Jaskier probably thought he was weak just from one simple question of ‘how was your day’. 

“Hey…” Jaskier kneeled in front of him, “You okay? What’s wrong?” 

“Meds” Geralt choked out, feeling his throat tighten with every word. 

Jaskier stood up and scanned the room seeing two pill bottles on his end table “Which one?” Jaskier asked, grabbing both of them and the nearly empty water bottle. 

“Starts with a V” Geralt breathed out, fumbling with his words. Jaskier looked at the bottles then passed him one, “here” 

Geralt quickly took it, downing the rest of the bottle of water and collapsing back onto the ground covering his face with his hands. He felt Jaskier’s hand on his thigh, “So I guess it was a pretty bad day then” 

Geralt felt himself smile a little bit behind his hands. 

*** * ***

Geralt and Jaskier were both lying on the cold Laminate flooring, eating banana popsicles that Jaskier had gotten from the little shop in the lobby of their dorm. Jaskier had explained it was something he and his Sister would do together on sad days. 

“50” Jaskier mumbled 

“What?” Geralt grunted, looking at Jaskier beside him. 

“Oh, Sorry I was counting the ceiling tiles” Jaskier chuckled, before sucking on the end of the popsicle. 

“Am I that boring?” Geralt asked, 

“No,” Jaskier smiled, making eye contact with Geralt. The pool of blue staring at him made him feel calm, he didn’t want to look away from them, unlike every other time he looked into other people’s eyes. Maybe it was just the drugs. Probably just the drugs.

“You know the point of this is for you to actually eat the popsicle and not let it drip onto your hand” Jaskier was staring at the yellow liquid dripping down Geralt’s hand. 

“Oh, shit” Geralt licked it off his hand and up to popsicle before taking a bit of it. When he looked back at Jaskier his face was bright red and averted his eyes the moment Geralt locked with his. 

“Well, nice weather we’re having huh?” Jaskier coughed out, awkwardly taking a bite out of the popsicle. Geralt hummed in an agreement. 

Silence filled the space between them, they kept eating until there was nothing left. Geralt could feel Jaskier’s eyes on him as he stood up to throw out the stick. 

“I can give you my number,” Jaskier said, sitting up off the floor. “Just in case you need someone to talk to during school.”

Geralt looked at him, was he hitting on him again? Or was he just being nice? 

“I mean because you had a panic attack, maybe talking to someone will help before it starts?” Jaskier looked nervous asking, his face was flushed and he was fumbling his way through his words. 

“I don’t know” Geralt muttered,

“It can’t hurt to try,” Jaskier smiled, running his hands through his brown locks. 

“I guess,” Geralt took out his phone and handed it to Jaskier “It can’t hurt.” 


	3. Chapter 3

It had been 3 weeks since Geralt and Jaskier had exchanged numbers, Jaskier mostly sent memes to him at odd times in the day or would send him selfies of what he was doing at that time. Geralt enjoyed his friendship, he didn’t need to try hard to be normal with him. Jaskier accepted him from who he was. 

Geralt’s phone went off in Mousesack’s class, he looked over at Eskel who was so into the class he didn’t hear it go off on Geralt’s desk. He slowly slid it off the desk hiding it in his lap, It was Jaskier again.

_ From: Roommate _

_ Hey, did you want to have lunch with us? _

_ Seen at 2:15 PM _

_ From: Silver Fox _

_ Us? _

_ Seen at 2:18 PM _

_ From: Roommate _

_ Me and my sister, duh?  _

_ Seen at 2:20 PM _

_ From: Silver Fox _

_ Sure? Outside? _ _   
_ _ Seen at 2:24 PM _

Geralt looked back up at the professor trying to figure out what he missed, They were talking about Sigmund Freud or something. “He’s one of the most famous scholars ever but he’s not known for any single discovery. Instead, he’s known for the development of an encompassing theory of mind, one that he developed over the span of many decades.--” Mousesack paced, Should he be writing this down? He should probably be writing this down. Geralt wrote down about two words before his phone went off again. 

  
  


_ From: Roommate _

_ Yes, you addict. It’s on me what do you want? _

_ Seen At 2:34 PM _

_ From: Silver Fox _

_ You don’t have to buy me lunch. _

_ Seen at 2:35 PM _

_ From: Roommate _

_ A surprise then. _

_ Seen at 2:36 PM _

Geralt let out a sigh, sliding his phone back into his pocket. Trying to focus but honestly couldn’t, was this a date to Jaskier? He had told him many times he wasn’t gay and had no interest. Geralt looked at Eskel again, Eskel asked him all the time to hang out and go have lunch with him but he never thought of it that way. Why should he with Jaskier just because he was gay?

“He had certain aggression towards him. He was also — He’s also disliked, often hated, because of his views. He was seen as a sexual renegade out to destroy the conception of people as good and rational and pure beings.--” Mousesack continued his lecture, capturing most of the class’s attention. 

Geralt chewed on his pen cap, focus, focus. Geralt’s phone went off again, he tried really hard not to answer it. Jaskier could wait, he knew Geralt was in class so it’s not the end of the world right? God but what if he thought he was ignoring him? 

Geralt pulled out his phone and it was just a photo of Jaskier and his sister sitting under a tree outside the school. Geralt smiled a little, he was actually excited to have lunch with them. 

_ From: Silver Fox _

_ You’re not helping me focus. _

_ Seen at 2:43 PM _

_ From: Roommate _

_ Eh, who cares about Psych anyway ;) _

_ Seen at 2:46 PM  _

_ From: Silver fox _

_ Eskel does, I need to at least pass. _

_ Seen at 2:48 PM _

_ From: Roommate _

_ You and Eskel close? _ _   
_ _ Seen at 2:50 PM  _

_ From: Silver Fox _

_ No. _

_ Seen at 2:52 PM _

“Can you text a little quieter?” Eskel whispered, nudging Geralt with his elbow as he typed on his keyboard. 

“Sorry,” Geralt mumbled, putting his phone away. “Can’t focus”

“Is it a girl?” Eskel chuckled, 

“Nah roommate” Geralt went back to biting his pen, things had gotten easier with Eskel but he was still super uncomfortable talking to him. Mostly because he felt like with Eskel’s group he could never be himself. Putting up this ‘I’m okay’ act was really annoying and hard to keep up. 

“Jaskier?” Eskel asked hushedly, Geralt hummed in agreement. 

“You guys getting close? You text him a lot” Eskel probed, Geralt shrugged as an answer still chewing his pen like a dog with a chew toy. Was it bad that he and Jaskier were close? Did that upset Eskel? Did he and Eskel being friends upset Jaskier? his brain was spiralling like he had lost control over it. 

“I’ll stick around and answer questions. Hope to see you next week.” Mousesack clapped his hands and went to stand by the desk at the front, putting his papers away. 

Geralt shoved everything on his desk into his bag. 

“Smoke break?” Eskel asked, putting his laptop back into its case. 

“Got plans, catch you later?” Geralt stood up swinging his bag over his shoulder. 

“Sure,” Eskel looked Geralt up and down then smiled up at him. It kind of threw Geralt for a loop, why did he look at him like that? 

Geralt nodded at him and ran for the door. 

  
  


*** * ***

“Hey, Geralt!” Jaskier waved, his guitar pressed against his chest, sitting under a tree in the shade, the wind blowing in his brown hair. 

Geralt was lighting a smoke as he walked up, lightly waving as he put his lighter back into his pocket. He blew smoke up into the air letting the wind take it until it disappeared. The taste he craved for the last hour, it felt good. 

“How was class?” Jaskier asked as he strummed the strings of his guitar echoing through its hallowed center. 

“Okay,” Geralt sat down with the twins. Priscilla was writing in a notebook, her hair in a tight bun on top of her head, she was wearing pink eyeshadow that matched the colour of her dress. 

“Well,” Jaskier placed his guitar down to pull a small white box out of his bag. “I got your lunch” 

“Jaskier, you really didn’t have to” Geralt turned his head a bit to blow the smoke away from the two of them. 

“My treat” Jaskier smiled, that wide toothy smile that really made his eyes shine as he handed Geralt the box. “It’s just a sandwich, it’s honestly nothing” 

Geralt grabbed it, placing it in his lap “Sucks, I really hate sandwiches.” 

“Oh…” Jaskier stopped smiling and looked away. 

“I’m joking, thanks” Geralt smirked, placing his cigarette in between his lips and sucking in deeply. 

“OH, haha.” Jaskier smacked Geralt’s leg playfully “It’s really hard to tell when you're kidding! You’re always so serious” Jaskier made a very serious look “I really hate sandwiches” He mocked Geralt’s deep voice which made Priscilla giggle. 

Geralt exhaled a large cloud of smoke after holding it in his mouth for a while, holding on to the feeling, the high. It was odd how comfortable he was around these two. 

“I don’t sound like that” Geralt mumbled, 

“Yes, you do” Priscilla snorted, finally looking up from her notebook, “I think he got you pretty spot on.” 

“I did, I really did. Best acting I’ve ever done” Jaskier smiled, picking up his guitar again. 

Geralt rolled his eyes, popping the box open “You guys already eat?” the two of them nodded to Geralt’s question. Jaskier started to strum a tone, “You mind if I sing?” He asked. 

“Free country” Geralt muttered, he would never admit but he loved Jaskier’s singing. Jaskier played the melody, his sister closed her eyes and she listened, resting her hand on his knee. 

_ I am not the only traveller _

_ Who has not repaid his debt _

_ I've been searching for a trail to follow again _

_ Take me back to the night we met _

_ And then I can tell myself _

_ What the hell I'm supposed to do _

_ And then I can tell myself _

_ Not to ride along with you _

Geralt ate his sandwich, listening to Jaskier’s voice carrying on the breeze with every heartbeat of the song. He kind of forgot about everything on his mind for a while, he forgot about the cigarette burning in his hand, the heat of the sun on his flesh. He just listened to the crisp harmony of his roommate’s voice. 

Geralt locked eyes with Jaskier who smiled in the pause of his singing before letting the words roll off his tongue like they were made for Geralt. 

_ When the night was full of terrors _

_ And your eyes were filled with tears _

_ When you had not touched me yet _

_ Oh, take me back to the night we met _

Geralt quickly looked down at his sandwich, taking the last drag off his cigarette before flicking it into the plane of green grass. It was probably nothing, they were just friends, just friends. 

When Jaskier finished the song his sister clapped, Geralt had just taken a giant bite of the sandwich hoping to not have to comment on the performance.

“You want a turn?” Jaskier asked his sister, she shook her head “I’m saving my voice for tonight’s Poem reading” 

“Oh right, Hey, Geralt you want to come?” Jaskier looked over at him with that damned Smile again. 

Geralt swallowed his food, coughing a little “Homework sorry.” 

Jaskier frowned, “bollocks, next time then.”

“I do one every Thursday at this little dive bar down the street” Priscilla pointed in the direction with her finger. 

Geralt grunted as he stuffed his face with the sandwich, Jaskier was eagerly watching him eat. Probably because Geralt didn’t eat a lot, mostly because he couldn’t afford to eat well and anxiety was a bitch sometimes and didn’t let him eat. 

Geralt looked away from Jaskier hoping he would go back to singing or something just to stop him from watching. Eskel and Lambert were standing near the entrance to the school. Smoking, watching. 

Geralt took a deep breath and looked back at the other two, trying not to think about what they thought. It doesn’t matter what they think right? Geralt swallowed hard, placing his half-eaten sandwich back in its box as his stomach turned upside down causing a wave of nausea to hit him. 

“Who wants to go for a little walk?” Jaskier spat out, putting his guitar back into its case. 

How did Jaskier know something was bugging him? “Sure,” Geralt muttered, closing the box up. He pulled out a cigarette the moment he looked back at Eskel, feeling his hand shaking again as he lit it 

“I have to get to my next class so I’ll see you two later” Priscilla smiled tapping Geralt’s shoulder as she walked past him. 

“Come on, Geralt” Jaskier gestured with his head to get moving. Geralt followed him to the other side of the school, to a little secret garden area. 

“Come here” Jaskier sat down on the stone steps to get up to the garden. Geralt blew smoke into the air before sitting down beside him, feeling himself fade into autopilot. 

Jaskier smiled at him, raising his hand to Geralt’s cheek “Look at me.” 

Geralt fixed his eyes into Jaskier’s deep blue pools of ocean water. “Breathe” Jaskier whispered, Geralt took a deep breath then pulled away from Jaskier feeling his heart sink into his stomach like a rock. 

“I’m not gay” Geralt licked his lips before taking a long drag off his cigarette.

Jaskier sighed crossing his arms on his legs, “No one said you were.” 

*** * ***

Geralt was lying in his bed, barely clothed listening to the slamming of his roommate’s bed frame against the wall. The night he dreaded finally came, Jaskier bringing back some guy to fuck. 

Geralt grabbed a cigarette out of the pack on his end table and put it in his mouth. He wasn’t allowed to smoke in the dorm but he felt like it being 2 in the morning people would let it slide. He lit the smoke with a deep sigh, listening to the moaning on the other side of the wall making his stomach knot itself up making him feel sick. 

Why should he care what Jaskier does in his room? Why did the thought of Jaskier getting banged by some guy make him sick to his stomach? Geralt blew a thick cloud of smoke into the air which hung there since there was no wind to carry it away. 

He should probably open a window or something, or just leave but he feared if he moved he would just throw up.

Geralt blew another big cloud of smoke, flicking the ashes into the glass of water he had on his end table. Why did he hate this so much? it’s not affecting him in any way, Jaskier is not hurting anyone. Geralt clenched his teeth, blowing smoking out through his nose, Why did he feel like this? 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song used in this chapter was The Night We Met by Lord Huron.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The kissing event was inspired by the book of David by anonymous. beautiful book <3

Geralt stood under the rainfall coming from the showerhead, he had turned the water to as cold as it would go just to wake himself up a bit. He had barely slept, between Jaskier and his own thoughts he maybe got 2 hours of sleep. 

He turned off the water when his body couldn’t take the cold anymore. He walked out with a slide of the curtain grabbing his grey towel off the rack and dried himself off. He walked up to the mirror staring at himself, he really needed a haircut. His ashen hair had grown down to his shoulders, it was thick and heavy. Geralt didn’t have the money to get someone to cut it or the skill to do it himself.

He wrapped the towel around his waist and quickly brushed his teeth. He didn’t have a class until 3 in the afternoon but he wanted to hit the gym for a couple of hours even though he felt like trash. 

Geralt heard Jaskier’s door open, curiosity got the best of him because he found himself opening up the bathroom door still in a towel. A man of average build stood by Jaskier’s door, with messy blonde hair. He looked like he got dressed in a hurry and was closing Jaskier’s door behind himself. 

Geralt crossed his arms and raised an eyebrow to him, The guy locked eyes with Geralt like a deer in headlights. His eyes wandering down to Geralt’s washboard abs, they stared at each other for a bit before the guy choked out words “I’m going to go.” 

“You do that,” Geralt narrowed his eyes, watching him leave the room. The moment the door shut Jaskier walked out fully dressed in bright blues that made his eyes pop. 

“Scaring my date away, are we?” Jaskier hummed, not even looking at Geralt.

“You two kept me up all night so yeah” Geralt grunted, flicking the light switch off. Jaskier looked at him, he was probably about to say something snarky since his mouth hung open. Jaskier looked Geralt up and down, his face getting flushed the longer he looked. 

“Jesus…” He whispered, biting his lip. 

“What?” Geralt frowned, giving Jaskier a weird look before walking into his bedroom. 

“Nothing, just looking at a work of art,” Jaskier muttered before Geralt slammed the door behind himself. He rested his head on the door, feeling the boiling of anger in his chest. Why was he so angry? Was he angry because Jaskier fucked some guy? Was he angry because Jaskier was gay? Or what?

Geralt let out a shaky breath, he quickly changed into his loose-fitting gym clothes, throwing a black hoodie on top of it, throwing odds and ends into his backpack before walking out of his room again. 

Jaskier had made himself a cup of instant coffee by this point, he quickly turned to Geralt watching him take a cold water bottle out of the fridge and stuffing it into his bag. 

“Where are you going?” Jaskier asked, Geralt closed the fridge and looked him dead in the eyes. 

“Out.” 

Jaskier furrowed his brow with worry, “Ah...are you mad at me?” 

Geralt sighed, turning on his heels and walked out the door. 

  
  


*** * ***

Geralt sat under a little sheltered area just outside the dorm, the rain was coming down in sheets as he lit his 3rd cigarette. He was soaked through to the bone, from the sweat of working out for nearly 3 hours and the heavy rain he walked through on the way back. 

The anger in his chest had left but was replaced with guilt that string deep into his bones. He hadn’t looked at his phone since he left this morning in fear that Jaskier had texted him about how he acted. 

His hands were shaking from the cold as he parted his lips to place the cigarette in between them. He was probably going to skip his only class today, he felt like trash and just really wanted to sleep off this feeling for good. 

He slid his hand into his pocket pulling out his phone, feeling anxious just by the sight of it. He clicked the button to see the lock screen seeing one message from Jaskier. 

_ From: Roommate _

_ I hope you didn’t get caught in the rain.  _

_ Seen at 2:24 PM _

Geralt smiled, feeling a little bit of weight lift off his shoulders. Whenever He and Yennefer had it out and he ran off it was always neverending texts and phone calls. Why was he comparing this to his ex? Jaskier was just a friend. 

_ From: Silver fox _

_ I did. _

_ Seen at 2:25 PM _

_ From: Roommate _

_ Oh no, I’m home so we can dry you off once you get back. Can’t have you spraying water everywhere like a wet dog.  _

_ Seen at 2:26 PM _

_ From: Silver fox _

_ No class today?  _

_ Seen at 2:27 PM _

_ From: Roommate  _

_ No, I get Fridays off, remember? _

_ Seen at 2:28 PM _

Geralt let out a sigh blowing smoke out of his nose flicking his nearly burned out cigarette onto the ground and stomped on it. He was glad Jaskier wasn’t mad at him, he didn’t know if he could handle that right now or ever for that matter. 

He should probably get out of the rain before catching a cold. 

  
  


*** * ***

As soon as Geralt walked into the dorm Jaskier was throwing towels at him to dry off. Holding a mop in hand to clean anything that leaked on to the floor. 

“Did you just stand in the rain?” Jaskier scoffed, putting on a towel onto Geralt’s head, Smiling widely. 

“No, it was just going down hard.” Geralt grunted as Jaskier rubbed the towel into his hair. “I’m not a child,” Geralt moved Jaskier’s hands and rubbed his hair dry himself. 

“Sorry…” Jaskier stepped back, “You're probably good enough to go get changed.” 

Geralt took off his shoes and put them at the door on top of a towel so it wouldn’t make a mess. 

“It’s fine,” Geralt walked past Jaskier and closed his door so he could change. Even though they were both guys Geralt felt uncomfortable, especially what happened after this morning. Jaskier’s eyes glued to his chest sizing him up, Geralt never saw himself as good looking. 

Geralt put on a fresh shirt and shorts before walking out again, Jaskier was cleaning up the towels on the floor and bringing them into his room. 

“Sorry about the mess” Geralt sighed, Jaskier shrugged “It’s just water.”

Silence filled the air before Jaskier spoke up “You want some hot chocolate? You must be freezing” he walked up to the little kitchenette and turned on the kettle. 

“Sure…” Geralt walked up to the kitchen table and sat down. “You want to put coffee in that?” He put his head in his hand as the wave of exhaustion hit him hard.

Jaskier chuckled, “Sure, sorry for keeping you up” 

“Just please don’t do that again” Geralt rubbed his temples “It’s the worst.” 

Jaskier nodded before turning to fix up the drinks, Geralt took a deep breath, what he said just that must have sounded rude. Fuck, he just keeps fucking up today.

Jaskier placed a white mug down in front of him “There, should warm you up.” 

Geralt put his hands around the mug feeling the heat coming off of it. “I’m sorry I was a dick” 

“It’s fine, you’re tired” Jaskier blew the steam off his mug. 

“It’s no excuse, I’m making you feel bad for who you are.” Geralt locked eyes with Jaskier, seeing that shine in those wonderful blue eyes. 

“Can’t please everyone” Jaskier took a sip out of his cup, Geralt grabbed Jaskier’s hand that was resting on the table, “I’m serious Jaskier.” 

Jaskier smiled “It’s honestly fine, really” Jaskier moved his hand away then gently placed his hand on Geralt’s thigh. Leaning in close to Geralt’s face, Geralt felt his heart rate skyrocket as he felt Jaskier’s breath against his cheek. 

Jaskier’s hand moved to the side of Geralt’s neck, his thumb resting on his jaw. There was a part of Geralt that wanted to turn away but there was that other part that couldn’t look away from those deep blue eyes. Jaskier pulled Geralt’s head closer until their lips pressed against each other. Geralt’s Body tensed up but quickly relaxed into Jaskier’s. His mouth was firm and strong and warm against Geralt’s. The warmth seemed to flow through him, shooting through every part of his body. Jaskier brought them closer as they stood up, Geralt felt their hips pressed together tightly as Jaskier’s tongue searched out for him and for a moment, it was warm, not sloppy. 

After a second Jaskier broke the kiss, his hand still on Geralt’s neck and jaw. His forehead against Geralt’s as they panted, Geralt leaned forward for another kiss. Wanting more to taste the sweetness of Jaskier’s lips again but he froze, realizing what had just happened. His heart shot up into his throat, he pulled away and jumped back knocking the chair over onto the floor. 

“Jaskier!” Geralt shouted, “I’m not gay” 

Jaskier stepped back and held his hands up, “Hey, man it’s cool” his voice was calm and collected. 

Geralt’s heart was pounding and he could barely breathe, He looked down noticing that he had an erection showing and backed up against the counter and slid down to the floor, burying his face into his hands. 

“I’m not gay,” He repeated, tears filling his eyes “I can’t be,” 

Jaskier was quiet but kneeled down near Geralt, as he cried into his hands. After about a minute Geralt wiped away the tears and looked up at Jaskier and was looking at him with that warm smile. Jaskier whispered, “No one said you were gay.” 

Geralt laughed, “We were just kissing I think everyone would say that’s pretty fucking gay.”

“Who cares were the only two here” Jaskier sat down on the floor still smiling in front of him. 

“My mother would KILL me if she found out” Geralt swallowed hard, his heart still pounding in his chest. 

“And who’s going to tell her?” Jaskier laughed a little, “Nobody is saying your gay, we’re just two guys kissing why label yourself?”

“It’s not that simple” Geralt muttered, 

“It could be” Jaskier whispered, resting his hand on Geralt’s leg for comfort. This just made him more confused, all these feelings were dancing in his head he didn’t have time to fixate on any of them but he knew he wanted a taste of that again. He needed to know that feeling for a fluke.

They sat there for a while until Jaskier sighed and stood up holding out his hand to Geralt giving him a hand to stand up, the two of them didn’t let go of each other. Geralt couldn’t work up the courage to move, those eyes were like a drug, something he craved more than cigarettes. 

“Don’t freak out.” Geralt whispered as he pulled Jaskier into another kiss, trying to feel whether this spark was real, whether he should risk everything…

Geralt slid both of his hands up to Jaskier’s face holding him in place, feeling Jaskier’s arm’s wrap around his waist pulling them closer together. Geralt had never been held like this before, not by Yen, not by anyone. 

They were breathing together, sharing the same air as they kissed passionately together, to the point where Geralt’s brain went silent for once all his thoughts were just focused on Jaskier’s lips. The taste, the feel.

Geralt ran his fingers into Jaskier's hair, as Jaskier traced his spine with his fingers. After a while, Jaskier broke the kiss out of breath, smiling his winning smile “Your good at this” He panted. 

Geralt felt his heart skip a beat, being unable to say anything until Jaskier pulled him back into the kiss. They were both out of breath, panting as they were pressed together, Jaskier hands wandered down Geralt’s chest to the hem of his shorts. 

Geralt grabbed his hand, and Jaskier had guilt pooling into his eyes “Uh, I’m sorry…” 

“I--I Just need to think” Geralt looked down, “this is just a lot…” 

Jaskier nodded, “Okay, I understand” 

Geralt kissed the palm of Jaskier’s hand, pulling away from him “Jaskier…” 

“What?” Jaskier looked like he wanted to step forward and kiss him again. 

“Please, don’t tell anyone,” Geralt pushed his damp hair out of his face, seeing Jaskier smile widely “Tell them about what?” 

“You know...This” Geralt sighed, licking his lips. 

“I have no idea what you’re talking about” Jaskier chuckled, walking into his room with a proud walk “Go take a nap Geralt, you look exhausted.” 


	5. Chapter 5

Geralt had been spending a lot of time with Eskel and his gang of misfits, avoiding Jaskier nearly at all costs. Geralt had felt guilty about it but he hadn’t processed what happened the other day and staring into those blue eyes just made him nervous instead of calm like they used to. 

Eskel and Geralt were sitting in the shade having a smoke as they watched Lambert and his roommate Aiden wrestling in the grass. Coen was the referee, not a very good one. Geralt liked Coen, he was quiet when he did speak he could make everyone roar with laughter. He always wondered what happened with his eyes though, they were always bloodshot. 

“Did you get started on the research report?” Eskel asked, 

“No,” Geralt sighed, lighting another cigarette “don’t we have like a month to write it?” 

Eskel laughed, blowing smoke from his nose “You really going to leave that last minute?” 

Geralt shrugged, “I have a lot going on right now.” 

Eskel laughed as Lambert got his legs knocked from under him, Aiden pinning him to the ground. 

“1,...2,...3” Coen tapped the ground, once the last number was called Lambert stopped fighting Aiden. 

“Fuck, man your good” Lambert slapped Aiden’s side, 

“I know I am,” Aiden helped Lambert up. Aiden had gotten a football scholarship, getting a full ride through college. He was kind and gentle the totally opposite for Lambert’s fuck the world attitude. 

Geralt looked past them, seeing Jaskier walking by, his arm’s linked with his beautiful sister. Jaskier smiled, waving at Geralt as nothing had changed between them. Geralt nodded and looked away quickly feeling his heart sink. 

“Roommate problems?” Eskel asked, bumped his knee against Geralt’s. 

“What? No” Geralt scoffed, feeling his face flush red hot. 

“You know dude, you can talk to me” Eskel smiled, taking a drag off his cigarette.

“You're not my therapist” Geralt sighed, licked the taste of ash off his lips wishing it was the taste of Jaskier. 

“No, but I hope I’m at least your friend.” Eskel furrowed his brow, Geralt hummed in agreement pressing his cigarette to his lips continuing to watch Lambert getting beat by Aiden. 

Geralt wondered if Aiden and Lambert had the same relationship as him and Jaskier. The way Aiden looked at Lambert was magical like Lambert was his whole world, but the way Lambert poked fun at Jaskier for being openly gay probably meant they were not the same. 

“Unfair!” Lambert laughed out loud as Aiden tickled him to get the upper hand. “Coen what do I pay you for that’s dirty!” 

“You don’t pay me” Coen mumbled, trying to hold back laughter. 

Aiden pulled Lambert into a headlock, “Learn to fight dirty and maybe you’ll win!” 

“Fuck off!” Lambert bit Aiden’s arm, finally getting out of the headlock. 

Geralt let out a sigh, leaning his back up against the tree behind him. Feeling his phone go off in his pocket. He slid it out to check to see Jaskier’s name on his phone, his whole body teased up. 

_ From: Roommate _

_ I know you’re still working through everything but you look so amazing with the wind in your hair.  _

_ Seen at 4:23 PM _

Geralt looked around, seeing Jaskier studying under a tree with his sister singing beside him. He felt his heart rate speed up and his face got hot, he wanted to text back but didn’t know what to follow up with. He stared at it for a while before finally, He was able to type something.

_ From: Silver Fox _

_ So, you’re not mad at me? _

_ Seen at 4:26 PM _

_ From: Roommate _

_ Why would I be mad?  _

_ Seen at 4:27 PM _

_ From: Silver Fox _

_ For avoiding you. _

_ Seen at 4:30 PM _

_ From: Roommate _

_ It’s fine, You’re not my first ‘straight’ boy. Again at any point, you can tell me you just want to be friends.  _

_ Seen at 4:32 PM _

Eskel stood up “Come on boys that’s enough” he went to break up Aiden and Lambert, Eskel was much like the mother hen of the group. He worried about everyone like they were his children. He always wondered why that was. 

_ From: Silver Fox _

_ Question, are you just trying to make straight people gay? _

_ Seen at 4:34 PM _

_ From: Roommate _

_ OH god no! That’s just too much heartbreak for me. I just have a really good Gaydar, so I can tell when people are secretly into dudes but I’m also not going to force people out of the closet.  _ _  
_ _ You know, Aiden is gay, he’s in the closet but he goes to our LGBTQ meetings.  _

_ Seen at 4:37 PM _

Geralt sighed, as the guys came and sat down beside him. “What’s up, Geralt?” Aiden pushed his brown curly hair out of his face. Geralt looked at him then quickly looked away remembering how hot and flushed his face was. 

“Nothing,” Geralt grunted, sliding his phone back into his pocket. 

Geralt guessed it made sense with how Aiden looked at Lambert with that sparking light in his eyes, but if Lambert knew would they still be friends? Should he still be friends with Jaskier? 

Geralt swallowed hard, taking a drag off his smoke as his hands shook. Lambert laid down on the ground staring up at the clouds blowing in the wind. Aiden put a cigarette in Lambert’s mouth, lighting it for him. 

“Thanks,” Lambert smiled, blowing smoke out of his nose. 

“Oh. My. God, He was nice to someone, it’s a Christmas miracle!” Coen gasped loudly, Lambert groaned as everyone laughed. 

“Fuck off you assholes” Lambert frowned,

“There he is” Aiden smiled, lying down beside Lambert, nudging him with his elbow. 

Geralt looked down the two of them, maybe it wouldn’t hurt to ask Aiden about this. Maybe he could be helpful to figure out what was going on with him, what was going on between him and Jaskier. 

“I really don’t want to go to class” Eskel sighed, leaning back against the tree with Geralt. 

“Yet, you give me shit for skipping,” Geralt muttered. 

“Fuck off” Eskel chuckled, “I got ten minutes to get to class so I’m going to peace out.” Eskel stood up, messing up Geralt’s hair “See you guys later.” Geralt watched him walk away feeling his stomach turn upside down as Eskel walked away. He had never been with these guys without Eskel before. 

Geralt pulled out his phone again texting Jaskier just to keep his hands busy. To keep his mind fixed on something else. 

_ From: Silver Fox _

_ Would have never known. _

_ Seen at 4:52 PM _

_ From: Roommate _

_ Really? I just watched him light a smoke for fucking Lambert.  _

_ Seen at 4:53 PM _

_ From: Silver Fox  _

_ Are you spying on us? _

_ Seen at 4:55 PM _

_ From: Roommate  _

_ Just you. _

_ Seen at 4:56 PM  _

“Geralt,” Coen leaned over to Geralt, itching his beard. 

“Mhmm?” Geralt hummed mid text, feeling Coen get closer to his ear. 

“Do you think something is going on between Aiden and Lambert?” He whispered Geralt could smell the bitter ash on his breath as he talked. 

“It’s not our business” Geralt heart rate shot up, his nausea getting almost unbearable. 

“No, it’s not, but is it just me or is Aiden good for him?” Coen mumbled, making Geralt get flushed and hot again, cool sweat pouring off his forehead. He was caught off guard by Coen being supportive, so kind and loving. Maybe it was okay for him to like Jaskier, to like the taste of his lips and the feel of his strong body against him. 

Geralt felt himself just humming in agreement, not being able to speak, his throat being locked into place. He looked down at his hands, shaking. 

“We're going to get back to the dorms,” Lambert stood up, helping Aiden to his feet. 

“Homework is never-ending” Aiden mumbled smiling, 

“Right, yeah,” Coen nodded “You boys have fun.” 

Lambert gave Coen the finger and walked away with Aiden still playing fighting as they walked. Geralt swallowed trying to work up the courage to say something. 

“They are totally fucking,” Coen chuckled putting a cigarette into his mouth, lighting it with his shiny metal lighter. 

“How do you know?” Geralt choked out as he rubbed the sweat off his forehead.

“Lambert is only nice to people he’s fucking” Coen exhaled a thick cloud of grey smoke. Geralt looked at him, “I thought Lambert was straight?” 

Coen shrugged “Sexuality is fluid Geralt” 

Geralt always forgot that Coen was a Global Genders and Sexualities major, probably because he never talked much or shared his opinions on things a lot. He guessed out of everyone he would be the best to talk to...but not right now. 

The two of them sat together in silence for a while, watching people walk by, The sweet singing voice of Priscilla in the background that carried on the wind. Geralt wanted to leave but also felt bad leaving Coen alone, should he wait until he leaves first? 

“Do you have any more classes today?” Coen asked flicking ashes into the grass. 

“No,” Geralt grunted, trying to avoid eye contact at all cost. He watched Coen pull out his phone to check the time. 

“I should probably go, I need to talk with my professor before class starts” Coen stood up, smiled widely before walking off leaving Geralt to his own thoughts. 

Geralt’s eyes wandered to Jaskier across the yard, he was already looking at him with a smile, his hair blowing in the wind. Geralt still didn’t know what to do, how to feel about everything. 

He just knew that he couldn’t stop thinking about how Jaskier’s lips felt on him. 


	6. Chapter 6

Geralt had just woken up from a nap, his face laying in his books scattered on his desk. He had been doing the research for his report and had passed out. He stretched his arms up in the air letting out a big yawn. His neck and back were killing him, it wasn’t a smart idea to fall asleep like that.

He felt a blanket slide off his shoulders and land on the ground. He stared at it, a light green cotton blanket, it wasn’t his. Geralt turned to see that he left his door open, did Jaskier come in to put a blanket on him? Geralt stood up picking up the blanket and holding it up to his face to breathe into the sweet smell of Jaskier’s cologne. 

“Pervert” Jaskier’s voice came from his door making him jump. 

“Ah, Fuck” Geralt almost fell tripping over his chair, “Don’t do that!” 

Jaskier smiled, leaning on Geralt’s door frame with a cup of a coffee in his hand. He looked exhausted. “Sorry, I had too” 

“What time is it?” Geralt grunted, trying to find his phone in the sea of books. 

“3 in the morning or something like that” Jaskier blew the hot steam off his cup before taking a sip. 

Geralt let out a sigh, starting to clean all of his books on his desk. He must have been sleeping a good long while. 

“You take your meds?” Jaskier asked, watching him cleaning up his desk. 

“Yes,” Geralt grunted, then thought about it for a minute “No, yes?” he wasn’t actually sure, because he always took it before bed but he didn’t plan on falling asleep. 

Jaskier laughed, “I’ll take that as a solid maybe then.” 

Geralt went and grabbed his pill bottle off his end table and walked past Jaskier to the kitchen. 

“What are you doing drinking coffee this late?” Geralt asked, grabbing a glass out of the cupboard. 

“Couldn’t sleep,” Jaskier replied, and walked up beside Geralt, leaning his body onto the counter. 

Geralt looked at him catching that beautiful smile spread across Jaskier’s face. Heat spread across Geralt’s face as he turned away, filling his glass with water and pouring a pill into his hand. 

“You look beautiful,” Jaskier purred, watching Geralt take his meds. 

Geralt’s heart jumped into his throat, making it hard for him to swallow the pill in his mouth. Geralt looked at Jaskier, feeling his knees go weak staring into the pools of blue. Jaskier placed his mug down on the counter and grabbed Geralt by the shirt, pulling him down for a rough kiss. 

Jaskier held on to Geralt’s shirt, knotting it into his fists. “I’m sorry...I should have asked” 

Geralt’s breathing was heavy, feeling dazed from the surprise kiss, he slowly rested his hands onto Jaskier’s waist. 

Jaskier’s eyes were scanning his face as Geralt leaned down brushing his lips against Jaskier. His heart was pounding in his chest, aching with every breath he took. 

“I’m going to go to bed” Geralt whispered, Jaskier nodded slowly breathing out “Yeah, that’s a good idea.” 

“Yeah,” Geralt swallowed trying to get the lump out of his throat “I have an early class” 

“Yea-” Jaskier was cut off from Geralt pressing his lips against his, getting pulled closer against Geralt’s body. Was this okay? Why did this feel so dangerous, so criminal?

Heat spread to all parts of his body but was the hottest in the growing length in his pants as Jaskier rubbed against him trying to get closer than he already was. Geralt moaned into the kiss, mapping out Jaskier’s mouth with his tongue in hopes to never forget his way back. 

Jaskier slid his hands up Geralt’s shirt making Geralt break the kiss and back away. “Good talk” Geralt whispered before walking back to his room hearing Jaskier mumble to himself “So close…” before he closed his door. 

*** * ***

Geralt walked into the Library seeing Coen and Aiden studying together in silence, this was perfect timing. He had talked himself up all night to talk with them alone about everything he was going through. To see if they can help him understand these feelings and if they were okay or even real. 

Geralt walked up to them and Coen smiled “Hey buddy, coming to join us?” 

Geralt cleared his throat sitting down in a chair, feeling himself sweating even in a cooled room. “Uh, can I talk to you guys?” 

Aiden looked up from his laptop, “Sure what’s up?” 

“How do you know if you’re gay?” Geralt whispered Coen laughed a little watching Aiden slam his laptop shut his face was flushed with embarrassment or anger he wasn’t sure which. 

“Excuse me?” Aiden spat out in a hushed whisper. 

“Like, do you just know you’re into guys or do you choose that” Geralt mumbled, 

“You don’t choose that Geralt,” Coen groaned, “That’s a very bigotted way of looking at it.” 

“Why are you asking us this?” Aiden leaned in closer to Geralt so he could keep his voice down lower. 

“Coen is studying the topic and well your gay right?” Geralt frowned, 

“Oh. my. God. keep your fucking voice down,” Aiden growled, his eyes scanning the room for anyone he knows.

Coen chuckled “let’s go talk somewhere else.” Geralt nodded, watching the two of them putting their stuff away. 

“Let’s go” Aiden put his bag over his shoulder and grabbed Geralt by his jacket and led him out of the library and to one of the men’s bathrooms. Coen looked in all the stalls “Clear” Aiden locked the door behind them. 

“Okay, now you can talk” Aiden crossed his arms. 

“Why are you not out of the closet?” Geralt eyed Aiden, 

“Parents, teammates, keeping up appearances” Aiden leaned on one of the walls. “It’s just not the right time for me.” 

Geralt nodded, he was surprised he managed to get this far without vomiting his lunch on the floor “How did you know?” 

“I just always knew, Girls were never my thing ” Aiden smiled “too pretty for my taste.” 

Coen laughed in the background, “Geralt why do you want to know this?” 

Geralt looked down at his feet feeling his face get flushed, and his heart pounding in his ear. “There is...this guy” 

“Ohhh,” Coen and Aiden say in unison, “a guy” 

“I’m really confused because I’ve never felt like this before, never in my life have I ever felt like this” Geralt rambled, “I’ve always been told…” He swallowed hard feeling his throat hurt. 

“Geralt, fuck what people think. Don’t label yourself do what you fucking want” Coen patted Geralt’s shoulder. “Plus in college, everyone's a little bi-curious” 

Geralt took a deep breath, “What about you and Lambert?” Geralt looked at Aiden, seeing his eyes widened like Geralt was holding a gun to his head. 

“I'm sorry what?” Aiden shuttered on his words, “There is nothing between me and Lambert.” 

Both Coen and Geralt stared at him blankly “Right” Coen muttered. 

“I’m serious!” Aiden laughed nervously. 

“Righhhhhhhht” Coen continued, crossing his arms on his chest with a cocky smile. 

“Fine, we're screwing each other” Aiden sighed, “ And apparently we're not good at keeping it from people.” 

“See Bi-curious,” Coen said, smiling. 

“Don’t any of you say anything, Lambert will kill me” Aiden groaned, Coen nodded with a smile on his face “This is a safe space.” 

Geralt took a deep breath and slid down the wall to a sitting position. Thought’s swimming in his head about everything, his gut turning upside down. So it was okay to feel this way, but did he want to risk his life for this? Because if his mother found out...

Aiden and Coen sat down beside him, “Can I ask who it is?” Aiden nudged his knee into Geralt’s. 

“Jaskier, my roommate” Geralt choked out, his hands shaking uncontrollably. 

“Really? He’s your totally opposite” Coen looked surprised. 

“My mother always said opposites attract” Geralt smirked, just the thought of his mother made his anxiety worse, picturing her screaming at him or...he took another deep breath.

“He’s a nice guy, very forward.” Aiden chuckled, “Hey, why don’t you go to one of the LGBTQ meetings tomorrow night? Both Coen and I will be there and Jaskier.” Aiden nudged Geralt again, wiggling his eyebrows at him. 

“I don’t know…” Geralt swallowed, Was he ready for that? It took him two days to work up the courage to talk to these two let alone go to a whole meeting with people. 

“It’s safe there, you don’t even have to talk, you can just listen,” Coen rubbed Geralt’s back with his hand. 

“Why do you go, Coen?” Geralt asked, looking at him. 

“I’m what you could call Pansexual or how I like to say it ‘I don’t fucking give a shit whats in your pants’ But I like helping people with their problems mostly” Coen smiled. 

Geralt leaned his head back on the wall, “I’ll think about it.” 

*** * ***

Geralt was scrolling through his phone as he laid in bed, he was going to take a nap just to catch up on some lost sleep but couldn’t get his brain to shut off. Thinking about Jaskier’s warm lips, the smell of his sweet, flowery cologne. A message slid onto his screen. 

_ From: Coen _

_ Hey, are you coming tonight? _

_ Seen at 6:10 PM  _

“Shit” Geralt shot up, putting his shorts on. He had totally forgotten about the meeting tonight, he didn’t have time to talk himself up or out of doing this so it was a better time than ever to just go. He quickly shot a message back that he was on his way and grabbed his keys. 

Once he opened his door, Jaskier was in their little community area and jumped out of his skin “Bloody hell Geralt!!” He placed his hand over his own heart “You scared me.” 

“Are you going to the LGBTQ Meeting?” Geralt asked and Jaskier nodded, confused about the question. 

“Let’s go then” Geralt closed his door and went to put on his shoes, Jaskier stood there shocked. “Really?” 

“Yeah, hurry before I change my mind the anxiety hasn’t hit yet” Geralt muttered, opening the door. 

“Okay, okay, I’m coming” Jaskier smiled racing after him. Geralt was just trying to focus on Jaskier as they walked, maybe if he focused on him he wouldn’t get anxious or worried about what was going to happen at that meeting. 

“So, what’s with the sudden want to come?” Jaskier asked, 

“I’m working through stuff, and some friends said it might be helpful,” Geralt answered, looking down at Jaskier’s hand. He wished he had enough courage to hold his hand…

It took them about 20 minutes to get into one of the rooms in the school where it was hosted. A bunch of students were placing chairs in a circle and one of the girls looked right at him. Her curly chestnut red hair was pulled into a braid behind her head, Triss. He hadn’t seen her since graduation.

“Oh my god, Geralt!?” She ran into his arms, wrapping her arms around his neck. 

“Triss, hey” Geralt awkwardly mumbled, “How have you been?” 

“Good, how are you and Yen doing?” She asked, innocently. Geralt tensed up, his stomach twisted into a knot. 

“Uh…” Geralt swallowed the lump in his throat so he could breathe as his anxiety skyrocketed. “We broke up just before school ended, She didn’t tell you?” 

Triss got a heartbroken look in her eyes, “No, she didn’t…” 

“Wow, She didn’t even tell her best friend” Geralt clenched his teeth, fighting his body not to throw up. 

“What happened?” Triss asked, getting a glare from Jaskier the moment she started saying the words. 

Geralt didn’t want to think about it, it was the worst day of his whole life and that was saying something. Yennefer breaking up with him was the cherry on top of that whole day. 

“Geralt, you look paler then normal you should sit down” Jaskier put his hand on the small of his back. 

“I’m going to throw up” Geralt ran to the trash bin on the side of the room. 

“That bad huh?” Triss frowned, 

“I feel that way about my ex too” Aiden laughed, walked up to Geralt and rubbed his back as he emptied his stomach. It burned his throat like battery acid, but it was better than him crying in front of everyone right? Geralt rubbed his mouth with the back of his hand, coughing against the pain. 

“You okay man?” Aiden whispered, “You don’t have to stay.”   
Geralt shook his head, “I’m staying, Just wasn’t expecting my past to kick me in the nuts.” 

“That’s fair,” Aiden chuckled, as he tapped Geralt’s back “come sit down when you’re ready.” Aiden went and sat down, the taste of his own sickness in his mouth made him realize he still wasn’t over what happened. His mother coming back from a 3-day drug bender, beating him to near-death for some stupid reason. Him taking it out on Yennefer...

“Hey…” Jaskier’s hand slid onto his back, his other hand holding a water bottle “Here.” 

Geralt grabbed the bottle, rinsing out his mouth with it before taking a big, long drink of it. “Thanks,” 

Jaskier smiled that intoxicating smile, “No problem, anything for you” he winked at Geralt making his heart skip another beat. 

“Alright, let’s get started on today’s meeting.” 


	7. Chapter 7

Geralt sat down in the circle, Jaskier was on his right, Coen on his left. He was given a torn piece of paper, asked to write his biggest fear to be put in a hat and read aloud. It was some kind of ice breaker since there was someone new in the room. 

Geralt stared at it, unsure what to write since he had so many, some so small and some so big. Geralt was the last one to finish and he tossed it somehow hoping it would get lost or rip more so no one could read it. Geralt passed the hat back to Coen who started the ice breaker. 

Part of him felt bad for what he wrote but after what had gone on last week between him and Jaskier but it was a real fear he had about how things were going… even if it was an irrational one. 

“Can we all agree to stay in the circle until I’m done reading them all, and agree to keep the stories confidential within this group?” Coen asked, mixing up the papers in the hat. Geralt could see Aiden glared at Jaskier from across the circle making the environment uncomfortable.

“Okay. Remember to support your peers when you’re hearing their stories, and to notice how it feels when we’re hearing yours.” Coen took out a piece of the hat, passing it down to the next person beside him. He opened the folded paper and read it to himself before reading out loud to the group. 

“Not being able to figure out who I am” Coen started ripping the paper in his hands, “I think, that’s normal to feel that way but we’re also young you got a lot of time to figure that out.” He threw the bits of the pieces in the center of the circle.

The girl beside Coen grabbed the next one passing it down again reading out loud, “I’m scared to tell my best friend I have feelings for her.” The girl started to rip up the paper, Geralt’s eye’s wandering to Triss, her face flushed red. 

A smile crawled across his face, not really listening to what the next people had to say. A part of him was happy that Triss liked Yen, she would be able to give Yen what he couldn’t. 

“Oh, that one’s mine” Aiden whispered, grabbing another one from the hat. “I fear that no one will love me” Aiden ripped the piece of paper up, throwing in on the ground “Well maybe don’t be a dick to people.” 

Geralt watched Jaskier, awkwardly move in his seat like he wanted to just leave. Was that his?

“Aiden, be supportive” Coen sighed, 

They were nearing the end of the circle, Geralt’s still hadn’t been said which was just making his anxiety roar in his chest every time someone spoke. Triss was the next one to talk reading it quietly to herself first. 

“Getting outed by one of my peers made me realize how terrified I am of people finding out who I really am” Triss swallowed hard, “Well that’s just a little unfair, um…well, it always gets better…” she tore up the paper passing it down the hat to Jaskier who looked like he just got punched in the gut. Was that one from Aiden?

Jaskier cleared his throat, he just started reading it out loud without looking over it first. One of those had to be his. 

“I fear that he will see the scars left behind from my past when he…” Jaskier looked over at Geralt, swallowing hard trying to read it again “...inevitably forces himself into my pants.” 

Of course, it had to be Jaskier who read it, the world hated him. Maybe he should have lied about something or used his fear of crowds. Jaskier threw the paper on the ground “Pass” handing Geralt the hat without making eye contact with him. 

Did he make a mistake? 

Geralt grabbed the last piece of paper in the hat, it looked like Coen’s handwriting, big and blocky. “I fear for my closeted friends” Geralt mumbled, “it’s not your responsibility to keep everyone else heads above water.” 

“Alright, now we’re going around once more.” Coen grabbed the hat from Geralt and slid it under his chair. “You can talk about your fear if you're comfortable sharing it or if you connect with someone else or you can just pass.” 

“Geralt read mine, you had a good answer to my fear but that fear is also why I’m going into this field in the first place to help people like this.” Coen smiled a warm smile at Geralt. 

The girl next to Coen said there's something about drowning, most of the people all the way up to Aiden disclosed their fears, did that mean he was going to have to disclose his? 

“Mine was a peer outed me, I learned from a friend that someone told them when I never agreed to that, Turns out this is not a safe space.” Aiden sighed, 

“Well, we will have a talk about that later, make sure everyone understands the rules of this group” Triss spoke up, leaning forward in her chair. 

Geralt looked over at Jaskier, shifting in his seat again. He had to tell Aiden who told him it just seemed unfair to Aiden. Was it a bad call? He felt himself sweating a fuck ton he felt like he messed up this group big time just by being here, all of this was his fault right? 

“Abby read mine, I’m in love with my best friend and maybe I should tell her. Thanks” Triss blushed so hard her face almost matched her hair colour. Everyone in the room clapped, probably happy for her for disclosing that. Geralt knew he was pretty happy for her. 

Jaskier paused, looking around the room probably to gauge how people felt about him. “Aiden read mine, Thanks for the insight and uh…” Jaskier cleared his throat, “Sorry, I outed you. I just thought a friend would benefit from knowing there were other people like him to talk to who were struggling. Seems like I’ve made a lot of mistakes so...if it’s cool I’m going to leave after this.” 

“Sure…” Coen whispered, 

“I’m going to pass…” Geralt choked out, moments like this he wished he could just lit smoke in buildings. Jaskier stood up “See you guys later” Jaskier gave him a shy smile to Geralt and walked out. 

Geralt zoned out on the torn up pieces of paper on the floor, He didn’t know if it made him feel any better…

*** * ***

The rest of the meeting was really just talking about rules, events, and how everyone feels about things bothering them. Geralt didn’t speak the rest of the time, just listened, many of them having problems with their sexuality. Geralt didn’t feel alone for once… but the feeling of wanting this to end so he could smoke his problems away wouldn’t fade. 

After the meeting ended, Aiden walked with Geralt back to the dorm. “You know if Jaskier is---”   
“It’s just kissing, and it only happened once” Geralt mumbled, downplaying the amount.

“Still doesn’t make it right,” Aiden grabbed Geralt’s shoulder and stopped him from walking. “You can stay in my dorm tonight, You can sleep on the floor or I can get Lambert to give up his room and come sleep with me.” 

“It’s fine, seriously Aiden” Geralt sighed, pulling his pack of cigarettes out of his pocket. “I don’t think Jaskier means it like that, it’s just a fear I have okay? An irrational one.” 

Geralt lit a cigarette, holding the smoke in his mouth to taste the strong ashy flavour of it. 

Aiden shook his head, “Geralt, your boundaries matter and if Jaskier can’t respect them no matter how small it is...” 

“It’s not that I don’t want him to” Geralt blew smoke out of his nose “It’s just...confusing, more confusing every time he...exists.” 

“I really think you’re downplaying the whole he forcefully kissing you thing” Aiden frowned, his golden eyes showing worry for him. 

“Doesn’t kissing just happen? Like did you ask you know who if he wanted to make out before doing it?” Geralt took a drag off his cigarette. 

“Uh, yeah, I felt the tension between us for a while and I leaned in and asked him if he was okay with it, like a normal person!” Aiden talked a little louder than normal and coughed loudly, scanning around them but they were totally alone outside the building. 

“No one has ever done that with me.” Geralt groaned, 

“Wow, okay, I guess your parents never taught you…” Aiden was cut off by Geralt, 

“My mom was a drug addict who was never home and well my dad died before I was born, so I was never taught shit.” Geralt mumbled, blowing out smoke and flicking what was left onto the ground, why did he just say that so calmly to Aiden? He never disclosed that to anyone before. 

“Well, you’re staying in my dorm just for the night, Let’s go” Aiden grabbed Geralt back his jacket and led him inside the dorms. Both of them didn’t talk the whole walk up to the 3rd floor. Maybe, it was a good idea for him to be apart from Jaskier just for one night, maybe he could work through his thoughts.

Aiden unlocked his door, placing his keys on the counter “I’m back” He called out. 

Lambert came out of his room with a star stuck smile on his face, he went to lean in to kiss Aiden before seeing Geralt and playing it off as a handshake. “Hey man” 

Aiden chuckled, “Hey, Geralt is going to spend the night with us if that’s cool.” 

“Don’t care,” Lambert shrugged. 

Geralt took off his shoes and left them by the door, “We just have some studying for a class we're in together.” Aiden continued, He hadn’t let go of Lambert’s hand. Funny thing is he and Geralt didn’t share any classes so it was a horrible cover story.

“I’m not your fucking keeper” Lambert pulled his hand away, and started walking to his room. 

“Did you want to watch a movie with us first?” Aiden smirked, Probably trying to make up for something they already had planned. 

* * *

The three of them had spent 2 hours making a pillow fort in Aiden’s closet, grabbing every single blanket and pillow from both rooms pinning things to the wall to make the perfect tent. They were using Aiden’s Laptop to play a romantic comedy on Netflix. Lambert had fought it, wanting to watch something else but he caved the moment Aiden said ‘Pretty please’. 

Geralt had pushed himself up against the corner, trying to be far away from any of the other two guys in case it made them uncomfortable. Lambert had fallen asleep outstretched in the middle of the fort on his stomach, face buried into a pillow. Aiden had made popcorn but had eaten most of it himself, his left foot resting on Lambert’s back. 

Geralt thought it was sweet that even though they pretended not to be dating they were always still touching in some way. He even saw them holding hands while making Popcorn. It gave him a little bit of hope that maybe he one day could be that comfortable with Jaskier. 

Geralt’s phone went off, his text tone ringing loudly in the room. He slid it out of his pocket only getting a short look at the text from Jaskier before Aiden grabbed the phone from him and yeeted out of the fort. 

_ From: Roommate _

_ I’m really sorry...can we talk?  _

_ Seen at 11:33 PM _

“What the fuck!” Geralt shouted, 

“Nope!” Aiden frowned “This is a no Jaskier zone!” Aiden was trying not to laugh “Any phones will be yeeted to another plane of existence!” 

“Oh god, what did I wake up to?” Lambert groaned, turning his head to see them. 

“Well, Aiden just threw my phone away” Geralt growled, “which if it’s broken you’re buying me a new one.” 

“Deal,” Aiden held out his hand, Geralt clasped hands with him “Deal.” 

Lambert rolled his eyes, burying his face back into the pillow “You throw my phone out of here and I’ll break your legs” Lambert mumbled. 

Aiden rubbed Lambert’s back with his heel, “Try me.” 


	8. Chapter 8

Geralt had woken up first to the sun, poking its way through the draped sheets on the wall. They must have all fallen asleep in the pillow fort like children. He rolled over, seeing Aiden being spooned by Lambert who was snoring loudly. 

A smile crawled across his face as he crawled out of the fort, he had to find his phone. Once he found it on the other side of Aiden’s bed he looked it over, surprised not to find any dents or cracks on it. He went to power it on. 

Dead. 

Geralt let out a sigh, he should probably get back to his dorm, get ready for the gym...maybe talk to Jaskier. Geralt took a deep breath, Should he be mad at Jaskier? The way Aiden was talking he should be but he wasn’t... He just had this overwhelming need to stare into his eyes. 

Geralt walked to the door, sliding his shoes on. He will have to remember to text Aiden when he charged his phone and also to take his meds, the most important thing.

He walked out of the dorm, closing the door quietly behind himself and started making his way to his dorm down the hall. Aiden and Lambert’s dorm was only about 10 doors down from his and Jaskier’s so it didn’t take him long before he was at his door. 

Geralt unlocked it, seeing the main area empty. He slid off his shoes, walking up to his room’s door seeing it left ajar. Geralt forgot to lock his door a lot, Jaskier must have checked his room to see if he came home last night. 

“Geralt?” Jaskier’s voice came from behind him, rough and aching. Geralt turned to see him, dressed in a silk robe, his eyes puffy and red. 

“Hey…” Geralt swallowed hard, 

“You didn’t come back last night…” Jaskier rubbed his nose with the back of his hand. “I was worried…” 

“I spent the night at Aidens, and my phone died” Geralt leaned on the wall.

“Ah, Okay...” Jaskier nodded, “can we talk later?” 

“We can talk now if you want” Geralt felt his heart rate spike, pounding in his chest. He wanted to get it out of the way, he had been worrying about it all night.

Jaskier looked at the time on microwave, and sighing “I have class...uh” 

“I don’t have class until 3” Geralt mumbled, 

“Shit, that’s when I’m done all of mine” Jaskier looked let down, exhausted, defeated.

“After then” Geralt gave him a small smile and turned to go into his room.

Jaskier called out “I’m sorry...after we talk can we, you know, start from the beginning again?”

Geralt looked back at him, staring into his blue eyes that were bloodshot probably from crying. He nodded and hummed in agreement.

* * *

The clicking of weights hitting each other filled the room, The smell of sweat hung in the air like a thick musk. Geralt was standing over Eskel spotting him as he did a chest press. “Halfway there,” Geralt mumbled, getting his hands in the right spot to aid him when he needed it. Eskel groaned as he pushed the bar up again, “Fuck.” 

His next set was a struggle as he pushed it up, muscles shaking. Geralt grabbed the bar with a gentle grip and guided it back into its holder. 

“Fuck, so close” Eskel sat up, rubbing the sweat off his forehead. 

“Progress nonetheless” Geralt passed Eskel his water bottle and he took a big drink. 

“One more set each then we're done here” Eskel smiled, “Ready?” 

Geralt hummed, taking Eskel’s spot on the bench and laying down, Eskel standing over him. He gripped the bar making sure he had a good stance, Geralt dropped it down, getting through the first 6 reps no problem. 

“Jeez, showing me up” Eskel chuckled, Geralt could feel the burn in his chest and shoulders as he pushed up again. Struggling through and barely pushing it back upon his 10th rep. 

Eskel guided the bar back up “that was good” he leaned down on the bar resting his weight on it.

Geralt laid there out of breath, his muscles aching. “So, Lambert told me you spent the night at his and Aiden’s place,” Eskel stated.

Geralt let out a sigh, “yeah and?” 

“Everything okay?” Eskel probed, looking down at Geralt. 

“Yes, why does everyone think something is wrong?” Geralt sat up, grabbing the water bottle on the ground and taking a drink. 

Eskel frowned, “because you went from spending a lot of time with Jaskier to none at all” 

“Were fine, you going to do your last set or are we going to keep talking about this?” Geralt growled out as he stood up. 

Eskel sighed “Fine,” switching spots with Geralt, starting his set off strong. 

“I don’t know why all of you are so worried” Geralt mumbled, watching him from up above. 

“Because your like fucking family” Eskel groaned as he pushed the bar back up. Geralt froze when he said that, he had only known this guy for a little over a month and he was grouped in as family? They barely knew anything about him.

“Geralt a little help” Eskel struggled with his last rep, Geralt snapped out of it guiding the bar back up. 

“I almost died” Eskel laughed, 

“Drama queen” Geralt smirked, “I’m going to take a shower at the dorm then I have to get to class.” 

“You’re probably going to be late, why don’t you take a shower in the locker room?” Eskel walked to the men’s locker room with Geralt, grabbing his stuff in one of the lockers. 

“Makes me uncomfortable” Geralt grabbed his bag out of his locker, “I’ll see you later.”

* * *

It was just after his 3 pm class, the sun was close to setting, giving this orange and pink glow in the sky, and Geralt was exhausted. He had a baseline pressure in his chest from his anxiety running through everything that could happen when Jaskier and he talked. 

When he walked into the dorm, Jaskier was laying on the cold hard floor of their kitchen eating a popsicle. Geralt gave him a weird look “You okay?” 

“There’s one in the freezer for you,” Jaskier added, avoiding the question as he placed the popsicle in his mouth. 

“Okay?” Geralt dropped his bag on the ground and opened the freezer, grabbing the banana popsicle out of the door. When Jaskier said he wanted to start over did he mean literally? 

Geralt slid the popsicle out of its plastic bag and laid down beside Jaskier. 

“Welcome to my office” Jaskier mumbled, “How was class?” 

“Draining,” Geralt placed the popsicle into his mouth, feeling the ice-cold tickle on his tongue. 

“I’m sorry…” Jaskier choked out, “I’m sorry that I’m a spoiled rich kid who has never been told no in his life.” 

Geralt looked at him, caught off guard by Jaskier’s sudden jump into serious mode. 

“We don’t pick where we come from” Geralt swallowed hard, 

“No, but…” Jaskier rolled over propping himself on his elbow “I should have respected the line in the sand you drew.” 

“You’re getting all poetic” Geralt smirked, getting lightly slapped in the arm by Jaskier. 

“I’m trying to be serious!” Jaskier frowned, the tears that had welled up in his eyes slid down his face and he quickly wiped them away. “I just...I was an asshole, and I should have let you deal with things without me pressuring you and..” Jaskier swallowed down the lump in his throat, “I shouldn’t have forced my tongue down your throat, I just wanted you to pick me so bad...but” 

“Jaskier,” Geralt rolled over to face him, biting another piece of his popsicle. “All you guys are making this worse than it is” 

Jaskier narrowed his eyes at Geralt “Your biggest fear was me forcing myself onto you, because of actions I did before.” 

“Anxiety does crazy things” Geralt rolled back onto his back. 

“Don’t downplay your emotions to make me feel better” Jaskier sat up, his popsicle leaking yellow liquid onto the floor. 

Geralt took a deep breath, feeling it burn across his chest, he hated heavy conversations like this he would much rather things to just move on so he didn’t have to talk about it but he did agree to talk about it... 

“Can we just stop talking about this” Geralt sighed “all is forgiven or whatever” 

Jaskier stared down at Geralt for a little while, fighting with his tears. 

“We can just restart as you said, and just be friends.” Geralt stared up at the ceiling “And when I’m ready for more, I will tell you.” 

Geralt heard Jaskier exhale loudly, “Okay.” 

“Okay,” Geralt repeated.

The two of them sat quietly, finishing off their popsicles, Geralt wanted to fill the silence with something but he didn’t know what to say that would make this less awkward. Geralt sat up, his eyes meeting Jaskier’s, his heart aching as it finally got the fix it craved. 

“Is it okay if I hug you?” Jaskier shyly smiled, speaking with such softness Geralt almost didn’t hear him.

“Mhmm” Geralt lightly nodded before Jaskier slid himself into Geralt’s arms, moulding their chest’s against each other. Geralt felt his face get hot as he slowly warped his arms around Jaskier holding his smaller frame against him. Jaskier’s smell hit him like a wave on a stormy sea. 

Geralt didn’t want to let him go, even with everything, with his confused feelings and the burn in his lungs, his fears that clouded over him. 

He knew he wanted this to work out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fanfic went from having set chapters to now unknown, I hope everyone is enjoying this tale of misfits so far!


	9. Chapter 9

The days had started getting cooler but today was coldest, it wasn’t below 0 but definitely wasn’t in the double digits. Geralt had been working on his report for psych since it was due in 2 weeks. Jaskier had lent Geralt his laptop as he was doing some  screenwriting project by hand. 

The two of them were laying in Geralt’s bed, books filling the spaces between them. Jaskier had his fluffy green blanket over him, covering his head. He looked like a little old lady as he wrote things down in his notebook laying on his stomach.

“What is another word for envy?” Jaskier bit down on the end of his pen. 

“Jealous?” Geralt raised an eyebrow to Jaskier. things had been better between the two of them over the last few days but Geralt still heard Jaskier cry most nights. Probably because of the guilt he feels. 

“Ehhh…” Jaskier frowned, “sounds too simple.” 

“I’m a simple guy,” Geralt leaned over to one of the books. He was doing his research paper on physical attraction, for selfish reasons. It gave him an excuse to spend time exploring things for himself as well as getting homework done. 

“Spite” Jaskier mumbled, “How does that sound?” 

“I’d need to hear the whole sentence” Geralt looked up from the book, catching Jaskier’s blue eyes glowing from the light coming from the window. 

“Envy, after all, comes from wanting something that isn't yours.” Jaskier recited, “Or Spite, after all, comes from wanting something that isn’t yours.” 

“I’d keep envy, what are you writing anyway?” Geralt leaned closer to Jaskier looking over his shoulder to see what he was writing. 

“Rewriting a screenplay for Perfect Match” Jaskier looked over at him smiling.

“Isn’t that a movie already?” Geralt looked confused before Jaskier tapped him on the forehead with the pen “That’s why I said rewriting.” 

Geralt smiled, moving back to his books. 

“What are you writing about?” Jaskier rested his chin into the palm of his hand. 

“Physical attraction, Have you ever heard of the  halo effect?” Geralt didn’t look up from the book but could feel Jaskier’s eyes on him. 

“No, but I’m listening,” Jaskier’ purred with interest. 

“It’s the idea that people who are judged to be attractive are typically perceived in a positive light.” Geralt read from the book, “It’s found that attractive people are consistently rated as successful, kind and sociable when compared with unattractive people.it’s like we expect them to have other desirable characteristics.” 

“Wow, that is the most you have ever spoken to me.” Jaskier mocked, 

Geralt looked up from his book, narrowing his eyes at Jaskier. He was right through, Geralt barely talked. 

“But I guess that makes sense, the world hands everything to you on a silver platter if you're good looking,” Jaskier mumbled.

“Like you,” Geralt raised his eyebrow up, and Jaskier blushed, wrinkling his nose. “You think I’m good looking?”

“That’s what you took away from that?” Geralt chuckled standing up from their nest of books, “Smoke Break.” 

“But, it’s so cold” Jaskier rolled over onto his back wrapping the blanket more around himself like a little burrito.

“You don’t have to come,” Geralt grabbed his sweater and threw it on, 

“But who will keep you company?” Jaskier pouted, making Geralt’s heartache. 

“I think I’ll live without your company,” Geralt tapped Jaskier’s calf as he walked around the bed to his desk to grab his pack of smokes and lighter. 

“Blasphemy!” Jaskier jumped to his feet, spreading his blanket out like bat wings. Why was Jaskier just so unbearably adorable? Geralt found himself smiling widely, staring at Jaskier’s dramatic expression. 

“Just don’t explain it’s cold” 

Literally the second they got outside Jaskier said he was cold, even with his fluffy blanket wrapped around his shoulders. The wind was chilly but wasn’t as bad as the winters could get in Canada. 

Geralt lit a cigarette, trying to be careful about not blowing the smoke anywhere near Jaskier. Geralt looked at Jaskier as he was shivering as the wind blew his hair out of place. His nose and cheeks are already turning a light shade of pink. 

“Is smoking this important to you?” Jaskier shuttered, 

“Addiction trumps comfort.” Geralt placed the cigarette back into his mouth taking a long drag off of it, he felt bad for Jaskier even though it was his fault for following him. 

“It’s bloody freezing,” Jaskier complained again. 

“Come here,” Geralt held his arm out waving for him to come closer. 

A shocked expression crawled across Jaskier’s face. Geralt surprised himself as well, not thinking he would be comfortable with another hug so soon but watching Jaskier freeze his ass off for him, just to spend time with him; Really sparked the need to do something. 

“You sure?” Jaskier asked, “Like 100% sure, like I am in no way pressuring you for bodily contact sure?” 

“Jaskier,” Geralt sighed, 

“Okay, okay” Jaskier walked up close to Geralt wrapping his arms around his waist. Geralt placed his cigarette into his mouth as he warped both of his arms around Jaskier, rubbing back to warm him up. The sweet smell of Jaskier’s cologne hit Geralt hard, making his whole body heat up.

“Better?” Geralt mumbled, 

Jaskier rested his face on Geralt’s shoulder, “Yeah, You sure this is okay?” 

“Jaskier,” Geralt pulled the cigarette out of his mouth, tilting his head back to blow the smoke away from Jaskier. Flicking the ashes on to the ground, Jaskier’s warm body against him was nice but wait, were people watching them? Geralt’s heart rate skyrocketed as he scanned around seeing some people walking around the outside of the dorm, no one paying them much mind. Jaskier being dressed as a blanket burrito probably made him look pretty genderless from afar. 

“Have I ever said I’m glad you’re still my friend,” Jaskier mumbled into Geralt’s shoulder. 

“Many times, in the last 24 hours,” Geralt chuckled, taking another drag off his smoke. It was nearly burned out, the bitterness lingering in his mouth. 

“Well, I’m glad you gave me a second chance.” Jaskier hummed, rubbing his face on Geralt’s sweater then making a small sound of disguise. “You smell like smoke.” 

“That will happen,” Geralt flicked the burnout bud onto the ground and crushed it with the heel of his shoe. “Alright, I’m done.” 

Jaskier gave a small whine of protest but still pulled away from Geralt. Fixing his blanket around him. “Back upstairs then?” 

Geralt nodded, “So you stop complaining.” Geralt scanned around again, feeling uncomfortable. He didn’t want people to think he was gay before he even knew he was himself. Geralt walked back inside with Jaskier, Trying to stop his thoughts from rolling through his brain. It was just a hug. 

“You okay?” Jaskier asked as they climbed the stairs back to their dorm.

“Yeah,” Geralt let out a breath, “What if people saw us?” 

“It was a hug Geralt, I can easily cover you if someone talks about it.” Jaskier smiled at him, “I could say, I fell or you were helping with my lines for some class project.” 

“Thanks…” Geralt felt a little better, a little safer. 

“After everything I did, it’s the least I can do.” Jaskier pushed open their door, letting Geralt go in first. 

Geralt walked back to his bed, climbing carefully over his books and Jaskier’s. Jaskier was the opposite and just flopped down onto the bed causing a few things to fall off. 

“Opps,” Jaskier whispered, Geralt rolled his eyes and picked up one of the things they fell placing it back onto the bed. 

“So, the research you're doing is it helping at all?” Jaskier resting his face in his palm. 

“I don’t know yet,” Geralt pulled the laptop onto his lap, typing up a few sentences about the Halo effect. 

The two of them worked in silence for a while. only the sounds of the keyboard clicking and pen against paper filled the room. Jaskier’s phone went off, buried in his notebook. His ringtone was a doorbell, Geralt was always surprised it wasn’t more dramatic. 

“Hmm, you want to go to a party tonight?” Jaskier asked, staring at his phone. 

“Not really,” Geralt sighed, He hadn’t been to a party since the welcoming one Jaskier dragged him to. 

“Okay,” Jaskier slid his phone back behind his notebook. 

“You’re not going?” Geralt asked, putting the Laptop down beside him. 

“Not if you’re not going” Jaskier looked over at Geralt, biting on the end of his pen. 

“Why? You like parties” Geralt frowned, “You should go if you want to.” 

“I really don’t trust myself to not get drunk and sleep with some guy” Jaskier chuckled, “Better I stay here and behave.” 

“We're not dating, you can do what you want.” Geralt sighed, running his fingers through his hair. He didn’t want to be the reason Jaskier didn’t go and have fun. 

Jaskier rolled onto his back with his hand over his heart “OH that hurts.” 

Geralt gave him a weird look, crossing his arms on his chest. 

“Take that back! It hurts to greatly” Jaskier whined, rolling around on the bed. 

“I don’t want to be the reason you don’t have fun,” Geralt replied, amused with Jaskier’s dramatic attitude.

Jaskier stopped and narrowed his eyes at Geralt, “I’m not going to make you uncomfortable again and last time I bought someone here you got uncomfortable.”

Geralt’s chest ached as he let out a shaky breath, he would never get used to people caring about him. 


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING: Talk of Past Ab*se!

The sound of rain tapped on the window, echoing through the walls, Crackling thunder came after the calm flashes of light. Geralt hadn’t slept very much, not because of the rain but because of his blood pumping in his veins as fast as rapids. 

He had a nightmare that had triggered him, causing his body to spiral into the void of neverending panic. His face was wet with tears, his breath shaky. His nightmare had been about that night, the night his mother came home. Ranting that he couldn’t leave her if he couldn’t walk. 

Geralt rolled over onto his side, eyeing his pill bottles on his nightstand, did he really need to take one? The burning in his chest said yes but the fear of being numb screamed no. 

Should he wake Jaskier? Did he want to talk to him about this? Geralt rubbed the run away tears that had fallen, his eyes were raw and sore as this had been going on for hours. The flashbacks came and went in waves, blinding him with fear and pain but also shame. A guy of his size should have been able to stop a woman that weighed half his body weight but he didn’t. 

Geralt wondered what other parent’s reactions to their kids going away for college would have been. Proud? Were Jaskier’s parents proud of him getting into this school? Geralt couldn’t picture his mother ever being proud of him. It was always about her and the one time it wasn’t she tried to drive a screwdriver into his back. 

Geralt sat up, hyperventilating from crying so hard, god he was probably going to wake Jaskier up. A part of him wanted it to but the other part didn’t want Jaskier to see him in his weak state again. Thunder clapped in the background, shaking the walls of his room nearly masking the sound of the knock at his door. 

“Geralt, are you alright?” Jaskier’s voice came muffled from the other side of the door. Geralt was too winded to answer because every time he inhaled air his body would use it to power more sobs. 

“Geralt?” Jaskier pushed his door open, Geralt forgot to lock it again, of course. “Hey, hey.” Jaskier rushed over to Geralt’s bedside, sitting down on the edge. Geralt reached out for comfort, entangling his arms around Jaskier, feeling the silk robe on his flesh. 

“What happened?” Jaskier wrapped his arms around Geralt, rubbing his back. 

Geralt just let out a sob, burying his face into Jaskier’s neck, breathing in his smell hoping it would calm him and stop the images.

“You’re okay, you’re safe” Jaskier whispered, trying to comfort him. “Did you already take something for this?” 

Geralt shook his head, inhaling a deep breath that burned its way through his lungs as he exhaled it into deep sobs. Jaskier reached back for one of the bottles, reading the front of it. Probably trying to remember from last time which one he gave him. 

Geralt didn’t want to be numb but also didn’t want to feel everything at once. Did normal people have that middle ground? 

“I’m going to get you some water, okay?” Jaskier went to pull away but Geralt’s grip on him was strong. 

“No,” Geralt cried out, tightening his grip on Jaskier. He didn’t want him to leave his side, not even for a second. 

“Geralt, this is going to help more than I can at this point” Jaskier mumbled into Geralt’s ear, using his free hand to rub his back. Jaskier was right, coming down from this level of panic was hard. It could take hours like it already had. 

But he didn’t want to let him go, his form moulded against his and stopped him from shaking. 

“Come with me” Jaskier guided Geralt up to his feet, steadying him as Geralt put most of his weight on Jaskier. Still entangled in his arms. 

“Come on you got this” Jaskier backed up slowly, walking the two of them to the kitchen. Jaskier backed himself up to the counter, reaching back to grab a cup out of the cupboard. 

“Okay,” Jaskier whispered. “I’m going to need to turn around, but you can still hold on okay?” 

Geralt loosens his grip a bit letting Jaskier turn around. Geralt rested his face back on Jaskier’s shoulder, feeling another wave of memories of him in the hospital. His mother had just missed his spine thankfully but still caused enough damage for him to need surgery. He was lucky they told him that he hadn’t broken any bones from his ‘fall’. They knew his mother lied that something else happened. 

“Hey, hey,” Jaskier turned back to face him, holding Geralt’s face in his hands. “You’re okay,” he repeated. Geralt tried to fix his eye on Jaskier’s deep blue eyes but found himself sobbing again. 

“Darling, you’re going to need to take your meds okay?” Jaskier guided Geralt beside him, never removing contact from him. Geralt steadied himself on the counter, one of his arms still hooked on Jaskier’s waist. Jaskier poured a pill into Geralt’s hand and handed over the glass of water after Geralt put the pill in his mouth. 

Geralt took it, washing it down with the cold water trying to get it through his sore throat. Everything hurt, all his muscles ached, his chest burned but when he looked at Jaskier to see that encouraging smile. He felt maybe he would be okay. 

“Do you want to go back to your room?” Jaskier asked, rubbing his hand down Geralt’s back. Geralt shook his head, he didn’t want to smell the smoke that stuck to his sheets. The bitter smell that made the memories flow harder. 

“Okay, you can sleep in my room.” Jaskier guided Geralt to his room, “I’ll sleep in yours okay?” 

“No,” Geralt groaned, as Jaskier sat him down on the edge of the bed. Jaskier stared at Geralt with sleepy eyes, “You sure?” 

Geralt nodded, wiping his eyes with his hands, feeling the heat that pooled there. Jaskier climbed into the bed. Keeping one hand on Geralt at all times, Geralt laid down beside Jaskier. He could already feel the effects of the medication easing his heart rate, slowing his breathing. 

“You okay?” Jaskier pulled the blankets over the two of them, his sheets were soft and smelled of fresh flowers, better than his rough ash smelling sheets. Geralt stared at the ceiling, waiting for the wave of numbness to hit him. 

Jaskier’s hand rested on his chest, his eyes slowly closing for longer after every blink. 

“You can sleep Jaskier,” Geralt groaned, his throat aching with every word. Jaskier exhaled softly “I’m okay.”

“You look exhausted,” Geralt placed his hand onto Jaskier’s, the meds were starting to make him tired as his hate rate slowed to normal speed. 

“You look exhausted,” Jaskier mocked, smiling softly into his pillow as his eye’s shut. 

Geralt sighed, he must think he is weak. 

*** * ***

When Geralt woke up the following morning, Jaskier was getting dressed in his flamboyant colours and tight skinny jeans. Geralt never knew how he got into them every day. 

Geralt rolled on his side and watched him button his shirt, and tuck it into his jeans. Jaskier looked back at him with that stunning smile, “Good morning sleepy head.” 

“Morning,” Geralt spoke softly, “You going to class?” 

“Yeah, but I’ll be back here by one,” Jaskier zipped his pants up, grabbing a pair of shoes out of his closet. “You should probably stay home today.” 

Geralt would probably have to get notes from Eskel for psych and email his professors but it was a good idea to take the day to sleep.

“Yeah…” Geralt let out a sign, “hey...I’m so-”

“Hey, you don’t have to be sorry for anything,” Jaskier sat at the end of the bed, sliding his shoes on. “I’ll be here for you, okay?” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, this one was shorter than normal! it's a heavy one.


	11. Chapter 11

Geralt has been forced to go Halloween shopping with the gang, Jaskier and his sister had tagged along in hopes to find stuff for the party they were throwing. Geralt promised he would go at least for an hour just to make an appearance which pleased Jaskier.

“This is stupid,” Lambert whispered, arms folded on his chest. “I thought Halloween was just for kids?”

Geralt shrugged, there was only one year he went out trick or treating with his mother, the one year she was sober for Halloween. “It’s just a little bit of fun,” Geralt hummed. 

“It’s childish,” Lambert growled, leaning back on the wall behind him. 

Geralt smiled, as he watched Jaskier and his sister parading around the store throwing ideas at each other for the theme. 

“How about we all go as pirates?” Aiden mumbled.

“Lame,” Eskel looked so serious as he scanned the wall of costumes. 

“I will kill myself before we do a group costume,” Lambert sighed, 

“Dude we’re going together even if we have to drag your ass there.” Aiden frowned, Coen slowly came out of one of the Aisles wearing a top hat and big shades “Hear me out gangsters.” 

“No,” Geralt groaned, the last thing he wanted was to be his mother for Halloween. 

“How about a biker gang?” Aiden added, “We could buy leather jackets, it’s a costume Lambert won’t moan about.” 

Eskel thought about it for a moment, “We would have to think of a name.” 

“Well, oddly enough we all have the same eye colour so it will be easy.” Coen was putting the hat and glasses back in their spots. 

“Coincidence! I think not!” Jaskier jumped out from one of the aisles landing beside Lambert, scaring the living hell out of him. Geralt didn’t think Lambert could make that high pitch of a scream, it had everyone roaring with laughter. 

“God! Why did you bring him!?” Lambert’s face was bright red with embarrassment. 

“That was the cutest thing ever!” Aiden wheezed out between laughs.

Jaskier looked pleased with himself, torturing Lambert as much as he tortured him was one of his favourite past times. After the laughter quieted down Jaskier continued with his thought “Maybe you guys are secretly brothers?” 

“OH! Long lost brothers brought back together by destiny!” Priscilla added in leaning on her brother’s back. 

“I never knew my parent’s” Eskel started with a cocky smirk, 

“Mine died in a car crash when I was young.” Coen leaned on one of the shelves, 

“My old man was an asshole, got himself locked up for killing my mother.” Lambert leaned back up the walk, looking at Geralt who was shocked they all just said that outright. He didn’t want to be rude by not saying anything, this was a safe space, right?

Geralt took a deep breath, “My father is dead and I honestly don’t know where my mother is.” Jaskier’s face looked heartbroken, listening to all of them just push it off like it was not a big deal. 

“Well, that settles that, we’re just sad not brothers” Aiden snorted, Aiden was the only one of this a ‘normal’ family, but they had their own problems. Aiden looked right at Geralt doing a fake gag. Yeah, it would have been weird for him and Lambert if they were brothers…

“Just an idea,” Jaskier smiled trying to hide his regret of asking, “but if you’re doing those leather jackets my sister and I can paint the back of them with logos for you.” 

“You would do that? Sounds like a lot of work” Eskel looked at Jaskier, confused but thankful. 

“Yeah, just you all have to get them to me by Wednesday for them to be done by Friday night.” Jaskier winked at Eskel, “Just tell me what you guys want on them.” 

“We need a name first, It’s gotta be badass,” Eskel smirked, 

“Wouldn’t settle for anything else” Priscilla giggled, “but if you guys want reusable jackets I’d go to a second-hand store.” 

“Good idea,” Coen smiled, “Any around here?” 

“Down the street, value village” Jaskier chimed in, pointing in the direction. 

“Alright, let’s go!” Aiden cheers, pushing Eskel forward. 

“I’m going to stay here to give them a hand” Geralt moved out of everyone’s way as they passed by “Just get me a jacket if you can find one and I’ll pay you guys back later.” 

“Sounds good,” Aiden winked at him as he pushed Lambert to the door. Geralt’s face was flushed, and hot. 

“Well, you can help us with a theme,” Jaskier purred “Any ideas?”

“I’m just going to add that any theme you pick will also be our costumes so please be easy on us.” Priscilla walked back into the aisle she uses to be in. 

Geralt shrugged “I don’t know,” 

Jaskier smiled, “Well that’s okay.” he walked up closer to Geralt, his smile fading, “You doing okay?” he whispered. 

Geralt nodded “Mhmm,” 

Jaskier had been keeping a close eye on him since his break down. It felt unusual to have so many people care about him at one time. Eskel had managed to sweet-talk his way into getting notes for every one of Geralt’s classes he missed that day. Coen, Aiden and Lambert had brought him lunch and had spent time with him until Jaskier came back from class. 

“Good…” Jaskier nodded a few times, looking at the ground. 

“You okay?” Geralt whispered as he reached for Jaskier’s hand lacing his fingers with his. 

“Yeah,” Jaskier’s smile returned, his face turning a light pink. 

“Hey! What about the outsiders? Like as a theme?” Priscilla called out. Jaskier pulled his hand away the moment he heard her voice, turning away from Geralt. 

“The Greasers and the Socs?” Jaskier asked, walking to his sister with Geralt close behind. 

“Yeah, it would go with the boy’s theme” Priscilla nodded, “Geralt, text Eskel the idea please.” 

Geralt did as he was told, and Eskel replied with a ‘FUCK YES’ Geralt didn’t even know what The Outsiders were, was it a movie or something? 

“I guess that would make us the Socs right?” Jaskier smiled, starting to look excited about the whole thing. 

“He’s down...uh, is that movie?” Geralt asked and the two of them looked at him with murder eyes. 

“It’s a book, as well as a movie but you haven’t heard of any of them?” Jaskier gasped, Geralt shook his head.

“I will change that.” 

*** * ***

  
  


Jaskier had kept his promise, he lent the book to Geralt. It was a small but powerful book Geralt had been reading it for hours unable to put it down since they got back to the dorm. 

“Alright, bedtime Geralt” Jaskier grabbed the book for him, adding a bookmark into the pages. 

“Jaskier!” Geralt tried to grab it from him but he threw it on the ground. 

“It’s 2 in the morning, we both need sleep” Jaskier smiled, getting under the covers. The two of them had been sleeping in Jaskier’s bed together the past few nights. Geralt couldn’t bring himself to sleep alone. 

“I’m glad you’re liking it through” Jaskier reached over Geralt to turn the light off. 

“Hmm, I see a lot of myself in those characters” Geralt laid down, feeling Jaskier’s arms wrap around him. 

“I figured,” Jaskier yawned, placing his head on Geralt’s chest. Night cuddles with Jaskier were all he was comfortable with which Jaskier was respecting to a point. He got boner’s often and would have to leave ‘to go to the bathroom’ Geralt felt bad about it… 

“Jaskier?” Geralt whispered, 

“Hmm?” Jaskier tightened his arms around him.

“Would you want to go on a date with me?” Geralt rubbed Jaskier’s arm, trying to keep his courage up. He hadn’t figured out his feelings, but he knew for sure that he wanted Jaskier in his life. The comfort he gave him was something he would kill for. 

“Like a real date!?” Jaskier shot up, nearly shouting. “Like, dinner and a movie kind of date?” 

“Yeah?” Geralt chuckled, he wasn’t able to fully see Jaskier’s face but knew he was probably smiling ear to ear. 

“Um, yes, a 1000% yes” Jaskier leaned down, his lips brushing the side of Geralt’s, Geralt tensed up before he pulled away. “Sorry, too much, I just got excited” Jaskier backed away. “Sorry…” 

“It’s okay,” Geralt pulled Jaskier back down for a cuddle, entangling his arms around him. “Just this for now okay?” 

Jaskier nodded into his chest, “Okay.” Jaskier was silent for a while before asking “When do you want to do this date?” 

“Tomorrow night? I think we’re both free.” Geralt ran his fingers along Jaskier’s soft skin, feeling the man shiver against his touch.

“Yeah, that sounds good,” Jaskier smiled against Geralt’s skin. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this is giving people a little bit of a break from the craziness that is going on in the world.   
> Please be safe and informed...  
> #BLM


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning: Talk of Past Ab*se.

Geralt had woken up in the middle of the night hyperventilating, he was hit by another wave of panic. Another nightmare, another memory. He hated this, this PTSD pulling him back. It had been getting worse and happening more often. 

He sat up, pulling himself away from Jaskier’s grip. Having problems breathing as tears flowed from his eyes, like hot spring water. 

“Ger?” Jaskier rolled on to his back, groaning as he stretched. 

Geralt placed his head into his hands, sobbing, heavy breathing. “Hey,” Jaskier sat up, reaching to turn on the light. “Another nightmare?” Jaskier wrapped his arms around him. God, he was happy Jaskier was at arm’s length. 

Geralt nodded, gasping for air as his body used the air breathed into straight fire. 

“Okay, breathe,” Jaskier rubbed Geralt’s back “Your okay.” 

“It hurts,” Geralt stuttered, 

“I know, but you’re safe now,” Jaskier whispered. Geralt entangled his arms around him, crying hard into his shoulder. 

Jaskier hummed a lullaby into his shoulder, letting Geralt not only hear him but feel it. Geralt tried to focus on Jaskier, trying to slow his breathing, trying to calm himself before he was gone too far. 

Jaskier continued to rub his back, humming the tune until Geralt stopped crying, and shaking. “You’re okay” Jaskier repeated again. Geralt held on to Jaskier for a while, he never wanted to lose him. Even if that was a selfish thought, this relationship was too important to him. 

“I’m sorry…” Geralt whispered, 

“Hey, Hey, No apologizing” Jaskier looked up, putting Geralt’s face into his hands.

“You don’t have to do this for me…” Geralt looked into Jaskier’s kind, blue eyes. 

“You’re important to me,” Jaskier smiled, “Okay?” 

Geralt nodded, It was nice to know that Jaskier felt the same way. “Okay,” Geralt repeated, slowly laying him and Jaskier back down. “You’re important to me too.” 

Jaskier cuddled up to Geralt, smiling into his chest “Good to know.” 

Geralt turned off the light before lacing his fingers into Jaskier’s hair, playing in his silky brown hair as Jaskier slowly fell back to sleep. Geralt didn’t want to go back to sleep in fear he would see her face again. The anger in her eyes the moment Geralt passed her his acceptance letter. 

He’s happy Jaskier never asked about why he had these attacks, he never wanted Jaskier to know about his past because it didn’t matter anymore. Geralt pressed his lips to Jaskier’s forehead, breathing in his scent like sweet honey. 

*** * ***

The sun poked its way above the horizon coming through the window with golden rays. Geralt hadn’t slept, he was too scared to close his eyes. Jaskier shifted in his sleep finally freeing Geralt’s arm, blood pooling back into his hand. He pulled away getting out of the bed. His body ached, every muscle was like a heavy rock. 

“Where are you going?” Jaskier called, his voice rough from sleep. 

“I’m going to shower,” Geralt looked back at Jaskier who looked sad all by himself. 

“Can I come?” Jaskier smiled making Geralt blush hard, heat spreading through his chest. 

Jaskier chuckled, “I’m kidding unless you really want me to go.” 

“Not yet,” Geralt quickly walked out of the bedroom. He wished he could just be comfortable with all this stuff faster. He wanted to kiss Jaskier, find his way back into his mouth that tasted so sweet. He wanted to see Jaskier naked, see every inch of skin but he was terrified. 

Geralt closed the door behind himself, turning on the shower, leaving it as cold as he could handle before undressing. Looking at his back in the mirror, seeing the rough, pink scars in the middle of his back on the right of his spine. His mother had stabbed him twice, he nearly lost one of his kidneys and now it was the reason he always wore a shirt to bed. 

He let out a sigh, walking into the shower feeling the ice-cold water knock the wind out of him. He needed it so his body would wake up so Jaskier could finally have a day that was about him, He deserved it.

Geralt stood under the water, leaning his body weight on his hand so his head was under the rain flow. Staring at the cigarette burn marks on the inside of his thighs, where his mother used him as an ashtray as a child. 

Was Jaskier going to still think he was beautiful after he saw these scars?

Geralt stood in the shower for 5 minutes before getting out, drying off and tying the towel around his waist. When he walked out to get to his room to change Jaskier called out. “Hey, your phone is going off like crazy.” 

“You can look at it, it’s probably one of the guys,” Geralt started getting dressed waiting for Jaskier to say something. He was just putting on his shirt when Jaskier walked in with a worried look on his face. 

“What?” Geralt grunted, walking up to him. 

“Aiden said Lambert didn’t come back to the dorms last night. Something about them getting into a fight then Lambert leaving to cool off.” Jaskier handed Geralt his cellphone. 

“Did he call Eskel?” Geralt looked over the text messages, seeing 10 just from Aiden. 

“Yeah, Eskel can’t get a hold of him either.” Jaskier swallowed hard, “I hope he’s okay.” 

That was weird coming from Jaskier since he didn’t even like Lambert. “I’m going to Aiden’s,” Geralt walked past Jaskier putting his shoes on at the door. 

“I’ll meet you there, I’m going to shower and get dressed” Jaskier mumbled.

Just before Geralt opened the front door he looked back at Jaskier “Depending how this ends up, rain check on that date?” 

Jaskier nodded, “Go.”

*** * ***

When Geralt got to Aiden’s room, Coen was just showing up as well, “Do you want the full story?” Coen asked. 

Geralt shook his head, “No, the texts are all over the place.” 

“Yeah,” Coen opened the door seeing Aiden sitting on the floor up against the wall balling his eyes out. Eskel was sitting beside him “I called our Foster father to see if he could find him.” 

Coen went up to Aiden kneeling down in front of him, “Hey, he’s probably fine…”    
“You don’t know that…” Aiden sniffed, Geralt stood there awkwardly; he wasn’t good at making people feel better. “What happened?” Geralt asked, 

“Lambert’s dad got a parole hearing,” Eskel exhaled. “Lambert was coming up with plans to kill him if he got out. he and Aiden got in a fight then he left.”

“Shit…” Geralt whispered under his breath, “and no one can get a hold of him by phone?” 

“No, right to voicemail” Eskel sighed, standing up “Aiden and I were out all night looking for him.” 

“Hopefully your dad can find him…” Geralt looked down his Aiden who was a total mess. Did Eskel know that the reason Aiden was acting this way was because he loved Lambert? 

“Hello?” Eskel answered his phone moving away from everyone. 

“Is that Lambert?” Aiden asked, rubbing his tears away. 

Geralt kneeled down to Aiden, “Does Eskel know?” 

Aiden shook his head, “But I don’t care about that right now…” 

“Okay, thanks, I’ll meet you guys downstairs” Eskel hung up the phone and looked over at the group of them. “He’s fine, Our dad is bringing him back,”

“Where was he?” Coen asked, 

“Well, he stood in front of his old house for so long the cops were called on him and he was picked up there.” Eskel sighed, “Maybe this wouldn’t have happened if he let people help him.” 

“He deals with things in his own way” Coen added, standing up “When will they be here?” 

“20 minutes or so” Eskel leaned on the wall. 

Geralt helped Aiden stand up, “At least he’s okay.” Aiden said, using the sleeve of his shirt to wipe snort off his face. 

They had all gone downstairs to wait for Lambert, having Cigarette to calm their nerves. Even Aiden who normally never smokes had one. When a black car pulled up to the front of the dorm Aiden literally ran to it even though no one had come out of the car. 

“I hope that’s your dad’s car” Coen laughed, 

“It is, he’s safe” Eskel threw his cigarette on to the ground and walked after him, Geralt and Coen in toe behind. 

The Passenger door swung open, Lambert stepped out looking exhausted. Aiden pulled him into a kiss, warping his arms around him, Lambert wasn’t fighting him. He returned the kiss. Geralt looked at Eskel who was very surprised but didn’t say anything other than “OH.”

“Don’t you ever do that again!” Aiden shouted, “You hear me!?” 

“I’m sorry…” Lambert mumbled, holding Aiden’s face in his hands. 

A man stepped out of the driver’s seat, leaning on the roof of the car. His hair was white from age and wrinkles to match, He smiled at the two boys. 

“You must be Aiden” the man stretched out his hand over the car “I’m Vesemir” Geralt couldn’t get over the fact he had the same golden eyes as the rest of them. It was odd. 

“Thanks for getting him back here safe.” Aiden grabbed his hand and shook it, “Means a lot.” 

“No problem, I’d do anything for these boys” Vesemir smiled. 


	13. Chapter 13

Vesemir had ended up taking the whole group out for lunch, even letting Jaskier tag along even though he was late to the party. Geralt was so surprised that Vesemir and Eskel said nothing about Lambert kissing Aiden, Maybe it was because they didn’t want to make him more upset than he already was or maybe they were both really okay with it.

“Well, I’m glad the two of you boys found a little group you fit into” Vesemir stated, looking at the menu for this little diner he wanted to try. The place put tables together to make sure they could all sit together since it was such a big group of people. 

“They’re okay,” Lambert mumbled, biting down on his straw of the soda he got. 

Eskel shook his head, kicking him under the table, “They’re more than OK.”

Lambert frowned at Eskel, making Vesemir chuckle “You two never change.”    
“How long did you foster them?” Aiden spoke up, Geralt thought it was a fair question honestly he wouldn’t have even known they were in foster care if they didn’t say anything. 

“Ah, Eskel I’ve been fostering since he was 3, and Lambert was 12 when he came to live with me.” Vesemir closed his menu, “And even though they have aged out of the system they are my sons.” 

“Oh god, you’re making him all mushy” Lambert mocked, 

“Mushy is good, I like mushy” Aiden wrinkled his nose at Lambert. 

Geralt looked over at Jaskier who was beside him, he looked hyper-focused on trying to figure out what he wanted to eat. “You okay?” Geralt whispered. 

Jaskier looked at him and smiled “Yeah, just feel a little out of place.” 

Geralt shook his head, “You’re with me, you belong here too.” Geralt slid his hand onto Jaskier’s thigh, making him blush. Geralt didn’t know why seeing Aiden and Lambert not giving a shit what people thought gave him a little bit more courage to be with Jaskier. 

Jaskier placed his hand on top of Geralt’s and smiled wider.

When the waiter came back to the table, everyone ordered something, Vesemir was covering all the bills which surprised Geralt to no end that a man would be so nice to people he didn’t even know. 

“There is something I’d like to talk to you two about because you still live under my roof, I was going to wait but since we're together might just be a good idea to just say it.” Vesemir took a drink from his glass. 

“Oh boy, what did I do?” Eskel looked worried, 

“Nothing? Why do you always think it’s bad?” Vesemir looked at Eskel sideways. Eskel shrugged and took a long drink of his soda. 

“Well, another foster child is getting placed with me” Vesemir exhaled, looking both at Lambert and Eskel faces. 

“Aren’t you getting a little old?” Lambert said with a cocky smirk on his face, 

“Listen here kid, I’m not old, just experienced ” Vesemir narrowed his eyes at Lambert. 

“Call it what you want your old,” Lamber chuckled, getting hit in the arm by Aiden to stop. 

“What’s their name?” Eskel asked, 

“Cirilla, the last member of her family passed last week” Vesemir scanned the room. “But I’m only going to take her in if it’s alright with you two.” 

“It’s fine,” both Eskel and Lambert said in unison. 

Vesemir smiled, “That’s what I like to hear more the merrier am I right?” 

Geralt wished his family was accepting and caring for one another. He understood where Eskel got it from, why he took care of everyone so well. Geralt laced his fingers with Jaskier under the table. Running his thumb along his warm flesh. 

Once everyone had gotten their plates of food everything seemed to go silent as Coen shoved food in his face as if he had never seen it before. He stopped for a second with his mouth full, “Sorry…” He said muffled.

Vesemir chuckled, “So how about your 4 boys tell me about yourself? You guys haven’t said much since we got here.” 

“Didn’t even know Jaskier could be that quiet” Lambert mumbled under his breath.

Vesemir sighed, “Lambert I know you’re going through a lot right now but can you dial back your attitude for 5 minutes?” 

Lambert let out a deep breath, “Fine”

“Thank you,” Vesemir smiled, “Now Aiden, How did you and Lambert meet?”

“Were roommates,” Aiden answered, sliding his hand under the table probably to rest his hand on Lambert’s lap.

“Ahh, Easy access eh?” Vesemir chuckled, making Lambert choke on the drink he took. 

“That’s what I said!” Coen called out, Geralt slapped Coen’s arm thinking it should be a talk just between them. Coen looked down at his plate “Sorry…” 

“I don’t think I want to talk about this with you” Lambert frowned.

“He’s not wrong though,” Aiden winked at Lambert, making his face get super red. “God, you guys all suck.”

“It’s called being supportive,” Eskel raised an eyebrow at Lambert, smiling “Just you know I wish you would have told me, cause we’re brothers.” 

Jaskier was smiling, probably excited to see Lambert’s skin crawl as people talked about him and Aiden being an item. This was the first time he didn’t feel anxious about his future...that he found his home within these people. 

*** * ***

“That was fun,” Jaskier smiled as he opened the door to their dorm. “I’m really happy for Lambert and Aiden.” 

“Yeah?” Geralt closed the door behind them, “I thought you didn’t like Lambert?”

“I like Aiden, so I’m happier for him,” Jaskier turned to look at Geralt, still all smiley. “I also like how inviting and supportive Vesemir was!” 

“Yeah, he’s lucky” Geralt grabbed Jaskier’s hands, entangling his fingers with Jaskier. 

“Not as lucky as me,” Jaskier moved closer to Geralt. Geralt hummed in confusion making Jaskier laugh softly. “Because I have the sweetest guy in existence,” 

Geralt smiled, “You think I’m sweet?” Geralt had never been called sweet before. Harsh yes, never sweet. 

“Hmm, yes very” Jaskier purred.

Geralt stared into Jaskier’s eyes, feeling a flutter in his stomach and chest, his heart rate rising but not in a bad way. It was a new feeling, he found himself looking at Jaskier’s lips, wondering if they tasted differently than before if it was the same. 

“Did you still want to do that date tonight?” Jaskier asked, swinging their arms like a child. 

“I know you probably wanted something big…” Geralt murmured, “But how do you feel about getting take out and watching a movie here?” 

“I love it,” Jaskier smiled, Geralt felt himself leaning down, lightly pressing his lips to Jaskier exploring how his body would react. He was nervous but not as terrified as before, Jaskier leaned into the kiss opening his mouth slightly as an invitation but didn’t lead. He let Geralt decide how far he wanted to go, making him feel safe. 

Geralt lingered there just feeling the warmness from Jaskier not accepting the invite but knowing it was there when he was ready. He pulled away from the kiss watching Jaskier’s eyes slowly open and a smile spread across his face. 

“Baby steps,” Jaskier whispered. 

“Baby steps,” Geralt repeated, pulling one of Jaskier’s hands to his face and kissing it.

*** * ***

“Okay, Geralt you have to work with me” Jaskier took a bite of pizza, “ What kinds of movies do you like?” 

Geralt shrugged as he chewed the pizza in his mouth “You pick,” He mumbled.

“Ughhh,” Jaskier frowned, they had been at this for 10 minutes trying to figure out the movie they were going to watch, laying in bed with a box of pizza they had been snacking on. “If I pick you might not like it”

“I’m not a picky guy Jaskier,” Geralt sighed “Just pick something.” 

“But like what if I pick something that triggers you?” Jaskier put his piece of pizza back into the box and frowned. 

“I’ll be fine,” Geralt took another bite of his pizza. Jaskier narrowed his eyes at him “No,” He rolled off the bed “I’m playing it safe, we're watching Burlesque.” 

“Is it a musical?” Geralt groaned, “I said no musicals.” 

“It’s not really a musical, There are hot girls and hot guys so best of both worlds.” Jaskier grabbed his laptop off his desk and came back, loading up the movie on Netflix’s. 

“I thought you were gay?” Geralt smirked, 

“I can still think girls are good looking just I don’t want to touch them” Jaskier chuckled.

“I guess, that’s fair” Geralt watched Jaskier put the laptop at the end of the bed, coming back to lay down beside him where the pizza box sat between them. 

The movie wasn’t something he was interested in but it made Jaskier happy so it made him happy. There was a little too much singing and dance for his taste even if it wasn’t a musical it sure felt like one. 

After a while when the two of them were finished eating, Jaskier put the pizza box on his desk. He flopped back down beside Geralt cuddling up to him and letting out a big breath of air. “This is nice,” Jaskier whispered. 

“Mhmm” Geralt hummed, pressing his lips to Jaskier’s forehead, taking in a deep breath of sweet smell. 

“Are you doing okay?” Jaskier looked up at him, his blue eyes twinkling. Geralt leaned down and kissed Jaskier, wrapping his arms around Jaskier. Jaskier gave the same invite, as he slightly opened his mouth, sliding his hand up onto Geralt’s cheek. 

Geralt slid his tongue into Jaskier’s mouth, exploring the place he once mapped out but with less fear this time. It was just as sweet as he remembered, His ears were ringing, drowning the sounds of the movie around him as he pulled Jaskier closer. Their hips pressed against each other, Jaskier laced his fingers into his hair as they breathed life into each other, their tongues entangled in a wet mess. 

Heat spread through Geralt’s body as they made out, out of breath but not wanting to let go of this passion they shared. Jaskier pulled away, catching his breath “Sorry, you’re getting me all worked up.” 

“Isn’t that the point?” Geralt smiled, leaning in to kiss again but Jaskier put his hand over Geralt’s mouth. 

“Don’t unleash the monster if you can’t handle it,” Jaskier smirked, biting his lip. 

“I can handle you just fine,” Geralt said, muffled by Jaskier’s hand.

“Geralt, Baby steps,” Jaskier whispered. “You just got comfortable with kissing so let's just stick with this because I know the moment I try to lift up your shirt you're going to back away.”

He wasn’t wrong...


	14. Chapter 14

Priscilla and Jaskier were painting the leather jackets for the Halloween party this Saturday. The twins had kicked Geralt out of the dorm to ‘Go play’ since he was distracting Jaskier by just existing and they needed to focus if it was going to get done on time. 

Geralt had invited the guys to join him at a little coffee shop not that far from their dorm just so he wasn’t alone. Geralt thought it was funny how he went from wanting to be alone to never wanting to. 

“So how are things with you and Jaskier?” Aiden asked, grabbing a fallen eyelash off Lambert’s face. “Make a wish” He held it up to Lambert who frowned. 

“Why?” Lambert growled, Aiden ended up blowing it away from himself “You're no fun.”

“Were doing fine,” Geralt took a sip of his black coffee. He had told the boys about them the day after the lunch with Vesemir thinking it would be good if no secrets were between them. 

“You have sex yet?” Lambert smirked, making Eskel choke on his drink and spilling some onto the table. “Oh god, sorry you caught me off guard.” Eskel grabbed some napkins and started cleaning up the spill. 

Geralt chuckled, “No, we’re taking things slow.”

Coen was helping Eskel by moving cups around, “Well, at least he’s going at your pace.” 

“Have you had sex before?” Aiden asked, “Like, I mean two men.” He kind of whispered that part. 

“Is there a difference?” Geralt frowned, as Coen laughed out loud. 

“Oh boy,” Lambert shook his head, “Your in for a treat.”

“Okay, don’t scare him, just because you had a bad experience the first time doesn’t mean he will.” Aiden hit Lambert’s arm. 

“What happened?” Eskel asked, 

“I don’t want to talk about it,” Lambert sighed, 

“You shit yourself didn’t you?” Coen asked, smiling like an ass hole. 

“The asshole half-assed everything I told him to do for prep because he was impatient so yeah he did.” Aiden rolled his eyes, Eskel was trying not to laugh but was failing greatly. 

“I hate all of you so much” Lambert put his face into his hands. 

“So that’s a thing that can happen?” Geralt asked. He was kind of scared to ask Jaskier about this stuff since they just got kissing down path. 

“Yeah, but as long as you prep you’ll be fine” Aiden took a drink of his coffee, “Odd question but did you talk to Jaskier about who’s going from top to bottom?” 

Geralt shook his head, he wasn’t even sure what that really meant.

“You’re not stuck in that role, it's just a good idea for the first time to know, Lambert and I switch all the time now.” Aiden padded Geralt’s shoulder. 

“Jaskier has been out since the middle of high school so I’m sure he has a lot of experience.” Eskel looked a little uncomfortable talking about this but was still trying to help which was nice. He must have a hard time being the only hardcore straight guy in the room. 

“Yeah, just nervous to ask him” Geralt itched the back of his neck. 

“You shouldn’t be,” Coen mumbled, “Couples have to talk about this stuff all the time.” 

Geralt knew Coen was right, he was always right. 

Eskel sighed, “You guys make me feel single…” He frowned and took a drink of his coffee. 

“You have girls drooling over you all the time, why are you complaining?” Coen narrowed his eyes at Eskel. “Plus I’m not in a relationship so how am I making you feel single?” 

“You get laid all the time!” Eskel groaned, “I haven’t got laid in 3 months, I’m not good with one night stands.” 

Geralt laughed, making Eskel narrowed his eyes to him “What is so funny?” 

“3 Months isn’t a long time, try 6” Geralt took a drink again, leaning his weight on the table. 

“Jesus,” Coen chuckled, “I think I would die.”   
“I am dying,” Eskel groaned. 

Geralt rolled his eyes “You know I could probably set you up with Jaskier's sister.” 

“Priscilla is pretty cute,” Aiden winked at him, 

“Oh god, She’s a lot though” Eskel sighed, “I don’t know.” 

“She’s a really big sweetheart just like you” Coen nudged Eskel’s arm. 

“Yeah, that’s what we need Eskel and Priscilla being so cute it causes us to vomit” Lambert rolls his eyes. 

“Come on don’t you want your brother to be happy?” Aiden asked, 

“Sure, but I don’t want it all up in my face,” Lambert growled. 

“So, Eskel yes or no?” Geralt asked, pulling out his phone. 

“Fine, fine, one date” Eskel mumbled, “Don’t go planning our wedding or anything.” 

“If it goes well you will let me though right?” Aiden smiled, 

“No,” Eskel frowned, Geralt was texting Jaskier to see if Priscilla would want to go on a date with Eskel. He hoped she would so he didn’t look like a fool. 

_ From: Sweetest boy :Heart:  _

_ Hey, odd question, do you think your sister would go out with Eskel? _

_ Seen at 4:24 PM _

_ From: Jaskier :Heart:  _

_ Hmmm, Are you trying to set them up? _

_ Seen at 4:26 PM _

_ From: Sweetest boy :Heart:  _

_ Yes.  _

_ Seen at 4:28 PM _

“What did she say?” Eskel was anxiously tapping on the table. 

“He’s asking, Chill” Geralt waited for Jaskier to text back. 

From: Jaskier :Heart: 

What’s Eskel’s Number?   
Seen at 4:36 PM

Geralt sent Jaskier the contact info, kind of excited for Eskel in a small way. He just really hoped the two of them got along and Eskel stopped feeling so lonely. Not too long after he sent it, Eskel’s phone rang. 

“Oh,” Eskel looked confused as he stood up and fought to get his phone out of his pocket. 

“I’d answer that,” Geralt raised his eyebrow up and took a drink. 

“Hello?” Eskel started to walk outside of the shop, “Yeah, Hey Priscilla.” 

“Where is my date?” Coen joked leaning forward, 

“He’s not a pimp,” Aiden frowned, leaning over to push on Coen’s arm lightly. 

“Yet,” Lambert chuckled. 

“If I become a pimp, kill me” Geralt sighed, that is definitely the last thing he wants in his life. Even though he hadn’t decided what his future held career-wise a pimp was not on his list. 

The guys laughed, watching Eskel out the window, watching him smile and talk. He caught them watching and gave them a thumbs up with this wide smile. Success. 

“Pimp,” Lambert whispered, 

* * *

When Geralt got back to the dorm, Priscilla was helping Jaskier packing up the stuff they used to paint. All the leather jackets were on the ground, backs painted with the nicknames they gave each other for the Halloween costume. Logos of animals were under the lettering, Lambert, Eskel and Geralt were wolves. Aiden had picked a cat and Coen had picked a Griffin.

“There you are” Jaskier abandoned his task and ran up to Geralt, wrapping his arms around his waist. “You have fun?” Jaskier smiled. 

“I did, you get it all done?” Geralt gave Jaskier a light kiss on the lips. 

“We did, but now I have a dinner date to get to,” Priscilla smiled, cleaning up the last few bottles of paint. 

“Eskel is excited, be easy on him if he over dresses for this.” Geralt sighed,

“Oh well, then that is one test he would pass,” Priscilla put her bag over her shoulder. 

“Excuse me?” Geralt looked confused as all hell making Jaskier chuckle. 

“All my dates go through trials to see if they are worth my time.” Priscilla took a deep breath, “I have high standards.” 

“You are a lot,” Geralt rolled his eyes, moving him and Jaskier out of the way so she could get to the door. 

“But I’m worth it” She winked at Geralt before planting a kiss on Jaskier’s cheek. “I’ll come by in the morning to let you know it went.” 

“Oh, yes please,” Jaskier smiled “Thanks for your help.”

She waved and left, leaving Jaskier and Geralt alone. 

“Where were we?” Jaskier asked, probably asking about this morning before his sister came over. 

Geralt slid one of his hands onto the side of Jaskier’s neck and pulled him into a kiss. Jaskier giggled behind the kiss, leading Geralt back into his bedroom kissing until Jaskier's legs hit the bed frame. 

“I remember now,” Jaskier smirked, gesturing with his eyes for Geralt to lay down.

Geralt quickly took off his jacket letting it fall to the ground below before laying down on to the soft bed. Jaskier got on top of him, straddling his thighs. They had been making out pretty much all the time since Sunday. Jaskier had tried once to get his hand up Geralt’s shirt but ended up in a panic attack. 

Geralt just wished he could be normal…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trying to make this Fanfic pretty realistic to real-life compared my other one! so I hope you're liking it so far <3


	15. Chapter 15

Jaskier’s sweet taste was almost overbearing as his tongue wrapped it’s way around Geralt’s in a dance of wet, sloppy passion. Jaskier was still straddling Geralt’s thigh’s, his hands-on Geralt’s chest as they focused on each other. Geralt wished his mind would be this quiet all the time. 

Geralt slid his hands down Jaskier's ass cupping it in his hands through the tight jeans Jaskier was wearing. Hearing and feeling Jaskier moan before he pulled away fanning himself with his hand. “You sir are turning me on,” Jaskier smiled, his face flushed red. 

“You’re always turned on,” Geralt hummed. staring up at Jaskier who was getting hit by the beautiful golden sun rays coming out of the window making him look like a god. 

“Have you looked at yourself in the mirror?” Jaskier ran his hands down the curves of Geralt’s torso feeling the muscles through the cotton shirt. 

“Yeah, I’m not that impressive,” Geralt furrowed his brow. 

“Darling you are a work of art,” Jaskier leaned down pressing a soft kiss on Geralt’s lips making him want more. Geralt licked Jaskier’s lips as he pulled away in hopes to get another taste, so things would go silent, to make Jaskier the only thing that mattered. 

“Break time,” Jaskier rolled off Geralt smiling “I need to take care of things then I will be back.” 

Geralt felt like the worst person ever, not being able to aid his partner in anything sexual right now was annoying. It used to piss Yennefer off to no end when he was having his ‘off’ days and wouldn’t have sex with her. It’s probably what made things as bad as they are now, her making him ashamed for not being comfortable with doing anything but cuddling. It happened more and more often to the point they stopped having sex. 

“I’m sorry…” Geralt breathed out, 

“Geralt stop, you don’t have to say sorry” Jaskier sat up looking down at him. 

“I only get turned on less than half of the time from us kissing,” Geralt stared up at the ceiling. “I feel like I’m just too broken to fix.” 

“Hey, hey” Jaskier cupped Geralt’s cheek turning his head to him so their eyes met. “You're not broken, don’t ever say that.” 

Geralt took a sharp breath in trying not to cry as he nodded. 

“To be fair if all you wanted to do was make out for the next 6 months I’m down,” Jaskier smiled “Because when I said I was here for you, I meant it.” 

Jaskier was amazing, Geralt had no idea what he would do without him. 

“Aiden said I should probably talk to you have how this sex thing was going to go...but I don’t think we’re there yet.” Geralt smiled, after hearing Jaskier laugh. 

“Yeah, we can wait to talk about that,” Jaskier tapped Geralt’s leg as he got out of the bed. “Once you’re comfortable with your shirt off we will talk okay? Right now don’t put pressure on yourself.” 

“Okay,” Geralt sat up, “I won’t.” 

“I’ll be back.” 

*** * ***

From: Eskel

Bro, I think It went really bad like I think she hates me.

Seen at 7:23 AM

From: Geralt 

You’re overreacting.

Seen at 7:24 AM

From: Eskel

DUDE, she wouldn’t even kiss me when I walked her to her dorm. That is a bad sign.

Seen at 7:25 AM

Geralt sighed, He was laying in Jaskier’s bed as the twins talked about Priscilla’s date. Which from her end sounded amazing, Eskel opened doors for her, pulled chairs out. Why did he think it went bad? 

“He was the perfect gentleman, I felt like I was in a Disney movie” Priscilla giggled in the other room. 

“If you were a Disney princess our parents would be dead,” Jaskier mumbled. 

“Oh shush you” She laughed louder. 

From: Geralt

Not everyone kisses on the first date.

Seen at 7:34 AM

From: Eskel

Did Jaskier say anything?   
Seen at 7:35 AM

From: Geralt 

Why don’t you ask him? 

Seen at 7:36 AM

From: Eskel

You’re no help, I’m coming over. 

Seen at 7:37 AM

“Oh, shit,” Geralt sat up really fast, “Fuck.” 

“Geralt you okay?” Jaskier called from the kitchen. Geralt threw on a pair of jeans and popped out of the bedroom. 

“Eskel is coming,” As soon as he said that a knock echoed through their dorm. Priscilla looked terrified, probably because she was still in her bathrobe and had no makeup on. 

“Uhhh, No one is here!” Jaskier shouted Geralt blanky looked at Jaskier, that was probably the dumbest thing he could have done at that moment. Priscilla hit him in the arm agreeing with Geralt.  
“What?” Jaskier whispered Geralt walked up to the door. 

“Don’t let him look like trash!” Priscilla loudly whispered, she honestly didn’t look bad, she was just as beautiful as her brother. They always looked good. 

“You look great,” Geralt said, opening the door seeing Eskel in his PJs out of breath. “Hey, where’s Jaskier I thought I heard him”

Jaskier stood up, putting one arm around Geralt’s waist “Yessss?” He had a smile glued to his face like he was living for the drama. 

“Did your sister tell you how the date was?” Eskel looked worried, Geralt knew he was overreacting but he still felt bad. 

“I think it went great,” Priscilla called, Eskel’s eyes went wide like he just got caught doing something really bad. 

“She’s here?” Eskel whispered, making Geralt and Jaskier laugh. 

“Priscilla?” Eskel pushed through the guys standing at the door, “You thought it was good?” 

Priscilla covered her face the moment he came through the door still sitting at the kitchen table, “No! I’m not all done up!” She shouted as Eskel kneeled in front of her. 

“I don’t care,” He chuckled, 

“He passed my test” Jaskier whispered to Geralt smirking, Geralt shook his head. These two had a weird way of dating people. 

“So you thought it was good?” Eskel repeated, 

“Yeah? What made you think it was bad? You were well mannered and the perfect gentlemen, you’re interesting and smart. The only thing that was negative was you left every 20 minutes to have a smoke.” Priscilla mumbled through her hands trying to keep him from seeing her bare face. 

“So...you would go on another one?” Eskel asked as he looked so happy. Geralt smiled, he finally returned the favour to Eskel. 

“Yeah,” She giggled, moving her hands away to see Eskel’s smiling face then quickly covering up again. “Tomorrow night?” 

Eskel smiled and stood up “Yes, I’ll text you” he was just about to turn to leave before saying “You look beautiful by the way” 

“Awww, My heart,” Jaskier cried from beside Geralt making Eskel super embarrassed. 

“I’m going to go sorry,” He quickly walked out. 

“He’s got my seal of brotherly approval” Jaskier ran and sat down beside her again, smiling as he saw her blushing face when she moved her hands. 

“He’s such a sweetheart” Priscilla pouted dramatically, “It’s so cute.”

Geralt was glad they hit it off, he was scared that she wouldn’t like him but to be honest who didn’t like Eskel. Geralt went to the bedroom to put some socks on and grab his jacket. 

“I’m going to go have a smoke,” Geralt walked back over to Jaskier, planting a kiss on his forehead. 

“Okay, don’t be long,” Jaskier frowned “I have class in an hour.” 

“20 minutes tops,” 

*** * ***

When Geralt got outside the crisp cold wind hit him, he didn’t mind that fall was his favourite season. When the leaves would change colours matching the colour of his eyes. He pulled out the pack of cigarettes of his pocket, placing one in his mouth. In the corner of his eye, he saw Lambert sitting on top of a picnic table, his feet resting on the bench. 

Geralt covered his lighter from the wind lighting his cigarette before making his way over to Lambert. 

“Hey,” Geralt climbed up onto the table sitting beside him. Lambert blew a cloud of smoke into the air, watching it drift away with the wind. 

“Hey,” Lambert flicked ashes on the ground, “Where’s Jaskier?” 

“Gossiping with his sister,” Geralt took a drag off his cigarette, holding the bitter smoky flavour in his mouth. “Where’s Aiden?” 

“Sleeping,” Lambert had looked like he had been crying, his eyes were puffy and red. 

“Is it your dad?” Geralt asked, already knowing his answer. Lambert nodded, rubbing his nose with the back of his hand. 

“What would you do if your murder of a father got let out of jail?” Lambert clenched his jaw. “It’s like, he ruined my life enough, you know? Why can’t he just do me a favour and stay the fuck where he belongs.” 

Geralt stayed silent now and really knew what his answer would be to that. Even after everything that had happened between him and his mother he never dreamed of everything ever bad happening to her. He still loved her…

“The fucker took away the only thing that mattered to me,” Lambert took a rough drag off his cigarette. “And fuck if he tries to take Aiden from me now I will rip him a new asshole.” 

Geralt thought that was the closest to Lambert saying he loved Aiden ever. “I think the goal should be to keep you out of prison.” Geralt mumbled blowing smoke into the air. 

“I don’t give a shit,” Lambert scoffed, flicked his cigarette bud onto the ground. 

“You should, you are better than him” Geralt narrowed his eyes at Lambert. 

Lambert let out a big sigh, putting another cigarette into his mouth and lighting it. Geralt wondered how long he had been out here for.

“Eskel and Coen are lucky they don’t have parents,” Lambert breathed out. 

“No, they're not,” Geralt chuckled “They’re just as fucked up as us but in different ways.” Geralt flicked ashes onto the ground, “Eskel is codependent as fuck and Coen is so scared of commitment because he thinks everyone is going to die if he loves them.” 

Lambert stared at Geralt, silent. “We’re not the only ones fucked up, they're just differently fucked.” Geralt took a drag off his cigarette.

Lambert chuckled, coughing slightly on the smoke leaving his mouth “Sounds like we were all dealt a bad hand.” 


	16. Chapter 16

Jaskier had forced the guys to get up early to help set up at the bar, Priscilla managed to get the dive bar she performed at every week to let them host the Halloween party there. Jaskier had emailed the whole school so he was expecting a pretty big outcome which probably was a big plus for this place.

“Jaskier can you get me a stool? I can’t reach” Priscilla was trying to help Jaskier hang a banner over the stage that said ‘Stay gold Ponyboy.’ 

“Yeah, one second!” Jaskier was just about to drop his side of the banner before Eskel dropped what he was doing and wrapped his arms around her waist and lifted her up. “I got her,” 

Priscilla squealed, not expecting him to do that. Apparently, Priscilla wanted to be courted before she and Eskel became an Item. Which was super old school but sweet? Eskel had bought her roses for their last date which Jaskier talked endlessly about. 

“Okay, I got it, You can put me down, good sir” Priscilla smiled, as Eskel placed her gently on the ground. They kindly stared into each other’s eyes for a little while before Lambert gagged beside Geralt. The two of them had not been really helping, Lambert hadn’t been doing so good. The closer it got to his father’s parole hearing the angrier he got. 

“Is it 11 yet?” Lambert frowned, He was waiting for the owner to be able to legally sell him alcohol, probably to put out the flame growing in his chest. 

“No,” Geralt sighed, “How many times do I have to tell you, you're not drinking.”

“You’re not my dad,” Lambert growled. 

Geralt rolled his eyes, looking at Aiden helping the owner stock the bar. He looked tired, the bags under his eyes were dark making him look like the walking dead. He wondered what Lambert had been putting him through. 

“Are you and Aiden okay?” Geralt asked, looking back at Lambert who rolled his eyes. 

“Yes, living in fucking paradise” Lambert groaned, laying his head on the bar. 

“Lambert,” Geralt gritted his teeth, “What is going on?” 

“I can’t sleep, and Aiden stays up with me so I’m not alone because he is scared I will hurt myself,” Lambert whispered.

“Are you?” 

“No,” 

Geralt looked back at Jaskier, watching him set up everything for the party. He and Priscilla looked so excited, the two of them fed off each other’s energy dancing and singing like no one was watching. 

Coen slid in beside Geralt, yawning loudly, he didn't do well with the early wake-up times. “Looks like we’re almost done,” 

“Yeah, then Jaskier wants to spend 3 hours getting us ready” Lambert sighed. 

“I’m looking forward to getting my hair done by someone else,” Coen laughed. 

“Hey, Who said you could stop working?” Jaskier walked over, smiling widely with his hands on his hips. 

“These two aren’t working,” Coen replied, frowning.

“They are special cases,” Jaskier raised an eyebrow.

“Really?” Coen stood up and sighed, “Why?”

“Well, Lambert threatened to rip my dick off and well, I just like having Geralt where I can see him at all times.” Jaskier winked at Geralt making his heart jump into his throat. 

“Okay, fair,” Coen narrowed his eyes and walked away slowly. Jaskier smiled, wrapping his arms around Geralt’s middle making him tense up thinking about what the owner of this place thought about this, would he kick them out?

“Hey, it’s okay this place is LGBTQ friendly” Jaskier kissed his cheek once he loosened up a little. Feeling a little more relaxed than he didn’t have to worry about being shamed. 

Lambert gagged again, “Get a room.” 

“Nothing is stopping you from kissing Aiden, HM?” Jaskier pulled away, sticking his tongue out at Lambert. 

“What does he know?” Lambert grunted, checking the time on his phone. “Were careful, we can’t have anyone seeing us.” 

“Mhmm,” Geralt ran his fingers through his hair “Yet you kissed in front of the dorms?” 

“One time,” Lambert sighed, “and it shouldn’t have happened.” 

Geralt let out a deep breath, It kind of made him sad that Lambert wasn’t even comfortable being seen kissing Aiden in front of his friends. 

“You can be a little looser around us you know?” Geralt nudged Lambert with his shoulder. Lambert went silent, his eye’s wandering to Aiden across the room. Geralt was never going to force them but he also didn’t want them to have to hide in front of them either. 

“Maybe,” Lambert whispered. 

*** * ***

Jaskier rubbed thick gel into Geralt’s hair, slicking back his ashen hair with his hands. “Your hair is so beautiful,” Jaskier whispered, grabbing a comb off their kitchen table and combing the gel into place. 

“Jaskier, focus!” Priscilla roared, doing makeup on Eskel’s face, mostly to make him look beat up and bloody. 

“You look beautiful,” Eskel mutters

“You shush,” Priscilla giggled, as she patted a sponge on his face making a bruise around his eye. 

“When does the party start again?” Coen asked, already done his makeover. His face was bloodied and his hair slicked back like the rest of them. His leather jacket just lightly resting on his shoulders as he rolled up his t-shirt sleeves to be a tank top. 

“7 ish,” Jaskier said, adding a little bit more gel onto the comb and running it through Geralt’s hair. It felt nice, having his hair played with. 

The door or their dorm opened as Lambert came back from having a smoke downstairs, he was dressed up in his outfit but was still waiting for his hair and makeup just like Aiden.

Geralt saw Lambert hook his arm around Aiden’s waist just in the corner of his eye. Making him smile, it was a start. 

“What?” Jaskier chuckled after seeing the smile on Geralt’s face. 

“Nothing,” Geralt mumbled, Geralt was nervous about tonight, about the crowds of people. He wouldn’t be able to use Jaskier like a safety blanket since he didn’t want people knowing they were together yet. He could feel his heart beating in his chest, his hands shaking but a part of him was excited as well…

“Just remember Geralt, you only have to be there for an hour okay?” Jaskier smiled, putting his sticky hands on the sides of his face. Geralt nodded, “I know.” 

“Did you take your meds?” Eskel asked as he stood up from his spot letting Aiden take it. 

“Not yet,” Geralt muttered, it was probably the 4th time someone had asked him. 

“Get off his fucking case man he will take them when we leave,” Lambert growled. he was more annoyed about it then Geralt was he should know they were just looking out for him. 

“Chill out,” Eskel sighed, “Not everything needs to be a fight.” 

Jaskier started doing the makeup, using a sponge to dab it on Geralt’s face, he loved it when Jaskier looked so focused on things. His lips slightly parted, his eyes shining with passion. 

“Close your eye’s Darling,” Jaskier whispered. Geralt did as he was told, lightly closing his eyes and Jaskier dabbing the sponge on to his eye. It felt weird, like a second layer of skin on his face. 

“God Aiden I wish I had your curls” Priscilla purred beside them, 

Aiden chuckled, “You don’t, it’s a pain keeping it looking nice.” 

“And running your fingers through his hair with rings on is a nightmare” Lambert added. 

“Very true,” Aiden laughed. 

“Almost done Geralt,” Jaskier hummed, Geralt felt cold liquid leak down his face and neck as Jaskier poured something on his forehead. “Alright, all done” Jaskier backed away as Geralt opened his eyes. 

“How do I look?” Geralt asked, 

“Like shit,” Coen smirked. 

“Hey, he looks great,” Jaskier frowned before kissing Geralt on his lips. “Alright, Lambert step right up.” 

Geralt and Lambert switched spots as Jaskier started getting gel into his hands. “I probably won’t have to do much to your hair since you have the least amount of hair,” Jaskier muttered. 

“I don’t know how they handle that much hair,” Lambert groaned.

“Laziness,” Coen yawned, as he sat his ass on the kitchen table. 

“Yup,” Aiden and Eskel chipped in. 

Geralt watched Jaskier do Lambert’s hair and makeup with such care and skill. He wished Jaskier didn’t need to stay the whole party. All he wanted to do was cuddle up to him under his soft cotton sheets as Jaskier sang lullabies and played in his thick ashen hair. 

But this party was important to Jaskier. 

  
  


*** * ***

“You okay?” Eskel’s voice carried over the heavy beat of the music. Geralt had a beer in hand, which was a horrible mix with his medication. He was on his third drink standing in the back of the room away from as many people as possible. 

Geralt shrugged, taking a drink out of his bottle.

“How many have you had?” Eskel asked, 

“Enough to get a buzz,” Geralt shouted. 

Eskel shook his head and grabbed the bottle from Geralt, “Mixing that with SSRIs is going to make your Anxiety worse!” 

“I feel fine,” Geralt frowned, grabbing to reach for the bottle which was pulled away from him again. 

“What if you get a panic attack? Huh? You can’t take the meds that help for that now with this in your system!” Eskel’s eyes darted through the crowd of people seeing Lambert yelling at some guy for bumping into him. “Fuck sacks, am I everyone’s god damn baby sitter?” Eskel walked off leaving Geralt by himself again. 

Geralt hadn’t seen Jaskier since the party started and he honestly didn’t know how long they had been here. Eskel had been juggling Lambert and Geralt trying to keep the two of them in check since Aiden was useless drunk and Coen was nowhere to be found. 

Geralt sighed, leaning his back on the wall watching people rubbing up against each other in crazy costumes. The buzz he had was keeping his senses numbed so he couldn’t feel how bad his Anxiety had gotten beside his aching heartbeat in his chest. 

“There you are!” Jaskier grabbed Geralt’s shoulder, “I’ve been looking everywhere for you!” Jaskier looked amazing with his hair slicked back and that smile across his face. Jaskier smelled drunk, his stance was sloppy. 

“Hey, Where have you been?” Geralt talked over the music. 

“Around,” Jaskier leaned into Geralt sliding his hands into his jacket “I missed you.” He whispered. 

“Jaskier,” Geralt pulled away, steadying his partner “Were in public.”

“Right, Sorry” Jaskier laughed, putting his finger over his mouth “Our secret.” 

Geralt pulled his phone out looking at the time  _ 12:32 AM _

He had been here way longer then he wanted to, getting lost in the bodies around him, it was overwhelming. “When does the party end?” Geralt shouted, 

“When the bar closes at 2 AM,” Jaskier drunkenly smiled “Why? Not having fun?” 

Geralt sighed, “I think you need some fresh air!” He grabbed Jaskier’s hand and led him out of the bar into a cold fall air. It was lightly snowing down from the black sky, in Canada, it was normal for it to snow on Halloween. The Beautiful white flakes fell from the sky, disappearing once they hit the ground. 

Geralt walked Jaskier to the side of the bar, seeing Aiden hunched over vomiting. 

“You alright?” Geralt called out, Aiden coughed rubbing vomit off his mouth with the back of his hand. 

“I think I drank too much,” Aiden mumbled, 

“No shit,” Geralt sighed, “Lambert was trying to start a fight in there…” 

“Again?” Aiden slowly got upright “That is the fourth time.” 

“Maybe the two of you should go home,” Geralt muttered trying to keep Jaskier from walking away. 

Aiden nodded, taking a deep breath before Eskel walked up with Lambert in a headlock in one arm and holding Priscilla upright in the other. 

“Has anyone seen Coen?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to a BLM protest in my city today so there might not be a chapter tomorrow! just giving everyone a heads up.  
> Stay safe <3


	17. Chapter 17

Eskel had walked Aiden and Lambert back to the dorm since he didn’t want any of them to get in any more trouble. He left Geralt to watch the twins who were laying in the grass with their mouths open catching snowflakes falling from the sky. 

Geralt lit his third cigarette, watching people enter and leave the bar. Apparently, Aiden had seen Coen leaving with two other people so Eskel was less worried. 

He wondered if Eskel had any fun at the party or if he was so busy worrying about everyone else. They shouldn’t be his responsibility, it was their fault they made bad choices. 

Geralt took a drag off his cigarette holding on to the ash taste, trying to calm his racing heartbeat. 

“Look at the camera, silly!” Priscilla was trying to take a photo of her and Jaskier but was failing. She could barely hold her phone upright because she was laughing so hard. The two of them were adorable in their costumes. bloodied up as they had just gotten out of a fight even though none of them would ever hurt a fly. 

“Geralt! Come lay with us!” Jaskier patted the ground beside him. 

“I’m good here,” Geralt mumbled, blowing smoke into the air. 

“Party pooper!” The twins booed, 

Geralt saw Eskel walking back to them, a cigarette in his mouth as he walked. “They’re in bed,” Eskel blew smoke out of his nose as he walked up beside Geralt. “What are they doing?” 

“Catching snowflakes,” Geralt smiled, “I’m a party pooper.”

“Adorable,” Eskel chuckled, watching the twins giggling as they caught snowflakes with their mouths. 

“Did you have any fun?” Geralt asked, 

Eskel stayed silent, flicking ashes onto the ground. 

“You need to stop thinking we’re all your responsibility,” Geralt sighed. 

“Geralt, Not now” Eskel flicked his bud onto the ground even though he wasn’t finished smoking it and walked up to the twins. The two of them cheered as he laid down beside Priscilla smiling. 

Geralt checked the time on his phone again, it was getting close to 2 AM finally. He was done and really wanted to go to bed. His buzz has faded which made him hyper-aware of his shaking hands. 

“Geralllllttt” Jaskier called again, waving his hands up in the air. “Join us!” 

Geralt shook his head, feeling himself smile. Maybe, it wasn’t a bad idea to go lay down with him. He walked over to them and laid down beside Jaskier, seeing the clouds passing over the night sky. 

Jaskier laced his fingers with Geralt, trying to hide it as much as he could from people walking by. Geralt met Jaskier’s eyes, feeling his heart rate slow almost right away as he stared into the pools of deep blue. “We can go home now if you want,” Jaskier smiled, squeezing Geralt’s hand gently. 

“Okay,” 

*** * ***

Geralt had sat Jaskier on the edge of the bed as he used a makeup wipe Priscilla had left behind to remove Jaskier’s makeup. It took them a while to get up the stairs to the third floor since Jaskier was so unbalanced and floppy. 

“Did you have fun?” Jaskier asked, keeping his eyes closed to Geralt could get the fake blood off. 

“Do you want me to be honest?” Geralt threw out the makeup wipe and grabbed another one. 

“Yesss,” Jaskier smiled, wiggling a little like a child. 

“Not really,” Geralt finished getting the last little bits off Jaskier’s face. 

“Aw,” Jaskier pouted, opening his eyes to look at Geralt as he helped slide off his letter jacket. Geralt put the jacket onto Jaskier’s desk, “It’s not your fault.” 

“Feels like it,” Jaskier sighed, “If I was with you maybe you would have had fun.” 

Geralt walked back up to Jaskier getting the hem of the man’s shirt and lifting it up “Arms up.” 

Jaskier lifted his arms up letting Geralt slide off his shirt, “Do I get to undress you after?” Jaskier smirked, making Geralt’s face turn red. 

Geralt swallowed hard, ignoring Jaskier’s comment as he reached for Jaskier’s belt. 

“I’ll leave your shirt on,” Jaskier whispered, leaning back to Geralt having an easier time with his belt “I know the rules.” 

“You're drunk,” Geralt unbuttoned Jaskier’s jeans and pulled them off. 

“And?” Jaskier smirked, standing up the moment Geralt got his jeans off. Grabbing a hold of his partner’s waist and pulling his close. “Just kissing,” Jaskier whispered as he slowly pressed his lips on Geralt’s. 

Geralt’s heart was beating out of his chest, he didn’t think Jaskier could be more forward than he already was not drunk. Geralt let Jaskier deepen the kiss, tasting the sweetness of his mouth that Geralt had longed for all evening even if it dampened by the taste of alcohol. 

Jaskier slid off Geralt’s jacket, letting it fall to the floor with a thud. He skimmed his hands down Geralt’s chest lining his muscles with his fingertips making his way to Geralt’s belt. 

Geralt moved his hands around Jaskier’s waist feeling the delicate flesh under his rough hands. He was out of breath and found it hard to breathe with Jaskier’s tongue in his mouth but he wouldn’t have it any other way. The focus it took removed the worried chaos in his brain and for these small moments, he thought for once things would work out. 

Jaskier undid Geralt’s belt, slowly working his way to the zipper of his jeans. Jaskier pulled away from the kiss, eyes half-lidded with desire as he whispered: “You okay?” 

“I don’t know,” Geralt mumbled, he couldn’t know for sure if he would panic. They had gotten this far before, getting his pants off but the moment he reached for his shirt flashbacks would eat him alive. 

“Do you want to stop?” Jaskier slowly unzipped Geralt’s pants, keeping his eyes glued to Geralt’s face reading it like a book. 

“No,” Geralt took a deep breath as Jaskier unbuttoned them sliding his hands down his hips and into the jeans to push them down and letting them fall around his ankles. “You okay?” Jaskier repeated as he got closer, pushing their hips together. Geralt could feel Jaskier’s erection against his through the sea of fabric. Geralt exhaled loudly, putting his forehead to Jaskier’s. 

“Just kissing, remember that” Jaskier smiled, leading Geralt to step out of his jeans and to the bed. 

“Just kissing,” Geralt breathed out, getting on top of Jaskier once he flopped down on the bed. Geralt kissed Jaskier’s neck hearing a moan echo through Jaskier’s throat. He wanted to see what other parts of him tasted like. It mostly tasted like fresh chemicals from the makeup wipes he had used to clean him up but the sound he heard from Jaskier was worth it. 

Geralt dragged his tongue over the harsh lines of Jaskier’s neck as Jaskier ran his fingers through his gelled up hair that was nearly solid as a rock now. 

“Fuck Geralt,” Jaskier bucked his hips up into Geralt’s making the two of them moan against the friction between their bodies. 

“I thought you said just kissing?” Geralt smirked, meeting Jaskier’s eyes. 

“Isn’t dry humping part of the package?” Jaskier pulled down for a kiss, spiralling his tongue against Geralt’s in a rough dance. 

The two of them lost themselves into each other, kissing, rubbing against each other, moaning against the friction until the chaffing from the fabric was nearly unbearable. Geralt felt like this was some small success for him, even though his shirt was still on.

“This is really fun but I’m starting to get a little raw,” Jaskier laughed out, panting heavily. Geralt hummed in an agreement feeling bad for Jaskier that he was basically tensing him to no end. 

“You okay?” Jaskier stared into Geralt’s eyes, worry pooling there as Geralt’s guilt showed on his face. 

“If you want…” Geralt mumbled, feeling his face get flushed, his heart rate spiking higher than it already was. “I could finish you off…” 

“Oh, uh, are you comfortable with that?” Jaskier was trying to hide his excitement about the question but Geralt could see it sparkling in his eyes. 

“I think so,” Geralt sucked in a sharp breath, feeling nervous as he slid his hand down Jaskier’s boxers feeling’s his erection, moist from the pre-cum that leaked from the tip. Handjobs weren’t’ rocket science, right? 

Jaskier gasped the moment Geralt wrapped his hand around the shaft of his cock. Geralt started slow, just trying to think about how he liked doing this to himself. Watching Jaskier’s face, listening to his soft moans as he dragged his hand up and down Jaskier’s shaft. 

“Fuc-” Jaskier pulled down Geralt by his neck to roughly kiss him, moaning into him. “I’m close,” 

“Yeah?” Geralt smirked, picking up the pacing, feeling Jaskier’s cock twitching against his hand. Jaskier moaned loudly pulling Geralt into another kiss as he came into Geralt’s hand. 

Geralt smiled, placing another kiss on Jaskier’s lips before he climbed off him to grab tissues off the end table. 

“Hey, what about you?” Jaskier panted out, 

“What about me?” Geralt wiped the cum off of his hand with the tissues. He was glad that this one time he could help Jaskier, even just a little. 

“I can finish you off too,” Jaskier sat up, “only if you want to.” 

“I’m fine,” Geralt handed Jaskier a tissue to clean off himself. Geralt wasn’t sure if he was comfortable enough to have Jaskier do that just yet. Even though he really wouldn’t be seeing any of the scarrings on his thighs it still made him anxious about the thought. 

“Okay…” Jaskier whispered, wiping off any leftover cum on his stomach and cock before climbing under the covers “Baby steps.” 


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning: Talk of past Tra*ma

Geralt was sitting in the college cafeteria scanning his textbook, reviewing notes, rewriting things. Midterms were starting in 2 weeks and Geralt wanted to get a head start on trying to get things to stick in his brain. 

Eskel had joined him in the studying, well mostly he was planning what days he would study which classes and for what amount of time. 

No one had heard much from Coen since the party but he was going to meet them to lunch after class. Aiden and Lambert had skipped their classes to spend the day relaxing together since Lambert really needed it. 

“Hey, you guys look busy,” Coen said sliding into a seat at the table with a tray of random items of food.

“Where have you been?” Eskel barked, narrowing his eyes at Coen who just held his hands up like Eskel was about to shoot him.

“I had a threesome” Coen mumbled out, “and I stayed with them all weekend.” 

“Oh,” Eskel looked at him weird then thought about it “OH!”

“I guess that makes sense, you left with 2 people” Geralt looked up from his textbook.

“Yeah, honestly the coolest thing of my life” Coen chuckled, “I have never felt so wanted in my whole life.” 

Geralt smirked, “Mhmm, I bet.” 

“How were your weekends? Hmm?” Coen wiggled his eyebrows at the two of them. 

“I went on another date with Priscilla, no threesomes or sex for that matter,” Eskel smiled, “But, I did get to kiss her at the end of the date so step in the right direction.”

“Lame,” Coen opened his bottle of soda, looking at Geralt “You?” 

“I gave Jaskier a handjob,” Geralt shrugged, looking back down at his notes. 

“Excuse me you’re just going to brush that off as nothing?” Coen nearly almost shouted out loud, “You gave him a handjob!?”

“SHHH, shut up” Geralt frowned, “Yes I did, okay? Don’t make a big deal out of it.” 

“Dude you could barely let him kiss you a few weeks ago, it’s kind of a big deal.” Eskel smiled, patting Geralt on the back. “Did you let him give you one at least?” 

“No, it was one-sided but small successes” Geralt took a deep breath. 

“It’s a big step,” Coen smiled, “Did you like it?” 

“It was nice,” Geralt muttered “Just I feel like...I might be going too slow for him.”

“Does he seem angry or annoyed?” Eskel raised an eyebrow, 

“No,” 

“Then you’re fine,” Coen took a drink of his soda, twisting the top back on. “Have the two of you tried masturbating together?” 

Geralt shook his head, “No,” 

“Mutual masturbation can build intimacy and strengthen the connection between the two of you,” Coen rubbed his mouth with the back of his hand. “It will probably help you become more comfortable with the idea of sex.” 

Geralt had never thought about doing that, he wouldn’t even have to get undressed to do that or worry about panicking about Jaskier touching him when he’s not ready. 

“You’re like a sex wizard,” Eskel looked surprised even though he knows what Coen studies.

“Well, I’ve been around the block” Coen chuckled, “Do you think that you would be comfortable with Geralt?” 

“Maybe,” Geralt sighed “Fucking so stupid that this is a problem for me.” 

“It’s not, trauma is a tricky thing, everyone deals with it differently,” Eskel stated, “Lambert is angry all the time because of his trauma.” 

“Yeah, but isn’t that a normal reaction?” Geralt leaned his head onto his hand, Geralt felt like the way Lambert dealt with things was more of the manly way of dealing with things. A better way than being in fear of everything.

“Again, everyone is different, the way you deal with it is just as normal as his.” Eskel stood up, “Don’t feel bad about, do you want a coffee?” 

“Uh, sure,” Geralt studders, He was glad to have friends that knew a lot about these types of things and never pressured him into talking about what happened with his mom. Eskel had put the pieces together himself just by watching and listening to Geralt that something traumatic happened to him yet still never asked about it. 

“Black?” Eskel asked, 

“Mhmm,” Geralt hummed, looking back at Coen as Eskel walked away. “So, do I watch porn with him?”

“You could,” Coen smirked, “I can send you some resources if you want?” 

“Yeah, I’d like that” Geralt nodded, he wanted to be able to do some with Jaskier even if it couldn’t be sex. 

“So where are Lambert and Aiden?” Coen questioned, taking another drink of his soda. 

“Taking a day to themselves,” Geralt pulled out his phone to see if Jaskier was done class yet, Still too early. “Aiden got them a fancy hotel room with his family’s money.” 

“Oh nice, hopefully, it helps calm down Lambert.” Coen sighed with relief, 

“Mhmm,” Geralt had really hoped so, Lambert was getting out of hand and dangerous. 

“Here you go,” Eskel placed the coffee in front of Geralt. “Aiden texted me, Lambert’s napping.” 

“Well, that’s a start” Geralt grabbed the coffee and popped the top off of it, “Thanks.” 

“A start indeed.” 

* * *

The sheets on the hotel bed were the softest thing Lambert had ever felt in his life. The mattress literally swallowed him whole when he had laid down in it. He wondered how much Aiden had paid for it but every time he asked Aiden would just say ‘thank daddy for it.’   
Lambert rolled over hoping to find Aiden in the sea of bedsheets but found an empty void. He cracked one of his eyes open to look “Aiden?” 

“I had to piss,” Aiden called from the bathroom, a sound of the toilet flushing echoed through the walls of the hotel room. Lambert sighed and rolled on to his back, He wondered how long he had fallen asleep for it felt like ages. 

“You sleep well?” Aiden came out of the bathroom now too long after, half-naked sporting his lean muscles. Lambert was always confused about how he fell in love with a man, He had never been interested before Aiden came along.

“Fine,” Lambert tried to sit up but the bed was so soft that he stopped trying and sighed. 

“So besides sex and sleep what do you want to do?” Aiden flopped down beside him, smiling. 

“Whatever,” Lambert yawned. He only came to make Aiden happy none of this was going to change that on Friday his father was going to have a parole hearing to figure out if he was ready to get back into the world.

“There is a spa, we could get massages,” Aiden suggested, 

“Not a big fan of strangers rubbing my body,” Lambert frowned, “But you can go if you want.” 

“This is about y--” Aiden was cut off by Lambert sighing. 

“Aiden, I know you mean well but none of this is going to change anything.” 

“Well, you won’t talk to me about it…” Aiden sighed, 

That was one thing that Aiden did that reminded Lambert of his Mom when someone felt sad she would do anything in her power to make them feel better. Even if the person didn’t deserve it. 

“What is fucking talking about it going to do?” Lambert rolled over on his side and propped himself up on his elbow. 

“To get it off your chest,” Aiden's golden eyes seemed to darken as he frowned.

“I don’t see how that is going to make things just go the fuck away,” Lambert looked away from Aiden’s eyes.

“It’s not, but it will help you get through it,” Aiden sat up, “Holding everything in and pretending it doesn’t exist is not a good way of handling things.” 

Lambert sighed, going silent, almost everyone knew what his Father did but he never talked about what happened. He never talked about his mother unless it was with Geralt. The last thing he needed was people feeling sorry for him. 

Lambert took a sharp inhale, feeling his chest burning with rage. He looked back at Aiden whose brow was furrowed, the same look his mother would give him when she was disappointed. 

“I’m just angry,” Lambert growled out,

“That’s pretty clear but why?” Aiden moved closer to Lambert. 

“Because he killed my Mom, the sweetest thing to walk the earth,” Lambert clenched his jaw “And now our justice system wants to throw him back onto the street? They should have shot him and pissed in his face for what he did to her and what he did to me.” 

“Were you there when it happened?” Aiden looked like he didn’t want to know the answer. 

“Yes, He made me watch.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another short chapter with a little change POV for a tiny bit! I hope you liked it <3


	19. Chapter 19

“That is just fucked up” Aiden was pacing the length of the hotel room, Lambert had explained in every little detail what had happened with his Father. Surprisingly he wasn’t sorry for him he was angry just like Lambert was. 

“Aiden, come here,” Lambert was sitting on the edge of the bed watching him pace. Aiden kept walking, angrily mumbling to himself, honestly telling Aiden about it didn’t make him feel any better it kind of made him feel worse. Lambert grabbed Aiden’s arm as he walked in front of him, pulling him closer. 

“This why I didn’t want to tell you,” Lambert slid his hands onto Aiden’s hips

“How could he make his 10-year-old son watch as he beat his mother to death.” Aiden took a sharp breath as he placed his hands on either side of Lambert’s face. 

“He’s a fucking monster,” Lambert stated, his blood boiling just from the thought of that moment in his life. The thought of his father literally burned.

Aiden rubbed the stubble on Lambert’s face with his thumb, “I’m sor--” 

“Don’t,” Lambert groaned, “I don’t want to hear it.” 

Aiden ran his fingers along Lambert’s jawline, looking down into his eyes, “I love you.” 

“I know,” Lambert smiled, He hadn’t had the guts to say it out loud but he was sure Aiden knew, he had to have known. Lambert pulled Aiden closer and kissed his abs making Aiden let out a small gasp. How is Aiden so god damn beautiful?

“It will be one of life’s mysteries…” Lambert whispered against his skin,

“What?” Aiden chuckled, “What are you mumbling about?”

“How beautiful you are,” Lambert kissed Aiden’s stomach again, smiling. He knew this would distract Aiden from everything they just talked about.

Aiden moaned, “When did you get so sweet?” 

*** * ***

From: Jaskier :Heart:

I’m bringing back food, what do you want?

Seen at 6:34 PM

From: Sweetest boy :Heart:

Whatever you’re having.

Seen at 6:35 PM

Geralt hated it when Jaskier had late classes because it meant he would have to be alone. They texted all the time even when they were apart but it wasn’t really the same as being with him. Geralt hated how clingy he had gotten even if Jaskier didn’t seem to mind it…

Geralt sat up in Jaskier’s bed, scrolling through the site Coen had sent him, It had been helpful explaining different ways that mutual masturbation can be done and how important it was for couples to do. 

From: Jaskier :Heart: 

This line is so long. :Sad face: 

Seen at 6:43 PM

From: Jaskier :Heart: 

I miss you. 

Seen at 6:43 PM

From: Sweetest Boy :Heart:

I miss you too.

Seen at 6:44 PM

Geralt smiled, dropping his phone into the bed, he couldn’t wait for Jaskier to get back with him being so busy today Geralt had only had seen him for a few minutes in the afternoon. Geralt walked to the bathroom to look into the mirror, using Jaskier’s brush to clean up his mess of hair. He wanted to look somewhat nice even though his face wasn’t much to look at, Geralt honestly didn’t see what Jaskier saw in him. 

He ran his hand along his jawline, feeling the rough stubble growing on his skin. He wondered if he grew out his beard he would be better looking or maybe he was just a lost cause. 

“Hey, I’m back,” Jaskier sang from the door, “I got food!” 

Geralt’s stomach got butterflies just from the sound of his voice, He poked his head out from the bedroom. “Hey, how was class?” Geralt mumbled, walking up to him to help with the bag of food he had. 

“Alright, it was boring” Jaskier smiled at the sight of Geralt, letting him take the bag of food out of his hands. Geralt walked it over to the table and took the two boxes out of the paper bag. 

Jaskier went up behind Geralt, wrapping his arms around his waist, Geralt stopped what he was doing just to focus on Jaskier’s strong arms against him. 

“You okay?” Geralt whispered, 

“Yeah, I just wanted a hug.” Jaskier squeezed Geralt a little harder, humming with excitement. 

Geralt grabbed Jaskier’s hands, breaking them apart so he could turn around to face him. Jaskier’s blue eyes were gleaming as the overhead lights bled down from the ceiling. “I have something I want to ask you,” Geralt slid his hands onto Jaskier’s hips. 

Jaskier smiled, “What?” 

“Uh..” Geralt swallowed hard, nervous about even asking it. It was definitely a weird thing to ask, hey, you want to masturbate with me?

“What?” Jaskier chuckled, 

“...Do you want to…” Geralt felt his face get hot, and he got an uneasy feeling in his stomach. “Do you want to....masturbatewithme?” Geralt said, the last part really finished. 

“I’m sorry?” Jaskier smirked, “I didn’t quite hear that?” 

“Will you masturbate with me?” Geralt half-shouted it making Jaskier laugh. 

“Yes,” Jaskier laughed out, “Yeah, let’s eat first though.” 

Geralt nodded, feeling shame pooling in his chest for even asking that in the first place. He felt so stupid and weak. 

“I got us burgers,” Jaskier sat down at the table, popping open the white box in front of him. Geralt nodded and sat down, feeling more nervous around Jaskier than normal. 

The two of them sat quietly eating for a while before Jaskier broke the silence, “So my sister might go steady with Eskel.” 

“Yeah,” Geralt took another bite of his burger, “Heard she kissed him on their last date.” 

Jaskier smiled, “Yeah, she really likes him. You’re a good matchmaker Geralt” 

“Lambert calls me a pimp,” Geralt swallowed, “But it’s just luck.” Geralt honestly wasn’t sure if Priscilla and Eskel would work out; they were just both single so why not try things out.

“Really?” Jaskier laughed, “A pimp?”

Geralt shrugged, “Lambert as a weird way of poking fun at people.” 

Jaskier slid his hand onto Geralt’s thigh, rubbing the inside of it with his thumb. It made Geralt’s lower body fill with heat as Jaskier slid his hand up to Geralt’s thigh closer to his crotch without touching it.

“How was your day?” Jaskier purred,

“Uh, good,” Geralt swallowed hard, “Do you want to go to the bedroom?” 

“Do you want to?” Jaskier sounded sexier than normal as he leaned forward, getting closer to Geralt. 

“Yup,” Geralt stood up quickly abandoning his half-eaten food, He grabbed Jaskier’s hand and led him to Jaskier’s bedroom. 

“Come here,” Jaskier sang, pulling Geralt into a sloppy kiss, moulding against his form. Geralt loved Jaskier’s aggressiveness when it came to intimacy even if it sometimes scared him. 

Geralt wrapped his arms around Jaskier, holding him close as they swapped spit, They stayed like this until they both lost their breath. Jaskier pulled away with a smirk, dragging his lips down Geralt’s neck planting soft kisses as he went. 

Geralt gasped, grabbing ahold of Jaskier’s soft brown hair as Jaskier licked his way back up to his mouth. Geralt was at a loss for words, his heartbeat ringing in his eyes as a part of him panicked.

“So, rules are we only touch ourselves?” Jaskier purred, pushing Geralt toward the bed. 

“Yes,” Geralt breathed out, laying down on the bed as Jaskier climbed on top of him. 

“What will our safe word be?” Jaskier smirked, planting a kiss on Geralt’s lips making him long for more. 

“Safeword?” Geralt looked confused, why would they need a safe word?

“If things are not going well for you, you say the word picked and we stop,” Jaskier ran his hand down Geralt’s chest making his way to the hem of Geralt’s jeans. 

“Roach,” Geralt mumbled, it was the only word he could think of, it kind of felt weird using his dog’s name from back home. 

“Okay,” Jaskier chuckled, sitting up, still straddling Geralt’s thighs as he undid Geralt’s jeans and then his own. Geralt just tried to keep his focus on Jaskier even though his brain was telling him to stop. 

“You okay?” Jaskier asked as he pulled his angry cock out of his pants, Geralt’s face flushed red as he nodded more than he needed too. 

Jaskier smiled, “do you want to get yourself out or do you want me to do it?” Jaskier raised his eyebrow. Geralt kind of forgot they were doing it together and reached down to pull out his rock hard cock. Jaskier's eyes watched, making him embarrassed since it was the first time Jaskier had seen it outside of his pants.

“Wow,” Jaskier whispered, Geralt was a pretty big guy in more ways than one...

Jaskier leaned down to kiss Geralt, already pumping away at his own cock. When Jaskier broke the kiss, Geralt watched him touch himself for a bit, seeing the pleasure in Jaskier’s eyes, the sweet moans coming from his lips. 

Geralt joined, trying to keep the same pace Jaskier had on his own cock. He wondered what Jaskier’s smooth hands would feel like on his cock if it would be better than his own hand. 

Jaskier kissed Geralt again, moaning deep into Geralt’s soul. Geralt grabbed Jaskier’s hand to stop him for a moment. 

“What?” Jaskier panted, “What’s wrong?” 

Geralt moved Jaskier’s hand onto his own cock, 

“You sure?” Jaskier asked, keeping his hand still in fear to spook Geralt. 

“Yeah,” Geralt breathed out, Jaskier slowly ran his hand up Geralt’s shaft. His soft hands felt amazing against Geralt’s flesh, Geralt reached for Jaskier’s cock following the same pace as Jaskier again. 

“Does that feel good?” Jaskier breathed out, spiralling his palm on the tip of Geralt’s cock making pleasure roll through his stomach. 

“Fuck, yes” Geralt moaned out, fuck he wanted more of this, Geralt was so overwhelmed by the pleasure that he had basically stopped working Jaskier’s cock. 

“Move your hand,” Jaskier whispered, Geralt followed the order letting Jaskier take over since he was nearly useless against Jaskier’s hand. 

Jaskier pressed their cocks together, wrapping his hands around both of them and working the two of them as one. 

“Fuck,” Geralt arched his back, the pleasure being almost unbearable as another wave shock through his body. 

It wasn’t long before the two of them came, erupting on to Geralt’s shirt in a white sticky mess. Jaskier rolled off Geralt, laying down beside him, catching his breath “Wow,”

Geralt laughed, “Yeah, wow.” 


	20. Chapter 20

“Define demand characteristics as they relate to confounding variables.” Geralt was hanging upside down off the bed, a pile of q-cards in hand trying to help Eskel study. The guys had been using Aiden’s room for their studying since the library at the school had been packed. It made it very uncomfortable for all of them to fit in such a small space but they made it work.

“clues the participants discover about the intention of the study that alters their responses” Eskel didn’t even pause to think about it. Geralt flipped the card reading the back of it “yup,” and just throwing it on the ground. 

“What are you two studying?” Lambert was lying on the ground beside Aiden who had his notes spread everywhere mixing with Lambert’s in complete chaos. 

“Psychology,” Eskel grabbed a card off Aiden’s desk taking a moment to read it. “Name the seven parts of a neuron.” 

“Fuck, you’re going to give me that one?” Geralt sighed, trying to remember all the different parts of the neuron, “dendrites, cell body….uh.”

“I know you know this Geralt,” Eskel smiled, 

Coen laughed beside Geralt on the bed, “Maybe if you were not hanging upside down you would think better.” 

“Axon, myelin sheath, Fuck” Geralt sat up, repeating what is already said under his breath. 

“Fuck is definitely not one of them,” Eskel chuckled, “You got 4 of them right.” 

Geralt sighed, “Psychology is not my career path,” Geralt was honestly not doing so great in this class even with Eskel’s guiding hand. He had been in school for a little over 2 months and still hadn’t figured out what he wanted to do next year.

“Dendrites, cell body, axon, myelin sheath, terminal buttons neurotransmitter, synapse/synaptic cleft.” Lambert growled out causing everyone to go silent, “What? I’m not fucking wrong.” 

“No, you're not…I thought you were a Criminology and Criminal Justice Major?” Eskel looked shocked that Lambert knew words besides Fuck. 

“You know I need to learn basic Psychology right?” Lambert raised his eyebrow at his brother. 

“Ah, I didn’t, You never talk about your classes ever.” Eskel dropped the card on the ground. “Or what happened during your little getaway with Aiden.” 

“We had a lot of sex” Aiden mocked, turning to a blank page of his notebook. “Like a lot.”

“So much neither of us could walk,” Lambert shrugged,

“I feel like you two are lying,” Coen sighed, climbing off the bed to leave the room for the bathroom. Geralt had a feeling they were lying too, neither of them were ever that vocal about their sex lives unless asked.

“You talked about your feelings didn’t you?” Eskel asked, kind of with slight excitement. 

“We di--” Aiden was just about to say something before Lambert kissed him deeply. Yup, they were hiding something. 

“That is not helping your case, the two of you never kiss in front of people.” Geralt mumbled, shaking his head. Lambert gave Geralt the finger as he continued to kiss Aiden with tongue and everything. Eskel looked less than pleased, “Get a room, fuck.” 

Geralt sighed, pulling out his phone to see if Jaskier had texted him that he was done having dinner with his parents. 

_ From: Jaskier :Heart: _

_ I think the best thing you could do for me right now is killing me. _

_ Seen at 6:23 PM _

_ From: Sweetest boy :Heart: _

_ It’s that bad? _

_ Seen at 6:25 PM _

_ From: Jaskier :Heart:  _

_ Yesssss.  _

_ Seen at 6:27 PM _

“You know who else never told us about their evening is Geralt,” Coen walked back into the room smiling through his beard. 

“You didn’t tell us about your threesome…” Geralt mocked, rolling onto his stomach looking at his phone. 

“Coen who were they?” Lambert raised his eyebrow as he pulled away from Aiden who seemed dazed from the passion just thrusted upon him. 

“Pfft, I don’t kiss and tell,” Coen flopped down onto the bed beside Geralt. 

“Yet, you want to know everyone else’s business?” Lambert sighed,

“Eh, fair point” Coen replied, resting his head into his hands. “Well, this drop-dead gorgeous couple was hitting on me at the bar. I honestly thought I was reading the signs wrong, but it turns out I wasn’t.” 

“Get to the good part,” Aiden leaned his head on Lambert’s shoulder. 

“Now was it two guys, two girls, a guy and a girl? I need details,” Eskel turned his chair to face Coen. Geralt liked how much Coen had broken out of his shell, going from barely talking to any of them to telling big stories of his personal life. Watching all of his friends grow and change from the support they gave each other over the last few months was amazing.

“A guy and a girl,” Coen smiled, “The guy had these beautiful grey eyes that just popped against his brown skin.” Coen sounded like an art critic as he talked about the man’s beauty, “--And the woman was stunning, with raven black hair and these violet--”

Geralt felt his heart jump out of his chest and he nearly shouted as he cut Coen off “I’m sorry what?” 

Coen narrowed his eyes at Geralt, “She had violet eyes…?” 

Geralt swallowed hard, feeling all the blood drain from his face. I couldn’t be Yen? She didn’t even live in this city. She was still back home because she wanted to stay close to her parents. 

“What was her name?” Geralt choked out, feeling his stomach turn upside down with just the thought Coen could have… 

“Yennefer…?” Coen looked confused, He must have not heard him and Triss talking at the meetings and making the connection that she was, in fact, Geralt’s ex.

“Well, that is my ex-girlfriend.” Geralt was trying so hard to keep his cool, he wasn’t angry with Coen he was angry with her. She always found her way back to him in the weirdest ways, they had been on and off for years in a toxic dance. 

The feeling in the room changed, Coen looked like a puppy who was about to get hit for something bad he did. 

“Your kidding right?” Coen breathed out,

Geralt unlocked his phone, scrolling through old photos to find one of him and Yennefer from over a year ago. “Is this her?” Geralt put the phone in Coen’s face. 

“Yeah…Shit man, I didn’t know” Coen stumbled, 

“You broke bro code number one” Eskel clicked his tongue as he shook his head. 

Geralt sighed, Yennefer did this all the time when she wanted him back. Had sex with one of his friends to make him jealous so she could reel him back into her chaotic little world. They were a bad match and he knew that now from having Jaskier love and care for him the way he does. 

“It’s fine,” Geralt ran his fingers through his hair, “She used you to get to me.” Geralt went through his contacts, finding Yennefer’s number, “Just watch, also can I have someone else's phone for a second.” 

“Uhh, Sure” Eskel handed him his unlocked phone. Geralt pulled up the browser and put gay porn on leaving it on mute before he dialled Yennefer’s number and put it on speaker. 

Everyone in the room stayed quiet listening to the phone ring waiting for her to pick up. 

“Hello Geralt, I’ve been waiting for you to call, How’s Coen?” Yennefer’s voice purred on the other end of the line. Geralt unmuted the video, letting the two guys moan into the phone. He wanted to make a statement that he was over her even if it was childish. Eskel covered his mouth trying not to laugh, Coen looked impressed with Geralt? Why did he look impressed? 

It took about 2 minutes for Yennefer to hang up on the other end and Geralt turned off the porn and handed Eskel back his phone.

“...Well, I guess I'll have to clear my History again,” Eskel mumbled, grabbing the phone and sliding it back into his pocket.

“She planned this, you were probably systemically picked to play as a pawn in her chess game.” Geralt sighed, feeling his throat burn as he talked since he was trying not to cry even though he really needed too. “I hope you didn’t give her your number.”

“I didn’t,” Coen put his hand on Geralt back, making him tense up and pull away. “I’m sorry…”

“The two of you must have had a pretty toxic relationship,” Aiden stood up, walking over to the bed to take a seat. 

Geralt stared at his phone hoping for Jaskier to message him so he could get out of this situation. He wanted peace from his life back home yet here it was following him around like the plague. Why couldn’t Yen have just fallen in love with Triss and left him alone? Geralt hadn’t even asked Triss how things went with her, maybe she was doing this to get back at Triss? 

“Geralt you can talk to us,” Eskel pulled his chair closer to the bed. 

“I don’t want to,” Geralt exhaled, trying to look at anyone, every part of his body was burning but was also numb, he felt like he was going to throw up… 

“Don’t crowd him,” Lambert stood up, grabbing Aiden Gently by the arm to pull him away from Geralt. 

Geralt just wanted Jaskier, he needed Jaskier, Geralt knew that the guys were trying to be helpful but no one knew how to stop a panic attack as Jaskier did. Maybe he should call him, or text him. It would be a good excuse for him to leave the dinner he hated being at already. 

Geralt felt tears fall down his face and he quickly wiped them away. He was on the edge of a panic attack that he hadn’t even noticed that Eskel had cleared the room and sat back down in front of him. 

“Sit up,” Eskel ordered, helping him get into a sitting position, “Now take a deep breath through your nose.”

Geralt sucked in a shaky breath, feeling his lungs burning. 

“Slowly let it out,” Eskel whispered, “Deep breath again.”

Eskel walked him through the steps three more times before saying “Now cough deeply.” 

Geralt looked confused but did it anyway. The two of them repeated this about 5 times before Geralt had noticed that he was so focused on his breathing he kind of forgot about everything. His body wasn’t tensed up anymore and his lungs didn’t burn with fire. 

“You okay?” Eskel placed his hand on Geralt’s shoulder with a gentle smile. Geralt nodded, “You're going to be a great therapist.” 

Eskel laughed, “Maybe, someday,” Eskel grabbed Geralt’s phone off the bed. “Now, back to being your friend, fucking delete her out of your fucking phone, what is your password?” 

Geralt smiled, “I don’t have one, you can just unlock it”

“Wow, like to live life dangerously?” Eskel unlocked the phone and started going through stuff in Geralt’s phone, deleting anything about Yennefer on it, her contact info, photos. 

“That’s a good photo of you and Jaskier,” Eskel whispered, “I know you're not out of the closet yet but if you want to make a statement you should post it on Facebook.”

Eskel was looking at the photo Jaskier took when Geralt was sleeping, Jaskier was spooning him smiling sweetly with his face in Geralt’s hair. 

“Now, that is just toxic advice,” Geralt laughed, 

“Hey, I said I was your friend right now so I can be an asshole.”


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning: Flashback of past ab*se

Geralt heard beeping that woke him up from his dreamless sleep, He pushed his face deeper into the soft fluff of the pillow under his head. It was probably just Jaskier’s alarm, nothing important. After a few seconds, the beeping stopped and Jaskier's arm wrapped around Geralt tightly. 

“Good morning,” Jaskier purred, placing a kiss just below Geralt’s ear. Geralt groaned, barely being able to open his eyes. How was Jaskier so alive in the mornings? 

“Grumpy baby,” Jaskier chuckled against Geralt’s skin kissing down to where his T-shirt starts. Geralt groaned as he rolled over to face Jaskier pulling him into a kiss, “You should go brush your teeth.” Geralt smiled slightly, opening his eyes to see Jaskier’s beautiful face. 

“Mhmm, good morning to you too” Jaskier smiled, placing another kiss onto his lips. “Did you sleep well?” 

“Mhmm,” Geralt played in Jaskier’s soft locks, just enjoying morning peace he loves so much. 

“Well, I had an amazing dream about you” Jaskier smirked, rubbing Geralt’s chest through his shirt. “You met my parents and things were going amazingly, they loved you as everyone should.” Jaskier moved a stray piece of hair out of Geralt’s face, “Then we had sex under the moonlight in the pool.” 

“Your parents have a pool?” Geralt grunted; He hoped at some point he could give Jaskier that fantasy. 

“I think you’re missing the point darling,” Jaskier chuckled, planting another kiss on Geralt’s lips and humming another of them as he thought of something else to say. “You're feeling good enough to watch my sister and I play tonight right?” 

“Yes, everyone is coming,” Geralt stared into Jaskier's eyes, loving the calmness that brought to his mind. “We need to keep Lambert busy, tomorrow is his dad’s hearing.” 

“Right, how is that asshole doing?” Jaskier sighed, 

“I don’t know,” Geralt hadn’t told Jaskier about everything that happened with Yennefer and Coen. Geralt hadn't spent any time with the guys since Tuesday; he hadn’t really left the outside of this room for that matter. He had faked sick yesterday and skipped class just so he could go through his thoughts about it. 

“Well, I guess we will see tonight then,” Jaskier smiled, “I’m going to go shower, you can go back to sleep.” 

Geralt entangled himself around Jaskier, pulling him closer so he couldn’t leave the bed. Jaskier started laughing, trying to playfully fight out of his grasp. “Geralt,” 

“Geralt, I need to go to class,” Jaskier laughed out loud. 

“You're trapped,” Geralt mumbled, kissing Jaskier’s bare shoulder. 

“Come on, I can’t be late again Geralt” Jaskier wiggled one of his arms out and tried to tickle Geralt’s side but Geralt rolled on top of him pinning his arms down. 

“No cheating,” Geralt narrowed his eyes at Jaskier who was biting his bottom lip, obviously enjoying this. 

“I love it when you get all aggressive like this,” Jaskier raised one of his eyebrows up, “But I need to go.” 

“5 more minutes,” Geralt leaned out and kissed Jaskier deeply, tasting his morning breath but he honestly didn’t care; he loved how Jaskier tasted no matter the time of day. Jaskier got one of his arms free and grabbed Geralt’s jaw to gently push him away. “Cuddles later,” Jaskier mumbled just before Geralt dropped his full weight on to him, probably knocking the wind out of him. 

“Cuddles now,” Geralt nestles his face into his Jaskier’s neck. 

“Oh, god, you really don’t know how much you weigh,” Jaskier choked out, rubbing Geralt’s back with his hands, “You’re such a big cuddly baby.”

“Mhmm,” Geralt hummed in agreement, breathing in Jaskier’s sweet scent. Jaskier was going to be gone until one in the afternoon and he wanted to spend every second he had with him. Geralt closed his eyes, feeling himself falling asleep as Jaskier traced with his fingers on his back.

“Okay, you got your 5 minutes,” Jaskier chuckled, tapping Geralt’s back to get him to get off. Geralt groaned, jumping a little from being woken up by his short-lived sleep. 

“Aww, I’m sorry” Jaskier kissed Geralt’s cheek, “I didn’t know you fell asleep.” 

“You should skip class…” Geralt breathed out, “...And stay in bed with me.” 

“I’d love too...But I have a group project due soon” Jaskier sighed, 

Geralt sighed and rolled off Jaskier, kind of feeling like he might be acting too needy for Jaskier, was he? 

“We can cuddle and stuff when I get back, okay?” Jaskier planted a kiss on Geralt’s lips before hopping out of bed. Maybe Jaskier enjoyed him being so clingy? 

Geralt rolled on his side watching Jaskier get his stuff together for when he got out of the shower. He was scanning his closet trying to figure out what to wear. Geralt always liked how much care Jaskier put into his own appearance even if that meant him taking forever to get dressed in the mornings. 

“What colour should I wear?” Jaskier mumbled to himself. 

“I like it when you wear light blue,” Geralt chined in, cuddling into his pillow. 

“Hmm, Blue it is,” Jaskier pulled out the light blue Hawaiian shirt. Geralt loved that shirt, it made Jaskier’s eyes glow brighter than normal. Geralt took a deep breath before burying his face into the pillow. 

“Do you think I’m too clingy?” Geralt mumbled, watching Jaskier checking out his own ass in the mirror. 

“No, I think you’re the perfect amount of clingy,” Jaskier looked back at Geralt and smiled. “Why?” 

“No reason…” Geralt yawned, closing his eyes as a weight lifted off his shoulders. Why was Jaskier the best person Geralt could ask for, even if he had his flaws, everything he did made up for what he did in the past. Geralt had drifted off into sleep shortly after, yet another dreamless sleep. He didn’t mind the empty void of inky blackness his mind left, it was calming not to see his past played back to him like a movie. 

He kind of hoped that he would drift into this numbing abyss until Jaskier got back from class, but unfortunately, it didn’t end that way. His brain had popped up old memories that were coated in fear and pain. His mother was in the living room holding the acceptance letter from the school he wanted to go to. Him explaining to her that it was a great experience It will be for him to explore things he wants to do with his life. Yet that is not what she wanted to hear,

“I can’t believe you!” She shouted, “Leaving me here all by myself? Do you only ever think about yourself?” 

“...You know that isn’--” Geralt was cut off by his mother throwing his glass of wine at him. He dodged just in time which seemed to make her angrier. 

“You ungrateful child, I put a roof over your head, food in your stomach yet when I need you most you decide you want to leave me?!” She walked up closer to him until he was backed up into a wall. The funny thing is Geralt was the one who kept that stuff on the table since he was old enough to work. 

His mother put her hand at the side of his face, her arms were covered bruising and track marks. Her forest green eyes met his filling with anger as Geralt had said nothing. Just the sound of her raising her voice at him was enough for him to be rendered useless. His heartbeat pounding in his chest screaming for him to run yet his body wouldn’t move. 

She laced her fingers into his hair, she always loved how long his hair was. “I need you, You’re my rock Geralt,” she whispered. 

“Mom, I Need thi--” Geralt started to explain himself before grabbing a lump of his hair, “FINE.” 

Geralt felt himself get pulled out of the dream the moment his head hit the wall behind him, he saw Jaskier leaning over him with worry as his eyes started to focus on reality. How long had he been sleeping for? 

“Hey, you’re okay” Jaskier laid his head on Geralt’s chest probably hearing his loud heartbeat echoing through his chest. Geralt wrapped his arms around Jaskier burying his face into Jaskier’s brown hair, smelling his sugary shampoo in his still wet hair probably from his shower. 

“I’m not leaving now…”

* * *

“Were going to have to leave soon” Jaskier mumbled into Geralt’s neck, the two of them had been cuddling all day ever since this morning. Geralt kind of felt guilty that Jaskier stayed with him and couldn’t help his group partners with their project but He was also happy he got to spend the whole day in bed with him.

Jaskier was laying on Geralt’s chest still only in his boxers since he never got dressed after his shower, their legs were entangled with each other as Geralt ran his fingers up and down Jaskier’s back. 

“Yeah…” Geralt breathed out, he really didn’t want their cuddle fest to end even if it was just for a little while. 

Jaskier popped his head up to look at Geralt’s face, “How are you feeling?” 

“I’m fine,” Geralt moved his hand to fix Jaskier’s hair, so he could get a full view of his eyes. 

Jaskier leaned in to kiss Geralt, softly the first few times then deeply the last. Sliding his tongue into Geralt’s mouth, flicking it against his. Geralt would never get over the soft sweetness of Jaskier’s mouth, Geralt probably tasted better than he normally did since he never even had a cigarette today. He had cravings for them but wanted Jaskier more. 

Jaskier’s hand slowly slid up Geralt’s shirt, testing the waters but he stopped the moment he got to Geralt’s belly button and just rested his hand on his abs. Geralt tensed up a bit, but slowly relaxed when he went Jaskier wasn’t going any farther. 

Geralt broke the kiss, “What are you doing?” 

“Slowly exposing you to the possibility of letting me at least feel your abs” Jaskier smiled, tracing his fingers on the lines of Geralt’s stomach making him shiver. 

“Didn’t you say we had to leave soon?” Geralt raised his eyebrows, 

“Yes, but I have a little bit of time to have fun first,” Jaskier slid himself down Geralt until he was able to kiss just above the hem of Geralt’s underwear. Geralt felt a spark shot through his body, as a gasp escaped his lips. 

Jaskier used his tongue to trace up Geralt’s abs stopping where he did before making Geralt moan loudly.

“You okay?” Jaskier asked, looking up at Geralt as he grabbed the hem of Geralt’s boxers in his teeth. 

“Yeah, just don’t take them off,” Geralt breathed out, as Jaskier pulled down his boxers enough just for his hard dick to be out. Jaskier grabbed a hold of it before dropping his mouth around it making Geralt see stars. 

“Ah, fuck!” Geralt moaned out feeling overwhelmed with pleasure. Yennefer used to give Geralt blow jobs all the time but they never felt this good, Jaskier was a master with his tongue swirling around his cock. Even if he couldn’t get the whole thing in his mouth he was doing his best and oh god it felt amazing. He tried not to touch Jaskier's head even though he really wanted to, he just watched his partner work his magic on him. It honestly didn’t take long for him to cum, and it hit him hard and with no warning. He came into Jaskier’s mouth, feeling horrible he didn’t warn him but Jaskier didn’t seem to mind. Jaskier pulled his mouth off swallowing everything, even licking the leftover off the tip. 

Yennefer would never do that, she even would get mad at him if he didn’t warn her and she spit it out. Geralt had no idea how to feel about that, how was he supposed to feel about that? 

“Was that good?” Jaskier smiled, climbing out of the bed. 

“Amazin- Hey what about you?” Geralt sat up quickly watching Jaskier get into his skinny jeans. 

Jaskier chuckled, “Don’t have time, come on get dress”


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song in this chapter is Farewell Wanderlust by Joey Batey and Madeleine Hyland (The amazing devil) For full affect of the emotion in this chapter please listen to it <3  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4PSvYqYTBI8

Geralt was sitting at the bar with the guys as Jaskier and his sister helped set up for the show with the owner of the bar. They were only doing one song as the show opener tonight so Geralt was hoping that meant they were not going to be here all night.

Geralt hadn’t really said much since they got there, he was still processing the blow job he just got. Why did it feel so good? Better than any he had ever had before? 

“Old Fashioned,” Lambert ordered his second drink and they hadn’t even been here an hour yet. “So Geralt, why do you look like someone kicked you in the nuts?” Lambert downed the rest of his drink and pushed the glass aside as he waited for his next one to come.

“What?” Geralt looked at Lambert furrowing his brow in confusion. 

“Is it still about Yennefer?” Coen mumbled from beside Geralt, immediately getting hit in the arm by Eskel on the other side of him. 

“No, It’s not that '' Geralt sighed, he honestly totally forgot about Yennefer. It's like Jaskier sucked all his brian cells out of his dick. 

“Then what is it?” Lambert asked after the bartender placed his drink down on the counter, Aiden grabbed it before him and took a drink out of it. “Hey, get your own!” 

“But I don’t want my own I want yours,” Aiden smirked and handed him his drink back. 

Geralt put his face in his hands, “I got a blow job that I don’t know how to process”

“Like was it bad?” Eskel asked, leaning on the counter to see Geralt better.

“No, it was really fucking good that’s the problem” Geralt groaned, 

“I really don’t understand why that is a problem,” Lambert took a drink. 

“I’m trying to figure out if it was because he is just really good at them or I’m just fully gay.” Geralt sighed into his hands, 

“What did I say about labelling yourself?” Coen frowned, nudging Geralt with his shoulder. 

“To be fair Geralt, most men have better intuition when it comes to blow jobs,” Aiden smiled, “because we have one so we know how one works inside and out.” 

“You say I’m horrible at giving head,” Lambert growled, 

“That is why I said most,” Aiden chuckled and kissed Lambert cheek. The two of them started being a little bit more physical in public since their little getaway even if it was just a little. 

“Question Geralt, is Yennefer the only other person you have slept with?” Coen asked, resting his chin in his hand. 

“Yeah,” Geralt uncovered his face, looked at Coen, “Why?” 

“Your bar for how good blow jobs are was set pretty low then?” Coen smirked. 

“Okay, I thought you said that the threesome was the best thing in your life?” Eskel chined in.

“Yes, but that doesn’t mean the crazy bitch wasn’t bad at blow jobs,” Coen clicked his tongue against his teeth and took a drink of his beer in front of him. 

Geralt narrowed his eyes at Coen trying to figure out if he was lying about that just to make him feel better about this or if it was really true. Maybe Jaskier was just better at it then Yennefer and he should just shut up and enjoy himself. 

“Glad you two are getting a bit closer though,” Coen tapped Geralt’s shoulder.

The bartender started pulling out shot glasses the moment the twins made their way to the bar, Jaskier looked confused as the guy filled the eight of them up with vodka. 

“John, why are you filling those? Our parents---” Jaskier gasped and looked around the room, “Our parents are here!?” 

“Yup, bottoms up” The bartender pointed to the booth in the back and every single of the guys looked over to the table. An older couple sat there too overdressed for a dive bar. 

When Geralt looked back at Jaskier, he and his sister were already two shots deep, “Whenever their parents come to watch them they order 4 shots each.” John, the bartender slid the bottle back under the counter as he explained what was going on. 

“I feel like your parents aren’t that bad,” Lambert scoffed, downing the rest of his drink. 

“You haven’t met them you can’t say that,” Jaskier downed his last shot, choking on the burn of the vodka. 

“I wouldn’t get into that argument with him right now,” Eskel mumbled to Jaskier. Which is right, no one could be as bad as his dad. 

“Just so you’re aware,” Priscila was unbuttoning the top of her shirt so her breasts were more on display. “Eskel, you need to be an asshole if they talk to you I have appearances to uphold.” She walked up behind him, wrapping her small arms around his waist. 

“Eskel an asshole?” Geralt frowned, “I don’t think that possible.” 

“Oh it is,” Eskel turns around to face her, “how bad do you need me on a scale of 1 to 10?”

“Like, maybe an 8” Priscilla smiled, “Thanks for playing along, Honey Bun” 

Eskel gave her a soft kiss on the lips, “No problem, Sweetcheeks.”

“Oh god, I want to throw up” Lambert faked a gag, making Coen die of laughter. Eskel and Priscilla were so cute it was sickening, but Geralt was kind of proud that he was the reason they got together. Jaskier winked at Geralt from down the bar, Jaskier probably hadn’t told his family about them which was understandable since Geralt was still in the closet. He wondered what they would think about him. Geralt looked back at Jaskier’s parents who were sipping wine barely talking to each other. Geralt could see where the twins got their beauty from…

“Sorry to pull my sister away from you Eskel but the show must go on,” Jaskier smiled, grabbing his sister’s hand with the grace of a prince. 

“Yes, we don’t want to keep the poor crowd waiting any longer!” Priscilla cried, as her brother pulled her along laughing. 

“God their lightweights,” Aiden mumbled, 

“They are like that all the time,” Eskel and Geralt sighed at the same time. 

“I don’t know how the two of you deal with that kind of energy all the time,” Lambert grunted, waving the bartender down for another drink. 

“It’s adorable,” Eskel stood up. “I’m going to have a smoke before they start,” Eskel walked past the twin’s parents who seemed upset by the look of him. Probably just because their daughter made up stories about him. 

“I wonder why Priscilla needs Eskel to act like an asshole” Coen took a drink of his beer. 

“Girl’s like to piss off their dads with bad boys,” Lambert stood up pulling a cigarette out of his pack, “I’m going to join him.” 

Geralt sighed, staring at his glass of soda on the counter. Eskel wouldn’t let him order anything with alcohol in it because of his medication. He was looking out for everyone even if it was hard on him. Was it going to be hard on him to help keep up this fake persona for Priscilla? 

“Hey, how’s Lambert? He seems oddly chill tonight,” Coen asked Aiden who shrugged. “He’s been oddly chill all day, I’ve been too scared to ask him about it because I don’t want to ruin his mood.” Aiden let out a sigh. 

“Is he still going to the parole hearing?” Coen took another drink, 

“Yup…” Aiden looked back at the front door of the bar waiting for Lamber to come back like a sad puppy. 

“He will be fine, and if he’s not, we will figure it out,” Geralt stated. 

“Yeah, his own band of misfits” Coen chuckled, Geralt nodded, taking a drink from his chilled glass just as the twins walked out on stage. Priscilla sat at the piano that was already on stage, Jaskier had his signature guitar with him; he moved the mic stand to the piano so he could sit atop it. 

It had been a while since Geralt had heard Jaskier sing, they were always too busy making out for him to sing so Geralt was really happy to get to hear him again. 

The moment Priscilla started to play the piano the whole bar went silent, her fingers glided along to the keys with grace and skill. Lambert and Eskel sat back down at the perfect time as her voice carried through the room. Jaskier singing little bits of harmony. 

_ You look like I need a drink he winked as he slipped from my grasp to the bar _

_ And you are? _

_ He said me? (me) Little me? (little me) _

_ He called from the brink of the day _

_ (He called from the brink of the day) _

_ He said ´Hey darling hey, hey darling hey´ _

_ I’m the hardest goodbye that you’ll ever have to say. _

Geralt’s eyes moved to the twin’s parent’s seeing how they reacted to their children as they performed. The mother seemed less than pleased with the song choice, Geralt had remembered they told him this song fits their life to a T. Maybe that is why she wasn’t pleased. 

_ You don’t know it yet, but I’m the cupid of things _

_ That you just didn’t get, that you struggled to say _

_ I’m the saint of the paint that was left in the pot _

_ I’m your angel ellipsis, your devil of dots _

_ Every time that you fumble, I’m the laugh from the back _

_ When you think about him, my wings start to flap _

_ When you make a mistake, my feet lift from the floor _

_ And when you lie there awake every night love, I soar _

_ I promise you I’ll be better _

_ I promise you I’ll try _

_ But like rubbing wine stains into rugs it’s my curse _

_ To try and make it right, but by trying make it worse _

_ I’m the heartbreak that aches far too much to be shunned _

_ All those letters unsent and that garden ungrown _

_ I’m the captain of courage you’ve eternally lacked _

_ I’m the Jesus of wishing to Christ he’ll come back _

Geralt tried to hang on every word she sang, every note the two of them played to get a sense of how they felt. The twins never showed much sadness or anger, Geralt had only seen Jaskier cry a handful of times. They were always different when they sang; it's like they saved all of their heartaches for their performances. 

_ Because Farewell Wanderlust, you’ve been oh so kind _

_ You brought me to this party but you left me here behind _

_ So long to the person you begged me to be _

_ She’s down. She’s dead _

_ Instead what is left but this old satin dress and the mess that you left when you told me I wasn’t right in the head _

Geralt took time to pause to look at the faces of his friends, Eskel was lost in the siren call of his beautiful girlfriend. A smile stuck on his lips as he watched her with pride. Coen wasn’t watching, but listening and feeling it as he stared into his glass on the counter. Lambert was too busy getting drunk to care and Aiden looked like he was about to cry which was pretty on-brand for him. He cried at almost every movie they ever watched together. Geralt looked back to the stage once he heard the two of them mix their voices together as it led into Jaskier’s solo part. 

_ ´You alright?´ _

_ Asked the boys from beyond _

_ You gave us such a fright _

_ We’d hate to see your mascara drip into your pint _

_ Might you allow me to slip into something more comfortable then? _

_ Be our guest. With hoik of her bra, she waved to the bar and she slipped into the night _

_ Come devil come, she sang, call out my name _

_ Let’s take this outside cos we’re one and the same _

_ Our gods have abandoned us, left us, instead _

_ Take up arms, take my hand, let us waltz for the dead _

_ I’m the face that stares back when the screen goes to black _

_ When your mum says ‘you look healthy’ but you know she means you got fat _

_ I’m the tales that the guests will applaud and believe _

_ I’m the child that you just didn’t have time to conceive _

Geralt heard the anger boiling up in Jaskier’s voice as he sang into the mic, you could see him staring at his parents in the back of the bar. The emotion kicking in as a tear slipped from his eye as he sang the next lyric with so much power Geralt could feel goosebumps all over his body.

_ I promise you I’m not broken _

_ I promise you there’s more _

_ More to come, more to reach for, more to hurl at the door _

_ Goodbye to all my darkness, there’s nothing here but light _

_ Adieu to all the faceless things that sleep with me at night _

_ This here is not makeup, it’s a porcelain tomb _

_ And this here is not singing, I’m just screaming in tune because _

Geralt looked over at Jaskier’s parents again, seeing a heated emotion on their faces as they listened to their children more or less tell them to  _ fuck off _ in perfect pitch. The two of them finished the song together, still their voices filled with emotion and anger he had no idea they were able to produce.

_ Because Farewell Wanderlust, you’ve been ever so kind _

_ You brought me through this darkness but you left me here behind _

_ And so long to the person, you begged me to be _

_ He’s down. He’s dead _

_ Now take a good long look at what you’ve done to me? _

_ S/He’s down, S/He’s dead _

_ S/He’s gone, S/He’s lost _

_ S/He’s flown, S/he’s fled _

_ Now take a good long look at what you've all done to me _

Geralt watched The twin’s parents stand up from their chair’s disappointment in their eyes. In themselves? Or their children is the best question. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next two chapters will be in Lambert's POV so I will be fixing tags when they come out, I really hope you're enjoying this story so far.


	23. Chapter 23

Lambert’s alarm sounded on his bedside table, waking him from a blissful dream he almost immediately had forgotten. Today was the day, the day he was so angry that it had to exist to start with. He entangled himself out of Aiden’s arms grabbing his phone to shut it off. He already had a text from his half-sister Renfri reminding him to be there in all caps.

“Time already?” Aiden groaned, placing a kiss on the back of Lambert’s neck. 

“Yeah,” Lambert sighed, rolling over to face Aiden who hadn’t even opened his eyes yet. Lambert combed his hair through Aiden’s beautiful brown curls. “You’re coming right?”

“Mhmm, wouldn’t miss it for the world” Aiden smiled, his fingers playing in Lambert’s chest hair. 

“Just remember, you are--” 

Aiden cut off Lambert midway “Your best friend, who is your moral support, I know, I wasn’t born yesterday.” Aiden rolled on top of Lambert, straddling his thighs “But right now I’m your very hot boyfriend.” 

“You are very hot but I’m really not in the mood,” Lambert placed his hands on Aiden’s hips, watching Aiden’s eyes wander to Lambert’s phone on the end table as it buzzed again. His eyes narrowing at it “Who’s Renfri?” 

Shit…He forgot he never told Aiden about his half-sister, Aiden was super jealous when it came to women when literally he only had eyes for Aiden, it was very rare for him to have feeling’s like this for anyone. 

“Uh, my half-sister,” Lambert groaned, “She’s just nagging me.” 

“You never told me you had a sister,” Aiden frowned down at him. 

“Half-sister, we share the same shitty father, we barely talk, there is nothing to say about her.” Lambert groaned, seeing that the answer didn’t change Aiden’s frown which means Aiden wanted him to apologize for not telling him. “Aiden, You’re being a pain” Lambert sighed. 

“Am I?” Aiden raised his eyebrow, “Or are you?” 

Lambert rolled his eyes “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about her.”

“See? That wasn’t so hard,” Aiden leaned down kissing Lambert on the lips, deeply and passionately. Aiden’s hot mouth against his knocked the wind out of him as he gasped against his lover’s touch. Lambert wrapped his arms around Aiden’s lean frame holding him close against his body, as he slid his tongue around Aiden’s in fury to make it last. 

Aiden breathed heavily out of his nose as he tried to gasp for air, but didn’t want to break apart. Lambert slid his hands down Aiden’s skin, the feeling’s the hard lines of muscle as he grabbed a hold of Aiden’s ass under his boxers.

Aiden groaned and pulled away from the kiss, “I thought you weren’t in the mood?” 

“Really? After you get all sexy on me like that?” Lambert smiled, 

“When do we have to be there?” Aiden rocked his hips against Lambert, making his moan as a wave of pleasure hit him. “Nine, if we rush we can have a qui--” Lambert was cut off by his cell phone going off. 

“Fuck off,” Lambert sighed, Aiden sat up sliding Lambert’s phone off the end table. “It’s Eskel, He never calls” 

What did Eskel want? Lambert really hoped it wasn’t something stupid he couldn’t handle stupid this morning. “Ugh, well moods ruined,” Lambert grabbed the phone from Aiden, answering it “What?” 

“Guess who fucking got laid!” Eskel loudly whispered into his phone, 

“Definitely not me,” Lambert sighed as Aiden got off of him walking out of the room. “Did you really just call me for that?” 

“Pfft, No, okay, yeah I did but how are you holding up?” Eskel mumbled on the other side of the phone, he sounded like he was trying to be as quiet as he could. Was Priscilla still with him? 

“Fucking perfect” Lambert groaned before hanging up the phone and throwing it on the bed. Lambert covered his face with his hands, feeling just overwhelmed by a wave of emotion now that he was fully awake. His brain exploded with rage, the thought of seeing his dad for the first time in almost 10 years just burned in his chest. He wanted the old fucker to rot in jail for the rest of his life. 

“Hey…” Aiden’s voice called from the door, “You okay?” 

Lambert moved his hands, seeing Aiden already dressed in a red button-down shirt and black jeans. “Eskel had sex” Lambert choked out as he sat up, sitting on the edge of the bed.

Aiden chuckled, showing his beautiful white teeth “That’s why he called?” 

“Yup,” Lambert sighed, getting to his feet walking to his closet. 

“So...This sister of yours,” Aiden leaned on the door frame. 

“Half-sister,” Lambert corrected, “She’s going to be there but she can’t actually go in...She applied to be an observer but the Superintendent didn’t like offences on her criminal record.” 

“What did she do?” Aiden looked worried, 

“Assault with a deadly weapon, robbery, stuff like that” Lambert pulled his dress pants out of the closet and slid them on. “She served 5 years when she was in high school.” 

“oh…” Aiden narrowed his eyes at Lambert “Do you have one?”

“Criminal record? No, I couldn’t be studying what I am if I had one,” Lambert put his belt through the loops in his pants. Vesemir kept him out of trouble, he was lucky to have a good foster home.

“Right,” Aiden smiled, he watched Lambert put on the dress shirt that he bought just for this hearing. He never liked the thought of getting all dressed up but he wanted to look nice when he told the parole board his dad was a fucking monster. 

“Here,” Aiden helped Lambert tie his tie, standing really close, breathing against Lambert’s neck as he focused. Lambert had only ever felt this sexual desire for one other person in his whole life. No one really knew this about him because he was so good at faking being a horny teenage boy, but the moment he got that spark with Aiden he knew he was fucked. 

“There,” Aiden smiled, fixing Lambert’s collar “I like you all dressed up.” 

Lambert smiled, grabbing Aiden by his shirt to kiss him “Don’t get used to it.” He whispered on Aiden’s lips. 

“I love you,” Aiden chuckled, wrapping his arms around Lambert’s waist. 

“I know,” Lambert kissed him again, wanting to say it back to bad it hurt but he was so scared he would fuck it up. 

“I’ll call us a taxi,” Aiden pushed Lambert away playfully, so Lambert could finish getting ready in the bathroom. Freshening up, sliding on his rings from important people in his life. 

*** * ***

When they reached Ottawa-Carleton Detention Centre, Lambert’s sister was already standing outside the building gates.

“Hey, you clean up nice,” Renfri smiled, she had cut her hair short since the last time he saw her. She pulled him into a hug, already smelling like alcohol covered by loads of perfume. “Who’s your friend?” 

“Aiden, this is Renfri,” Lambert brushed himself off after her hug looking back at Aiden. Renfri held out her hand for Aiden to shake, “Pleasure,” Aiden mumbled, grabbing her hand with a firm shake before letting go. 

She smiled, “You ready to meet dear old dad?” 

Lambert’s eyes were glued to the building, he took a deep breath feeling his lungs burning with wrath. “I did research, you know they’re probably going to let him out” Lambert grunted, as he clenched his teeth “It’s the only thing on his record, he served and behaved in prison.” 

“Where’s your fancy Foster dad?” Renfri asked, avoiding the inevitable. 

“Busy,” Lambert sighed, “He couldn’t leave work for this.” 

“But we're having dinner with him later” Aiden chined in, kind of looking annoyed by her and she has barely said anything. 

“Ah,” She rolled her eyes, pulling a water bottle out of her purse which was probably filled with vodka. She took a big drink out of it, making a face against the taste. 

“I have to go inside but Aiden is going to stay with you, maybe you guys can go and have lunch or something.” Lambert looked over at Aiden who didn’t look overly pleased with the idea. 

“Yeah, uh, I’m sure there is something nearby if you're okay with walking,” Aiden choked out, Renfri smiled at Aiden’s uncomfortable attitude, “Yeah, we will find something to do.” 

“Be nice,” Lambert pulled Aiden into a hug, a little more intimate than he wanted to do in front of his half-sister but he needed it. He felt like he wanted to punch someone so badly just to stop his skin from crawling. 

“I will, everything will be okay, okay?” Aiden whispered into his ear before pulling away from the hug and punching Lambert playfully in the arm to play it off like some kind of brotherly love. 

Lambert nodded and started to walk to the gate, his blood pumping so hard he honestly thought he was going to die. 

*** * ***

“Two pieces of ID,” a woman behind bulletproof glass mumbled, grabbing a plastic bin from a shelf beside her. 

Lambert pulled out his wallet and threw two pieces of his ID into the slot, she pushed the bin through after she grabbed the ID. “Empty your pockets in there,” 

Lambert sighed, looking at the guard beside him as he emptied his pockets. What was he going to do with a lighter and his cellphone? 

“Alright, Mr.Creyden I need your John Hancock on this line here” The woman had replaced the bin with a clipboard. Lambert quickly signed “How long is the hearing going to take?” 

“Depends,” She sighed, grabbing the clipboard “I’d expect a few hours, but you're all set.” She nodded at the guard beside Lambert. 

“This way,” The man grunted pointing to the gate that started buzzing as they walked up to it, sliding open on its own. Lambert has led a room where 4 people sat at a table in the back of the room. Another table was in front of it Where Lambert saw a face he remembered, his father’s Lawyer he didn’t know the fucker was still alive. 

“Over here,” The guard guided Lambert to a seat at the side of the room where he sat down. The man walked around to the corner of the room, standing post. 

Lambert started bouncing his leg as he waited, watching the people get their paperwork together. He was nervous to see his old man again, He didn’t even really remember what his face looked like anymore his brain had blocked his face in his memories. 

Then the door to the room opened again, a man in orange, hands and feet cuffed with linking chains. Flanked by two guards that led him to the table where his Lawyer was ready to shake his hand. Their eyes met for a moment, a smile spread across his father’s face when he finally noticed that Lambert was his son. Lambert clenched his teeth with anger, finally seeing his face in so many years.

God did they ever look alike. 


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning: Details about Mu*der and Ab*use

“And you are Fredefalk Creyden correct?” a well-dressed man sitting on the parole board at the head of the room asked, looking through the papers on his desk. 

“Correct,” Lambert’s father responded, his voice was toneless as he spoke. Just like Lambert remembered it.

“Alright, Mr. Creyden can you give me your OCDC number for the record?” The man asked with slight exhaustion in his tone. 

“16015,” Fredefalk itched his nose looking back at Lambert with another smile. Did the asshole think everything was all good between them now that he served time? Fuck Lambert really wanted to punch his lights out.

“Alright good morning Mr.Creyden, and you’re represented by whom this morning?” The man questioned, 

“Lawrence Reed my Lawyer,” Fredefalk answered, 

“Good morning Mr. Reed, alright so the first thing I’m going to do is put on the record is the notice of this hearing and your revision of rights,” The man pulled out a piece of paperwork handing it off to someone beside him “I’m just asking that you recognize your signature from me.” 

The paper was placed in front of Fredefalk and he narrowed his eyes at it, “Yes.” 

Lambert didn’t understand the fucking point of this, how many times did they bring the wrong guy to a hearing for this to be needed to be done each time. 

“Alright, thank you, now that you have recognized your signature I will declare for the record that you have been properly notified and we will move forward.” The man took a deep breath “I’m chairmen Vlad Kim, With me, this morning to my right is Commissioner Sherri Schwartz” the man pointed to a blonde woman who was combing through paperwork on the case. “And to my left commissioner Alejandro Duffy,” another man sat beside him, well dressed and totally unforced. “And to his left is Commissioner Dana Paine,” The women gave a light smile to Lambert’s father as just a kindness even though he didn’t deserve it. 

“We are seeing you this morning on a case sentence and that is case number 585354 Murder of the 2nd degree, and I have a parole eligibility date of January 27th, 2020 with a current expiration date of January 31st, 2025 is that correct?” 

“That is,” Mr. Reed nodded, tapping his pen on the desk as they talked. 

“Now is there anything that would change that eligibility date?” The chairman asked, 

“No, sir” Mr. Reed returned, 

Lambert grinded his teeth together, that date was the anniversary mother’s death. He was going to get let out on the day his mother died? What kind of sick joke was this? Lambert started fidgeting with one of his rings, sliding it around, it was one Aiden had given him at the start of the month as a small gift. It was a silver band with the Celtic knot weaved into it and if you looked close enough small wolves could be seen. 

“---ethical duty to consider each inmate for parole in a fair and consistent manner like other parole boards across the country are responsibilities include a meeting to balance prisoner Rehabilitation with Public Safety. As well as taking actions that consider the interest of justice so that's what we're doing here this morning--.” as the Chairman went on about how they did things, Lambert just kept staring at his father. How bad would the charges be if he just ran up to him now and punched his stupid face? Lambert took a deep breath, trying to just remember what Geralt had said ‘You are better than he is.’ 

“--So my first question for you Mr.Creyden is were you arrested for the first time at the age of 24 or older?” The chairman asked, 

“I was 38, so yes” Fredefalk mumbled, nearly emotionless so what was going on. 

“And am I correct that you have never been on parole or probation before therefore you have never had parole or probation revocation?” The chainmen flipped the paper in front of himself.

“That is correct,” Fredefalk looked back at Lambert again this time people noticed. 

“Is there a problem Mr.Creyden?” Commissioner Sherri asked, leaning forward in her chair. 

“No,” Fredefalk looked back up “Just haven’t seen my son in 10 years, he’s really grown into a handsome young man.” 

Lambert’s anger boiled over causing him to just word vomit, “No thanks to you!” one of the guards in the room moved forward to Lambert as he shifted back into his seat. Probably thinking he was going to lunge at him. 

“Your son is here on behalf of your victim Aridea Creyden, he will be making a statement against your release.” The chairman added, “But for now let’s continue have that you are unemployed at the time of this offence due to an injury at work,” 

“Yes,” Fredefalk answered, looking a little bit angrier the way Lambert remembered him the most. 

“Now, you have been assessed as a dangerous offender due to the murder charge, We have you as male and that you turned 48 last month.” The chairmen read off the page in front of him, “We don't have you as having any gang affiliation, we do know that you have completed one of our vocational training in I'm having completed the computer application course. We know that you have not had any disciplinary action that is either current or pending and that you're currently medium level at Ottawa-Carleton detention centre would you say that all of those items are correct sir?”

“Yes,” Fredefalk answered, 

“Your risk scores you in a low-- a low-risk however because of your particular offence that severity is that the highest when we combine your risk or along with your offensive severity. Our guideline recommendations are that we consider factors and what consider factors mean is we consider everything. In terms of whether or not your risk to re-offend and return to our criminal justice system----” 

Lambert zoned out again, trying to focus on what he was going to say, he didn’t write it down because just thinking about it made him feel sick and weak. Bringing him back to the useless kid who could do anything to stop him made him just so angry. Lambert didn’t catch much, but they got His father to explain his reasoning for the murder of his wife. Which was all lies, 

“---She was going to leave me, and she was going to take Lambert, my son with her. So I had stopped her from grabbing Lambert’s arm and she had hit me in the face pretty good And I pushed her back to defend myself and she had fallen down the stairs---” 

Lies, all, lies, 

“---I never meant to hurt her, let alone kill her.” 

“Well, that story is different from your records, The witness at the scene gave a different story altogether ” Commissioner Alejandro sighed. 

Fredefalk looked annoyed that he was told he was wrong because a 10-year old boy’s testimony meant more than his story. 

“Now, the real question is what do you think your impact on your victims were?” Commissioner Alejandro asked, looking over at Lambert quickly. 

“Well, I removed a mother from her child, causing loads of issues for my Son and Daughter. Both of them never even visited me once during this time so I can tell how much this has affected them. It’s the biggest mistake of my life.” 

Lies.

The board talked to him about all the courses he had completed during the time in prison. Like that made any difference to his personality. Like a class can teach you right from wrong after you murder someone’s mother, your wife. Those classes are not going to change anything about him, nothing. 

His father was just bull shitting his way through all the questions. saying it was going to help him be a better person and that Jesus will help guide him when he has never even been a religious person before. 

“When we grant offenders parole one of the conditions we impose is that you pay court to order restitution to the victims---”

Lambert drowned it out, he didn’t care about money he just wanted him to stay in fucking jail. He didn’t deserve to walk free. Lambert kept playing with his ring, thinking about Aiden. Those amber eyes, how smooth his skin was, how he looked after football practice on a hot day. Lambert took a deep breath closing his eyes as he tried to clear away the anger. 

Lambert had missed His father’s lawyer’s closing statement because they called Lambert’s name. Making his father stand up so they can switch places. Lambert shot up quickly, trying to pass by his father without looking at him. He took the same seat his father sat at. 

“Can you state your own name on a record then you can proceed?” The chairmen asked, 

“Lambert Creyden and I’d like to thank you for the opportunity to speak today on behalf of my mother Aridea Creyden.” Lambert took a deep breath, it was going to be hard to do this without saying the word fuck 80 times. 

“Even though this is my father’s only criminal offence that he got slammed for it wasn’t the only thing he did. He is a royal fu-- screw up, he beat my mother and me many times. Even my Half-sister who couldn’t be here today wasn’t safe from the terror in that house” Lambert paused clenching his teeth, “The night my mother was killed by his hands was by far the worst night of my life. My mother had bought bus tickets for the three of us to leave, He wasn’t pleased when we tried to leave. He had locked my sister in the bathroom that was connected to the bedroom...” Lambert cleared his throat. “Sorry-- He had beat her to death in front of me in a blind rage, while I was in the bedroom too scared to move. If you let him out, he will do it again, to someone else and Jesus isn’t going to change that.” Lambert leaned forward in his chair, “Even though he has been a model fucking citizen behind bars doesn’t mean he is a better person, he doesn’t deserve a second chance, Thank you” 

  
  


* * *

Lambert had barely been functional as he was guided out the prison, signing off on getting his items back, being walked through gates. The buzzing echoed in his head like a disappointing reminder of what just happened. The moment he got out of the building being walked to the final gate he called Aiden. 

“Hey, all done?” Aiden’s voice called on the other line. 

“Yeah,” it took every ounce of strength he had to not cry as he talked. “Where are you two?” 

“At a park nearby,” Aiden paused, “You okay?” 

“He’s getting out,” Lambert breathed out watching the gate close and the guard nod at him as he walked away and back to the building. 

“Be there in 2 minutes,” Aiden hung up the phone, leaving Lambert to himself, standing here being unable to move a muscle as he stared at the building. He was beyond angry that he couldn’t even feel it anymore as it buzzed in his chest. Their words burned in his head as all of them voted to give him a chance, the one he didn’t deserve to have. 

Lambert didn’t know how long he was standing there before he felt a hand on his shoulder. A strong grip that turned him to face them “Hey,” Aiden and Renfri were both out of breath, panting like they just ran a marathon.

“He’s getting out,” Lambert echoed, Renfri was already crying, barely able to keep herself upright. She pushed Aiden out of the way as she wrapped her arms around Lambert for a tight hug. 

“Plan B?” She whispered, 

“If Plan B means murder, NO” Aiden nearly shouted. Lambert was way too out of it to even figure out what was going on, he slowly hugged her back feeling how thin she was. 

“I just want to go home…” Lambert whispered to her, 

  
  


* * *

Aiden pulled off Lambert’s tie, helping him undress as Lambert sat down on the edge of the bed. Lambert didn’t even remember how they got here everything was a blur. His head was just a distorted mess as he felt like his body was being driven by someone else. 

“We will deal with it okay?” Aiden whispered as he unbuttoned Lambert’s shirt. 

“Murder does sound nice,” Lambert mumbled like he was just keying into what his sister said earlier. 

“No,” Aiden chuckled, “I want you here with me.” Aiden took off Lambert’s shirt and threw it onto the ground, leaning down to kiss him. Just that tender kiss was enough for Lambert to break. Tears flowed down his face as he held Aiden in the kiss breathing heavily from his nose. 

Lambert broke the kiss, full-on sobbing as he choked out “I love you.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, the chapter is later than normal!  
> I did a lot of research for this chapter but it's not perfect and I know I might have gotten somethings wrong but I still hope you like it none the less.


	25. Chapter 25

_ From: Eskel  _

_ Hey, Dinner is cancelled tonight, things didn’t go well. _

_ Seen at 2:43 PM  _

Geralt was standing in the kitchen waiting for the water to boil in the kettle when he got the text. It hit him a bit hard because it meant Lambert’s dad was going to get out. How bad did Lambert take it? 

“Hey, is the coffee ready?” Jaskier called from the other room, having no idea that Geralt’s mood changed.

“Almost,” Geralt replied, pulling out two cups, and putting instant coffee into both mugs. He slowly poured the water into the cups watching the water turn colours, He should probably text Aiden see how he was holding up. 

Jaskier’s arms wrapped around Geralt’s waist “I couldn’t wait any longer for cuddles.” Jaskier rubbed his face on Geralt’s back humming a tune to himself. 

“Jaskier…” Geralt turned around to face him, Jaskier’s eyes filled with curiosity, “What?” He whispered.

“Dinner’s cancelled, Things didn’t go well” Geralt, putting his hands on Jaskier’s hips. 

“Oh...” Jaskier took a breath, 

“I’m going to text Aiden, I might go visit them if he’s up for it.” Geralt kissed Jaskier’s forehead. 

“Okay, Yeah,” Jaskier smiled softly, Geralt pulled out his phone again sending a quick message to Aiden. 

_ From: Geralt _

_ Hey, heard from Eskel things didn’t go well, how’s Lambert?  _

_ Seen at 3:01 PM  _

_ From: Aiden _

_ Not great, he’s kind of like a walking shell right now.  _

_ Seen at 3:03 PM  _

_ From: Geralt  _

_ Want me to come over? _

_ Seen at 3:04 PM _

When Geralt was texting, Jaskier was putting cream and sugar in his coffee, no longer singing a tune. Even though Jaskier hated Lambert he still showed so much empathy for him. 

_ From: Aiden _

_ Nah, honestly don’t think he wants people seeing him crying.  _

_ Seen at 3:10 PM _

_ From: Geralt _

_ Let me know if the two of you need anything.  _

_ Seen at 3:13 PM _

_ From: Aiden  _

_ Thanks, Eskel and Priscilla are bringing us dinner tonight. All you guys are so sweet.  _

_ Seen at 3:15 PM _

“Lambert doesn’t want any visitors today,” Geralt mumbled, he was pretty worried about the two of them. He knew how hard it can be on partners when taking care of someone in that state, he saw the toll it took on Jaskier when he thought Geralt wasn’t looking. 

Jaskier passed Geralt his black coffee with a smile, “He has Aiden, so I’m sure he will be okay.” 

“Mhmm,” Geralt hummed in agreement, taking a sip of his coffee letting it warm his throat. 

“Come on, back to bed for us! The office awaits!” Jaskier walked quickly back to the room with a bright smile on his face. The two of them skipped class together again, spending the day snuggling and watching The Office. 

Geralt knew the night the twins sang at the bar took its toll on Jaskier, he just hid it well behind layers of jokes and singing. So Geralt wanted to make this day full of things he enjoyed. 

Geralt walked back into Jaskier’s room, placing his phone and mug on the end table as he climbed under the covers with Jaskier. He wrapped his arm around his shoulder, squeezing him gently as Jaskier pushed play on the next episode. Getting the laptop closer to them.

Even with all that was happening, he was glad Jaskier was here to go through it with him. 

  
  


*** * ***

Lambert was laying bed, a cigarette in between his lips as he was too exhausted to stand let alone walk downstairs. The craving of it was getting so strong that he got Aiden to light it for him so he could get some kind of control over something in his life. 

Aiden cracked the window, trying to get the smoke to find it’s way outside. “Begone!” He whispered to himself as he waved his hands trying to get the smoke to go out the window.

Lambert smirked lightly, pulling the cigarette out as he blew more smoke into the air. Watching it curl its way through the window. Aiden sat back down on the edge of the bed, looking down at Lambert with glowing warmth in his eyes. 

Lambert was just about to say something before Aiden spoke up above him “If you say sorry one more time I will scream.” 

Lambert normally wasn’t one to apologize for stupid things but Aiden had literally done everything for him since they got home. Lambert swallowed hard, taking a long drag off this cigarette. He missed the taste of it, he only had one of these today before they left this morning. 

“So, I can do anything else for you?” Aiden rubbed Lambert’s leg through the sheets, “Something to drink, cuddles, a blow job?” 

That made Lambert chuckle as he blew smoke out through his nose, “A blow job?” He could tell Aiden was really trying to make it better even though there was nothing he could do to make it better.

Aiden smiled, “Yeah, Blow jobs always make me feel better.” 

“I think that is a lie,” Lambert grunted, flicking ashes into a bowl on his end table that Aiden put there. 

“Hey, I still enjoy seeing you with my cock in your mouth” Aiden crawled on top of Lambert saying every word like a purring cat. Even though he felt like this whole world was falling down around him Aiden still managed to make him smile. 

“Do you?” Lambert took a drag of his cigarette before Aiden grabbed it from him and put it out in the bowl. Lambert held the smoke in his mouth until Aiden kissed him deeply. He forced it into Aiden’s mouth making him pull away coughing the smoke out, “I hate it when you do that.” 

“I love you,” Lambert softly said like he was begging forgiveness. Making Aiden narrow his eyes at Lambert, “You are a pain in my ass.” Aiden smiled leaning down to kiss him again, sliding his tongue in to taste this ashy wonderland. 

Even though Aiden couldn’t make him feel better it was a welcomed distraction from what was going to happen in two months. His father being let out into the world, maybe killing someone else. 

Aiden was doing all the work in the kiss since Lambert’s body was just like lead unable to move as it used to since everything was so heavy. Aiden fought to get the sheets out from between them, kissing down Lambert’s neck and chest. 

Aiden kissed the growing length through Lambert’s boxers making him breathe out a moan. God the lengths Aiden will go to make him feel better is insane. 

“Oh you weren’t kidding,” Lambert raised his eyebrow to Aiden as he slid down Lambert's Boxers. 

“Oh come on you know how much I love sucking your cock,” Aiden smiled, getting Lambert’s boxers off before pushing Lambert’s legs onto his shoulders so he could get a full view of everything down there. 

Lambert’s face got really hot seeing Aiden’s face between his legs fuck this man was the sexist thing on the planet and no one could tell him otherwise. 

Lambert sucked in a breath as Aiden slid Lambert’s cock into his mouth, a wave of pleasure rocked itself through his body as Aiden used the dexterity of his tongue up and down the shaft.

Lambert wasn’t very loud when it came to any sexual activity, he just breathed louder and softly moaned. Which was the totally opposite of Aiden, he was loud and vocal about everything. 

Aiden pulled away for a second getting two of his fingers wet in his mouth as he kept full eye contact with Lambert. “You want more?” He whispered, rubbing the two wet fingers against Lambert’s entrance. 

Lambert nodded, totally out of breath from Aiden sucking him dry. 

“I want to hear you say it,” Aiden demanded, 

“Yes,” Lambert breathed out, slowly moving his heavy arm to entangle his fingers into Aiden’s curls. One of his rings caught some of his hair and Aiden frowned, “Ouch, okay,” He sat up making Lambert kind of sad, well sadder as he was no longer breathing on his cock. 

“I’m taking them off,” Aiden mumbled, sliding off the rings on Lambert’s fingers and placing them on the end table. 

“I love you,” Lambert whispered, kind of using it as his new sorry. 

“I love you too,” Aiden smiled, “I will never get tired of you saying that.” Aiden kissed Lambert’s hands, before slowly going back to his post between Lambert’s thighs. Getting the two fingers wet again and sliding them in nice and slow. Lambert was the opposite of relaxed and felt like he was going to shit himself again before Aiden’s fingers hit that magical spot making him moan. 

“There you go,” Aiden smiled, getting Lambert’s cock back into his mouth as he rhythmically thrusted his finger’s into Lambert. The pleasure made Lambert’s brain turn to mush, he couldn’t focus on anything because all he was seeing were stars. Aiden was right, blow jobs make everything better. 

Lambert’s hand found his way into Aiden’s hair again, as he moaned against every wave of pleasure that crashed through his body. Fuck Aiden was a wizard, a sexy beautiful sex wizard. 

Aiden kept him on the edge of climax for an unbearably long time, making Lambert sweat like crazy as his body wanted to cum so bad. 

“Not yet,” He kept whispering as he would lick the precum off the tip of his cock. Aiden was milking this because he knew it was making him feel better and that mattered to him. “You’re killing me,” Lambert moaned out as Aiden curled his finger against his prostate again making his legs shake. 

Aiden could keep him like this for hours if he wanted to, he was the master of Lambert’s body. Say please,” Aiden licked up from his balls to the tip of his cock slowly waiting for an answer. 

“Pleas-fuc-k” Lambert breathed out, feeling Aiden’s mouth on his cock again, feeling himself reach over the edge filling his partner’s mouth up with sticky warm cum that he greedily swallowed. 

Aiden sat up, smiling like a big child “better?” 

“Better” 


	26. Chapter 26

Mid-terms started the following Monday after Lambert’s father’s parole hearing. Lambert had managed to get out of writing them and doing mini assignments for his classes which let him be able to stay in the dorm and recover his mental strength.

“I really think I’m going to fail,” Eskel mumbled, still going through his q-cards nervously. 

“Maybe if you didn’t spend the whole weekend boning….” Coen joked, reviewing notes in his notebook with a cocky smirk on his face. 

“No one asked you,” Eskel sighed, rubbing his eyes, He looked exhausted how much sex did this man have? 

Geralt chuckled, he and Jaskier had studied in between breaks watching the office so Geralt felt confident enough in his ability to just pass the classes but was still anxious. His stomach was still turning and his mind racing that he might fuck it up. Aiden was drinking a large coffee barely focused on his studies. He also looked exhausted but for different reasons probably because Lambert hadn’t been sleeping again. 

“You okay?” Geralt whispered to Aiden, 

“Yeah, uh, just a little worried about Lambert,” Aiden mumbled, rubbing his forehead with his hand.

“I thought his sister was with him?” Eskel asked, yawning loudly. 

“He has a sister?” Coen asked; Geralt cocked his head to the side “Since when?” 

“Yeah, he does, but that’s why I’m worried,” Aiden sighed, “They were talking about murdering their father when I was in the bathroom getting ready.” 

“Sounds like them,” Eskel chuckled, taking a drink of his coffee. 

“I’m just confused, is she younger or older?” Coen asked, closing his notebook to focus on what they were talking about. 

“4 years older,” Aiden mumbled, “She is a piece of work, I’m not a big fan.” 

“Well, Lambert is a piece of work himself,” Eskel laughed, making Aiden frown “Hey, he’s MY piece of work thank you very much.” 

Geralt laughed out loud, which seemed to shock everyone at the table. “I didn’t even know you could laugh like that” Aiden gasped, 

Geralt frowned, he swears he has laughed in front of them before. Thank god the twins walked up to the table already having so much to talk about the moment they sat down. 

“Pretty we both aced that exam!” Jaskier flopped down in the seat beside Geralt, a smile glued to his face as he rested his chin in his hand. 

“When you're naturally a good actor those exams are nothing,” Priscilla sat down in Eskel’s lap kind of surprising him. “Hi, darling,” She planted a soft kiss on Eskel’s lips, making him smile like an idiot. Priscilla didn’t even look as exhausted as Eskel did, she was still high energy happy as can be, probably wore him out.

“At least most of your exams are practical,” Aiden sighed, looking stressed out as he drank out of his coffee cup. 

“You’ll do great Aiden, you have been studying more than the rest of us” Coen nudged his arm. Geralt could understand how stressed Aiden was, between the exams, the last football game of the season and Lambert it was a lot on his plate. 

Jaskier slid his hand onto Geralt’s lap giving him a shy smile, “When’s your exam?” He asked.

“In 30 minutes,” Geralt sighed, looking back down at his notes. The weight of Jaskier’s hand on his lap calmed the butterflies fighting their way out of his stomach. Geralt slid his hand on top of Jaskier’s lacing his fingers with his. Rubbing his thumb along the soft skin.

“Well I have to bolt,” Aiden started packing his stuff up “I have practice after my exam can someone please check on Lambert this afternoon?” 

“Yeah, I was planning to visit him anyway,” Geralt spoke up, 

“Thank you, bring him some food will ya? And make sure he eats it,” Aiden threw his bag over his shoulders and grabbed his coffee. 

“Will do,” Geralt mumbled, watching him jogging out of sight. 

“I honestly don’t know what Lambert would do without him,” Eskel grumbled, holding Priscilla by the waist.

“Prison, he would be in prison,” Coen made a face a cross between joking and serious.

“Could still happen,” Geralt sighed, looking at Jaskier’s blue eyes as they talked. Geralt hoped that Lambert wasn’t going to do anything stupid the last thing he needed was losing another friend to the criminal justice system. If the same thing that happened to Letho happened to Lambert he didn’t think he could forgive himself. 

“It won’t happen if he has to you guys,” Jaskier spat out, “He has a good support system. I wouldn’t worry yourselves grey about it.” 

“Fair point,” Coen smiled, moving his eyes to watch people walk by showing the bloodshot whites of his eyes. “Even though I love Lambert, enough about him and more about how a pretty little thing like Priscilla could have worn out a big guy like Eskel.” 

Jaskier laughed, very amused with where things were going at this table. Jaskier always fed off Coen’s love for gossip; the two of them were an unstoppable gossip team. 

“To be fair, this energy--” Eskel tickled Priscilla’s sides, making her giggle and slap his hands away. “--it’s like X2 in bed.” 

“So you're just telling us you’re out of practice?” Jaskier smirked, leaning forward on the table still holding on to Geralt’s hand out of view. 

“That is what he is telling you,” Priscilla smiled back making Eskel look like his ego was bruised. 

“That is not what I said!” 

*** * ***

Geralt knocked on Lambert’s door, hearing mumbling and laughter on the other side probably that sister of his. Jaskier had stayed at the dorm since he thought it would be easier on Lambert if he wasn’t there. Which kind of made Geralt sad, he liked having Jaskier there with him like they were some kind of package deal. 

“Come in!” a woman's voice called from the other side, Geralt pushed the door open seeing a girl with a kind of messy bob cut. She was dressed in pretty dirty jeans and a t-shirt cut into a crop. She was a rugged kind of beauty, something he should have expected from Lambert’s sister. 

“I got food for Lambert,” Geralt held up a bag, seeing her raise an eyebrow at him. Was she checking him out?

“Is that Geralt?” Lambert’s voice came from his bedroom before his head popped out. “Just in fucking time.”

Geralt narrowed his eyes at Lambert “Just in time for what?” 

“Have you ever broken into prison before?” Lambert looked fucking serious like scary serious. 

“I’m sorry what?” Geralt frowned, 

“Well, we need a team of at least 10 people,” Lambert’s sister chined in taking a drink of water out of the glass in her hand. 

Geralt sighed, “No, I will not join your chaos team.” 

“But it’s not a no for breaking into prison right?” Lambert smirked,

“Why would you think I broke into prison?” Geralt pushed the bag into Lambert’s hand. 

“I was hoping, there is a fucking difference,” Lambert looked into the bag then placed it on his bed going back to a whiteboard of their ‘plan’ to break in. It was worse than Geralt thought. He looked at the girl beside him and sighed “and you’re supporting this?”

“It’s my plan,” She smiled and held out her hand to Geralt “I’m Renfri.” 

“Geralt,” Geralt shook her hand, feeling the roughness under his. Her eyes glazed over just like his mothers would when she had too much to drink. Was she drunk? Wait, was that even water in her glass? 

“Are you drunk?” Geralt narrowed his eyes at her then looked back at Lambert who was chuckling at the board, probably because there was a drawing of dick that wasn’t there 2 minutes ago. He was swaying as he stood, as he wrote on the board. “Are you both drunk?” 

“Yes,” Renfri smiled, taking another drink out of her glass, “I think better drunk.” 

Geralt sighed, he understood why Aiden was worried about him being with her. This was a fucking mess. “Where is the bottle?” Geralt demanded, clenching his teeth together. 

“Empty,” Lambert pointed to the desk where a bottle of vodka sat empty, how long have they been drinking? 

“Fuck sakes,” Geralt grabbed the glass from Renfri who tried to grab it from him but he pushed her back gently and poured it down the sink. “Do you really think this is the best idea?! Drinking doesn’t make anything better.” Geralt was overly angry to the point his anxiety about this had found a place to hide. 

“How many times do I have to tell you, Lambert, that this,” He sits Lambert down on the bed with little to no fight since he was so drunk he was like a rag doll. “This is not going to help, you are better than him, you both are.” He erased the whiteboard with his shirt. 

“What do you know!?” Renfri shouted, “Monsters are born from monsters, it's just a fact!” 

Geralt stared at her, seeing the same anger he had seen in Lambert's eyes boil to the surface. She took a deep breath before shouting again “I’m no better than he is, but at least his death will be the lesser evil!’ 


	27. Chapter 27

Geralt was sitting outside Lambert’s dorm, his back up against the door. His whole body was shaking nearly uncontrollably, tear’s streaming down his face. He had texted Aiden, told him what had happened. What caused him to have to sit out here only to make sure the two of them didn’t leave the building since they were more or less a danger to themselves.

Renfri went on a giant screaming rant, yelling at Geralt just for trying to help them. Geralt wished he would have waited for Coen to finish his exam before coming over here but he thought everything would be fine. He thought he could do this by myself, but he couldn’t.

He could still hear her yelling at her brother about his poor choice in friends, Renfri reminded him of his mother, a chaotic mess blaming her problems one everyone else. 

“Hey,” Jaskier jogged up to Geralt from their dorm room, sliding on the ground to hug Geralt. “I should have gone with you…”

No, Jaskier was right he would have made things worse because instead of just worrying about Renfri he would have had to worry about Lambert yelling at Jaskier.

“No, it probably would have been worse if you were there…” Geralt choked out, wrapping his arms around him. Some people were walking by but he didn’t care. He needed him right now. “Aiden is on his way,” Geralt buried his face in Jaskier’s neck, trying to breathe in his smell that always has a way of calming him. The sweet honey he craved.

Jaskier looked up at the door, “I should check on them, It’s probably not a good idea to just leave them in there yelling at each other.” Jaskier rubbed Geralt’s back, Geralt didn’t want Jaskier to move from this spot even if he was right. He really didn’t want to go back in there or have Jaskier go in there.

“Wait for Aiden,” Geralt swallowed, holding on to Jaskier tighter. 

“And have him deal with that by himself?” Jaskier asked, pulling away from Geralt a little to see his face before the sound of glass breaking could be heard in the other room. Making Geralt freeze up, his heart nearly stopped just from the sound thinking it was going to hit him. 

“Hey, it’s okay,” Jaskier kissed his forehead, “They are not mad at you,” Jaskier looked down the hall trying to see if Aiden was on his way. 

“I’m just going to make sure none of them are hurt,” Jaskier whispered, he tried to stand up but Geralt’s hold on him was too strong, “Geralt…”

Geralt was in full panic mode, the sound of breaking glass triggered something inside that made his shake harder, breathe harder. His lungs burned as he breathed into Jaskier’s neck holding on as his life depended on it.

“Hey!? What’s going on?” Aiden was running down the hall at full speed, 

“Geralt is having a panic attack, we heard glass breaking and now just a girl crying.” Jaskier rapidly fired answers as he tried to move Geralt out of the door away. “Geralt won’t let me go, so I’m sorry if I didn’t go in.” 

“It’s fine, we will get him his meds after...I just,” Aiden squeezed through the two of them pushing the door open and leaving the two of them out in the hall. Jaskier kissed Geralt’s cheek through his hair trying to help him through the panic attack even though he was far off the deep end and drowning. 

“Am I a monster?” Geralt choked out in between sobs, the words Renfri had said stuck to him like glue. Was he going to end up like this mother at some point? Falling into substance abuse, blaming everyone, taking it out on his children? 

“Oh, No Geralt…” Jaskier’s tone of voice changed, as he held him tighter. “You are the sweetest most caring thing I’ve met.”

The door opened behind them, seeing Aiden’s head pop out, “I cleaned up the mess, the two of them are fine, Renfri just had a bit of a manic episode...if that’s what you call it.” Aiden swallowed, “Does Geralt have meds on him?” 

“No, I keep telling him to keep them with him but he doesn’t.” Jaskier looked up at Aiden, “If I give you my keys can you get them? There on my end table.” 

Aiden nodded, sliding out from the dorm grabbing Jaskier’s keys from him. “What room?”

“A2” Jaskier answered, shifting his weight onto a different leg since he had been kneeling this whole time. He kissed Geralt’s cheek again, hushing him with the sweetness of his voice “It’s okay, whatever she said to you she didn’t mean it.” He whispered, which Jaskier didn’t know if that was true. She could have meant every word she said, about herself about Geralt, even though she knew nothing about him the words hit strongly in his chest. 

Aiden was back in about five minutes, handing Jaskier two pill bottles and his keys “I didn’t know which was which.” 

“It’s fine, thank you” Jaskier smiled softly “Can you take me a glass of water to?” Jaskier’s voice kind of sounded sorry for asking like he was annoying even though he wasn’t at all. It kind of made Geralt feel worse, putting Jaskier in this spot as well as walking on eggshells around people just for being himself.

“Yeah, two seconds,” Aiden squeezed back in honestly, not even seeming bugged by it at all. He came back not that all after handing Jaskier the cup through the door. 

“Geralt, this is going to help you, Darling,” Jaskier pulled himself away slowly, opening one of the bottles of pills and sliding one into Geralt’s mouth and tipping the glass to help Geralt drink it down in between sobs and heavy breathing. 

Jaskier’s smile warmed his soul as he choked down the pill, 

Aiden mumbled behind them, “You’re so good to him…” 

*** * ***

Geralt had woken up alone in a foreign room, confused about how he got here. He looked at the end table seeing football trophies, He must be in Aiden’s room. He rolled over groaning over how sore all his muscles were. 

Where was Jaskier, and why did they bring him here and not to his dorm? Geralt sat up slowly swinging his legs off the side of the bed. Was Renfri still here? 

Echoes of laughter filled his ears coming from the closed door of the room, he stood up, cracking his shoulders and taking a deep breath. He really hoped Renfri wasn’t there. He couldn’t handle seeing her again. It made him anxious just thinking about her raising her voice again. 

He walked to the door, swinging it open seeing Jaskier sitting on the counter giggling at something Aiden had said the two of them seemed to have been getting along again. Aiden had been bitter for a while after Jaskier outed him, the two of them barely talked when they saw each other which he guessed was understandable. 

“Ah, Geralt,” Jaskier smiled, putting his arms out like a child for a hug “You sleep well?” 

Geralt walked up to Jaskier wrapping his arms around him, holding him close, not saying anything besides humming into Jaskier’s chest.

“Renfri is in Lambert’s room,” Aiden stated, “Lambert is in the hall talking on the phone with Vesemir about her....” 

Geralt took a sharp breath, he wondered why the two of them were so different. Lambert had anger problems but turned out way better than she did...He thought siblings were always placed together in foster care? Why didn’t she go with Vesemir as Lambert did? 

“Why didn’t she get placed with Lambert when they were kids?” Geralt asked, still holding on to Jaskier like a teddy bear. 

“I don’t know details, Lambert isn’t great at talking but something about her being high risk and Vesemir couldn’t give her the care she needed. He fought for her, but the foster care system lets kids like her fall through the gaps.” Aiden was biting at his nails, the stress in his eyes seemed to be worse than this morning. 

“Mhmm,” Geralt nodded, against Jaskier’s chest. 

“I talked to her a bit earlier when you were asleep when she’s not shit faced she’s pretty nice.” Jaskier started playing with Geralt’s hair like he always did after Geralt had a panic attack, to comfort him and bring him back to reality. 

The door of the dorm opened, Lambert walked in, his face was a little scratched up but cleaned and bandaged already. Did Renfri hit him with the glass? 

“Vesemir is going to take her in for a bit, he just wants to talk to Ciri first.” Lambert went and sat at the table with Aiden, still seeming a little drunk but his senses seem to be coming back. Aiden probably talked him into calling Vesemir because it was clear his sister had a problem. 

Aiden grabbed Lambert’s hand lacing his fingers with his “It’s what’s best for her, You can’t have her dragging you down with her.” 

Lambert didn’t say anything he just sighed, holding Aiden’s hand. 

“Do you want us to stay?” Jaskier asked, clearly having been comforting Aiden with his silly personality even though Geralt wasn’t here. 

“You don’t have too,” Aiden smiled, “I know you guys have exams to study for…” 

“Exams, yeah forgot about those things,” Jaskier frowned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the short chapter again... I watched the whole season of Good Omens last night because I have no chill.


	28. Chapter 28

November 15th was Eskel’s birthday, a night the group they had planned hard since 1. it was the last day of midterms, 2. It was Eskel’s birthday and 3. It was Coen’s on Sunday; the 2 of them were turning 19 and had planned a ‘party of the ages’ even though it was just their small group.

Eskel had ordered their 3rd birthday round of shots which Geralt was given fake shots of water but Eskel didn’t want him to feel left out. 

“Birthday round three,” John, their regular bartender placed the tray down full of shots pointing out to Geralt which one was his. “I forgot to ask how old your turning” 

“19” Eskel downed his shot, the bartender narrowing his eyes at Eskel because he looked older than he was. 

“Uh, I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear that because I’ve been giving alcohol to underage boys.” John sucked in a deep breath, looking disappointed himself after everyone downed their shots.“Not Unaged any more” Eskel chuckled,

“Oh, Darling, it's our secret,” Jaskier winked at John, placing his shot back onto the tray. John frowned at Jaskier, grabbing the tray off the table, leaving them quickly. Geralt was the only one at the table not tipsy, even though it was Eskel and Coen’s birthday he still wouldn’t let Geralt have more than one drink. 

“So, Priscilla and I have a little surprise for you guys,” Jaskier smiled, tapping his fingers on the table like a drum. 

“You, not being here?” Lambert mumbled, leaning back into his chair. He no longer had bandages on his face, only having small cuts on the side of his forehead from his sister. Aiden glared at Lambert, trying to stop him from being rude. 

“Well, kind of” Priscilla uncrossed her legs “We have a special song we are going to sing later.” She smiled at Eskel who looked more than excited about it. 

“Can’t wait,” Eskel leaned over and kissed her cheek. 

Geralt eyed Jaskier across the table, he was dressed more sleazy then normal. His white button-down shirt was see-through enough to show the silhouette of his body. His shirt was unbuttoned to the middle of his chest showcasing his chest hair. Geralt looked back up at Jaskier’s eyes seeing him looking right at him too, Smiling, leaning back in his chair. God, did he look good. 

“So, how did everyone think they did on their exams?” Coen took a drink of his beer, his illegal one. 

“Totally failed,” Eskel shrugged, “but that’s on me.” 

“You’re smart your probably fine, unlike me,” Aiden sighed “I’m too fucking stressed out, my brain is mush.” 

Coen shook his head “You guys are too hard on yourselves,” 

“I think I at least passed,” Geralt breathed out, looking at Lambert who was bouncing his leg staring at his almost empty glass like it was the last beer he would ever have. Lambert’s sister had been staying at Vesemir’s place. Apparently getting overfed since Vesemir had been on this baking kick with his nice little new foster daughter, Ciri. 

“See be like Geralt, more faith in yourself” Coen leaned over Priscilla and punched Eskel arm, “Or the twins but they might be over the top.” 

“Pfttt, we crushed it,” Priscilla winked at Jaskier who returned it with a smile. 

Lambert chuckled to himself taking a drink of his beer, Aiden’s hand rubbed his thigh, but Lambert stood up as soon as he touched him. “I’m going to take a piss,” He grunted, walking out of sight from the group. 

Jaskier grabbed Aiden’s shoulder as a comfort, Lambert was at the point where none of them could help him but no one would tell him to get help in fear of his reaction. 

“I know we've all been walking on eggshells around him since last week but come on…” Coen spit out, “We need to---” 

“Just give him time, Coen” Aiden was biting his nails again “He has a lot on his plate.” 

“We all do but none of us are being a dick,” Eskel leaned forward, “ I know you love him but some times you need to get the fuck back in the boat before he drowns you too.” 

Aiden sighed, looking annoyed, probably because he told Lambert the same thing the other day in fewer words. 

“You can’t force someone to get help,” Geralt took a drink of his water, tasting the boringness it left behind. 

“No, but you can nudge them,” Eskel mumbled over the music. No matter how much Geralt ‘nudged’ his mother to get help it never happened, so it was probably not going to happen until Lambert broke or landed in prison. 

When Lambert got back, Jaskier stood up and whispered into his sister’s ear and she smiled her beautiful full smile before standing up. 

“Ready for your birthday surprise boys?” She cheered, making Eskel and Coen smile.

“Sure,” Coen nodded, laughing at them as they joggled into the crowd of people. 

“Finally peace,” Lambert whispered louder than he should have as he took a drink. 

Geralt shook his head, Lambert should have stayed home if he was going to act like this. 

“So you two spend a lot of time with them, what are they singing together?” Coen asked, ignoring Lambert’s dramatics. 

“Well, Jaskier said something about him only doing harmonies” Geralt shrugged, 

“They normally practice music away from the two of us because we’re too distracting.” Eskel added, “Which I guess is understandable since Jaskier and Geralt are always checking each other out.” 

Geralt’s face got hot, he didn’t think anyone noticed he was doing that “Am not,” He mumbled. 

“You are, there is always so much sexual tension between the two of you,” Aiden leaned forward to grab his drink, “It’s kind of adorable” 

“To be honest the two of you should just fuck already,” Lambert spat out, looking into his empty glass knowing that he wasn’t getting another one since Eskel spilled the beans on their ages. 

Geralt sighed, but before he would say anything to Lambert The music stopped as the twins tapped the mics, making sure they were working fine and sat down on stools at the front of the stage.. 

“We're going to be singing for two of your birthday boys tonight, hope everyone enjoys it,” Priscilla looked to her brother, who smiled and started playing on his guitar. His sister moved with the music as it echoed in the hollowed centre. 

_ Don't ask questions you don't wanna know _

_ Learned my lesson way too long ago _

_ To be talking to you, belladonna _

_ Shoulda taken a break, not an oxford comma _

_ Take what I want when I wanna _

_ And I want ya _

_ Bad, bad news _

_ One of us is gonna lose _

_ I'm the powder, you're the fuse _

_ Just add some friction _

Eskel half laughed the moment she winked at him from the stage, Geralt could tell the song was more for Eskel then it was for Coen but he was still having a good time. 

_ You are my strange addiction _

_ You are my strange addiction _

_ My doctors can't explain _

_ My symptoms or my pain _

_ But you are my strange addiction _

_ Deadly fever, please don't ever break _

_ Be my reliever ’cause I don’t self medicate _

_ And it burns like a gin and I like it _

_ Put your lips on my skin and you might ignite it _

_ Hurts, but I know how to hide it, kinda like it (Teh) _

Geralt kind of felt like their song choice fit all their relationships at the moment, they always seemed to be able to fit the mood every time they sang. It was kind of scary how much they really noticed and got the music to fit it. 

_ Bad, bad news _

_ One of us is gonna lose _

_ I'm the powder, you’re the fuse _

_ Just add some friction _

_ You are my strange addiction _

_ You are my strange addiction _

_ My doctors can't explain _

_ My symptoms or my pain _

_ But you are my strange addiction _

_ Bite my glass, set myself on fire _

_ Can't you tell I'm crass? Can’t you tell I'm wired? _

_ Tell me nothing lasts, like I don't know _

_ You could kiss my— asking about my motto _

Geralt watched Jaskier’s finger’s skillful move along the neck of the guitar, he loved watching him in his element. Jaskier was always his happiest with a guitar in his hands, they hit the chore again and smiles spread across the twin’s faces. 

_ You are my strange addiction _

_ You are my strange addiction _

_ My doctors can't explain _

_ My symptoms or my pain _

_ But you are my strange addiction _

They both stood up and bowed, the whole room clapped and cheered as the two of them walked off stage. Geralt knew that every one of his friends had a strange addiction, let it be people or cigarettes but Geralt knew that his addiction was Jaskier. His smile, his smell, the calming voice, everything about him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song is My strange addiction from Billie Eilish   
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JBFfclLlc6o


	29. Chapter 29

Geralt tried to sit unbearably still, modelling was something he could check off his ‘I’m not good at list’. 3 feet from him was Triss, studying Geralt’s face as she painted on a canvas. He agreed to be her model for one of her art projects so he could talk to her about Yennefer. 

“You moved,” Triss mumbled, standing up from her stool. 

“I didn’t,” Geralt grunted as she put the end of her paintbrush under his chin pushing it slowly up a bit. “You did, just a little” She chuckled, “Just relax.”

Yeah, telling Geralt to relax was a joke in itself. She went back to her seat and stared at him and the painting back and forth for a while. He was sweating because he had been trying to work up the courage to ask her about Yennefer for the last 2 hours. 

“What are you painting?” Geralt asked, getting a giggle from her as she dipped her paintbrush into paint. Was it a stupid question?

“You, but the you that I see” She mumbled, her tongue slightly poking out of her lips as she focused on her work. 

“What do you mean?” Geralt furrowed his brow getting an annoyed looked from Triss and he stopped. 

“Well, My mind works funny” She tilted her head to the right a bit, “I love picturing people as their opposites, kind of making doppelgangers for themselves.”

Geralt still wasn’t really following what she meant but decided to just wait until she was done to see what she painted. The two of them sat in silence again as she painted, her tongue still partly out between her lips as she focused. Geralt took a deep breath really trying not to move even though his back ached from sitting up straight for so long. 

“I’m almost done,” She whispered, 

Geralt should just ask her, ask her if she has heard from Yennefer, it’s not that hard, it’s a normal question, right? 

“Have you heard from Yen?” Geralt choked out, finally, a weight lifted off his shoulders. 

“Here and there, she’s busy with med school and all…” She looked a little sad from just the thought of her. 

“Did you ever tell her your feelings?” Geralt asked, trying so hard not to itch his face. 

“...Nope, she’s dating someone already” Triss let out a sigh, as she dipped her paintbrush back into the paint. “Istredd is his name, I met him at Jaskier’s Halloween party. She visited me since we never spend Halloween apart.” 

“Mhmm,” Geralt already knew all this, he had stalked her Facebook the night he found out she slept with Coen. “Did she tell you about Coen?” 

“Yup,” Triss popped her lips before frowning, “And that you apparently you butt dialled her when you were having sex.” 

Geralt snorted, “Hmm, She told you that?” Did he want to tell her that it was really just a stupid stunt he pulled with Eskel’s phone? 

“Yes, didn’t know you were dating anyone” Triss looked at him finally, with her olive-green eyes filled with curiosity. He didn’t know if he wanted to tell her, he hadn’t told anyone outside their little group, But he found himself just word vomiting “Were not exclusive.” even though they were, a part of himself hated that he said that.

“Oh, well, still nice to see you not running back to her,” Triss smiled, placing her paintbrush into her glass of water. He wondered if Triss was angry with her the same as he was “ All done, you can move now.” 

Geralt cracked his back and stood up feeling relief to being able to move again, he slowly walked over to her. “Can I look?”

“Yeah, just remember it is a different you” Triss moved her chair out the way so Geralt could get a good look at it. He honestly didn’t recognize himself, The painting was lifelike and she added scars on his face. Some small but one large one over his left eye, it was only a portrait of his face but she had painted him in black leather armour like old fantasy movies. He looked at Triss and then back at the painting. 

“Why two swords?” Geralt asked as he eyed her skills as an artist, “Doesn’t seem practical.”

“One for monsters, one for humans” She crossed her arms staring at it with him. Geralt kind of liked the sound of that, how did she come up with this stuff? “What do you think?” She asked

“...That’s nothing like me,” Geralt wanted to touch it to see if he was looking at a mirror, but of course, he didn't. The paint was still wet… 

“It’s your opposite, taciturn, cunning” Triss let out a little sigh being happy with her work. “Unlike--” 

Geralt cut her off, “A miserable, anxious wreck.” 

“I wasn't going to say that,” Triss hit his arm pretty hard for such a small girl “Your sweet Geralt.” She let out a deep sigh grabbing a rag of her table of paints and wiping her hands. “You know, finding a creative outlet can help with anxiety” She mumbled, “I’m not a therapist or anything but all of this really helped me through such hard times growing up.” 

Triss was bullied most of her childhood, her parents are a little eccentric so some of the lunches she came to school with were odd. People don’t like things that are not normal. 

“I can’t paint,” Geralt was eyeing himself in the painting, trying to figure out why she painted him so handsome when he never saw himself that way. Is that what she saw? 

“Doesn’t have to be painting, it could be writing, music, dancing,” She smiled at him. 

“Music is Jaskier’s thing,” He smiled just thinking about Jaskier’s face every time he sang something, the happiness it brought him. 

“Maybe he can teach you,” Triss started cleaning up her paints and putting them back where they needed to go in the school’s art room. 

“So, why did you pick this time period for the panting?” Geralt tried to steer his way back to the painting to learn more about this man she drew.

“Well, we had to pick a time period and paint people as we would at that time” Triss picked up the brushes she used and walked them to the sink. 

Geralt mumbled to himself, “Geralt of Riva.”

  
  


*** * ***

Geralt was standing in the courtyard of the dorm, having his last smoke before going to see Jaskier upstairs. He had been needing them less and less the closer he got to Jaskier. The taste of ash no longer steadied his hands, as well as Jaskier could. 

Geralt saw a figure walking over to him bundled up in a puffy jacket, “Hey what are you doing out here it’s freezing!” Jaskier called holding a shopping bag in hand. 

Geralt smiled, “I thought you were upstairs,” Geralt exhaled a cloud of smoke into the wind. 

“Got hungry,” Jaskier smiled back at Geralt, “How did the modelling go?” 

“Good, I got a picture on my phone if you want to see,” Geralt placed his cigarette into his mouth so he could pull out his phone. 

“Yes, you know how much I enjoy looking at your face” Jaskier stepped closer to him hopping with excitement. Geralt handed Jaskier his phone and his face lit up. 

“Wow, I always forget how good she is…” Jaskier stared at it for a while, “I saw her do this type of thing with Amy, one of the girls from the LGBTQ group and damn...Somehow she made you even more handsome.”

“I’ve never been handsome,” Geralt sighed, blowing smoke out from his nose before flicking ashes onto the ground. He could tell by Jaskier’s face he didn’t agree with him on that front, “I will keep telling you how handsome you are until you believe it.” Jaskier handed him back his phone and then looked up at the sky. 

“Is it snowing?” He whispered. 

Geralt looked up, feeling cool droplets hit his face. It had snowed a few times but it never stuck to the ground. Maybe this time would be different. 

Jaskier took a sharp breath in, letting the snow hit his face. Geralt looked back down at him, watching him enjoying the snowfall like it was the first like he had done countless times before. He flicked his cigarette bud onto the ground, before pulling Jaskier into a tight hug. He started to care less if people saw them, he wanted people to know where Jaskier belonged. 

“You okay?” Jaskier wrapped his arms around Geralt’s middle, looking up at him. 

“Yeah,” Geralt kissed the top of Jaskier’s head feeling his soft hair against his lips. 

“I love how cuddly you are Darling,” Jaskier chuckled, burying his face into Geralt’s jacket. “Do you want to go upstairs and warm up?” 

Geralt knew what he meant by that, “sure.” 

*** * ***

“Seeing snow always makes me horny” Jaskier dropped his jacket by the door, quickly taking off his boots as he hopped to the bedroom. 

“Everything makes you horny Jaskier,” Geralt placed his boots by the door, and slowly followed behind. “The sounds of birds, hot showers, how I breathe when I sleep.” 

“Fair point,” Jaskier grabbed Geralt by his belt and pulled him close to him “The world is just filled with so much beauty.” 

Geralt smiled, putting his hands on Jaskier’s hip. The two of them had gotten comfortable with ‘Mutual Masturbation’ and Jaskier’s rare blow jobs. They managed to get his shirt about halfway off, enough for Jaskier to see and kiss Geralt’s abs. Enough to feel the scar on his back, but not see it. 

“I have a surprise for you,” Jaskier whispered, 

“Do you?” Geralt kissed Jaskier before he quickly pulled away leaving Geralt wanting more. Jaskier ran up to his end table, pulling out a thick black ribbon. “What is that?” Geralt raised his eyebrow in confusion.

“Well, I had this idea,” Jaskier flopped on the bed, “That maybe if I blindfolded myself you would be more comfortable.” 

“Sounds silly,” Geralt climbed onto to bed, watching Jaskier tie the blindfold over his eyes. 

“Worth a try,” Jaskier laid on his back, then tapped his thighs “Come here.” 

Geralt frowned, not really sure how he felt about this it felt weird. He straddled Jaskier’s thighs, feeling Jaskier’s hands move up his legs to the hem of his shirt. Geralt waved his hand in front of Jaskier’s face, frowning harder. 

“I can only see shadows Geralt” Jaskier chuckled, sliding his hand up Geralt’s shirt at a slow pace. “How do you feel?” 

“Fine,” Geralt mumbled before he just took off his shirt completely letting Jaskier’s hands wander over his chest. His hands were still cool but felt nice on Geralt’s hot skin. It was weird that this was actually working, he didn’t feel worried about anything… 

“Kiss me,” Jaskier whispered, as he reached for Geralt’s belt pulling at it. Geralt leaned down, kissing Jaskier deeply, exploring his mouth, somehow it still felt uncharted even after all this time. Geralt worked at Jaskier’s shirt buttons annoyed with how many there were to get to his skin, Geralt gasped the moment he felt Jaskier’s hands around his cock and he grabbed his hand. 

“Wait,” Geralt whispered against his lips, his breath harsh from the breathtaking kiss “I want to try something.” 

“Okay, yeah,” Jaskier pulled his hand away moaning as Geralt kissed down his chest, to get to his jeans. Geralt had been reading about blow jobs, making sure the first one he did on Jaskier would be just as amazing as when he did. He didn’t feel as exposed as Jaskier blindfolded so he thought this would be a good time to try it. 

He lowered Jaskier’s jeans and boxers just enough to get his rock hard cock out. He buried his face at the base of it taking in the smell that Geralt longed to smell all day, licking up the shaft as Jaskier moaned softly until Geralt took him all the way into his mouth then he nearly shouted. 

“Bloody hell Geralt!” Jaskier smoothed his finger’s into Geralt’s ashen hair, panting as Geralt used mouth to please him. 

Geralt hoped he was doing a good job, swirling his tongue around the tip of his cock like Jaskier always did to him. Jaskier’s legs twitching under Geralt’s arms as he bobbed his head down again. He honestly thought he wouldn’t like this, or he would feel too much like a girl but he didn’t. His taste was just as good here as his lips, sweet and soft. 

“Fuc-” Jaskier roughly pulled Geralt’s hair, thrusting himself into Geralt’s mouth as he exploded into Geralt’s mouth. He wasn’t expecting him to do that without any warning he really didn’t plan ahead if he was going to swallow as Jaskier does but he did anyway. Pulling off quickly coughing as he swallowed Jaskier’s load in his mouth, the texture was odd and kind of coated his mouth as yogurt did. 

“Oh sorry, sorry!” Jaskier sat up still wearing the blindfold. 

Geralt chuckled, holding Jaskier’s face in his hands “I guess it was good?” 

“Magical.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally finished planning out the chapters instead of flying at the seam of my pants to get to my end game plan.   
> Probably going to be 45-50 chapters how your ready for a ride lol


	30. Chapter 30

It was the first weekend of December, the snow had stuck to the ground in sheets, a white blissful wonderland that blinded you every time you went outside. Geralt and Jaskier had slept in on Saturday morning, entangled in each other’s arms as they tried to stay warm. Geralt had been on and off sleeping since 6 am, not being able to stay in the abyss long but not wanting to leave the bed either. 

Jaskier rolled on top of him waking him up once again from the eerie black silence, “Good morning,” Jaskier whispered, hoping not to wake him even though Geralt already was. Jaskier’s soft lips pressed over Geralt’s warm and sweet, Geralt hummed under it, cracking open one of his eyes to see Jaskier’s beautiful eyes staring down at him. 

“Morning,” Geralt grunted, he hadn’t gotten used to waking up beside someone but he never wanted it to stop. 

“Sleep well?” Jaskier asked, rubbing his hands down Geralt’s bare chest, he tensed up a bit since it was early in the morning his body always went to panic mode first before relaxing into his touch. It took a few tries of Jaskier being blindfolded, then not blindfolded with his eyes closed, then just peeking before Geralt was totally comfortable with him seeing him shirtless. They still hadn’t gotten his underwear totally off but that was a task for later. Jaskier never asked about the scarring but always took extra care when his hand trailed there. 

“Mhmm,” Geralt closed his eyes again, letting Jaskier trace his fingers over his abs, humming a tune softly. 

“So, We made a deal that if we got your shirt off we would talk about the S-E-X” Jaskier continued to run his fingers along the hard lines of his chest. 

Geralt opened his eyes again, he honestly forgot, “Right.” 

“No pressure we’re just talking” Jaskier leaned down and kissed Geralt, “Now, I’ve been a bottom my whole gay existence but what do you want?” 

Geralt had googled the whole ‘top and bottom’ thing, trying to figure out how things worked on his own but a lot of it made him uncomfortable so he gave up. “I don’t know…” Geralt swallowed hard, seeing Jaskier give him a reassuring smile. 

“Well, let’s just think of it as a dance, Do you want me to lead or you?” Jaskier laid his weight down on top of Geralt’s body and pressed their Chests together. Geralt stayed silent for a while thinking about the question, he liked it when Jaskier led; when he was on top of him, it made him feel safe and less exposed that way. 

“I think I want you to lead” Geralt’s face got hot, just thinking about Jaskier doing... that to him. 

Jaskier's smile slowly spread across his face, “Well, in that case, we will need to work on getting your boxers off” Jaskier reached down and snapped the waistband against Geralt’s hip. 

He honestly didn’t want it taking another month for that to happen, but maybe it would be faster with Jaskier’s crazy Ideas. Jaskier raised his eyebrow “Blindfold?” He asked, with a purr in his throat. 

“We have to meet the others at the coffee shop in--” Geralt looked over at the time “two hours.” It probably seemed like a lot of time to most people but Jaskier took forever to get ready. 

“We got time, darling” Jaskier reached over to his end table pulling out that ribbon, he had actually grown to like it, it wasn’t as weird as it was at the start. 

“Says the guy who takes forever to pick his outfit” Geralt grunted, watching Jaskier put the ribbon over his eyes and tie it tight. 

“Focus Geralt,” Jaskier smiled, his hands finding their way to the waistband of his boxers. “I always let my imagination get the best of me, do you have like a third nipple or something?” 

Geralt frowned, “No,” 

“A tattoo of my little pony?” Jaskier purred, sliding down Geralt’s boxers, slowly incase Geralt needed to stop. “OH, you know what would be worse? Your ex's name.” 

Geralt chuckled, none of those were even close to what he was hiding, Jaskier knew it was just scars but liked to make it clear he didn’t care. “None of those,” Geralt took a deep breath as Jaskier got it past his hips, starting to show the faded dots of burn marks. 

“You okay? Want me to stop?” Jaskier put his hands up like Geralt was going to shoot him. 

Geralt shook his head but forgot Jaskier can’t see shit, “No,” All Geralt had to remember was Jaskier couldn’t see them. 

“Okay,” Jaskier slid his hands back down grabbing the waistband and pulling them down again until they were down to his knees. “Okay, okay” Jaskier hands slid up to Geralt’s thighs feeling the skin under his hands. “See not so bad, right?” 

Geralt watched Jaskier, rub his hands over the scarring, with care like he was reading an old book that would fall into dust with the wrong move. Geralt should know by now that Jaskier was never going to do anything to harm him on purpose. He was never going to ask about things if he wasn’t ready to talk about it. Geralt found himself reaching for the blindfold and pulling it down away from Jaskier’s eyes that were squeezed tightly shut. 

“You can open them,” Geralt ordered, seeing Jaskier’s blue eyes dart down to his thighs. He could see slight hurt in his eyes as they scanned over the scars before he spoke quickly “Aww, no morning wood?” 

Geralt smiled, “Not everyone is a morning person,” 

  
  


*** * ***

Jaskier and Geralt had gotten to the coffee shop 20 minutes late since Jaskier did, in fact, take forever to get dressed even with Geralt’s help. The rest of the boys were sitting at the table with their orders. 

“I’ll get us ours, you go” Jaskier smiled, gesturing with his head for Geralt to go sit down. Geralt smiled back, before walking to the table, the guys had pushed together 2 tables so they could properly talk to each other. 

“Late again?” Eskel raised an eyebrow at him, his arm was around Priscilla who was happily drinking a fancy latte. 

“Sorry,” Geralt sat down in an empty seat, hoping no one probed him why. 

“Well, we were talking about what we were doing on Christmas break,” Aiden spoke up, Lambert wasn’t at the table. 

“Where’s Lambert?” Geralt asked, slightly worried something bad happened. 

“Vesemir took him out for lunch with his sister,” Aiden rubbed his finger over the rim of his cup. “Coen told Vesemir about what was going on,” Aiden didn’t look overly pleased. 

“He needed some father time,” Coen frowned. “Someone other than his friends telling him he’s being an asshole.” 

“Whatever…” Aiden sighed, he was probably just mad that someone went over his boyfriend status. Jaskier walked over placing a mug down in front of Geralt and sat down on his left. “Sorry, we’re late, my fault.” 

“I bet it was,” Eskel winked at Geralt, making him red in the face. “Anyway, what is your plan for Christmas Geralt?” 

“I’m going back home for a bit,” Geralt blew steam off of his cup to cool it down. 

“Wait really?” Jaskier frowned, “You didn’t tell me that!” 

“Triss offered me a ride,” Geralt shrugged, His friend Letho was getting out of Prison on Christmas eve and he wanted to be there for him but mostly he wanted to see Roach. 

Jaskier looked really upset, as he stared into his mug. 

“...Well, Jaskier and I are going to be spending time with our parents, who are going to force us to go to church to tell us we live in sin” Pricilla took a drink “Classic Pankratz tradition.” 

“Sounds like a good old time,” Coen sighed, “Our families have something in common” Coen lived with his Grandmother who was super against him living life to the fullest and was super against what he was studying. 

“I do not envy any of you,” Aiden leaned his chin on the palm of his hand, “My Christmas’s are pretty normal.” 

“Lambert and I have some weird traditions that I hope will put him in good spirits,” Eskel smiled, “Plus, with our new foster sister and Renri it’s going to be fun showing them.” 

“What are they?” Aiden asked; Geralt was also curious since no one could be as weird as spending Christmas with a dog and buying yourself a gift pretending it is from the said dog. 

“Vesemir always does this thing were he hides our gifts outside, fucking one year Lambert and I had to climb a tree to get one.” Eskel chuckled to himself, “Something about working for it or knowing’ it’s value?” 

“That seems cruel,” Jaskier chuckled, “What if you can’t find them?” 

“We get hints so that never happens,” Eskel took a drink out of his coffee. 

“I spend mine with my dog every year,” Geralt spoke up, looking down at his hands. 

“You know you could spend Christmas with us, I’m sure Vesemir wouldn’t be opposed to the idea,” Eskel mumbled, Geralt liked the idea but really wanted to go home for many different reasons. 

“It’s fine,” Geralt shook his head, looking back up to everyone. 

Jaskier let out a sigh, “I really don’t want you to.” Geralt hadn’t told Jaskier what had happened before college with his mother but he was sure Jaskier had made the connection that home wasn’t a good place. 

“It’s fine,” Geralt repeated again, getting frowns from literally everyone at the table making him hot and uncomfortable. “I’m going to have a smoke,” He stood up and quickly walked out the door just to have a breather. His hands had started shaking for some reason, worried that he had upset everyone just for wanting to go home. 

He pulled out his pack of cigarettes seeing only three left, he vowed after this pack was empty he was done. He said that three packs ago, he placed one in his mouth getting it lit from the shelter of her hand, Breathing in the bitter ash flavour. 

“Geralt,” Jaskier walked out, zipping his coat back up to protect himself from the freezing wind.

Geralt let out a sigh, “I’m fine, you can go back in before you freeze to death.” 

Jaskier walked up to him pouting, “You’re not fine, talk to me” 

“I’m going because a friend I care about is about to get out of prison and I want to be there for him, I need to be there for him.” Geralt blew smoke out away from Jaskier before looking into his blue eyes. “I’ll be there a few days, max” 

“I’m just worried...I should go with you,” Jaskier stepped closer.

“No, Jaskier, just trust me okay?” Geralt cupped the side of Jaskier’s face and leaned down to kiss him. He was having a fuck it moment, who cared if people saw him, he loved Jaskier and he wanted people to know that he did. 

“It’s hot when you kiss me in public” Jaskier smiled, “Okay, I’ll trust you but when you get back you have to meet my friends” 

“Friends? You have more friends than just me?” Geralt joked, getting a large frown from Jaskier. 

“Yes, they just go to school out of town and their real people” Jaskier hit Geralt’s arm playfully. 

“Whatever you say Jaskier.” 


	31. Chapter 31

Finals Week, the week that makes or breaks most people in the first year of college. Geralt was stressed out, worried about the classes he wasn’t doing well in he couldn’t fail. He guessed it didn’t matter as much as Eskel or Lambert with their high-end degrees but it mattered to him because it would show himself he’s worth something. 

“I give up,” Geralt slammed his textbook shut, rubbing his temples. He had Jaskier sitting on his back massaging his aching muscles after his work out earlier that day. Jaskier would do this all the time without Geralt even asking for him to do it.

“Just take a break,” Jaskier chuckled, The two of them had been studying all afternoon since their classes ended around the same time. Finals were just around the corner and it was stressing Geralt out more than anything right now, he needed to pass. 

Geralt let out a sigh, crossing his arms in front of him so he could rest his head on them. Jaskier smoothed his thumb a long one of Geralt’s tender muscles, the lotion he used warmed his skin like a match was just lit. 

“You don’t have to do this…” Geralt mumbled, closing his eyes as Jaskier worked his way up the muscle hard but slow.

“I want to,” Jaskier leaned down and kissed the base of Geralt's neck, sending sparks through Geralt’s spine that made him shiver. “I like making you feel good” 

“Mhmm,” Geralt hummed, letting himself relax into it until Jaskier’s fingers gently smoothed over his scar and his whole body tensed up. It annoyed Geralt that his body would have this reaction even though he didn’t feel like anything bad was happening. It’s like his body was so used to the panic…

“Want me to stop?” Jaskier mumbled, moving his hands to a different muscle. Geralt shook his head swallowing hard as he tried to force his body to relax but it stayed tight. 

“Would you be opposed to having me post a photo for us on social media?” Jaskier asked, pumping some more lotion onto his hands. 

“Don’t you already do that?” Geralt opened his eyes, taking a sharp breath as Jaskier worked away a knot in his shoulder blade. 

“Saying ‘my best friend’ and stuff like that, I mean like sharing our relationship, the real one…” Jaskier sounded like he was begging but he always sounded that way when he wanted something. Geralt understood why Jaskier wanted them to be public, he hated hiding, the two of them being each other’s dirty secret. The only thing was that Jaskier would be outing him when he wasn’t even sure if he was gay or bi or just gay-for-Jaskier. 

“I don’t know,” Geralt let out a sigh, hearing a slight whine from Jaskier, “It’s just I don’t know what I am because it’s confusing but I know that I love y---” 

“I’m sorry what was that?” Jaskier’s voice got really loud and excited, “What did you just say?” 

“I don’t know?” Geralt looked over his shoulder to see Jaskier covering his mouth. 

“No, the other-other thing,” 

“I love you?” Geralt watched Jaskier nod, getting all teary-eyed before rolling off of Geralt and slamming his head into a pillow. Was that a wrong move?

“Did I say something wrong?” Geralt rolled on his side, wrapping his arms around Jaskier’s middle feeling sobs shake through his gut. “I fucked up didn’t I?” 

Jaskier rubbed his face into his pillow, shaking his head as he mumbled something into the pillow that Geralt couldn’t understand. Geralt kissed his ear feeling the heat that had pooled there. Geralt’s stomach had formed a knot making him feel sick to his stomach, he felt like he did everything wrong. Why did he say it? Was it too early for him to say that? 

Jaskier turned his head to Geralt, tears streaming down his face “No one has ever said that to me before.” 

Something in Geralt broke, how could have no one said those words to him before? His parents must have, his sister for sure, or was he just talking about lovers? He pulled Jaskier closer to his chest holding him there. How did he not see that Jaskier was just as broken as he was?

“I love you, okay? I’m just not sure I’m ready to shout it to the rooftops yet” Geralt wiped the tears out of Jaskier’s eyes, seeing more flow as he said the words again. 

“I love you too,” Jaskier whispered lightly like he was trying not to scare him away with the scary words. Commitment, that didn’t scare Geralt. He planted a kiss on Jaskier’s lips, tasting the salt tears that landed there, the wetness of his mouth that he held onto in memories and in the present. He wiped away Jaskier’s tears as they flowed down his face, wanting him to stop but knowing they were happy tears and not sad ones made him a little less worried that he did something wrong. 

He pulled away from the kiss to see the blue eyes that glittered as his partner smiled. “I’m sorry…” Jaskier whispered, “I know, you're not ready I just… want people to know your mine.” 

“I am yours, Always yours.”

*** * ***

Geralt had taken some time aside to talk with Lambert, he hadn’t seen him in a week or so as he had been coming for his exams non stop when he wasn’t in class. Aiden had said he was doing a little better since his lunch date with Vesemir which was good since he was starting to become a bearable force. 

“How are things with you and Aiden?” Geralt asked, leaning his back against the tree behind him, he had picked the courtyard of their dorm to talk with him since that was the best way to find him. 

“Alright, he’s still stressing out about everything” Lambert took a drag off his smoke, holding it there before blowing out a big grey cloud, “Even though football has ended he’s really up tight.” 

“Because of you, he’s trying to hold you up” Geralt sighed, “You should do something nice for him, something relaxing.” 

Lambert frowned, “Yeah?” 

“Yeah, Jaskier gets like that sometimes, really stressed and exhausted because I keep him up at night but a whole day where it’s about him cheers him up.” Geralt shrugged “Think about being in a relationship like the tires on a car, without air in all four wheels you can’t go anyway. So, fill up your wheels Lambert.” 

“That made no fucking sense” Lambert chuckled, 

“Sounded better in my head,” Geralt lit another smoke, feeling the flame from the lighter heat up his hand before fading out. 

“...I’m worried what I might do when my dad gets out,” Lambert mumbled, he had a pained look on his face like every time Lambert would talk about his feelings. It always shocked Geralt because he didn’t even talk to his own boyfriend like this. 

“You do nothing, like me, do fucking nothing” Geralt glared at Lambert, 

“I can’t--” 

“You can’t or you won’t?” Geralt growled, feeling himself getting angry at Lambert, he was the only person that made him feel like this.

Lambert didn’t say anything, flicking ashes onto the ground as he clenched his jaw tightly shut. 

“You know, my mother beat me,” Geralt let out a breath he was holding, he felt sick talking about this, he never had told anyone what had gone on in that home beside very minor details.

Lambert looked at him but still didn’t say anything, anger pooling in his eyes as he stared off into the courtyard, 

“My mother didn’t kill anyone but every time she chose drugs over me she killed pieces of the mother I loved,” Geralt swallowed hard, feeling the lump in his throat returning. “I didn’t do anything about it because I needed to be better, better then her so when she comes crawling back sober I can show her what I made of myself. You should do the same, you hear me?” 

Lambert was quiet for a while, before letting out a deep sigh, “You're more fucked up then I thought.” 

“Just as fucked as you,” Geralt smiled, feeling the fear of telling someone to lift off his shoulders. He thought it would be helpful if Lambert knew that he wasn’t the only one to have issues battling a battle no one could help him win. 

“Now, what does Aiden like?” Geralt probed, 

“Nah, you’re not helping me with that you fucking weirdo” Lambert nudged him, laughing “You keep trying to bone Jaskier, I got Aiden covered.” 

“Do you through?”

“I do, I know his favourite cheat day food is blueberry cheesecake, he really likes the beach which he’s fucked in this weather, and when I give him foot massages.” Lambert listed, trying to think of something else. “Supernatural, he could fucking watch that show all day.” 

“Looks like you got it covered then,” Geralt nodded, exhaling smoke into the air like a dragon. 

“Have I really been hard on him?” Lambert asked with worry in his eyes.

“You have been a fucking nightmare.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Late and short and crappy because of Father's day.   
> Next 3-4 chapters will be about their Christmas holiday, I will be switching between a bunch of POV's to give you an idea of everyone's home lives <3   
> Hope you enjoy.


	32. Chapter 32

Coen had been on a greyhound bus for nearly 3 hours, his back ached and his legs were sore. He hated taking these stupid things, there was never enough space for his long legs and since the bus was packed he couldn’t spread himself across the seats. Still another 2 hours and 40 minutes before he got home to Stratford, it was going to be close to dinner time by the time he got there. 

He let out a sigh, watching the trees zoom by that lined the highway before his phone buzzed in his hand quieting the music he was listening to. 

_From: Victoria_

_Heard you were coming home today, want to meet up for coffee tomorrow?_

_Seen at 3:30 PM_

Victoria was his childhood friend, well she used to be Victor but started transitioning in the middle of high school. The two of them stayed close friends, as well as sex buddies through that whole time. 

_From: Coen_

_Or tonight? ;) Still, have my house key right?_

_Seen at 3:34 PM_

_From: Victoria_

_Sex Goblin._

_Seen at 3:35 PM_

He was really excited to see her probably more than he was to see his granny, it’s not like their relationship was bad but her undertones of homophobia annoyed him. Being away for college had really changed him, he didn’t want that in his life anymore but it’s not like he could kick his 78-year-old grandmother out of his life. She raised him even though she didn’t have to. 

* * *

Aiden walked out to the parking lot beside the dorms, his gym bag over his shoulder as he walked to the big black pickup truck that his father owned. Aiden had just said goodbye to Lambert, he felt like these two weeks were going to be hell without him. They had been together almost every waking moment for 4 months. 

“Hey, big guy!” His father dropped down from the driver’s seat with a giant smile on his face. He had thick curly brown hair tied up into a little bun on the back of his head with honey-coloured brown eyes. 

“Hey, dad,” Aiden bear-hugged his father, squeezing him tightly. Aiden’s family lived two hours out of Ottawa, in a township called Deep River. He normally enjoyed seeing his family but he hated there was a part of himself he couldn’t show them. Acting like he was straight was easier when he didn’t love someone. 

“Ready to go see everyone at home?” His father tapped his back, “Your mother is excited to see you.” 

“Hm, Yeah” Aiden looked around seeing Vesemir helping Eskel and Lambert get their stuff in the back of the car as the two of them fought for who got shotgun. He would rather be with them right now because at least with Vesemir he didn’t have to hide. 

“You okay bud?” his father asked with worry in his voice. 

“Uh, Yeah, prefect” Aiden looked back at his father smiling, “Long drive lets get going.” Aiden quickly walked to the passenger side and got into the truck taking in a deep breath but his dad joined him. 

“Want to stop at Timmies for a hot chocolate?” He asked turning the truck on and putting it into gear. He locked eyes with Lambert as they drove off and Lambert smiled at him before getting into the backseat of the car. 

“Sure,” Aiden said, leaning his head on the window as they drove out. Aiden’s phone went off in his pocket as his Dad talked about all the baking his wife had done for Christmas and that he was going to pack on more weight then he did last year. 

_From: Babe_ _  
_ _It’s only 2 weeks Aiden, don’t look so sad._

_Seen at 4:12 PM_

_From: Hot shit._

_I’m going to miss your dumb face, you better face time me._

_Seen at 4:14 PM_

_From: Babe_

_Whatever you fucking need princess._

_Seen at 4:15 PM_

“Please don’t tell me you’re going to have your face glued to your phone all week” Aiden’s dad chuckled, “I’m going to have to lock it in the safe.” 

“Please don’t,” Aiden frowned, “I’d like to stay in touch with my friends over break.” 

“Nice to know you made friends,” Aiden’s father stopped at a red light, looking over at him. “Which friend are you texting? Is he on your team?” 

Aiden shook his head, “Roommate, making sure he locked the door before he left.” a nervous chuckle came out of his throat. 

Fuck this is going to be hard. 

*** * ***

Eskel’s hand was slapped away from the radio in the car, “No, drivers pick the music.” 

“So we get to listen to your shitty 70’s rock music?” Lambert growled in the back, getting a giggle from Ciri beside him, her hair was poorly tied into a ponytail and she was dressed in Eskel’s hand-me-downs that just barely fit her small frame. Eskel thought it was funny, it was clear Vesemir had no idea how to raise a little girl. Ciri was only 5 and a half and was a bright ray of sunshine who honestly didn’t care how she was dressed. 

“So, Ciri how are you liking it with the old man?” Eskel asked, pulling a cigarette out of his pack and getting a glare from Vesemir who rolled down the window beside Eskel slowly feeling the cool air hit him in the face. 

“Oh, it’s super fun!” Ciri kind of wiggled in her booster seat in the back. “We baked a cake, and cookies and I helped him fix that old jeep.” 

“She’s been a big help around the house,” Vesemir added, smiling big with pride for his new little daughter. “So has Renfri when she’s in a good mood.”

Eskel placed the cigarette into his mouth before lighting it with his lighter, blowing the smoke out the window so it didn’t blow into the back seat. 

“Surprising,” Lambert chined in from the back, giving Ciri a charming smile. Eskel always liked how good the kid’s Lambert was. You would think with the way he acted he wouldn’t but he gets this overprotective dad vibe when dealing with them.

“She’s been sober for 3 days now, you should be proud of her Lambert,” Vesemir mumbled. 

“3 days isn’t much,” Lambert stated, making a funny face at Ciri who stuck her tongue out at him. Eskel looked at Vesemir after blowing smoke out the window. He looked annoyed with Lambert for not being more proud of her but Eskel understood why Lambert was doing the ‘tough love’ act because he didn’t want to get let down when she didn’t follow through. 

“Is she back home?” Eskel asked, flicking the ashes through the window watching them hit the ground in the mirror. 

“Yeah, she said she didn’t want to be in a hot car with everyone,” Vesemir shrugged.

Eskel smiled, “Understandable.”

*** * ***

“You got your meds?” Jaskier opened the car door for Geralt, “Toothbrush? underwear?”

Geralt chuckled, “Yes, you watched me pack everything,” Jaskier and Geralt had said goodbye upstairs, kissing for a long time before coming down to load up in Triss’s car. Geralt was going to miss Jaskier, even though he would only be out of town for 3 days max before taking a bus back to Ottawa. 

“Just making sure, text me when you get there, or all the time” Jaskier smiled, as Geralt slid into Triss’s old beaten up car. “All the time please, I’d like that better”

“Your bromance is adorable,” Triss said as he slammed the trunk shut. 

“Bromance? We're married, didn't you hear?” Jaskier laughed, closing the door shut, Geralt quickly rolled down the window to hear the rest of their little chat. 

“I wasn’t invited?” Triss frowned “shame.” She walked up to Jaskier pulling him into a tight hug.

“Must have gotten lost in the mail,” Jaskier chuckled, “Take care of him will ya?” 

“Will do,” Triss smiled at Jaskier “Now we got a long ride ahead of us so I will see you in two weeks.” 

Geralt took a deep breath as Triss got into the driver’s seat. Jaskier looked sad, his eyes glued to Geralt as he rolled up the window and drove away. He kind of regretted leaving Jaskier behind but Jaskier wouldn’t like his world; it was not something he wanted to share with anyone. 

“You okay if I put music on?” Triss asked as they left the parking lot, Geralt nodded his head. Watching the school fading into the background as they drove away. His stomach turning into a giant knot as the fear of maybe seeing his mother set in.

* * *

Jaskier and Priscilla would be the last to leave, their driver was picking them up at 6 PM since that is when their parents would be back home from a business trip. Their parents hated it when they came home to an empty house, even though they spent so much time alone there growing up. 

“Did you ask mama and papa about Eskel coming over during break?” Jaskier asked, they were standing in the courtyard with their bags waiting for the car to pick them up. 

“No, I’m an adult they can’t tell me I can’t see my boyfriend,” Priscilla growled, she looked over at Jaskier. “What about Geralt?” 

“We're still secret so they don’t know we're dating,” Jaskier shrugged, “Probably better that way, last time I had a boyfriend over they kind of…” Jaskier trailed off thinking about the anger in their voices. 

“Yeah...it’s just two weeks.” She sighed, seeing a black car pull up in front of the building. 

“Two weeks,” Jaskier echoed, as they both walked up to the car. A tall man stepped out of the car dressed in a uniform that hugged his slender frame perfectly.

“Good evening,” he smiled, before opening the door to the back seat of the car “I’ll take care of your bags so you can get right in.” 

Jaskier and Priscilla left their suitcases on the sidewalk as they climbed into the back of the car. Jaskier was once again reminded of the privilege he had compared to everyone he knew. He honestly hated it. The door was closed behind them and the driver packed their suitcases into the back of the car. 

“I already don’t want to be here,” Jaskier choked out before feeling his sister's hand hold his. Giving him a caring smile, he was so glad he wasn’t an only child like their parents wanted to happen. 

“We got this,” She leaned her head on his shoulder as the driver got into the front of the car. He was a new driver, the two of them hadn’t met before but it didn’t matter he would probably get fired in a week. 

“Dinner will be ready for you two when we get there,” The driver said, turning back onto the main road. 

“Are our parents joining us?” Jaskier asked, hoping no would be the answer. 

“No, they ate at the airport,” The driver answered before silence took over the car. The twins were left to their worry about seeing their parents again for the first time since the night at the bar. They may not have been beaten, or deal with murders but love doesn’t exist in that house.


	33. Chapter 33

Coen looked around the kitchen making sure his Granny wasn’t anywhere nearby before slowly opening the cookie jar. Granny made the best shortbread cookies but he was only allowed to have one after dinner. 

“Young man!” Her voice boomed behind him and he slammed the cookie into his mouth and turned around seeing her, hands on her hips, a cocky smile. 

“What?” He mumbled, chewing fast trying to get it down as quickly as possible. 

“You know the rules,” She walked beside him, grabbing the jar off the counter and sliding it into one of the cupboards. “No, cookies until after dinner it’s my only rule.” 

“No Idea what you’re talking about,” Coen smirked, kissing her cheek getting a light chuckle from her, “You’re lucky you're handsome young man.” 

She always said how handsome he was, how much he looked like his father at that age. It must be so hard for her to see her son but it wasn’t her son.

“Well, I’m going to see Vicky, she’s picking me up for lunch” Coen smiled, walking to the front door. 

“Okay, say hi to him for me” 

Coen looked back at her, wanting to correct her, but not wanting to start another fight about this. There were too many times they had fought about Vicky’s pronouns and her not understanding why it was so important. He let out a deep sigh and slid his shoes on, and threw his jacket on. 

“Be back before dinner, you hear? I’d like to spend some time with my grandson.” She called from the kitchen.

“Yeah,” Coen shouted back before leaving the house. The moment the door closed he swore under his breath as he walked down the driveway wishing Vicky wasn’t late for everything because he wanted to get out of here before he went back in there to have another disagreement. He looked down at his phone, Vicky was 5 minutes late which was normal. 

He waited outside for another 10 minutes, having a cigarette as he waited before she finally came up with a honk of her horn. Coen didn’t even get up to the car before she jumped out of the driver’s seat and jumped into his arms. 

“Oh fuck!” She nearly knocked him on his ass until he steadied himself and held her up by her thighs. 

“I missed you, buddy,” Vicky giggled, her voice sounded smooth like velvet, knocking his focus off the new feeling of squeezing breast against his chest. 

“When did you get a boob job?” Coen put her back down on the ground seeing her hazel eyes that were framed so well with her thick eyelashes. Her black hair fell to the middle of her chest in beach curls. 

“I told you I was getting surgery for them before you left for college!” She hit his arm hard. It was crazy how every time he saw her she was more beautiful than the last. 

“They look nice,” Coen’s eyes were glued to them poking out of her jacket, perfectly shaped and it looked like she took his advice on the sizing. It gave her that hourglass shape that she had been working at for so long. 

“You know I’d take you staring as a bad thing but you helped pick them out,” Vicky giggled. 

“Sorry,” Coen laughed and looked back at her eyes, “You just get more beautiful every time I see you.” 

“Your cheesy let’s go Romeo” 

*** * ***

Aiden had just woke up, alone. It felt weird waking up in a twin bed without Lambert beside him. He stared at the wall feeling lonely, he wondered if Lambert was up. He grabbed his phone off the end table seeing a good morning text from Lambert that was sent an hour ago. He forgot Lambert woke up at the crack of dawn all the time. 

_ From: Hot shit _

_ Morning, want to facetime?  _

_ Seen at 9:46 AM _

_ From: Babe _ _   
_ _ Didn’t I fucking facetime you last night? Needy. _

_ Seen at 9:47 AM _

Aiden frowned, about to send a bitchy text before his phone started to ring, Lambert actually faced timed him without bitching about it. He quickly answered it, seeing Lambert and a cute little ashen haired girl laying on his chest, eyes fixed on what seemed to be the TV out of frame. 

“Hey, Babe,” Lambert smiled, making Aiden heart hurt seeing him with a little kid made him crave having that later in life so much. 

“Hey,” Aiden smiled, “Is that Ciri?” 

“Yeah, morning cartoons” Lambert mumbled, it was weird not hearing him say Fuck every second word. “You sleep well?” 

“Not really, not the same without you” Aiden lowered the volume on his phone just in case his brother next door to him was awake. 

“You’re obsessed with me,” Lambert chuckled, “I know what you mean though, I didn’t sleep well either.” 

“Is that your boyfriend?” Ciri looked up at the phone with this cute little smile on her face, “He’s cute.” 

Aiden found himself smiling widely, even this 5-year-old accepted him. 

“He is, isn't he?” Lambert kissed the top of Ciri’s head, why was Lambert so god damn sweet with kids? Aiden’s ovaries would be shaking if he was a woman. 

“Lambert can you help set the table!?” Vesemir called from out of the frame and Aiden sighed, not wanting him to hang up. 

“Sorry, I gotta go, Call you tonight” Lambert hung up the call and Aiden felt alone again. Fuck, he hated this, why was he acting like this? No other person he dated made him feel this way. 

A knock echoed through his room and he sighed when he heard his mother’s voice on the other side of the door. “Hey dear, you awake?” 

“Yes,” He called back, sitting up in bed and throwing on a T-shirt he had on the ground. 

The door cracked up, seeing his mother’s face peeking in “Could you come give your father a hand? It snowed a lot last night.” 

Aiden nodded, standing up out of bed, he grabbed a pair of jeans and slid them on. His mother was not moving from the door. 

“Are you alright? You seem different since you got home” His mother looked worried, she was the softer parent. 

“Yeah, fine” He put on some socks and slid his phone into his pocket. 

“You sure?” She blocked his way out of his room, smiling shyly at him “You know you can talk to us about anything right?” 

No, he couldn’t, there was no way he would know how they would react to him being gay. They never outright talked negatively about the LGBT community but they never supported it either. 

“Nothing is wrong.” 

*** * ***

Lambert helped Vesemir set the table, as Eskel was trying to do Ciri’s hair with Renfri’s help. Hopefully, her hair didn’t look like a mess like it had been. 

“We should probably buy her better clothes,” Lambert mumbled bringing a handful of forks to the table, “Ones that fucking fit her.” 

“Yeah, she came here with clothes but she’s growing out of them,” Vesemir placed the plates down at spots at the table. 

“It’s all the baked goods,” Renfri laughed, handing Eskel another pin to pin her braid into a little bun. 

“A little weight never hurt anyone,” Vesemir smiled, putting down a plate of pancakes in the middle of the table. 

“You say that now,” Lambert chuckled lazily putting the forks near the plates. Vesemir let out a sigh as he walked back to the kitchen to grab more stuff for the table. A part of Lambert wished Aiden was here spending the holidays cuddled up with him. He didn’t think being apart from him was going to be hard on him but it turned out it was. 

“Alright all done kiddo, go wash up” Eskel kissed the top of her head before she ran away giggling to the bathroom. 

“We did pretty good,” Renfri high fived Eskel as he nodded in approval. 

“So, I heard you talking to Aiden, how is he doing?” Vesemir asked, placing the bacon at the table. Lambert still hadn’t told Renfri about Aiden and his relationship, he eyed her seeing no change in his expression from the question as she sat down at the table. 

“Good,” Lambert sat down, hoping Vesemir didn’t ask any more questions because he didn’t want to have to explain to his half-sister that he’s in love with a guy.

“Good, are you planning on seeing him over the holidays?” Vesemir got Ciri’s plate ready, cutting up pieces of pancake. 

“He lives 2 hours from here so no” Lambert mumbled, putting pancakes on his plate. 

“I could drive you, make a day out of it so you could spend some time with your boy--” Just before Vesemir said the words he knocked his knife to the ground making everyone stare at him. 

“Oh fuck sorry clumsy me,” Lambert glared at Vesemir as he slowly picked up the fork off the ground. Making the old man confused as fuck, thankfully Ciri came skipping into the room getting her spot at the table. 

“What is going on?” Renfri looked at Lambert confused, probably putting two and two together from half of the word Vesemir said. “Aren’t you and Aiden just friends?” 

Eskel snorted as he shoved a mouth full of pancakes into his mouth. 

“Yes, Just friends” Lambert growled, getting a weird look from Vesemir again as the words slipped out. 

“You know my grandmother always said love isn’t meant to be hidden away and life is too short for shame.” Ciri smiled widely as she watched Vesemir cut the pancakes into small pieces. Lambert sighed, feeling a tight knot in his chest form, maybe she was right. 

Eskel laughed, “Look who got shown up by a 5-year-old.” 

* * *

Geralt walked down the hall of apartment doors, already finding it hard to breathe as he walked past his door. He wasn’t sure if she was there or if she hadn't come back but he wasn’t ready to find out. He walked to the end of the hall, to the last door on the right before taking a deep breath. 

The owner of the building lived here, he had been keeping Roach with him since Geralt left for college. This man was the closest he had to a father figure in his life. Geralt knocked on the door hearing rumbles of a dog barking that melted his anxiety away the moment he heard it. 

The door swung open, an old man with silvery locks that were cut short against his head and bright coppery eyes stood there. “Geralt?” The man smiled, “Roach, look who's here!” 

He moved aside letting this big, dork of a dog barrel at Geralt but the moment Geralt up his hand and she slid to a halt. Sitting pretty and waiting for her reward, Roach was a Greater swiss mountain dog. Geralt had adopted her 5 years ago, teaching her hand signals and that people are nice. She has only ever liked Geralt and Henry the owner of this building. 

“Such a good girl,” Geralt got on his knees and gave her hard pets as she huffed with excitement. 

“She has really missed you,” Henry stated, “stood by the door the first month or so.” 

“I’m going to try and get an apartment in Ottawa over the summer so I can bring her with me next year,” Geralt smiled, planting kisses on Roach’s head before she returned them with a wet lick on his face. 

“I’m going to miss her company,” Henry chuckled, “You want to come in for some coffee?” 

Geralt nodded, standing up and following him in, Roach ran to her bed in the corner that Geralt had set up. She picked up her little duck plush in her mouth and brought it to Geralt as he sat down on the couch. 

“You got a duck?” Geralt smiled, The duck was her favourite toy and had been fixed up many times from when she played too rough. Roach dropped it in Geralt's lap and barked at him, “Later Roach.”

“Your mother hasn’t been around,” Henry called from the kitchen, “You’re behind 2 months’ rent now.” 

Geralt sighed, “Can you wait until I get my next half of OSAP?” 

“Don’t worry about it,” Henry poked his head out from the kitchen, “You don’t have to pay me, I’m just keeping you up to date.” 

Geralt looked down at Roach, petting the top of her head to keep himself calm. “Thank you, I know it’s probably hard on you.” 

“Not at all, I want you out of this hell hole Geralt” Henry went back into the kitchen the moment the kettle clicked off and came out moments later with two mugs in hand. “Still take it black?” 

Geralt nodded and grabbed the mug from him, “So I’m guessing rehab didn’t stick?” 

“Guess not, she had come here 2 months ago asking if I knew where you were” Henry sat down, his bones cracking as the couch took his weight. “I told her I didn’t know.” 

Geralt looked into his mug, feeling the heat coming off of it he stayed quiet. 

“Geralt, Why did you come back?” Henry took a sip of his coffee, “I honestly didn’t think I would see you until summer.” 

“Letho, He’s getting out of Prison” Geralt shrugged, 

“That kid really fell through the crack,” Henry sighed, “I have an apartment opening up if he needs it.” 

Geralt shook his head, “He’s going to be at a halfway house, but thanks for the offer.” 

*** * ***

Jaskier sat in front of the piano pushing keys with mindless intent. He had only been here a whole 24 hours and he wanted to leave. His friends' flights were not coming in until tomorrow. He missed everyone at school, even Lambert’s abuse was better than here. 

“Make some room,” Priscilla walked up, kind of dressed like a human doll unlike how she normally dresses. Priscilla’s style was very ‘hippie’ like but when she was home it was like she was a different person. 

Jaskier moved so she could sit down beside him, “They make you change?” 

She nodded, playing a little tune on one end of the piano. 

“They haven’t spoken a word to me, Papa sent one of the housekeepers to tell me he was happy I was home.” Jaskier hit one of the keys hard, “Fucking coward.” 

“Mama told me that you poisoned the womb so that’s why I’m such a slut,” Priscilla smiled widely at Jaskier to cover the pain she was really feeling. “Like being a slut is a bad thing, there is nothing wrong with being comfortable in your own sexuality.” 

Jaskier sighed, “I’m sorry,” Their lives were fine before Jaskier came out and ruined their family. 

“Don’t, better you to be yourself” Priscilla leaned her head on his shoulder, “Next year I think we should take everyone to Cuba.” 

“Good luck getting Geralt to fly,” Jaskier snorted. 

“Speaking of Geralt have you heard from him?” She asked, 

“Yeah, he’s safe with friends,” Jaskier pulled out his phone. “ Want to see his cute dog?” 

She shot up, “Yes!” 

Jaskier pulled up the photo of Roach with her little duck in her mouth and Priscila sucked in a deep breath. “Oh. My. God” 

“Her name is Roach, and I wished I was there to kiss that little face!” Jaskier screeched, “I face timed with them a little earlier, she is in love with him.” 

“Aww, I wish we could have a dog,” Priscilla sighed, “When we got our own apartment we were getting a dog.” 

Jaskier nodded in approval, “Totally.” 


	34. Chapter 34

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING: Vi*lent H*mophobia (Ab*se?)

The Christmas lights glowed through the darkness of the night as they drove by in awe of the house's creative displays, it was Coen’s favourite Christmas eve traditions he and Vicky had. They used to walk around in the cold until the wee hours of the morning as teenagers and now they drive. 

“Look at that house!” Vicky pointed, the lights reflecting in her eyes as she pulled over in front of it, it was beautiful flashing in all different colours. 

“Wow,” Coen whispered, he couldn’t wait to have his own place so that he could do this and wow other people. All he wanted was to make other people happy. 

Vicky looked at him, staring into his eyes “I love how the lights hit your eyes,” She whispered. He froze staring into her eyes as she slowly leaned into him, pressing her lips against his. Vicky’s lips were sticky with a lip gloss that tastes like cherries, drawing him in for more. He slid tongue into her mouth, having her return the favour, pulling him closer to her. Coen’s stomach pushed against the centre console which he didn’t mind if it meant being closer to her. 

Vicky pulled off, catching her breath “We need to talk,” she huffed out. 

“About what?” Coen asked as he slid his hand up her thigh, making her smile. 

“Get back, you fiend” Vicky pushed him back into his seat playfully, the two of them stayed silent for a bit before Vicky cleared her throat. 

“What are we?” Vicky looked over at him, “Like what am I to you?” 

Coen sighed, they had this same conversation before he left for college he thought they had been over this. “Jesus, Vicky, we talked about this.” 

“Yeah, but were falling back into the same routine!” Vicky grumbled, 

“We haven’t even slept together yet so no were not!” Coen shouted, “I don’t want a relationship, how many fucking times do I have to tell you that?” 

Vicky frowned, staring at him, her face flushed red with anger “We have been fucking each other since high school, I need more than that Coen.”

Coen put his head in his hands and sighed deeply, He hated explaining why he didn’t want to be in a relationship, why it was better for her to just find someone else that would be better. 

“Vicky, listen, I care about you a lot, you are my fucking bestest friend on this whole planet but I can’t…” Coen swallowed hard, “I just can’t…Your better off--”

Vicky slammed her hand against the steering wheel in anger, “Don’t pull that, you’re better off without me bullshit. Anyone who meets you knows your one of a kind.” She wiped a tear off of her face, sniffling “I love you Coen but I can’t keep doing this.” 

Coen hated those three little words, there was so much weight behind it and all he was going to do was disappoint her. 

“Then don’t, it’s your fault for catching feelings!” Coen fought to get his seat belt off, pushing the door open feeling the cold air of the night hitting his skin as he slammed the door shut behind himself. Getting close to someone was a bad idea, it was his only rule, never fall in love because it only leads to heartbreak. 

“Coen!” Vicky stepped out of the car, shouting for him as he walked away from the car and down the road. “You can’t just keep living like this, thinking everyone you love will die!” 

Coen kept marching, stuffing his hands into his pockets to shield them from the cold wind of the winter air. Why did he come back? Why didn’t he stay with the guys for Christmas? 

*** * ***

_ From: Coen  _

_ Fuck, I don’t want to be here anymore. _

_ Seen at 10:35 PM _

_ From: Aiden _

_ What happened? _

_ Seen at 10:37 PM _

_ From: Coen _

_ Call you in the morning, too hard to explain over text. _

_ Seen at 10:39 PM _

“What did I say Aiden,” His father stared at him from the lazy boy chair. Aiden sighed and looked back at the movie. They were watching Home Alone like they did every year on Christmas eve.

Aiden sighed and dropped the phone into his lap and crossed his arms, his dad was getting more and more annoyed with him being on his phone all the time. 

“Look who isn’t the favourite anymore,” Aiden’s brother Elijah beside him nudged his arm. Elijah was three years younger than him and always joked that Aiden was loved more which wasn’t really the case. 

“Shut up,” Aiden mumbled, nudging him back, everyone went silent again, watching the movie that they had seen a dozen times. Aiden’s phone went off again in his lap, it nearly took everything he had not to look at. It was probably Lambert, the more time they spent apart the more needy Lambert became. Aiden didn’t mind when his dad wasn’t being a pain. 

Aiden took a deep breath feeling his phone buzz again this time, longer, fuck Lambert was face timing him. He stood up holding his phone in hand as he walked by his dad. 

“Hey,” His father grabbed his wrist and the screen of his phone illuminated his face as he looked at the photo of Lambert and Aiden kissing that he used as his boyfriend’s contact photo. 

Fuck.fuck.fuck. 

There was that awkward moment for a split second until his father grabbed the phone out of his hand before letting go of his wrist. Aiden’s heart was beating out of his chest, his father hadn’t said a word he was being so calm and collected. 

“Dad…” Aiden went to grab his phone back but he dodged him, his mother on the couch looked confused not really sure what was going on. 

“What’s his name?” his father asked, opening up the text conversation with Lambert. His stomach knotted up feeling sick as he started typing something. 

“Lambert…” Aiden swallowed, “Dad, please.” what the fuck was he texting him? Why was he so calm? Fuck, why was he so stupid for using that photo? 

After a few moments, he handed the phone back to Aiden. “I invited him to dinner on new years eve, you got ten minutes and I want you back here without your phone.” 

Aiden stared at his dad like he was joking, or was this a fucking dream? he looked down at the messages on the screen.

_ From: Hot shit _

_ Hi, this is Aiden’s father, would you like to come to dinner on New Year’s Eve? I’d love to meet you, Lambert. _

_ Seen at 11:03 PM _

_ From: Babe _

_????? Are you pulling my leg? _

_ Seen at 11:04 PM _

_ From: Hot shit _

_ No, it’s at 6 PM, do you live close? _

_ Seen at 11:05 Pm _

_ From: Babe _

_ No, but my dad loves Aiden so it won’t be a problem.  _

_ Seen at 11:06 PM _

“Okay…” Aiden ran out of the living room and up the stairs feeling hot tears flowing down his face. Did his dad just fucking accept him? Like he didn’t yell or freak out, he wants to meet Lambert? What to tell him to leave his son alone? 

Aiden slammed his door shut, flopping on to his bed, trying not to sob as he face-timed Lambert so picked up just after the first ring. 

“What the fuck Aiden!?” Lambert shouted into the phone, Eskel was laughing in the background like an ass hole. “You should warn a guy!” 

“I think I just came out to my dad...by accident” Aiden choked out, rubbing the tears off his face. 

“Are you okay?” Lambert asked, looking worried “Want me to come to get you?” 

Aiden shook his head hoping the tears would stop flowing “I’m fine,”

Eskel leaned into the frame, “Did it go well?” 

“I think so, he’s not mad...he just went about things as normal” Aiden rubbed his nose “I’m stupid, shouldn’t have used a photo of us kissing as your contact picture.” 

“Well, just happy it fucking went well and that your fucking dying” Lambert let out a sigh of relief. “I love you,” 

“I love you too,” Aiden smiled lightly, a knock came at Aiden’s door “Love you, talk to you later.” He hung up his phone and wiped his face quickly trying to not look like he was just crying. 

“Come in” 

The door swung open, his dad standing in the door “You okay bud?” 

Aiden nodded as he sat up, “You’re not mad?” 

“Well, a little but only because you felt the need to hide, I guess me and your mother didn’t make it clear enough that we don’t care.” his father walked into the room and sat down beside Aiden on the bed. 

“You didn’t, I felt like you were always expecting me to come home with a girl” Aiden sighed, 

“And you did many times, so we kept expecting it, you never showed interest in boys.” 

“Because I didn’t want people to know”

  
  


*** * ***

Geralt was sitting on a park bench with Letho who seemed to have spent a lot of time working out as he was bigger than Geralt was. Letho used to be a pretty small kid but now was a fucking brick wall. 

Geralt pulled out a cigarette and held one out to Letho, “Smoke?” The two of them had awkwardly been sitting there trying to avoid bringing him to the halfway house.

“Sure,” Letho grabbed it and waited for Geralt to pass him the lighter after lighting his own. “So what have you been up to wolf?” Letho gave him that nickname when they were kids, Geralt kind of hated it. 

Geralt shrugged, “Been at school, still don’t know what I want to do with my life.” Geralt blew smoke out of his mouth, “Did you get my letters?” The two of them used to write letters to each other but it became one-sided until last month.

Letho nodded, “Yup,” He took a drag off his smoke, looking down at Geralt. “At least you're making a name for yourself.” 

“Mhmm, How was prison?” Geralt asked, feeling stupid but what else were they going to talk about? 

Letho chuckled, “What kind of question is that?” 

“It’s all I got, it’s been 6 years Letho I don’t know,” Geralt sighed, holding his hands close to his mouth to heat them up with his breath. They had been sitting out here for hours saying nothing. 

“It was okay, no one really bugged me” Letho shrugged, he had been tried as an adult for the crimes he did, Geralt never got the full story but something about him setting a house on fire. 

“Well, your fucking giant now” Geralt laughed, 

“Fair,” Letho smirked, taking a drag off his smoke. “Seen your mother since the event?” 

Geralt shook his head, “Not since I got out of the hospital” Geralt rubbed his nose with the back of his hand. 

“Hmm, rough,” Letho blew another thick cloud out of his mouth. “How’s Yen?” 

“Broke up, guess I forgot to tell you that,” Geralt flicked ashes on to the ground “I took out my anger on her, she got upset...we broke up.” 

“Hmm, Better off I’d say.” 

* * *

Eskel walked into the kitchen seeing Lambert and Ciri eating Oreos, well more just eating the centers of them. Lambert had a pile of the chocolate cookies on a plate beside him as he handed Ciri another cookie. 

“Are you teaching her bad things?” Eskel asked, opening the fridge to grab two beers for him and Vesemir. 

“It’s not bad if it’s the right way,” Lambert licked off the center of the oreo and handed the chocolate parts to Eskel. “I know you only like the chocolate bits.” 

Eskel smiled, him and Lambert hadn’t done this since they were kids, he grabbed the two cookies and ate them before sliding into the seat beside Lambert. 

Ciri wiggled as she grabbed another oreo out of the pack with a giant smile on her face. 

“You guys better not let Vesemir see you,” Eskel grabbed another oreo shell off the plate and ate it. 

“He loves me,” Ciri giggled and licked the centre out getting a giant smile from Lambert that Eskel had never seen before. 

Eskel was happy that Ciri ended up in Vesemir’s care and no one else's, this was a good place for her because there would always be people to love her here. 

“Where is Renfri?” Eskel asked, seeing the smile leave Lambert’s face who shrugged. 

“I think in her room,” Lambert sighed, “I don’t know, we haven’t talked much since I got home.” 

Eskel ate another cookie, opening one of the cans of beer to wash it down. “You guys probably should, you two are going through the same thing.” 

Lambert didn’t say anything, just grabbed another Oreo out of the pack and opened it. 

“Good talk Lambert,” Eskel tapped his shoulder, and stood up, leaving the kitchen to see Vesemir falling asleep in his lazy boy in the living room as the TV boomed in the background. 

“Vesemir,” Eskel put the beer in front of his face, “Old man.” 

Vesemir jumped out of his sleep, grabbing the beer in his hands “Sorry, must have dozed off.” 

Eskel smiled, sitting down on the couch, taking a deep drink of his beer. 

“So when do I get to meet your Girlfriend?” Vesemir opened the can with a click, taking a sip. 

“Soon, probably after Christmas” Eskel took another drink, “Her birthday is on new years, I know 100% were seeing each other then.” Eskel talked to Priscilla every day, she and Jaskier seemed to be going through a lot at home. She had called him crying more than a dozen times because of something her mother said about her. He never expected their family to be so horrible. 

“Maybe we can have her for dinner some time.” 

*** * ***

Jaskier listened to the choir singers that echoed through the halls of the church as the priest walked out, shaking people’s hands as he walked. He And Priscilla were forced into their Sunday best for Christmas eve mass which Jaskier hated being at. He was already getting sideways looks from other families who knew he was gay since his mother even shut up about it. 

He took a deep breath when the whole church finally took a seat, his sister laced her fingers with his as they both hated being here. This whole place was the reason their parents hated them. 

Jaskier’s father looked over at the two of them and sighed, “Stop it, you too will embarrass us,” He whispered.

“I think that ship has sailed, wrecked and sank to the bottom of the ocean,” Jaskier looked at his father, seriously annoyed that the two of them holding hands was a bad thing. 

“Julien, not here,” Father clenched his jaw tightly. 

He hated it when people called him by his real name, “Jaskier, I don’t answer to a lowly name like Julien.” 

“Julien is your grandfather's name, don’t eve--” His father noticed that the families near them were annoyed with them whispering loudly at each other. “One more word from you and your waiting in the car.” 

Jaskier looked at him, seeing the rage boiling in his father's eyes. Priscilla nudged him whispering for him to stop probably because she didn’t want to be here without him. 

“I shouldn’t be here anyway because I stick my dick in men doesn’t that make me a sinner?” Jaskier smiled, he was fed up with his father being an asshole since he got home. His father stood up, grabbing Jaskier’s arm and pulled him out of the bench 

Jaskier’s mother was about to say something but ended up looking down at her feet as Jaskier basically got dragged out of the church. 

“Why do you do this!?” His father shouted the moment they got outside in the cold air, still holding onto Jaskier’s arm so hard it started to burn and ache. 

“Do what Papa?” Jaskier yelled back, “Be me and not a carbon copy of you!?” 

“You're an embarrassment to this family and you're dragging your sister down with you!” His father pulled him closer to the heat from his breath.

“Let go of me,” Jaskier pulled his arm back but his Father’s grip got tighter, 

“I want you to go back in there and apologize to your mother,” His father growled out. 

“I did nothing fucking wrong,” Jaskier pulled his arm again, “God made me this way remember.” 

His father let go of his arm before backhanding Jaskier across the face, It was the first time his father ever raised a hand to him. Jaskier held the side of his face, feeling the numbness then the pain that came afterwards. He could taste the blood in his mouth, how hard did his dad hit him? The shock of it hadn’t faded, he didn’t know what to do.

Jaskier looked up at his father, he didn’t even look hurt about it, not even a little. 


	35. Chapter 35

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING: Talk about D*ug and Alc*hol Abu*e

Coen had gotten up early to call Aiden in the morning, he barely slept as he had felt horrible about what he had said to Vicky the night before. It stuck to his ribs and was making it hard to breathe. Coen had wrapped himself in a blanket, sitting outside in the cold, watching the stars disappear as the sun peaked the horizon. He slid his phone out of his pocket and called Aiden, getting a raspy tired voice on the other end. 

“Hello?” 

“Hey...Sorry if I woke you,” Coen sighed, 

“It’s fine man, what’s up? You sounded upset last night,” Aiden yawned into the phone, it was barely 7 in the morning and Aiden wasn’t much of a morning person. It made Coen feel worse for calling him up like this. 

“So, I told you about Vicky right?” Coen swallowed, he had talked about her in the LGBT group a lot. 

“Mhmm,” 

“She still wants to date me…” Coen took a deep breath trying to keep his eyes on the sun peeking up in the sky. 

“Those types of feelings just don’t go away Coen,” Aiden stated, “She loves you, why not see where it goes? Set ground rules you know?” 

Coen didn’t say anything, just lit another cigarette taking a deep drag off of it. 

“Coen?” Aiden yawned again “You still there?” 

“Mhmm, but what happens if it doesn’t work out?” Coen choked out, 

“Then it doesn’t work out, me and the guys will take you out for ice cream so you can cry it out.” Aiden chuckled, “I’ve been through my fair share break up, it just means they weren’t right for you so you will find someone that is.” 

Coen went silent again, taking another long drag off the cigarette, blowing the thick smoke into the air. Coen had been scared of heartbreak his whole life, fear that someone he loved would die, fearing that someone would leave him. Aiden just talking about how life moves on and you will find something better. 

“I don’t know,” Coen sighed,

“Just try a few dates, like real dates, not one night stands,” Aiden suggested. “A real date, the real thing.” 

Coen felt weird about it, he hadn’t been a real date ever, it was always about hookups. Even with Vicky he only ever wanted it to friends with benefits. He wanted to stop talking about it because it was making his head spin but he also didn’t want to just hang up on Aiden either. 

“How’s your week going?” 

“I came out to my family, by accident,” Aiden laughed, 

“By accident? How does that even happen?” Coen laughed with him.

“Well, Lambert facetimed me and my dad saw the contact photo” Aiden sounded a little more awake now. “It went well, Lambert is meeting my family on New Year’s eve, I’m nervous.” 

“Well, I’m glad it went well--” Coen was cut off by another call coming in, he took the phone off his ear and looked at who it was. 

Eskel,

“I have to go, Eskel’s calling, Talk later?” Coen got a knot in his stomach, what had happened? 

“Uh yeah, sure” 

Coen hung up on Aiden and answered the next call before he could even say the full greeting Eskel nearly shouted into the phone. 

“Something happened with Jaskier have you heard from Geralt?” 

*** * ***

Eskel dropped ice into a zip lock bag getting it to about half full before closing it off. Jaskier and Priscilla had shown up early this morning, Jaskier was bruised and swollen. None of them told him what happened, they have sat silently in the living room for over an hour now. Coen was trying to get a hold of Geralt to see if he could come back today and not tomorrow night. 

Eskel grabbed a dish towel and warped it around the bag before walking into the living room seeing Jaskier and Priscilla cuddled up and dressed up in clothes he never would picture the two of them wearing. 

“Here,” Eskel handed Jaskier the ice pack he made up, seeing the swelling that took up most of the lower half of his right side of his face. 

Jaskier held it up to his face, getting a pained look in his eyes as it touched the swollen area. 

“What happened?” Eskel asked, again for the 4th time, getting not even a look from Jaskier. 

“Our papa hit him,” Priscilla finally said, her voice cracking like she was trying not to cry. 

“It’s my fault, I egged him on” Jaskier choked out, his voice was rough like he had been crying for hours. 

“Jaskier, that still doesn’t give him a right to do that” Eskel said, things were worse than it thought. How long had this family had been hiding this? “How long has this been happening?” 

“First time,” Jaskier said, “Guess he finally hit his limit for how much gay he could handle.” Jaskier nervously laughed to cover up the fact he wanted to cry. 

Eskel sighed, Even though he wasn’t a fan of Jaskier he still was part of the group and seeing him like this hit different. Jaskier was just as broken as the rest of them but was just better at hiding it behind his colourful personality. 

“I’ll get you guys some pillows and blankets,” Eskel sat up from the chair, “It will be a while before everyone wakes up so you could get a few hours of sleep.” 

Eskel walked to his bedroom that he shared with Lambert to grab the share sheets out of their closet. Lambert was out like a light, hugging the pillow on his bed like it was his boyfriend. It was the first time all week he had seen him asleep this long, Eskel wondered if Aiden coming out had anything to do with it.

Eskel grabbed the sheets and spare pillows to bring back to the living room, the Twins were still cuddled on the couch comforting each other. He felt bad for them, everyone thought their lives were perfect yet here they were dealing with shit no one knew about. Eskel guessed money couldn’t buy everything.

He placed the sheets on the ground before sitting down beside them wrapping his arm around Priscilla who barely moved to his touch. He hated not seeing them smile. It felt wrong like the world was out of balance. 

“It’s okay, You have us” Eskel whispered.

* * *

Geralt had stayed up most of the night with Letho before dropping him off at the halfway house. Letho was late for curfew but they only gave him a warning since he only just got out. Geralt had walked back home, staring at his old apartment door trying to work up the courage to look inside. He had been just standing here for over an hour just staring at the door like a psychopath. 

“She’s not there,” a voice called Geralt turned to look from the hall, seeing Yennefer standing there, beautiful as ever. His stomach knotted up just seeing her thinking about her trying to get him back into her life even though she’s dating someone else. 

“How do you know?” Geralt grunted, looking back at the door, playing with his house keys in hand. 

“I come here every day,” Yennefer walked quickly past him, her scent hitting him hard. She hasn’t changed a bit. 

“Why?” 

“I bring Henry breakfast every morning,” She mumbled, 

“Why so you can learn information about me? You never liked Henry” Geralt turned to her and frowned, Yennefer thought Henry was a dirty old man their whole relationship yet now they're all buddy-buddy? 

Yennefer stopped walking and looked back at Geralt, her waves of black hair bouncing as she turned. “Am I not allowed to care?” 

“You only care when it benefits you, Were done Yennefer stop fucking my friends to get to me.” Geralt was trying not to yell, he didn’t want this to turn into a screaming match as it did at the hospital. 

“Merry Christmas Geralt,” Yennefer gave him a nod and walked to Henry’s apartment. Geralt slammed his keys into the lock of his apartment and got into it as fast as he could. It looked different, clean. 

The furniture was the same but had been cleaned up, the blood that had stained the carpet was cleaned. No empty bottles or needles laying anywhere. Geralt thought he would find his mother dead somewhere in the apartment but it was totally different from how he left it. 

Geralt slowly walked to his bedroom door, opening it slowly hoping that again his mother wasn’t just dead in here but he probably would have smelled it by now. The room was left untouched besides a folded piece of paper on the bed. 

He swiftly walked to it, grabbing the letter, there was a thick stack of cash under the piece of paper. Like money was going to fix their relationship, where did she even get it? He opened the letter seeing her handwriting,

_ Merry Christmas my baby boy,  _

_ I’m spending some time with your grandfather, trying to make things right.  _

_ I’m 40 days sober when I’m writing this, and I don’t expect you to forgive me but I hope the money helps with your dreams.  _

Geralt didn’t know when he started sobbing but he dropped to the floor holding the letter to his face. She was so mad about him leaving but now he left her, which is fine, Geralt understood that this apartment brought back many memories and not good ones. 

Geralt barely noticed when his phone rang, he calmed himself a bit, wiping the tears off his face before answering. 

“Fucking finally, I’ve been trying to call you for 2 hours,” Coen’s voice was shaky and dripped with anger. 

“Sor--” 

“Listen, when can you get back to Ottawa?” Coen cut him off, which was making him more worried about what was going on. 

“I’m leaving here tomorrow morning,” Geralt rubbed the snot off his nose that seemed to just be flowing on its own. 

“Can you get there faster?” Coen asked,

“Okay, what is going on, your fucking making me anxious,” Geralt’s heart was beating out of his chest, he didn’t need more bullshit right now. 

“I don’t have the whole story you would have to call Eskel but Jaskier showed up to his house. His face was all buried and swollen,” Coen sighed, 

“I gotta go,” 

*** * ***

Jaskier’s phone went off, buzzing on the hardwood floor. Jaskier was exhausted, his face hurt more than it did the moment it got hit. He moved slowly trying to grab his phone without waking his sister who was asleep on his chest. Eskel had passed out on the lazy boy near them just in case they needed him for anything, which was sweet.

Jaskier picked up the phone and answered without looking who was calling, “Hello?”

“Jaskier, you okay? What happened?” Geralt sounded panicked on the other end like he was in full-on panic attack mode. 

“I egged on my stupid father and he hit me, I’m fine,” Jaskier whispered, still trying not to wake anyone up. He was a burden enough coming here and waking up Eskel. 

“That’s not fine, did you call the police?” Geralt’s breathing was heavy on the other end, was he running? 

“No, it’s really fine,” 

“Jaskier, it’s not fine, call the police, now” Jaskier had never heard Geralt sound too angry before. Even when he was being his most annoying Geralt never got angry. “I’m trying to catch a bus that is leaving at noon, if I can I’ll be there by the evening.” 

“Okay…” Jaskier felt bad for Geralt coming home early for him, here he was again causing problems for people. Making everyone worry about nothing. 

“I love you,” Jaskier choked out, just so he wasn’t silent on the other end. 

“I love you too, see you soon,” 


	36. Chapter 36

Geralt had forgotten how bad bus rides were with greyhounds, a 7-hour car ride turned into a 14-hour bus ride but he was glad he managed to get the 9 AM bus and not the one at noon. 

He was waiting in North bay for his connecting route to show up which was a three-hour wait. He had taken something to help with the panic attacks on the last bus but he could feel it spilling over again. He shouldn’t have left in the first place, none of this would've happened if he had Jaskier come with him or he stayed at the dorm with him. 

Geralt pulled out his phone seeing another update from Eskel, Jaskier didn’t want to press charges no matter how much everyone had been pressuring him to do so.

_ From: Eskel _

_ Jaskier is still doing okay, he smiled at least, How long until you get to town? _

_ Seen at 5:54 PM _

_ From: Geralt  _

_ Not getting into town until 11 ish, Still waiting on my connecting route. I wish I was there this wouldn’t have happened.  _

_ Seen at 5:57 PM _

_ From: Eskel _

_ I don’t think any of us were expecting this to happen. When the twins talked about their family we thought they were overreacting.  _

_ Seen at 5:59 PM  _

Geralt sighed, they should have believed them, just because their rich doesn’t stop them from being free from problems. Geralt was just glad Vesemir happily was going to host them for the day even though he wasn’t planning for that many mouths to feed. Geralt’s phone went off again, this time Jaskier, 

_ From: Jaskier :Heart: _

_ I’m sorry you're rushing here... _

_ Seen at 6:23 PM _

This was the fourth time Jaskier had said sorry, honestly, it annoyed Geralt. Jaskier was the most important thing in his life right now so running to his aid was no problem, Jaskier was worth it. 

_ From: Sweetest boy :Heart:  _

_ Jaskier, you're important, stop saying sorry. _

_ Seen at 6:24 PM _

The next 6 hours felt like time flew by since Geralt was basically abusing the sleepiness the drugs gave him. Was it really abusing them through if he was really panicking? He knew Jaskier was with good people but a part of him was still going insane with him not being there. This was his fault, if he just would have let Jaskier come with him this wouldn’t have happened. 

When he finally woke from his drug-induced sleep, it was less than 30 minutes until he got to Ottawa. Eskel had offered to pick him up but he was just going to take a taxi since it was pretty late in the day and Eskel probably wanted to drink since it was Christmas day. A part of him felt bad for Roach since she probably barely understood why he just disappeared again. He was really going to have to figure out a way to get an apartment next year. 

When the bus pulled into the terminal, Geralt waited for the bus driver to hand him his bag and quickly called a taxi before running outside to wait for it. His mind was overwhelmed with exhaustion but his body was in full flight mode to get to Jaskier. 

He had finally gotten to Eskel’s by around midnight, there a Bentley in the driveway beside a well-worn honda civic. Leave Jaskier impulsively taking one of his parent’s cars. 

Eskel was outside the house having a smoke, a smile spread across his face as Geralt stepped out of the taxi after paying the man. He fixed his bag over his shoulder and walked up to Eskel. 

“Can I have one, I’m out,” Geralt’s hands had been none stop shaking all day and honestly forgot to grab some on the last stop.

Eskel chuckled, handing Geralt a cigarette with his lighter, “Hello to you too.”

Geralt lit the cigarette tasting that ash honestly didn’t hit the same. He blew a giant cloud of smoke out of his mouth, not noticing much of a difference in his shaking hands. “Is Jaskier still awake?” 

“Mhmm, Yeah, taking a bath” Eskel took a drag off his cigarette “Vesemir set the two of you up in the living room for tonight.” 

Geralt nodded, “Thanks.” 

“Are you going back to the dorm tomorrow?” Eskel asked, flicking ashes on to the ground sparking across the hardwood of the porch. 

“Yeah, Jaskier feels bad enough about staying here another night,” Geralt sighed, the two of them had been texting back and forth all day about what they were going to do. Jaskier just wanted to be alone with Geralt so back to the dorms they go. 

“He shouldn’t, this place is the house of misfits” Eskel chuckled. 

Geralt threw his half-burned out cigarette on the ground putting it out with the heel of his shoe. “I’m going to go see him if that’s okay?”

Eskel nodded, “Bathrooms down the hall on your right, you’ll hear him singing so not that hard to find.” 

Geralt smiled, walking into the house that was nearly dead quiet besides a faint singing coming from down the hall. Geralt left his shoes and bag by the door and walked into the living room where one of the couches was made up as a bed. Just below the couch was an air mattress. Geralt guessed the Priscilla was going to be sleeping with Eskel which at least meant Jaskier would get that ‘alone time’ he wanted. 

_ “Cos although you say good day to me,-- _ ” 

Geralt pushed the bathroom door open a crack seeing Jaskier laying in a bath nearly overflowing with bubbles. His voice was as amazing as always as he sang like no one was watching him. The question is why didn’t Jaskier lock in a full house? 

_ “--I know I don’t belong  _

_ And although you hold my hand and say  _

_ ‘I love you’, you are wrong.  _

_ Because love does not exist here” _

Geralt walked in, closing the door behind him and seeing Jaskier’s whole face light up. Seeing the bruising on his face broke Geralt’s heart into pieces, how could someone do this to him? 

Geralt swiftly walked up to the tub and stepped into the warm water fully clothed. The water poured over the sides as Jaskier had already overfilled it. 

“Geralt!” Jaskier laughed “What are--” Before Jaskier could keep talking he gently kissed him, taking care not to cause him any more discomfort then he was probably already in. Jaskier warped his arms around him dragging Geralt closer and deeper into the kiss. The two of them stayed lip locked for a while, tasting each other like it would be the last time.

Geralt pulled away, smiling at Jaskier, finally seeing those beautiful blue eyes again, “You okay?” 

“I am now,” Jaskier smiled, “I missed you.”

“ I missed you too”

* * * 

After cleaning up and changing into less wet Pj’s the two of them laid down for bed. Only using the air mattress since Jaskier didn’t want to sleep alone. Geralt kind of felt horrible that they had to use all the towels in the bathroom to clean up the mess off the floor. Maybe jumping into the bath with him wasn’t a good idea. 

Jaskier pawed at Geralt shirt frowning as he straddled Geralt’s thighs, Jaskier wanted more than just cuddles but being in someone else’s living room made Geralt uneasy. 

“Just lay down,” Geralt mumbled, rubbing Jaskier’s thighs to comfort him in some way. 

“3 whole day’s Geralt,” Jaskier repeated again like that justified his cause. 

“Jaskier, I will make it up to you tomorrow, lay down” Geralt chuckled, finally getting Jaskier to struggle up against his chest. A weight he missed having when he slept. 

“So how was your trip?” Jaskier asked, rubbing his face into Geralt’s chest, which he probably shouldn’t be doing with the bruising. 

“Fine,” Geralt took a deep breath thinking about the money his mother left him. 3 grand, how the fuck did she get a hold of that? 

“Did you see your mom?” Jaskier asked, tracing Geralt’s abs through his shirt as he hummed a little tune. His spirit seemed better now that Geralt was here, like he was already back to his old self. 

“No,” Geralt took another deep breath, and Jaskier stopped asking questions, instead moved he could lay chest to chest and played in Geralt’s hair. Twisting his fingers into his ashen hair smiling softly. 

“You know, Eskel and Lambert’s new foster sister Ciri has the same hair colour as you,” Jaskier was super focused on running his fingers through his hair. 

“Yeah?” Geralt rubbed Jaskier’s back trying to make him tried since Geralt was fucking exhausted. 

“She is adorable,” Jaskier mumbled, planting a kiss on Geralt’s nose before cuddling up into his neck. 

“Mhmm,” Geralt pulled the blanket over the two of them and closed his eyes, already feeling the wave of numbness hit him. He vowed that he would never leave Jaskier again. 

He couldn’t forgive himself if something happened to him. 


	37. Chapter 37

Geralt sat at the coffee shop where Jaskier was going to be meeting his friends. Even after everything that happened, Jaskier still wanted him to meet them. Geralt watched Jaskier order their coffees like he always did. Honestly, Geralt didn’t want to be here, he just wanted to sleep, a lot of things happened the last few days that had shocked his brain but he was doing this for Jaskier. 

“Here you go,” Jaskier placed the coffee in front of Geralt, smiling. Jaskier managed to work some magic on his bruising with makeup his sister let him borrow so it was like it never happened. 

“Thanks,” Geralt blew steam off the top of the cup and took a quick sip feeling the hot liquid hit his tongue. 

“They should be here soon, They don’t know anything about our relationship so just be yourself,” Jaskier took a drink of his coffee looking back at the door. 

Geralt slid his hands through his hair, trying not to let his nerves get the best of him. What if they didn’t like him? Would Jaskier break up with him? Fuck, he can’t handle this kind of stress right now. 

Jaskier’s hand slid onto Geralt’s thigh as a comfort, “You’ll like them.” 

“But will they like me?” Geralt frowned, feeling sick to his stomach. 

“What’s not to like about you?” Jaskier tilted his head to the side, confused by the question.

“A lot” 

“Geralt, stop,” Jaskier squeezed Geralt’s thigh just before a very thick Scottish accent boomed from behind them. 

“Jaskier!” A man with a fluffy beard and long hair braided like a Viking would; shouted, he was average height but built like a fucking house. A smaller man stood beside him, half his height and totally bald. “About fucking time we get together!” 

Jaskier shot up and ran up and hugged the two of them, squeezing them like they were his kids “I missed you two!” 

Geralt felt uncomfortable, was it awkward for him to be here? Like was he out of place?

The shorter guy snaked out of Jaskier’s arms, looking at Geralt with the playfully look, “Who’s this fellow?” 

“Oh, uh, this is Geralt” Jaskier smiled, “Geralt, this is Dudu.” Jaskier gestured to the shorter male, must be some kind of weird nickname, then pointed to the bigger guy, “And this is Zoltan.” 

Geralt shyly waved at them, he felt like if he opened this mouth he was just going to throw up all over the ground. 

“We're just going to get something to drink then be back,” Dudu seemed overly excited about seeing someone new. Jaskier sat back down at the table as the others went to order something. 

“You okay?” Jaskier asked, worried, pooling in his eyes. 

“Mhmm,” Geralt took a deep drink of coffee, did Jaskier say how long they were going to be here? 

“Am I pushing you too hard?” Jaskier furrowed his brow, 

“No, Just tired,” Geralt sighed, leaning on the table, maybe he should just come up with an idea to leave? 

Dudu and Zoltan came back sitting in the seats across from them, Geralt kind of zoned out as they talked about how classes were going and how good they were doing. Geralt didn’t getting snapped out of his own head again Zoltan spat out “So the two you fucking?” 

Geralt choked on his coffee, he thought that Jaskier didn’t tell them about their relationship? Why is this guy’s first comment about that? 

“No, just friends,” Jaskier didn’t look shocked from him asking that. Was it normal in their friendship to be that blunt? 

“Eh, Right,” Zoltan laughed, taking a big drink of his coffee. Dudu looked embarrassed by his counterpart, “Sorry about him he doesn’t know when to shut up.” 

Geralt shrugged, not really knowing what to say, he was always pretty quiet when he first met people. 

“Not much of a talker?” Zoltan asked, eyeing Jaskier who was moving his hand slowly under the table to place it on Geralt’s thigh. The weight there already made Geralt feel a little less nervous about this. 

“He’s just not good with strangers,” Jaskier shrugged, “but he warms up fast.” 

“How did you two meet? I see him on your Instagram a lot” Dudu took a sip of his iced coffee. 

“We’re roommates,” Geralt stated, taking a drink of his coffee again. It was honestly just making his heart rate higher than it already was. 

“Ah, your roommates” Zoltan winked at Jaskier who blushed and covered it up by taking a drink of his coffee. 

“He doesn’t sleep with every one Zoltan,” Dudu sighed, stabbing Zoltan in the ribs with his elbow. “Anyway, What’s your major Geralt?” 

“Undecided,” Geralt stared at his cup trying to avoid eye contact with any of them. He wasn’t sure if Jaskier said his sister was coming too or if it was just going to be the four of them. “Still don’t know what I want to do” 

“Well, what’re your hobbies?” Dudu asked, interested in what Geralt had to say. Geralt didn’t really know, he never really had a hobby, it was always about school and work. He never really had any time for himself even when he did have free time. 

“I don’t know,” Geralt shrugged, getting a supportive squeeze from Jaskier. Could he say that Jaskier was his hobby? Because it was the only thing he really enjoyed spending his time with in his free time. 

Dudu kind of looked, concerned with that answer but it was the only answer Geralt had for him.

“Well, you like going to the gym,” Jaskier added, which Geralt never really thought of as a hobby, more of just something that had to be done. 

Geralt shrugged but seemed to have gotten an approving nod from Zoltan as it was very clear he went to the gym himself. “Been thinking about trying something like writing but honestly things have been a little crazy,” Geralt took a drink of his coffee. 

“Writing is an easy thing to get into,” Dudu smiled, “as long as you get something on the page.”

“Dudu is a creative writing major so he knows his stuff,” Jaskier smiled at Geralt probably trying to get him to ask more questions. 

“I have a creative writing class this semester so we will see how I like it,” Geralt ran his fingers through his hair; he felt like his life was a ticking time bomb. He still hadn’t figured out his major for next year and he only had four months left. He was fucked. 

* * *

Geralt had taken a shower the moment they got back to the dorm, mostly to decompress from everything. He felt a little overstimulated from spending 3 hours just talking with Jaskier’s friends but it made Jaskier happy so he stuck through it. 

“Do you still think I’m pretty?” Jaskier shouted over the shower, Geralt didn’t even hear him walk-in when did they become this kind of couple?

“What?” Geralt slid the door of the shower open a little so he could peek out. Jaskier was wiping the makeup off his face staring at the dark purple bruising on his face. “Does it make me look ugly?” Jaskier looked at him seriously. 

“No, you're always beautiful Jaskier,” Geralt smiled at him, seeing a sparkle in Jaskier’s eyes. 

“Can I join you?” Jaskier purred, 

“Only fully clothed,” Geralt shrugged and closed the door hearing Jaskier laugh, after a few minutes Jaskier stepped into the shower not fully clothed. Jaskier’s hands were already on Geralt’s waist, his thumbs tracing the bone. 

“Thank you, for everything” Jaskier mumbled, “It’s kind of weird having you take care of me this time.” 

Geralt smiled, gently sliding his hand behind Jaskier’s neck and pulling him in for a sloppy kiss. The two of them melted together in the rain of the shower, the steam swirling around them. Their cocks rubbed together in the dance of passion. Geralt was always confused about how even when he was low energy he never got tired of Jaskier. The rush he gave him always fixed those problems the moment he tasted him. 

Jaskier slid his hand down Geralt’s abs getting ready to grab a hold of Geralt’s already hard cock. 

Geralt pulled away from the kiss, “Wait, stop” 

Jaskier put his hands up in fear that he had done something wrong which was not the case. Geralt just had slightly different plans, one that Jaskier and he had been prepping for months 

“Sorry, am I going too fast?” Jaskier backed up a little bit but already was hitting the wall behind him since the shower wasn’t very big. 

“No, no, I just I think I’m ready” Geralt choked out, the nervousness came back full speed. Was it going to hurt? Geralt honestly didn’t do that well when it came to pain. 

“I know, that’s why I was touching you” Jaskier chuckled, 

“No, not for that…” Geralt felt kind of uncomfortable asking for it. Oh god, what if he didn’t like it? 

“OH, you mean, OH OK” Jaskier’s voice got really high and excited “You sure? Because a lot of things have been happening and you have been really stressed.” 

Geralt nodded, he was stressed but this was probably going to help with that, well at least that’s what he read online. He trusted Jaskier, with every bone in his body, so now was the perfect time. 

“Okay, have you been following that diet?” Jaskier wrapped his arms around him again. Jaskier had put him on a high fibre diet since it was less intimidating than douching. 

“Yes,” 

“Okay, well, I will meet you in the bedroom then” Jaskier purred, placing a hot kiss on Geralt’s lips before stepping out of the shower. Geralt quickly finished cleaning up, trying not to overthink everything. Like what if he’s bad at this? Like is this the same as normal straight people sex? 

Geralt turned off the shower and stepped out, quickly drying off. He walked out just butt ass naked which already felt weird to him. When he walked into Jaskier’s bedroom he had closed the curtains and lit a bunch of candles around the room to give that sexy glow. 

Jaskier was dressed in his silk robe loosely tied closed, 

“Wow, you went all out,” Geralt whispered, slowly walking in.

“Could have been better if I had more time,” Jaskier looked around the room admiring his handy work. “Could always use more candles and rose petals”

“When did you get so romantic?” Geralt chuckled, watching Jaskier walk up to him. 

“Oh, I always have been, that’s why I always open doors for you,” Jaskier slid his hands onto Geralt’s hips. 

“Thought that was just a Canadian thing,” Geralt smiled, feeling the silk rubbing against his cock. Jaskier frowned at him “No it’s not a Canadian thing! When has Lambert ever held a door for someone?” 

Geralt was trying not to laugh at how offended Jaskier looked, but decided just to kiss him. Running his fingers through his damp hair, Jaskier tasted differently like strong mint. Did he really have a mint before this? 

“Lay down Geralt,” Jaskier smiled, pushing him back to the bed. Geralt laid down, feeling overly exposed until Jaskier got on top of him, his robe laying down around them mixing with the sheets. He was so nervous that he just kind of stared up at Jaskier waiting for him to do something because he kind of forgot how to breathe. 

“You okay?” Jaskier leaned down, grabbing Geralt’s hands and pinning them above his head. 

“Yeah,” Geralt finally took a breath, 

“Good,” Jaskier smiled, “Because you aren’t sleeping tonight.” Jaskier kissed Geralt’s neck, sending sparks through his whole body. Jaskier took care to be slow, taking this time kissing each part of his neck before moving on to Geralt’s chest and licking down to one of his nipples. Geralt was already beyond turned on, his cock ached to be touched but he wasn’t going to rush things. 

Jaskier sucked on Geralt’s nipple causing Geralt to gasp out a moan, fuck why was Jaskier so perfect? 

Jaskier got off of Geralt, making him feel like maybe he did something wrong but he was going through his nightstand for something. “Can you turn over Geralt?” Jaskier asked and grabbed a bottle of what looked to be lube. 

“What?” Geralt was just dazed like he was under some kind of spell from Jaskier. 

“On your stomach darling,” Jaskier chuckled, Geralt did as he was told, Jaskier’s hands guided him to have his ass in the air. Geralt jammed his face into the pillow, feeling uncomfortable for a second before Jaskier’s strong hands grabbed his ass cheeks. Spreading them to get the full view, Geralt heard Jaskier mumble under his breath about how fucking hot Geralt was which made him smile. 

“Ready?” Jaskier asked, Geralt hummed in agreement into the pillow before feeling Jaskier’s wet tongue on his entrance. Okay, he wasn’t ready for that, it kind of felt weird but he relaxed into it. He was getting more turned on if that was even possible at this point. The heat just pooled to the lower half of his body as Jaskier swirled his tongue around his hole. Saliva dripped down Geralt’s balls and thighs for how wet Jaskier was making it. Did he really need the lube at this point? 

Geralt was just a hot mess, moaning against Jaskier’s touch just wanting more of him. Jaskier pulled off, but quickly replaced his tongue with one finger, sliding it until the entrance. It felt weird until his body relaxed around him, Jaskier slowly started rocking his finger into him. It didn’t feel overly amazing until Jaskier added a second finger and just hit something inside him that sent a wave of pleasure through his body. He moaned deeply, rocking back against Jaskier. What the fuck was that? And why was something so powerful hidden in his ass? 

Jaskier kissed Geralt’s ass cheek, “There it is.” Jaskier slowly curled his fingers inside him causing Geralt to moan louder. “Jesus, Jaskier!” 

Jaskier removed his fingers leaving a void where they were, he looked back at Jaskier who was pumping lube into his hand. “You can rollover if you want” Jaskier smiled, stroking the lube onto his cock. 

Geralt rolled onto his back, just wanting to see Jaskier’s face, that beautiful face, the sparkling blue eyes. 

“Ready?” Jaskier lined himself up with Geralt who nodded a little too much. “Let me know if it’s too much and we will stop.” 

“Okay,” Geralt took a deep breath, as Jaskier slowly inserted himself into Geralt. Geralt wasn’t expecting that kind of pain, he felt like Jaskier was going to rip him in half. “Don’t move,” Geralt gripped Jaskier’s shoulder taking another deep breath hoping his body would relax. 

“You okay?” Jaskier kissed Geralt softly, 

“Yeah, just slowly” Geralt kissed him again, feeling Jaskier slowly move, after a few thrusts and the burning pain. his body relaxed around Jaskier’s cock, the pain changed to fireworks of bliss hitting Geralt in waves. Jaskier’s face was painted with pleasure, moaning deeply. Geralt’s nervousness was totally gone, his anxiety had totally left the building. 

It was just about him and Jaskier, lost in each other, god he could stay like this forever. “I love you,” Geralt pulled Jaskier into a kiss, feeling him rubbing that magical spot with every thrust to the point where it was almost unbearable. He was so close to the edge but didn’t want this to end so soon. 

“Fuc--” Geralt arched his back into Jaskier as the orgasms shook through his body, exploding a hot sticky mess in between them. Geralt felt like that was the best orgasm of his life. Where has Jaskier been all his life and why didn’t they do this sooner? Right Anxiety. 

Jaskier’s thrusts got a little faster before also spilling over and moaning loudly in Geralt’s ear as he exploded into Geralt. “I love you too,” Jaskier breathed out, kissing Geralt deeply before pulling out leaving Geralt feeling empty. The two of them were out of breath and panting like dogs. Jaskier rolled off Geralt, wiping sweat off his brow. 

“Holy fuck,” Geralt laughed, “Where have you been my whole life.” 

Jaskier laughed, “Right here.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The moment I've been building up to! hope it was worth the wait?  
> BOOM! Have a great day!


	38. Chapter 38

Jaskier and Geralt had barely gotten out of bed for three whole days in bed. They probably had more sex in those three days then Geralt had in his whole life. The two of them all just lost in each other, enjoying every second of it. After a few times, Geralt had gotten comfortable with the idea of ‘leading’ and fucking rocked Jaskier’s whole world. He never thought of himself as someone who was good at Sex but they way Jaskier screamed his name had said otherwise. 

Geralt had taken a nap in the middle of the day, being totally exhausted from the day’s activities but was woken by the chatter in the other room, the voice was slightly angry, “I don’t care, I'm not going to apologize for something I didn’t do--” Jaskier’s voice echoed through the walls of the dorm. “--Listen, I don’t care!” 

Geralt sat up, who was he talking to? He didn’t want to bug him but was kind of worried that he was shouting into the phone. 

“--Mama, You know what he did, I’m not going back until he apologizes to me. He is the one who fucked up Christmas not me.” Jaskier lowered his voice to the point where Geralt was having a hard time hearing him. He got out of bed and looked for his boxers on the mess of clothes on the ground. Geralt didn’t even know why they bothered to get dressed at all since they were tearing it off each other moments after. Once he found his boxers he poked his head out seeing Jaskier pacing back and forth in the kitchen. 

“No, have him call me, I’m not doing this,” Jaskier noticed Geralt and changed his tone, “I gotta go.” He hung up the phone with a sigh, slamming his phone down on the counter. 

“You okay?” Geralt asked, walking up to him, Jaskier’s bruise was healing nicely but still had a long way to go. Jaskier nodded his head, pulling him into a tight hug, “I’m sorry for waking you.” 

“Doesn’t matter,” Geralt held on to Jaskier tightly, “I still think you should press charges.” 

“They have enough money to bury me, it’s better to just play their game and get a free ride through life,” Jaskier mumbled into Geralt’s shoulder. Geralt kind of hated that he said that Jaskier shouldn’t have to deal with that. Maybe Geralt should just get rich enough so Jaskier never has to worry again. 

Geralt kissed Jaskier’s cheek gently trying not to cause any soreness, “You want ice cream?” Having ice cream when they were sad had become their thing.

Jaskier laughed, “Yeah, I’d like that” Jaskier pulled away from Geralt, hopping to the fridge with excitement. “I’m pretty sure we still have some in the freezer!” 

Geralt eyed Jaskier’s phone, thinking about just turning it off so then no one could make him sad anymore but the last thing he wants is Jaskier mad at him for something like that.

“Bingo!” Jaskier pulled out a small tub of chocolate ice cream, then looked into the tub and looked sad. “Why do we put empty stuff back in the freezer?” 

“I don’t know that is your thing, I make sure I throw them out” Geralt smiled, “Well I guess we’re going to leave the dorm for once.” 

“Aww, I like our little bubble” Jaskier frowned, “And I’m not ready to see you clothed.”

Geralt rolled his eyes and walked into the bedroom before Jaskier jumped on his back like a child. “Round 3 before you cover-up that sexy body of yours.” 

Geralt held up Jaskier by his legs, “No, we need to face the world at some point Jaskier.” 

Jaskier groaned into Geralt’s ear, “Nooooo, I don’t want to.” 

Geralt walked Jaskier over to his closet and looked up at him, “What do you want to wear?” 

“Nothing, I’m going naked” Jaskier nibbled on Geralt’s ear making heat pool in his body. After how much sex they have had, Jaskier knows all the places that turned him on. 

“Jaskier stop, we will be out no more than an hour” Geralt grabbed a random shirt and pants he had seen Jaskier wear together before and threw them onto the bed. “Come on get down.” Geralt let go of Jaskier’s leg and he slid down his back frowning. 

“Sex after?” Jaskier grabbed his boxers off the ground and put them on, 

“Sure, sex after” Geralt chuckled, grabbed his jeans off the ground sliding them on just before getting a deep sigh from Jaskier who was watching him get dress. “Come on Jaskier, I look better clothed.” 

“No, you speak lies.” 

  
  


*** * ***

Lambert walked into the house, after going for a little jog to clear his head. Which he had been doing a lot lately since his father’s release was coming soon. Really soon. 

“I think your sister is going to steal my girlfriend,” Eskel was laying on the couch scrolling through his phone. 

“What?” Lambert slid off his shoes, really confused until he heard laughter coming from the kitchen. 

“Priscilla has forgotten about me,” Eskel let out a deep sigh. 

“You are so fucking sad,” Lambert laughed, he was surprised Pricilla was getting along with Renfri they were totally opposites. “It’s good for Renfri to have friends, you said that yourself.” 

“She flirted with her in front of me Lambert!” Eskel sat up looking stressed out as all hell. Man he needed to chill out. 

Lambert rolled his eyes and sat down beside Eskel, “Priscilla is fucking straight as they come so I wouldn’t fucking worry about it.” It kind of made Lambert feel better that Renfri might happen to be bisexual, maybe he could talk to her about him and Aiden. 

Eskel looked over to where the kitchen was, listening to them talk. Lambert didn’t know Eskel was so insecure, the man had nothing to worry about Priscilla was very old school when he came to dating and was very forward when she didn’t like someone anymore.

“You’re fine man,” Lambert yawned and leaned back into the couch, Eskel was lucky his girlfriend was here with him. Every day without Aiden was fucking hell, he missed him so much. 

“Have you heard anything from Geralt or Jaskier?” Eskel sighed, “Haven’t heard from them in days.” 

Lambert shrugged, “They’re probably just fucking enjoying time alone.” or maybe Geralt finally got fucking laid for once. 

“Maybe, but I’m also scared one of them did something stupid,” Eskel started biting his nails. 

“Like what? Do you think our anxious fucking Geralt is going go fucking punch Jaskier’s dad in the face?” Lambert laughed, “You worry way to fucking much Eskel.” 

Eskel sighed, leaning back into the couch staring at the ceiling for a while. Lambert wondered if Eskel felt like this because no one really needed him right now. Renfri was making friends, Priscilla was being her independent self, Aiden came out to his parents and was not thinking the whole world, Geralt and Jaskier had each other, Coen went on a real fucking date. No one needed to depend on him anymore and it seemed like he hated it.

“Honestly, no news is good news Eskel,” Lambert tapped his shoulder, before standing up. “I’m going to call Aiden, I promised I would.” 

“Say hi for me,” Eskel looked at his phone again, looking kind of annoyed by him leaving. 

Lambert walked down to his and Eskel’s room, seeing Ciri playing in her room that she shared with Renfri at the moment. Lambert smiled before walking into his room and closing the door behind himself before pulling out his phone. 

He couldn’t wait to see Aiden in a few days to meet his family, he never thought he wouldn’t enjoy the idea of that but he did. He wanted to be a part of Aiden’s life, every part of it not just some guy he had sex with. 

He flopped down on the bed and face timed Aiden, waiting for him to pick up which took a few seconds before he saw Aiden’s face. 

“Hey, handsome” Aiden smiled, “Can’t talk long my Dad wants to go sledding.” 

Lambert smiled, “Aren’t you and your brother a little fucking old for that?” 

“Oh boy, Lambert sledding in this family is an extreme sport” Aiden rubbed his nose with the back of his hand. “I broke my nose last winter because of it that’s why it’s kind of a little off.” 

“It isn’t off,” Lambert chuckled, just wanting to kiss his nose to just show him how perfect he is, “I fucking miss you.”

“I miss you too, just a few more days and you get to see me” Aiden smiled, “And I have a gift for you.”

Lambert kind of froze, he didn’t get anything for Aiden, honestly, he hadn’t gotten him one gift since they started dating. Fuck he was a horrible boyfriend…

“Yeah..?” Lambert choked out, Aiden nodded biting his lip like he always did when he was turned on, “Yeah, I think you’ll like it.” 

“It’s your dick isn’t it?” Lambert raised his eyebrow, 

“Maybe, maybe not” Aiden smiled more, “My bedroom door has a lock.” 

“Oh okay, your really fucking going for it” Lambert laughed, “You’re fucking dirty.” 

“Oh, you lov---” Aiden trailed off and looked at something out of frame “I’ll be down in a minute!” 

“Well, I guess you gotta go?” Lambert tried not to look sad about Aiden leaving because he didn’t want him to think he was needy. 

“I love you,” Aiden purred, “And I will show you how much I do when you get here.” 

“I love you too you fucking freak,” Lambert laughed shaking his head before Aiden hung up the phone. Lambert held the phone to his chest taking a deep breath, fuck he had really had fallen even harder for Aiden in the last few weeks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, it's late got hit with a pop quiz in class today ;-;  
> This is a bridge chapter before major plot happens hope you like the fluff <3


	39. Chapter 39

Lambert had just been dropped off by Vesemir, standing in front of Aiden’s door, why was he so nervous? Even if Aiden’s family didn’t like him it didn’t really matter. Aiden loved him and no one’s opinion was going to change that, Lambert rang the doorbell. Hearing Aiden’s voice call “I have it! No one move!” 

The door swung open, Aiden was slightly more dressed up than normal which just meant it was wearing dress pants instead of jeans. Lambert didn’t even get to say hi before Aiden pushed him up against the railing of the deck.

“Wha--” 

Aiden roughly kissed Lambert with so much passion it shook Lambert to the core, god he missed him so much. Lambert wrapped his arms around Aiden, holding his lean frame close. Having a hard time catching his breath as they shared a sloppy wet kiss, he missed how his partner’s mouth felt on his, the strong, hardness of him. 

“Aiden, we don’t live in a barn!” a man voice called from the house making Aiden break the kiss catching his breath. 

“I guess we should probably go in,” Aiden breathed out, “It’s freezing out here” 

Lambert chuckled, “You’re the one who ran out here without fucking shoes.” 

“I didn’t want to waste time,” Aiden kissed Lambert again, “We will continue this after dinner.” 

“AIDEN” 

Lambert laughed out and pushed Aiden to the door, any nerves he had kind of melted away with the heat of Aiden’s mouth. It was clear nothing was going to come between the two of them but maybe he should try and dial back the swearing at the dinner table. 

Aiden closed the door once they got inside, the house was nice and painted in mostly blues with family photos nearly on every wall. Lambert took some time looking at the ones near the door as he took off his shoes and jacket. 

“You were cute,” Lambert pointed at one of the photos of little Aiden which was easy to pick out because of the amber eyes. 

“Not as cute as now,” Aiden wrapped his arms around Lambert, biting his lip, with a sexy glow in his eyes. 

“You need to fucking chill out” Lambert laughed, you could definitely tell who the dominate one in their relationship was even though Lambert’s personality would sometimes say otherwise. Aiden was more sexually forward than Lambert was. 

“Nev--” Aiden was cut off from his Brother walking into the room, narrowing his eyes at them. He was smaller and more slender then Aiden and had these thick Clark Kent glasses. 

“Get a room,” he mumbled, hopping up the stairs. 

“Brat,” Aiden frowned, what was that about? Did he and Aiden have a bad relationship? 

“He's not approving?” Lambert asked, pushing some of Aiden’s curls out of his face. “Need me to beat him up?” 

Aiden laughed, “No, he’s fine we just have a very competitive relationship. I’m expecting him to have a bigger life event by next week.” 

“What is he going to come out as a fucking dinosaur?” Lambert snorted, 

“Maybe, but let’s go meet my parents. They're almost done cooking.” Aiden led Lambert by the hand into the kitchen where his father was setting the table as his mother pulled something out of the oven. Lambert kind of felt jealous, that Aiden had this perfect family at his fingertips. 

“Dad, Mom, this is Lambert” Aiden squeezed Lambert’s hand, as he said that probably to reassure Lambert even though he had done that earlier.

Aiden’s parents turn to see him, a smile spreading on their faces like they just met a long lost son or something along those lines. Aiden’s father stopped what he was doing and held out his hand to Lambert, “Nice to put a face to the name.” 

Lambert let go of Aiden’s hand to give him a firm handshake which seemed to please him. “Nice firm grip” Aiden’s father mumbled, “I’m Jacek, and my beautiful wife is Diana.” 

Lambert nodded, feeling kind of awkward that Jacek hadn’t let go of his hand just yet, until Aiden spoke up, “Sorry my dad thinks that a person’s handshake says everything he needs to know.” 

“I haven’t been wrong yet,” Jacek let go of his hand going back to set the table,

“I think that’s just a fucking old person thing” Lambert spat out without thinking, “Well, uh, my dad is the same is what I mean.” 

Both of his parents kind of stared at him, either taken back by the comment or the swearing he couldn’t tell. 

“Well, maybe we can meet your family at some point” Diana spoke up, placing what looked like lasagna down on the table.

Aiden leaned into Lambert’s ear, “I knew they were already planning my wedding.” It made Lambert laugh nervously since having a giant wedding one day was Aiden’s dream but wasn't Lambert’s. The two of them hadn’t been dating long enough for it to be a full topic of discussion more just fantasy pillow talk and jokes.

“Aiden can you go get your brother?” Diana asked, grabbing a bowl of salad off the counter and placing it on the table. 

“Sure,” Aiden smiled at Lambert and rubbed his back just before leaving him alone in the kitchen. Lambert awkwardly stood there, not really sure what to do or say. He wasn’t good at this whole meeting the parent’s thing, he never got to this stage with his ex. 

“So Aiden tells me you're studying criminal justice” Jacek stated, “You plan on being a police officer?” 

“No, Probation officer” Lambert took a deep breath, just the thought of his own career plans made him think about his father and it burned down his throat like lava. 

“Shame, I could have put in a good word” Jacek sat down at the table, was fucking Aiden’s dad a cop? Why did Aiden not say anything about that? Lambert stood there dumbfounded not really sure what to say.

“You can sit down silly,” Aiden came up behind Lambert guiding him by his hips to sit down then sitting down beside him. Aiden’s brother took a seat across from them, staring at Lambert with narrowed eyes. Lambert already didn’t like him, he was fucking weird. 

“Alright you know the drill,” Diana grabbed a basket and placed it on the table since she already had one cell phone in it. Lambert remembered Aiden saying his parents were rather strict about phones and ‘screen time’. Aiden sighed and put his phone in the basket and his brother followed suit. 

No one asked for Lambert to do anything so his phone stayed in his pocket safe and sound. The dinner was pretty much silent for the first half, besides the clinking of forks and knives hitting plates. This was a calmer meal then at his place, there was always chaos and laughter. 

Lambert had heard Elijah’s name getting thrown around from his parents asking for something to be passed. A part of him wondered how competitive he and Aiden really were, Elijah had been staring at him since they sat down fucking burning a hole in his face. 

“You know maybe I’m gay too,” Elijah looked proud of himself when his dad sighed loudly probably 100% knowing where this was going.

“Prove it,” Aiden laughed, 

“Boys, stop it” Jacek growled, trying to stop any chaos that was about to happen but honestly didn’t help whatsoever because Elijah stood up and leaned over the table grabbing Lambert by the shirt in a swift movement. 

Lambert fucking panicked, he wasn’t going to have some underage kid using him to make a stupid point that didn’t need to be made what so ever. A part of him was mad at Aiden for egging on his brother but honestly who knew this was going to happen? In Lambert’s chaotic panic he punched Elijah in the face, breaking the poor kid’s glasses into his face and sending him flying back into his chair. 

Fuck what a way to make a first impression. 

  
  


*** * ***

  
  


The twins celebrated their birthday on new years eve, at the same bar they always went to with a new song they wrote in anger since it seemed like it was the only way they could deal with their problems. Jaskier and Priscilla just wanted their ‘party’ to be small, just their partners drinking and laughing to fill the void in their hearts. 

“To being nineteen!” the twin’s cheers, clinking their glasses together as they downed their shots. Geralt was oddly the only one still eighteen in out of the four of them at least until May. 

Geralt smiled, watching the twins choke down the alcohol as it burned their throat. The only one in the room who didn’t look to be having that great of a time was Eskel, he had been a little off and Geralt had no Idea why. He had been nursing the same beer for the last hour or so. 

“You okay?” Geralt leaned over to Eskel so took a drink of his beer the moment someone talked to him. 

“Yup,” Eskel looked over at him, slapping a smile on his face. “Just a little exhausted is all,” Eskel rubbed his eyes, still trying to keep a smile on his face. Geralt knew he wasn’t okay, Lambert had warned him that he was a little off since everyone was in a safe time and place at the moment. 

“Loosen up, if there was a time to do it now is the time” Geralt tapped his shoulder, taking a long drink off his soda that Eskel more or less forced him to have. 

Eskel nodded and looked over at the twins who were trying to order another shot from John who honestly looked annoyed by their drunken speech. 

“John, John, JOHN” Jaskier grabbed his belt as he walked by pulling him to his table. 

“Jesus Jaskier what?” John sighed, “What do you want?” 

“Another round, please!” Jaskier smiled his charming smile which made John sigh and nodded as he walked away. 

“Yes!” Priscilla giggled placing her head on Jaskier’s shoulder, totally drunk already when they honestly hadn’t been here that long. Geralt really hoped that John was just going to bring them water to break up their insane drinking. 

“Maybe the two of you should slow down?” Eskel shook his head, taking a drink of his beer. Priscilla stood up, swinging her leg over Eskel to sit in his lap. “Party pooper” She giggled. 

Geralt looked away from the two of them since it basically turned into them making out which just made him feel so uncomfortable because it was so sudden. Maybe Eskel would loosen up after that through? He kind of hoped because he hated seeing him so stressed and uptight. 

“Geralt,” Jaskier leaned over to him, “You having fun?” 

“Mhmm, as much as I can not drunk” Geralt smiled, booping Jaskier on the nose causing him to smile widely, He was so adorable it hurt. 

Geralt's attention was moved to the buzzing in his pocket, for how late it was at night it was odd to get a call. He pulled it out of his pocket seeing Henry’s name on the screen. His heart dropped out of his chest, this man never called, he would rather send letters then use a cell phone, “Jaskier, I’ll be right back”. 

“Sure..” Jaskier’s smile faded, as Geralt stood up to walk outside, the cold hit him hard since it seemed the temperature dropped a crazy amount since they got here. Geralt answered the phone feeling so anxious about why he was calling. 

“Hello?” 

“Geralt?” Henry’s voice echoed in his head as he could kind of hear the faint panic in his voice.

“Yeah,” 

“I have some bad news,” Henry took a deep breath, “Your mother came back into town last night and she ended up in the hospital, hit and run.” 

Geralt froze up, not sure what to say, was this about the money? Why did she come back into town if it was? A part of him was so worried he felt sick but the other half thought she deserved it even if he was horrible to think that way. 

“Geralt?” 

“I have to go…” 


	40. Chapter 40

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song in this chapter is Battle Cries by Joey Batey and Madeleine Hyland ( The Amazing devil) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3E3YltoDN00  
> It's another song that is good to listen to to get the full effect of what I'm describing!  
> Enjoy <3

Lambert was sitting in on the toilet while Aiden cleaned up his hand, he got a few cuts on his knuckles and it was already starting to bruise. Aiden didn’t look overly pleased with how Lambert acted since he fucking broke his brother’s nose but, to be honest, the kid should understand consent at his age. Aiden’s father didn’t get mad whatsoever since he agreed his son was being a fucking idiot but did say there was a better way to handle conflict. 

“I’m fucking sorry…” Lambert breathed out just before Aiden dapped rubbing alcohol on his wound which stung like a bitch, “I panicked.” 

“It’s fine…” Aiden sighed, not looking fine in the slightest. 

“Are you really fucking mad at me right now?” Lambert hissed at the stringing from Aiden doing his work. 

“Well, I’m not happy Lambert” Aiden clicked his tongue on the roof of his mouth, 

“Why?” Lambert asked, really confused why he wasn’t taking his side on this. 

Aiden finally looked at Lambert, “There was just a better way to deal with that, you didn’t have to hit him, okay?” 

Lambert pulled his hand away from Aiden, He already knows he fucked up hard, his body just reacted on its own. “I should probably call Vesemir to come to get me.” Lambert stood up, hearing a slight whine come out of Aiden’s throat as he walked to the door. 

“Lambert, no, just wait” Aiden grabbed his unwounded hand to stop him. “My parents are probably going to be gone most of the night since they know E.R’s suck…” 

Vesemir was already getting a hotel with Ciri so they could do some fun father-daughter stuff and to get to know each other better; but did he want to spend the night with Aiden being mad at him? 

Lambert said nothing, just looked back at him, staring into those beautiful amber-like eyes that shined in the overhead lighting. 

“Stay…” Aiden whispered as he laced his fingers with Lambert’s, at least he knew Aiden wasn’t going to just drop him but he was still mad right? Maybe he should stay to fix that. 

“Okay…” Lambert nodded, using his aching but free hand to guide Aiden’s chin into a kiss, it was short but it made Aiden smile for the first time in the last 30 minutes so small victories. 

“You want to see my room?” Aiden bit his lip, which is that universal saying that always meant sex. 

“I thought you were fucking mad at me?” Lambert chuckled, “you’re unpredictable.” 

“Shut up,” Aiden snorted, “I never said I was mad, I said I was unhappy.”

“Same shit different pile,” Lambert rolled his eyes at him, sometimes Aiden was hard to read on how he was feeling but so was Lambert so they were this perfect mess for each other in the end. Aiden led Lambert up the steps of the house, seeing more photos on the wall, even seeing a few of Jacek in uniform. Why didn’t he charge Lambert? Or something? 

“Here we are,” Aiden pushed open his door which was more or less the same as it was in the dorm besides different posters and colours and whatnot. 

“Cozy,” Lambert stated, closing the door behind them after. Aiden didn’t skip a beat as he slid his hands onto Lambert’s hips, he would never understand how Aiden could be turned on so easy when Lambert needed a little work to get going. 

“I’m surprised you’re still in the fucking mood” Lambert smirked as Aiden leaned in for a kiss but Lambert covered his mouth with his hand. “Wait, I have something for you,” 

Aiden looked surprised, furrowing his brow at him. Lambert had gotten him a gift as well since it was only fair. Lambert removed his hand sliding it into his pocket to pull out a silver locket that looked like a dog tag. He held it in front of Aiden’s face. 

“What is it?” Aiden grabbed it, running his fingers along the metal. 

“Open it,” Lambert mumbled, watching Aiden’s face as he opened the locket, his eyes filling with tears as he read the engraving that read  _ ‘I saved you then you saved me.’  _ a photo of the two of them were also in the locket as a reminder to Aiden. 

“You know, you can be so sweet sometimes under all that...that” Aiden gestured to all of him, Lambert was kind of offended by that. 

“You gestured to all of me?” Lambert frowned as Aiden put the necklace on that hung over his heart. Aiden laughed at Lambert’s face and pulled him into a kiss, kissing him hard and deep. Aiden was already pulling at Lambert’s clothes, pushing him to the bed. Lambert had woken the beast with a cheesy gift and he would have to make a mental note of that. 

Aiden helped Lambert take off his shirt as they kissed sloppily, rushing to touch each other’s skin. Lambert worked over Aiden’s buttons before giving up halfway just pulling the shirt off over his head. Aiden pushed Lambert down on the bed and got on top of him, straddling his thighs, looking down at him with lust in his eyes. 

“I’m sorry, you know, about my brother, I’m just glad my dad didn’t get pissed about it,” Aiden ran his hands over Lambert’s chest before undoing his belt. 

“It’s fine, I just can fucking kiss your parents liking me goodbye” Lambert kind of felt better now that Aiden wasn’t as ‘mad’ at him anymore and that he finally kind of siding with him. 

“I think they like you,” Aiden leaned down and licked Lambert’s abs, making him gasp against the warmness of Aiden’s mouth against his skin. The heat pooled in his crotch that he just needed to be released. 

“Aiden,” Lambert breathed out, as his partner sucked on his skin, definitely causing a bruise. 

“What?” Aiden crawled up to Lambert’s neck and sucked on his collarbone making a moan escape Lambert’s lips. 

“What are you doing?” Lambert breathed out, running his fingers through Aiden’s soft curls as he continued to suck different parts of his neck and dragging his tongue along every inch.

“Making sure people know your mine,” Aiden pulled up, kissing Lambert deeply, swirling his tongue against Lambert's. Apparently spending a week apart makes Aiden a sexually starved monster. Aiden grinded his hips into Lambert’s winning him another soft moan that shook through the two of them. 

“Top or bottom?” Aiden sat up and started working on Lambert’s pants again getting them off. 

“Whatever you want,” Lambert chuckled, to be honest bottom would probably be better for Lambert so he wouldn’t have to worry about falling off the bed since it was so fucking small. 

“Okay, what did you do to Lambert?” Aiden narrowed his eyes at him. 

“What?” Lambert propped himself up on his elbows, 

“You always fight to be top,” Aiden got up off of Lambert, sliding his pants off before looking under his bed for something. 

“I’m not going to fight you on a fucking twin bed, fuck that” Lambert leaned over trying to see what Aiden was doing. “What are you looking for?” 

“I have lube somewhere, from when I used to sneak my boyfriends up here, HAH” Aiden pulled out a box that had a bottle of lube and condoms in it. “Speaking of which, you get your results back yet?” 

The two of them had gotten tested for STDs. Lambert knew he was probably clean but did it for Aiden’s peace of mind since he didn’t know that he was only Lambert’s second sexual partner. 

“Not yet, Holidays probably are fucking them up.” Lambert’s appointment was a few days before he left for the holidays so it’s possible his doctor was just on holiday. He should have gotten it done at the same time as Aiden because he came back clean a few weeks ago. 

“Condom it is,” Aiden ripped open the packaging and started sliding it on to his hard cock. “Also, Jaskier texted me the other day, he and Geralt finally had sex.” 

“Explains why we haven’t heard from Geralt for a fucking few days,” Lambert flipped on to his stomach since it was probably going to be easier that way for Aiden. 

“Yeah, he fucked up he forgot to use a condom the first time,” Aiden got back on the bed. For how many people Jaskier slept with it was kind of insane that he forgot something like that. 

“You’re not fucking serious,” Lambert turned back around to see Aiden’s face, dumbfounded by Jaskier’s bullshit. 

“I’m serious, Jaskier was asking me advice on how to bring up them needing to get tested,” Aiden got on top of Lambert and kissed his neck, probably trying to turn the tables back to them. “Do you want to ride me?” 

Lambert let out a sigh, annoyed with how quick Aiden could change the subject, this shit happened all the time. Lambert quickly flipped Aiden onto his back, “Fine.” 

A bright smile came on Aiden’s face, “Come here,” Lambert 100% knew what that meant. He crawled up getting his ass in Aiden’s face, straddling him as Aiden grabbed a hold of his ass cheeks, already working his tongue around his hole to relax his partner. 

Lambert braced himself on the headboard moaning into the wall, fuck how was Aiden so good with his tongue? Aiden slapped Lambert’s ass hard for a moment it stung, making Lambert suck in air but the feeling seemed to make him even harder. It took a few minutes of Aiden licking in and around Lambert’s entrance before finally inserting a finger to open him up. 

“Fuck,” Lambert rocked into Aiden’s hand, wanting more from Aiden, just wanting all of him. Aiden slid another finger into him, thrusting into him, making Lambert’s leg shake from pleasure. 

“Fuck, fuck it” Lambert pulled off of Aiden rushing to get into position, back to straddling Aiden’s thighs, He couldn’t take it anymore, he fucking needed Aiden.

“Someone is impatient” Aiden laughed, watching Lambert get ready. 

“Fuck off,” Lambert reached back grabbing Aiden’s cock and lining it up with himself as he dropped down slowly, feeling Aiden fill him up, and hit all the right spots. He braced himself on Aiden’s chest, taking in deep breaths as he rocked in his hips slowly trying to get used to Aiden but also wanting to rush things to the finish line because he fucking needed the release.

Aiden moaned loudly, grabbing Lambert’s hips with a firm grip thrusting up into him with a slow force that caused ripples of bliss through his body that Lambert chased. Aiden was loud, moaning and grunting which made Lambert glad it was just the two of them in this house because Aiden’s family would most definitely hear them at this point. 

“Fuck, Lambert your so hot,” Aiden groaned, thrusting into Lambert harder making the bed creaked under their weight as they rocked into each other. Lambert wrapped his hand around his own cock, stroking it chasing the feeling of pleasure. He was close, so close to the edge that his legs were shaking which was something his body did that annoyed the fuck out of him. 

Aiden’s last thrust took the two of them over the edge at the same time, like fireworks, the two of them were so in sync with each other it always wowed Lambert every time. 

“God, I missed you” Aiden chuckled, panting like a dog as he grabbed a tissue off of his end table to clean up his chest. Lambert slowly Aiden out, smiling he loved the afterglow of sex. 

“Missed you to, princess.”

  
  


*** * ***

Geralt walked back into the bar, kind of dazed from the news that Henry gave him but he didn’t want to have to deal with it right now. Not on Jaskier’s birthday, he didn’t want to make this night about him. When Geralt finally got back to the table, the twins were both gone only leaving Eskel. 

“Where are they?” Geralt sat down, trying not to show how stressed he was, how worried he was about his mother. His heart was aching as his heart rate climbed he was close to a panic attack. 

“They are going to sing,” Eskel smiled, he seemed in better spirits, and looked like him and Geralt switched places. Geralt took a deep breath, leaning back into his chair, he was lucky Jaskier wasn’t here because that man could notice the smallest changes in him. 

“You okay? You look like you got hit by a truck” Eskel asked, taking a deep drink of his beer. 

“Mhmm,” Geralt nodded, he forgot that Eskel could read people like a book. Fuck, he was starting to sweat thinking about if taking the money was actually a good idea to start with. Maybe this wouldn’t have happened if he stayed with her...Fuck what is he thinking? 

“Okay…” Eskel frowned, totally knowing Geralt wasn’t telling the truth. 

Geralt’s eyes wandered to the stage seeing the twins coming on getting the mic on their stands. Jaskier always kept a spare guitar at this bar, which made it easier for him in case he forgot his. It took a few minutes for them to get set up but they once Jaskier got started, strumming chords, as skillfully as always. He hoped that focusing on the two of them would aid him, stop him from sweating but also from shaking. 

_ P:I’m at the brink, don’t laugh _

_ At the winks, I’ve masked _

_ Who’ll save you when you fall? _

__

_ /J: The wrinkles and bricks that we’re left with at last _

_ And drink will fix all those questions unasked _

_ Who died? And made you king of it all _

__

_ P: Who wins this war? You’ve a knack _

_ For applause from the back of the stalls but you lack _

_ The conviction to look at me straight and say yes _

__

_ /J: Now the wind is so warm on the back of my neck _

_ As I walk with the sun hand in hand from the wreck _

_ Some fictions we took to mean fate believe me I know _

Geralt was mostly forced on Jaskier, his voice called to him more than Priscilla’s but her voice added much-needed depth to the song that wouldn’t be there if she wasn’t with him. Even though the two of them never really talked about their problems you could always know what was going on if you read in between the lines. 

_ P: Don’t be uncouth, be a man _

_ Don’t lie with your eyes, you know I despise that look _

_ You’re home. For God’s sake, I’m _

__

_ /J: Tell the truth to me, love, does my hair look as nice _

_ As it did when you once tied it up in your eyes? _

_ Look at me as you say this, don’t look at your phone _

__

_ P: Done with your dreams, they won’t last _

_ Thirty winters will pass, you’ll look back _

_ at the woman fifty-year-old, you will be proud to have known. _

__

_ /J: Cos that sun that beams down as my hands touch the grass _

_ After summers of fasting, I feel hunger at last _

_ For the person, fifteen year old me would be proud to have known. _

Geralt rubbed sweet off his forehead, his mind wandering to how bad his mother might be hurt. Maybe he should catch a bus tomorrow, would she be happy to see him? Was she still sober? He shook the thought’s out of his head and just tried to focus on the music. Those thoughts were tomorrow’s problems. 

The pause in the twin’s words was overtaken by a siren call, as their voices carried beautifully through the room that made Geralt get goosebumps. 

_ J: Cos these plates they smash like waves _

_ P: Place your smile in mine _

_ J: And the wine stains hide the tears _

_ P: Why stay? Hide the _

__

_ Both: But that breathing you hear don't mistake it for sighs _

_ Don’t you realize - They’re just battle cries dear _

_ J: And these lines aren’t wrinkles dear heart _

_ P: Hardly knew the words _

_ J: They’re just dollops of paint on a new work of art _

_ /P: I’m dolled up love don’t I deserve to just _

__

_ Both: And as I walk away I know I’ve been through the wars, _

_ But that creaking you hear in my bones is not pain, it’s applause _

Geralt felt overwhelmingly emotional, he wasn’t sure if it was just with everything going on, between his mother and the anxiety or if it was the twins singing that shook something in him. Maybe if it was both, he looked over at Eskel and was so enchanted by the singing it was adorable. 

_ 1: Come on love, please don’t start _

_ Sing your notes, play your part _

_ Then we’ll leave. We were gods _

__

_ /2: With you, I could summon the gods and the stars _

_ Watch them dance out the plays that we wrote from the heart _

_ And we’d laugh at the ghosts of our fears. We were kids. _

__

_ 1: ‘Come at me your blaggards you’d yell _

_ from the back of the gallery _

_ Say goodbye. I am not _

__

_ /2: ‘Come at me you blaggards’, you’d yell from the banks _

_ Wielding words against make-believe wizards and tanks _

_ And by god love, believe me, I wanted to play too, I did. _

__

_ 1: A drunkard, A daughter, A preacher, god knows how you _

_ You dragged us both into the darkness that grows _

_ Oh dear God. I won’t _

__

_ /2: But we sunk into water no creature can know _

_ You dragged me along to watch all your shows _

_ Our devils broke rank, and out of the depths came an army _

__

_ Both: I won’t let you turn our last night into this _

_ I’m going to binge-watch a box set, drink wine, reminisce _

_ This isn’t a break up dear heart, it’s a season finale. _

Geralt seriously could see the build-up of emotion in their faces, how long had they been writing this song? It seemed to mix things over a large timeline keeping their listener’s guessing as they roared through it. Geralt took another deep breath, trying to breathe through the anxiety but it didn’t seem to be working. Another deep melody came from them shaking Geralt with more emotion than he couldn’t handle at the moment. 

_ 2: Cos these plates they smash like waves _

_ P: Place your smile in mine _

_ J: And the wine stains hide the tears _

_ P: Why stay? Hide the _

__

_ Both: But that breathing you hear don't mistake it for sighs _

_ Don’t you realize - They’re just battle cries dear _

_ J: And these lines aren’t wrinkles dear heart _

_ P: Hardly knew the words _

_ J: They’re just dollops of paint on a new work of art _

_ /P: I’m dolled up love don’t I deserve to just _

__

_ Both: And as I walk away I know I’ve been through the wars, _

_ But that creaking you hear in my bones is not pain, it’s applause _

__

_ It’s not pain its applause _

__

_ J: All it took to unearth in the dust and the dirt _

_ Some release or respite from the heat and the hurt _

_ Was taking the time now and then to ask how I am _

__

_ And now at the end, [at the end of all things], _

_ I’m not going to scream, beat my chest at the wind, _

_ I’m doing fine. _

The crowd clapped and cheered as the twins bowed, smiling, so happy that people enjoyed it. They fed off this energy like vampires, Geralt’s vision hazed over like he was no longer in the real world like he was in some fake wonderland. 

“Eske-” Geralt grabbed Eskel’s shoulder since he was having a hard time breathing. Trying to stop the panic attack himself wasn’t working at all. 

He felt like he was fucking drowning. 


	41. Chapter 41

After new years, Geralt and Jaskier planned a trip back up to Timmins to see Geralt’s mother. Jaskier wasn’t super into the idea but definitely didn’t want Geralt to go by himself after his panic attack at the bar. Jaskier still had one of his parent’s fancy-ass cars so instead of taking a bus again they decided to drive.

Henry had been keeping Geralt in the loop as much as he could but he wasn’t family so the info was limited. He only knew she wasn’t doing that great, that’s all the nurses would tell him. Geralt was too anxious to call the hospital for updates, it was honestly taking every ounce of energy he had to force himself to go see her. 

“What are you writing?” Jaskier took his eyes off the road to look over at Geralt, He had been writing in a notebook Jaskier bought him right after he showed interest in writing. 

“I don’t know,” Geralt mumbled, he was just word vomiting something on the page. It was a weird spiral of thoughts that ended up turning into a creative piece? When he was trying to think of something to write his mind kept going back to the painting Triss did. He wanted to write something about that man, even though it was him, it was a better version of him. 

Jaskier looked back at the road, to be fair Jaskier had been weird, like he was itching to talk about something but was holding back. Geralt had wondered if it was just about his father or if it was something about Geralt, it was really only adding to the anxiety. 

Geralt went back to writing some silly stories about Geralt of Rivia, he was honestly making it up as he went writing different patchwork stuff using people in his real life as inspiration. They had been on the road for hours so Geralt managed to get into a grove of things even though he had no idea how to write this _ ‘well’ _ .

That painting had been the focus of most of it, and what Triss had said  _ ‘One for monsters, one for humans’  _ which led him to write about these mutants called  _ ‘Witchers’ _ . All of them having these Cat-like eyes that he kind of based on the amber-like eyes most of their friends had. Geralt felt like he was really only writing this to make himself feel more badass since he felt so down in the dumps about himself at the moment. It was kind of helping him feel a little better about this but he would fall back into the void the moment he stopped. 

“You want something to drink?” Jaskier had pulled into a gas station without Geralt even noticing. 

“Sure, Monster?” Geralt closed his notebook, feeling the weight of the world returning to him. He wished he could just stay in that world he created; it was easier not to feel anything. 

Jaskier smiled, leaning over the center-console before pulling Geralt into a quick kiss, “You should have a smoke, we might not stop again for a while.” 

“Yeah…” Geralt put his forehead to Jaskier’s breathing in his smell, “I love you.” 

“I love you too,” Jaskier kissed Geralt again before finally exiting the car to fill the car up. Geralt got out of the car walking away from the pump to have a quick puff, he shielded his cigarette with his hand and lit it up with his lighter. He honestly was really still smoking only because he couldn’t handle the rage with quitting. He pulled out his phone eyeing all the messages that had pooled on his phone, the guys had been texting him non stop but he didn’t have enough energy to answer and explain himself right now. 

He only focused on Henry's texts which were very limiting info about his mother, she was back in surgery again. No, Idea why but she was, and it wasn’t looking great. 

Geralt blew smoke into the air as he choked back tears he didn’t want to deal with right now. He didn’t know what he was going to do if his mom died, he was so mad at her but he loved her so much that it was fucking killing him. Why couldn’t he just be like Eskel, fucking abandoned by his family, probably would have been better if he didn’t know they existed. 

Geralt watched Jaskier walk into the store from afar, he didn’t understand why Jaskier loved him the way he did. It had been a while since he felt like this but the stress was making old anxiety resurface. 

Geralt finished his smoke, throwing it into the snow and making his way back into the car. He thought about abusing his meds again and just taking a nap for the next few hours but he also didn’t want to leave Jaskier alone on a long car ride. He buckled his seat belt, waiting for Jaskier to get back into the car hoping he could hold himself together long enough for that. He watched Jaskier pay with his parent’s credit card they gave him for college making Geralt feel worse for being a poor ass mother fucker making his boyfriend pay for everything. He can’t bring himself to using the 3 grand his mother gave him, it felt wrong. 

Once Jaskier got back in the car with a shopping bag in hand, he pulled out the monster energy drink and handed it to Geralt. “There you go, darling,” Jaskier smiled before pulling out one for himself and popping it into the cup holder. He threw the rest in the back seat, looking back at Geralt who didn’t realize tears were flowing down his face until Jaskier wiped them away.

“Sorry,” Geralt sniffled, wiping his nose with the back of his hand. 

“Hey...Don’t be,” Jaskier started the car and pulled into a different parking spot that wasn’t blocking a gas pump. Jaskier leaned over the centre console again pulling Geralt into a tight hug, “We will get through this Geralt.” 

“I’m just dragging you down…” Geralt was trying not to cry, thinking about what Eskel said to Aiden a while back about how Lambert was drowning him. He was doing the same thing to Jaskier, he was dead weight. 

“Geralt no, you have made me a better person.”

*** * ***

“That’s where your apartment is?” Jaskier put the car in park, looking up at the building in front of them. 

“Yup, we can drop off our stuff here then go to the hospital” Geralt unbuckled his seat belt, he really couldn’t wait to see Roach again, she was going to be so happy. 

“Okay,” Jaskier got out of the car looking worried? He didn’t look disgusted by how badly maintained the building was but just pure worry, “Is Roach there?” 

“She’s at Henry’s but I’m going to move her over to my apartment since we might be there for a few days” Geralt hoped he wouldn’t be, he wasn’t even sure if he could sleep in that apartment. 

Jaskier got their bags from the back, slamming the trunk shut, Geralt helped Jaskier bring up the bags to the 3rd floor where Geralt’s apartment was. He placed the bags near the door, “Just wait here, I’m going to bring her to meet you first before we go in.” Roach was super protective of him and of the places they have lived in. He really hoped she liked Jaskier…

“Okay, god I feel like I’m meeting your daughter or something” Jaskier laughed, winning a small smile from Geralt as he walked to Henry’s place who was still at the hospital. Geralt pulled out his keys trying to remember which one was the spare key to this apartment and unlocked it. 

“Roach?” Geralt popped his head in seeing her head pop up from a large bed in the corner of the room. She got super excited scooping her duck into her mouth and running full speed at him, Geralt didn’t stop her this time. He kneeled down wrapping his arms around her as she ran into him knocking him to the ground just before dropping the wet duck onto his face. 

“Roach, yuck!” Geralt laughed, giving her rough pets as she licked his face leaving salvia on his face. “Alright, Roach, Off.” 

She got off of him, sitting pretty as Geralt sat up wiping the drool off his face, gross. “Okay, so listen,” Geralt itched behind her ear, “There is someone special I want you to meet.” 

Roach let out a deep bark as an answer, “Hey, It can’t be me and you all the time, Roach.” Geralt stood up handing Roach her duck that she took without question. 

“You’ll love him,” Geralt grabbed her leash off the rack by the door, just before Roach growled, her ears went back as she laid down rebelling against Geralt. 

“Come on girl,” Geralt walked up to her, getting growled at whenever he tried to put the leash on her. “Roach, stop it” Geralt did the hand signal for her to look at him, “Just at least meet him, you might feel different about it after.” He was finally able to attach the leash on her, and led her out of the apartment. Roach sat down beside Geralt eyeing Jaskier down the hall as Geralt locked the apartment door. 

“Be nice,” Geralt whispered to her, leading her closer to Jaskier. 

“What do I do? I’ve never had a dog before,” Jaskier awkwardly stood there, waiting for Geralt’s direction. 

“One second,” Geralt gave her the hand signal to sit, holding on to her leash closer to her so if things go wrong it was easier to pull her back. “Okay, let her smell you first, just put your hand out to her.” 

“Okay,” Jaskier walked up to her slowly which caused a growl to escape Roach’s duck filled mouth. 

“Roach, nice” Geralt gave her leash a little tug which stopped growling, “It’s okay Jaskier.” 

Jaskier looked scared, probably because she was a pretty big dog, but he walked a little closer, holding his hand out to her. Roach didn’t smell him at first, just kind of sat there until Geralt clicked his tongue and she gave up on giving Jaskier the cold shoulder and gave him a big sniff. 

“Wh--” Jaskier was just about to ask something before Roach dropped the duck in his hand, a good sign. 

“That’s Duck, her lover” Geralt jokes. If anything she was more in love with Geralt then Duck. 

“Oh,” Jaskier smiled brightly, “Aren’t you the cutest thing.” 

Roach barked at Jaskier, making him jump but it also shook a laugh out of him, “You know you're cute don’t you.” Jaskier slowly reached down to pet her and she moved her head into his hand, getting a nice pet from Jaskier. The stress of her not liking him faded, it was rare that she liked other people so this was good, really good. 

“Good girl,” Geralt smiled, very happy with how she was doing, he wondered if Roach could smell that Jaskier was a good person or if she was just doing this to make Geralt happy. Jaskier was giving her a bunch of pets that she seemed to enjoy so Geralt released the tension on the leash and walked to his apartment door. He wondered if it was still going to be spotless like last time, or if something happened. He used the keys to unlock the door, pushing it open. It was very much the same as last time besides having dishes in the sink. 

Jaskier stood up, giving Duck back to Roach, “You okay?” Jaskier asked, probably noticing he was being cautious as he looked into the apartment. 

“Yeah…” Geralt opened the door fully signalling Roach to go in who also cautiously walked in. Roach hadn’t been back here since the event, so it was understandable she was acting this way. Jaskier helped Geralt move the bags inside Roach even left Duck with their bags. Jaskier took a look around, eyeing some of the holes in the drywall that never got fixed.

“We should take Roach out before we leave again, Henry said she’s been inside all day.” Geralt swallowed hard, as he could see questions sparking in Jaskier’s mind but he didn’t ask them. 

“Okay, ah, can I talk to you about something before we do that?” Jaskier looked down at his feet and back up to Geralt. It made Geralt nervous, what did he do? 

“Yeah, sure,” Geralt sat down on the couch, already getting Roaches head in his lap. His anxiety was always lower when she was here with him. 

“It’s not super bad, just…” Jaskier sat down beside him, “When we had sex the first time we didn’t use a condom and I think we need to tested.” 

Geralt stared at him, wondering if that was it, what that everything? “Okay, I’m probably clean, Me and yen always used condoms,” Geralt shrugged it off. 

“I got tested a year ago, which I was clean but I’ve also had like 6 sex partners this year alone.” Jaskier rubbed the back of his neck kind of in shame “But I did use a condom every time except the one time with you because I was excited...” 

“Then we’re probably fine, but we can get tested when we get back” Geralt gave Roach a little scratch behind the ear giving her a little smile. It was crazy how calm he was with just a dog nearby. 

“You’re taking this better than I thought,” Jaskier nervously laughed, Geralt looked at Jaskier, seeing that look he had in the car had faded. 

“It’s cool, I figured this talk would happen,” Geralt Leaned over and kissed Jaskier, getting a low growl from Roach. “Oh someone is Jealous” Geralt chuckled. 

Jaskier laughed, “Now, I’m a homewrecker.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I always had this weird idea that Geralt wrote the Witcher books...So Yeah.   
> P.S Roach is my favourite.


	42. Chapter 42

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning: Past Ab*se

When they got to the hospital, Geralt was nearing another panic attack, it was a mix of flashbacks and worry about his mother. Jaskier held Geralt’s hand tightly trying to calm him as they walked into the waiting room. Henry stood up the moment he noticed Geralt, he looked rough, probably because he had been here for most of the day. 

“Hey,” Henry walked up to them holding a magazine in his hand. his eyes wandered to Jaskier’’s hand then up to his face. “You’re going to have to talk with the nurse about seeing your mom.” 

Geralt nodded, everything felt like a dream since they got here, everything was foggy and floaty. 

“What did they tell you?” Jaskier asked if he knew Geralt wasn’t in the right headspace to talk to anyone right now. Fuck, Geralt was so glad he bought Jaskier with him. 

Henry kind of stared at him, “No, I’m sorry who are you?”

“Jaskier, Geralt’s roommate,” Jaskier held his hand out to Henry, the one that wasn’t laced with Geralt’s. 

Henry firmly grabbed Jaskier’s hand, “Ah, Right, Geralt said…” Henry just seemed confused about why they were holding holds. Geralt never told him anything about the people he was friends with, Just that his roommate was giving him a ride. 

“Right…” he looked away from the two of them, clearly uncomfortable but probably could see that Jaskier was ready to throw hands if he had anything to say about it since it was the only thing keeping Geralt calm. 

“You said Yen stopped by?” Geralt finally choked out, just wondering why she was here. 

“She dropped off some coffee for me, She’s very sweet” Henry smiled, “Shame you two aren’t together anymore” 

Geralt took a deep breath, feeling his stomach turn into a giant knot as he tried to choke down the vomit that really wanted to come out. It seemed to be one thing after another today, his body was really against him to the point where it was unburying things he already worked through and accepted. Jaskier frowned at Henry and thanked him for everything in Geralt’s place and walked him away. Jaskier didn’t know much about what happened with Yennefer but knew enough to know their relationship was a toxic mess. 

“You sure you want to go see her? You look as white as a sheet” Jaskier whispered as they slowly walked to the nurse’s station. Geralt nodded, he needed to see her, make sure that she was at least alive, at least still sober but a part of him wished she was also dead. 

“Okay…” Jaskier talked to the nurse for the first little while, sweet-talking her and explaining that Geralt was her son. Geralt’s ears were ringing so loud as the flashbacks of him being here not that long ago echoed in the back of his mind. His Mother was a hot mess that day totally losing it on the staff to ‘save her son’ even though she caused all the damage. 

“We have been trying to get a hold of you,” The nurse looked at Geralt, 

“Yeah, You called my apartment, not my cell” Geralt choked out, wiping sweat off his forehead. Trying to prepare for what was to come, the unknown that he had been so anxious about. “Can I see her?” Geralt asked, hoping the answer was yes, but also no. He wasn’t sure what he wanted because both sides of the coin were bad. 

“Yes, but she is a little out of it at the moment, she’s on some pretty strong pain meds,” The nurse stood up. 

“She was newly sober,” Geralt barked out, Jaskier squeezed his hand trying to calm him down. 

The nurse walked around the counter, “Geralt you can follow me, Unfortunately, your friend will have to wait in the waiting room.” 

“He’s my fianc é , he stays,” Geralt looked at Jaskier getting a surprised look from him. That was not the way he thought he would come out, but he needed Jaskier with him and that was going to be the only way they would let him. 

“Okay, follow me then” she waved them to follow, walking them down the halls until they got to Geralt’s mother’s room. 

“Here she is,” the nurse pointed to the door, “She only woke up from surgery a few hours ago but she is stable, I’ll get the doctor to come to tell you everything in a little bit.” 

Geralt swallowed hard, nodding a lot more than he thought he would, at least he could talk to her, get some answers. Jaskier thanked the nurse for Geralt then guided him into the room. Geralt’s hearing was overtaken by a loud beeping that was coming from the machines she was hooked up to. One of her legs was in a cast, her arms had deep purple bruises worse then he had ever seen her have before. The left side of her head was heavily bandaged, probably from the surgery or something. 

Jaskier looked at Geralt, “You okay?” He whispered, getting just a nod from Geralt even though he was far from okay. He let go of Jaskier’s hand, slowly walking to the chair that was placed beside the bed.

“Mom?” Geralt sat down, the moment she opened her eyes smiling.

“Geralt? You came?” Her red hair was still matted with blood, Geralt felt hot tears flowing down his face as she grabbed her hand, getting a weak grip in return. Jaskier stood behind Geralt, putting the weight of his hands on Geralt’s shoulders enough to make him feel safe. 

“What happened?” Geralt choked out, “Is this about the money you left me?” 

His mother took a deep breath, “No, that was from your grandfather,” she took a long pause, taking another deep breath, she hadn’t taken her eyes off Geralt this whole time. “He gave it to me for rent for the next few months but I thought you would get more out of it than me.” 

Geralt clenched his jaw, she was never good with money, and this showed she was still the same. “Your lucky Henry likes me, mom” Geralt rubbed the tears away with his free hand, “But then why did this happen?” 

She shrugged, letting out a small giggle, “Who knows.” 

Geralt sighed, looking down at her arm for any fresh track marks, which there wasn’t they were all healed. Maybe she kept her word, but he couldn’t be sure, he could never be sure. 

“Mo--” Geralt got cut off by her, mumbling something under her breath before looking up at Jaskier. 

“Who’s with you?” She asked before Jaskier squeezed Geralt’s shoulders. Should he lie about what Jaskier was to him? Or just say the truth, to be honest, this was the best time to tell her. They were in a public place, he had someone with him so she was less likely to freak out, and she was in a hospital bed. She would never show her true colours when other people were watching, so now is the time. 

“Jaskier, he’s my boyfriend,” Geralt sucked in a deep breath, as she pulled her hand away from him. There was a moment he thought she was going to hit him, he flinched like a scared puppy before her arm flopped down across her stomach. 

There was an awkward silence in the room, Geralt looked down at his feet, grabbing ahold of one of Jaskier’s hands that were resting on his shoulder. 

“I want you out of the apartment,” She mumbled, looked back at Geralt with burning rage. Jokes on her Henry moved the apartment in Geralt’s name when he turned 17 so technically she was only living there because Geralt let her. Geralt felt some odd power over her, maybe it was her weakened state or that fact he just came out of the closet and was having some weird rush.

“The apartment is in my name,” Geralt stood up, “I gave you chance-”

His mother let out another chuckle, “It’s not in your name, you don’t even pay the rent.” 

“I’ve been paying rent since I was fucking 12, don’t pull that shit on me!” Geralt half-shouted but dialled his voice down in case someone heard them. “I’m done, find a new place to live and come find me when you're 10 years sober! How about that?” 

Jaskier had grabbed Geralt’s arm and was holding him back from clocking her in the face. Maybe it would have done her some good, show her how it feels but that would have just dropped him down to her level. 

“Geralt,let’s just go,” Jaskier whispered, tugging on his arm. 

“Everything I’ve done for you…” his mother shook her head, “...you always seem to make everything about you.” 

“Fuck off,” Geralt growled out, feeling Jaskier tug on him again, he understood why Jaskier wanted them to leave, this really wasn’t the place to make a scene. Jaskier pulled Geralt out of the room, as his mother ranted and screamed. Jaskier had this serious face on, that he never saw him have before like he finally put all the puzzle pieces together. 

Then it hit him, you just fucking stood up to his mother, without the shake in his voice, he did it. 


	43. Chapter 43

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning: Talk about Past Ab*se

After Geralt lost it on his mother and they got back to the apartment Geralt had one of the worst panic attacks he had ever had but boy it was worth it. Jaskier had spent most of the night awake with him since Geralt couldn’t calm his body but he made it up to Jaskier in the morning. Letting him sleep in until almost 1 PM and bringing him breakfast. 

Geralt then spent the afternoon trying to change the lock on his apartment door, Henry had let him do it as long as he gave him a copy of the new key of course. Jaskier had tried to hire someone to do it but Geralt put up a fuss, he just wanted to do it himself. There was something ritualist about it, like was closing the door of his old life. 

“I think Roach needs to pee, she’s just staring at me” Jaskier was laying on the couch, having Roach sitting on the floor beside him just panting and staring. 

“Probably, do you mind taking her out?” Geralt finally got the old deadbolt out, the screws were pretty rusted so it took Geralt more effort than he thought it would. 

“Sure, if she lets me…” Jaskier sat up, giving Roach a big itch being the ear “Want to go outside?” Roach barked in response making Jaskier giggle. The two of them got long, unless Jaskier touched, kissed, or stood near Geralt, that was a different story altogether. 

Geralt placed the old deadbolt on the ground, before grabbing the new one and cutting the packaging open to get it out. 

“Where’s her leash?” Jaskier asked, scanning around the apartment. 

“Kitchen,” Geralt pointed before going back to what he was doing. “Wear my jacket when you go outside, so you don’t look so rich.” 

“Right, like I’m going to get mugged in broad daylight” Jaskier smirked,

“In this area, you would be surprised.” Geralt laughed, “I’m surprised your car hasn’t gotten broken into.” 

“Okay, okay, I’ll wear your jacket,” Jaskier snorted, “Since you're so worried.” Jaskier grabbed the leash off the counter attaching to Roach who was following him around, tail wagging in excitement.

Geralt smiled as he placed a screw in his mouth so it was easier to grab after. Jaskier threw on Geralt’s jacket which was much too big for him but it was very adorable on him. 

“Kay, I’ll be back,” Jaskier kissed Geralt’s cheek, getting a low growl from Roach who started to pull him out into a hall. Geralt laughed out loud, nearly choking on the screws before continuing to try and finish installing the deadbolt. 

Geralt felt very empowered in changing the locks but a part of him was still sad about it. Like was this the right thing to do? Kicking his mother out of his life? 

“Who was taking Roach out?” Yennefer’s voice called from down the hall, Geralt finished putting the last screw in before looking and seeing her standing by the door with a tray of coffee in hand. 

“None of your business,” Geralt sighed, “What do you want Yennefer?” 

A smile crawled on her face, she looked amused by Geralt’s attitude, “Nothing, just heard you were back in town thought I’d say hi.”

Geralt ignored her, starting to clear up all of his tools and trash in front of the door. It was super awkward having her just watching him clean up, he honestly didn’t want to have to deal with her, why was she here?

“Are you going to leave?” Geralt crossed his arms after everything was picked up. 

“Does Henry know you changed the lock?” Yennefer asked, 

“Yes,” Geralt raised his eyebrow, “Anything else?” 

“Did you go see your mom?” Yennefer looked down the hall, she was probably waiting to see Jaskier that way she could meet him, that was so like her. 

“Yennefer, I’m not introducing you,” Geralt rolled his eyes, 

“Oh come on, I think he would enjoy me,” Yennefer smiled, leaning in the doorway. She was making him very uncomfortable, two confrontations in less than 24 hours were rough on him. Geralt still tried to stand his ground until Jaskier came back that way he wasn’t stuck in the hall with her. 

“Highly doubt it, you’re not his type” Geralt snorted, little did she know Jaskier was hella gay. Yennefer really didn’t understand that not everyone was interested in her. 

“I’m everyone’s type Geralt,” Yennefer laughed, smiling as soon as she saw Jaskier walking down the hall again. She must have come here to see Henry but decided to play some games like she always did. Jaskier looked confused as he walked closer to the apartment door, Roach was already angrily barking at Yennefer, Roach hated her just as much as she hated Geralt’s mom. 

“Julien, get inside before Roach bites her, I don’t want a lawsuit” Geralt glared at Yennefer, who had a smug look on her face as Jaskier shortened Roach’s leash as they got closer. Jaskier gave Geralt a weird look since Geralt NEVER called him Julien since they met, but Geralt wanted to throw her off a bit since none of Jaskier’s social media had his real name. 

“I was just here to see Henry--” Geralt cut off Yennefer, narrowing his eyes at her “Yes, you were just leaving.” 

“What’s going on here, Darling?” Jaskier frowned, guiding Roach close by, she seemed to be in guard dog mode ready to fuck anyone’s day up if they got close to Jaskier. That kind of warmed Geralt’s heart, she probably knew how much he meant to him. 

“Nothing,” Yennefer stopped leaning on the door frame, she looked a little shocked by Jaskier calling him Darling, which made Geralt smile. Jaskier raised his eyebrow at her when he led Roach inside, probably putting the pieces together that it was Yennefer. Her eyes were easy to place, not many people had her eye colour if any at all. 

Jaskier backed up his stops a bit and pulled Geralt into a deep kiss, probably shocking Yennefer just as much as it shocked Geralt. When he broke the contact, smiling widely at the ‘show’ he just put on “Don’t take too long.” 

Geralt nodded, not really knowing what to say, he never seen Jaskier act like that in front of other people before but they weren’t openly dating before so maybe he was having some fun with it. When Jaskier was out of view and caring for Roach, Yennefer scoffed “I should have known, all makes sense now.” 

Yennefer tapped Geralt’s shoulder, “See you around Geralt.” 

  
  


*** * ***

Jaskier insisted on taking a bath since it was probably going to be a while until he used one again. Their dorm only had a standing shower which Jaskier hated. He liked taking his time getting clean and taking time to relax. 

Geralt joined him, because why not, he could really use some relaxation time with Jaskier. The last few days had caused him to be so knotted up. Geralt was backed up against Jaskier letting him rub his shoulders in the steamy heat of the bath. 

“I still can’t get over her face,” Jaskier snorted, “Hopefully that makes her stop bugging you.” Geralt explained to him what happened with Coen after she left since he didn’t want to withhold any info from him anymore. 

“Mhmm,” Geralt smiled, things were finally looking up for him, he dealt with two things that were causing him the most anxiety. The weight he had been holding up on his shoulders for so long was finally lifting. He wouldn’t have been able to do it if it weren’t for Jaskier just being here. 

Jaskier massaged his lower on his shoulders, digging his thumbs into the muscles of Geralt’s back until he got close to Geralt’s scars, “did…” Jaskier nearly said something but seemed to swallow his words. 

“Yeah, my mom did that,” Geralt looked back at Jaskier who placed his hand over the scar before kissing Geralt’s shoulder. 

“She didn’t want me to leave for college, decided the best way to make sure I couldn’t go was to make sure I couldn’t walk” Geralt felt Jaskier’s arms wrap around him, squeezing his middle like he was trying to put all the pieces back together. 

“I’ll never let that happen to you again,” Jaskier mumbled into his back, planting kisses along his shoulder as a promise. 

“Why don’t you stay with me over the summer?” Geralt spat out, “It would be a big downgrade from you---”

“Yes, I’ll go anywhere with you Darling,” Jaskier chuckled, “but only if I can buy you a better bed.” 

“Fine,” Geralt smiled, turning around to face Jaskier who’s damp hair was pushed back out of his face making him look sexier than normal. They could keep each other safe here before their crazy lives and shitty parents. 

“Also, does this mean I can make our relationship Facebook official?” Jaskier smirked, “dazzle everyone with my sexy, amazing, good looking, uh, handsome,---” 

“Stop while you're ahead Jaskier,” Geralt laughed, planting a few soft kisses on Jaskier just to make him shut up for a few seconds. “But yes, you can do that, I’m okay with that now.” 

“Great,” Jaskier pulled Geralt closer into a sloppy kiss, which woke the bear that is Roach who finally managed to push open the very much broken bathroom door. 

“Roa-” before Geralt knew it she was in the bath with them, it seemed like Jaskier could never get that relaxing bath he wanted when Geralt was around. Yet another mess to clean up as water slipped over the sides. 

“The apple doesn’t fall from the tree I see,” Jaskier laughed, getting a happy bark from a very wet Roach. 

Is this what happiness feels like? 


	44. Chapter 44

They had left in the morning, taking another long drive back to Ottawa, Roach was back with Henry every time Geralt left Roach it broke his heart hearing her bark and cry at the door when it closed behind him. 

Geralt had gone back to writing, nearly filling over half of the notebook just from the last two car rides. It was just loads of short stories that connected in some weird timeline. Whenever he got an idea for something that would happen he would just write it even if it didn’t fit the same timeline as the last. 

“You’re really getting into this writing thing,” Jaskier chuckled, “I’m going to have to buy you a new notebook, or maybe a laptop.” 

“You don’t have to buy me anything,” Geralt shook his head, grabbing the monster energy drink out of the cupholder, “I think you have spoiled me enough.” 

“I’m just getting started, my love,” Jaskier moved one of his hands off the wheel and on to Geralt’s thigh. 

“Aren’t your parents going to get annoyed if you just start spending money willy nilly on me?” Geralt took a deep drink out of the can and placed it back into the cupholder. 

“Nah, they really don’t look too deep into things” Jaskier shrugged, “Can I tell you a secret?” 

Oh no, a secret? Jaskier had those? “Yeah,” Geralt placed his hand on top of Jaskier feeling his soft skin. 

“Priscilla and I have been stealing from our parents for 3 years,” Jaskier looked over at Geralt seeing a shocked expression, “Okay, that sounds bad, we move a tiny amount of money from our accounts each month into an account they don’t know about. It’s just in case they cut us off because...You know.” 

“I guess it’s smart,” Geralt laced his fingers with Jaskier “but how much is a little money to you?” 

“100 bucks or so, I don’t know how much Priscilla moves, I don’t really check” Jaskier looked over at him watching Geralt play with the rings on his fingers. 

“If a 100 bucks went missing in my account I’d freak the fuck out,” Geralt shook his head. His parents must have been really rich to have not noticed that, but Geralt didn’t blame the twins for doing that; they lived in total fear all the time. That one day everything they were used to would just disappear. 

“I know,” Jaskier squeezed Geralt’s hand, smiling “Do you want to find a place to pull over and stretch our legs?” 

Geralt looked up at Jaskier getting a wink from him, they haven’t had sex since his mom was put in the hospital so it made sense that Jaskier wanted to take advantage of Geralt’s good mood. 

“Sure,” Geralt kissed Jaskier’s hand, he had felt all warm and fuzzy around Jaskier since they shared a bath together. It’s like he finally was letting himself feel the happiness that Jaskier was giving him. 

“Were not that far from a town so...sit tight” Jaskier smiled, that fucking beautiful smile. Geralt never wanted to lose him, never not in a million years. 

“I love you,” Geralt smiled, feeling the need to tell Jaskier that every 10 minutes so he never feels like no one ever loved him. 

“I love you too”

It took about half an hour before they got to the next town, pulling over into an empty parking lot. They honestly not that far from Ottawa maybe about 2 hours or so but Geralt guessed Jaskier couldn’t wait. 

Jaskier unbuckled his seat belt and leaned over to kiss Geralt, which kind of made it feel more real and sparked a little anxiety about people seeing them. Geralt pulled back getting him leaning closer, “Wait, wa-- What if people see us?” 

“The windows are tinted,” Jaskier smiled, reaching down to unbuckle Geralt’s seat belt. “We can go in the back if you’re worried” 

“Okay, but we make it fast.” Geralt pulled Jaskier back into a kiss, he breathed Jaskier in, deeply exploring the place he never wanted to lose. They made out for a while, sloppily swapping saliva like it was wine before Jaskier pulled off and climbed into the back seat already trying to take off his tight jeans in such a small space. 

“Fuck--” Jaskier had his jeans half off before he kicked his shoes off and pointed his legs to Geralt in the front seat, “Pull.” 

Geralt laughed as he aided Jaskier, throwing them on the front seat before joining him in the back. Jaskier was already reaching into one of the bags that had been placed in the backseat pulling out a condom. 

“Jeez you're not wasting time,” Geralt raised his eyebrows at Jaskier. 

“You said to make it fast,” He handed Geralt the condom eagerly, “I’ll bottom, it’s extra lubricated.” 

Geralt unbuckled his pants and slid out his already rock hard cock. Honestly just the look of Jaskier naked was enough to make him hard now. He definitely has made big improvements in that department. Jaskier slid off his underwear, throwing them in the front seat out of the way before laying down on the seats. 

Once Geralt had the condom on he kneeled on the seats, hitting his head off the ceiling of the car, “ouch…” Jaskier had broken out in laughter, fuck Geralt was too tall for this shit. 

“Come here,” Jaskier lifted his thighs up, letting Geralt lean against them, pushing them against his chest. Geralt had the tip of his cock pressing against Jaskier’s entrance, this would be the first time they had sex without foreplay first…

“You sure?” Geralt’s heart was racing already, he was worried about Jaskier, he didn’t want to hurt him. 

“Yeah, I’m 100% sure,” Jaskier smiled, which very quickly turned into a face of pleasure as Geralt slowly inserted himself. “You okay?” 

Jaskier nodded his head, as he moaned, pulling himself up a bit so he could kiss Geralt roughly. Geralt slowly started to thrust, feeling Jaskier’s muscles pulling him back in. Jaskier had already started stroking his own cock between them, moaning deeply, and breathing loudly. “Fuck, Geralt you are amazing,” Jaskier breathed out as Geralt trusted back into him. 

Waves of pleasure hit Geralt, he lightly bit into Jaskier’s sweet-tasting flesh of his thigh trying not to moan as loud as thrusted. 

“Geralt, I want to hear you,” Jaskier pushed himself back against one of Geralt’s thrusts making Geralt moan into his thigh loudly. Geralt worried about people hearing them or seeing them faded as he looked into Jaskier’s crystal blue eyes that made him feel safe. 

He picked up the pace of his thrusts, getting a louder response from Jaskier, who worked himself at the same speed. 

“Fuck Geral--” Jaskier moaned, “I’m so close.”

Geralt was already coming up to the edge but he didn’t want to cum before Jaskier because it just felt rude? Was that a thing? He slowed the pace of his thrusts but made them harder, it didn’t take long before Jaskier exploded all over his shirt. He kind of didn’t want this to end, even though he said he wanted it to be fast. Geralt knew this wouldn’t be the last time they had sex but he still loved these moments and wanted them to last forever. 

Geralt picked up the pace of his thrusts again, feeling Jaskier’s body shaking against his as he crashed over the edge, moaning loudly as he came inside Jaskier. The two of them painted loudly as they caught their breath. 

“You sir are going to have to drive now,” Jaskier laughed, wiping the sweat off his brow. 

“You trust me with your fancy car?” Geralt slowly pulled out of Jaskier, getting a sigh from him. 

“I do, my legs don’t really work right now,” Jaskier smiled, “I’m just going to lay here.” 

Geralt chuckled as he pulled the condom off and tied a knot in it, “You’re going to need a new shirt.” 

Jaskier nodded, “Later like I said, I’m just going to lay here until we get home.”

“You’re being dramatic,” Geralt pulled his pants back up and buckled his belt back up. 

“I’m not, whoever said size doesn’t matter, lied” Jaskier snorted as Geralt climbed back up to the front seat, throwing Jaskier’s clothes back at him and placing the condom in the trash bag at the front. 

Geralt laughed, “Quiet you.”

*** * ***

When they got back to the dorm it was pretty late in the night, Jaskier had gotten dressed in the back of the car before helping Geralt bring up all the luggage. Geralt was happy to be back in Ottawa and away from his crazy life back home. Going to this school was the best Idea he ever made, it was that new start he needed. 

Geralt pushed the door open, seeing their tiny dorm, he was exhausted just wanting to just collapse on the bed and pass out. 

“Home sweet home,” Jaskier turned the light on dropping their bags on the ground. 

Geralt smiled because that’s what it was to him, “I can’t wait to sleep.” 

“Ugh, same,” Jaskier walked into his room and flopped on the bed letting out a big sigh. “I missed you so much!” Geralt left the bags in his hand at the door, and followed Jaskier, taking off his shoes before joining him on the bed. 

Geralt stared at Jaskier, eyeing the curves of his face, the way his hair fell. He had thought about it on the way here when Jaskier was passed out half-naked in the backseat of the car. 

“Marry me,” Geralt propped himself up on his elbow getting a shocked look after Jaskier. Maybe it was the exhaustion talking but he didn’t want to lose him, he wanted to wake up to Jaskier’s face every day for the rest of his life.

“What?” Jaskier turned his head to Geralt, a dumbfounded look on his face,

“Will you marry me?” Geralt smiled, 

Jaskier smiled backed nearly in tears “Yes.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry, I'm late and short lol it's been a rough day.


	45. Chapter 45

Ten Year Later.

.... _ Dandelion obeyed. He discovered to his horror that a short rope had been tied to the knots around his ankles with a bucket full of lime attached to the other end.  _

_ “If I have you pulled any higher,” Rience smiled cruelly. “And this bucket lifts with you, then you probably never regain the feeling in your hands. After that, I doubt you will be capable of playing anything on a lute. I really doubt it. So I think you’ll talk to me, am I right?” _

Geralt took off his glasses throwing them on his keyboard, why was he writing this again? Did it really need to be in here? Geralt rubbed his temples, this was his third book yet he still second-guessed every line. It was worse when he had to write things about Dandelion, based on Jaskier...He couldn’t imagine anything bad happening to him. Geralt played with his wedding band on his finger thinking about just calling it quits for the evening and crawling into bed with a very angry husband. Jaskier hated it when he stayed up late burning the midnight oil on this book. 

Geralt yawned, before turning off his computer monitor, just before he heard the cry of a baby coming out of the baby monitor he had on his desk. 

“Oh no, Klaudia,” Geralt let out a big sigh, putting his glasses back on. His vision had gotten worse over the years of sitting in front of a screen, risks of being a writer he guessed. 

As he stood up Roach ran into his office barking, Geralt was now her second love since Klaudia was born 2 months ago, she was a very judgy co-parent. 

“Shhhh, you’re going to wake up in the house,” Geralt groaned, “I’m coming.” Geralt followed Roach down the hall as she led him to the baby’s room, it was painted a beautiful yellow, with finely painted butterflies everywhere that had taken Jaskier a whole month to paint. He walked up to the crib seeing Klaudia screaming and crying, Geralt smiled down at her placing his hand on her chest. 

“Hey, Jelly bean,” Geralt scooped her up into his arms gently, seeing her beautiful blue eyes just like Jaskier. Priscilla was their little easy bake baby oven which Geralt was so grateful for. “You hungry sweety?” Roach grabbed a hold of Geralt’s pants with her teeth pulling on him. 

“Okay, okay, I’m going” 

Geralt walked into the kitchen, trying to hush the baby as he walked which was no real help. Once she got going she was only quiet when she got what she wanted or when Jaskier sang. 

“What are you still doing up?” Geralt asked, seeing Ciri was sitting at the kitchen table watching something on her laptop. Geralt and Jaskier had taken her in after Vesemir passed away 3 years ago from heart failure. They were in the process of adopting her but it was taking forever. Unfortunately, she had been depressed ever since Vesemir causing her to not sleep much. Geralt did his best to aid her with therapy and stuff.

“Could ask you the same thing,” Ciri closed her laptop “Jaskier is going to be pissed.” 

“What are you talking about? Baby woke me up” Geralt rocked the baby, hushing her as she cried. 

“Sure, sure,” Ciri snorted, as Geralt grabbed one of the prepared bottles in the fridge and walked over to the microwave. 

“You know it’s not a good idea to microwave that,” Ciri sighed, 

“I’ve done it before,” Geralt opened the microwave before Jaskier groggy over called from behind him. “You should listen to her, We literally have a bottle warmer.” 

Geralt jumped at hearing his voice, “Fuck, go back to bed Jaskier, I got it” Geralt frowned at him. 

Jaskier smiled, walking up behind him grabbing the bottle out of his hands, “I got it,” 

Geralt looked down at Roach who looked pleased with Jaskier’s help. “Come on, my mom microwaved my bottles and I turned out fine.” Geralt joked about his past a lot now, years of therapy owed him that. 

Jaskier popped the bottle into the warmer, turning to Geralt looking not impressed with that comment. Jaskier had aged well, only a few wrinkles around his eyes had given any mist of ageing. “What are you still doing awake anyway?” 

“Called it,” Ciri laughed, which Geralt returned a frown to her. 

“I was just finishing a thought,” Geralt rubbed his finger down the bridge of Klaudia’s nose breaking up her cries with confusion. 

“You said you would be in bed in an hour, three hours ago,” Jaskier raised his eyebrow at him. 

“Sometimes I get on a roll and I can’t stop,” Geralt sighed, “Can I just have the bottle now?” 

“Fine,” Jaskier pulled the bottle out of the machine and tested it on his skin before handing it to Geralt. Klaudia kind of fought against the bottle until she knew what it was and finally latched onto drinking it deeply. 

Jaskier had moved over to Ciri by this point, asking her if she was okay, or if she needed to talk about anything. Jaskier was really good with Ciri just as good as he was with Geralt when they were in college. 

“Remember you can talk to us about anything,” Jaskier smiled at her, kissing the top of her head. 

“I know…” Ciri nodded, None of them gave her too hard of a time about sleeping, Geralt understood why hard it could be sometimes. If she got too exhausted they would let her stay home from school to sleep through the day which the school didn’t like them doing. 

“Try and get a little bit of shut-eye, you have school in the morning” Jaskier combed his fingers through her ashen hair, in hopes that it would relax her enough to get some sleep. 

“Okay, Yeah” Ciri didn’t move, just let him play in her hair for a bit. Eskel and Lambert were the ones that made the call for her to move in with Geralt since he worked from home; it was the best for her. Lambert worked all hours of the day and Eskel worked 80 hour weeks so wasn’t the best idea for her to be with them. 

Geralt looked down at the tiny with life in his arms that was already halfway done her bottle, she was so beautiful, the perfect mix of Jaskier and him. He was so lucky to have her in his life and was even luckier to be able to see her every hour of the day. 

“Good night Geralt, and good night jelly bean,” Ciri kissed the top of Klaudia’s head, with a smile before walking down the hall. 

Jaskier sat down at the table, looking exhausted, parenthood was rough for him because he needed his sleep more than Geralt did. “Go to sleep, I got her” Geralt hummed, pulling the bottle away from Klaudia to give her a breather. 

“Nah, I want to make sure you come to bed with me,” Jaskier smiled, resting his chin in his hand. God, he loved him, his love for Jaskier never changed over the years they were still so in love with each other it sickened their friends to no end. 

“I think she’s done,” Geralt watched Klaudia’s blinking get slower as she drank, Roach barked at Geralt’s feet probably because she knew the same thing. Geralt pulled the bottle away, placing it on the counter and changed her positions to rest her head on his shoulder. He gently patted her back to get her to burp, hopefully, she didn’t vomit on him again.

Jaskier was falling asleep at the table, drool coming out of the edge of his lips, it made Geralt smile seeing him like that. “Jaskier, Go to bed,” Geralt groaned,   
“No,” Jaskier replied, frowning, “Never.” 

Once Klaudia was put back to sleep he crawled into bed with Jaskier, who cuddled up to him tightly. Geralt placed his glasses on the end table, before wrapping his arms around Jaskier and breathing in that same smell that never changed. 

*** * ***

Aiden woke up to the curtains being drawn, seeing Lambert standing in the light of the window. Already dressed in uniform, it was crazy that he promised himself he would never marry a cop like his father yet here he was, married to a cop. 

“Morning, Princess” Lambert moved to the side of the bed, leaning down to kiss Aiden’s forehead. “How are you feeling?” 

“Good,” Aiden smiled at Lambert. 

Aiden had been diagnosed with prostate cancer a few months ago, it was in the early stages so nothing too serious but Lambert still made him quit his job since he still needed radiation treatments. 

“Good, remember Geralt is picking you up at noon for your appointment,” Lambert smiled, “I have to drive the kids to school before work.” 

Aiden nodded, feeling the wave of exhaustion hit him as he sat up, “I want to give them a hug goodbye.” Aiden and Lambert had adopted twins 2 years ago and the boys Haoran, and Zihan weren't dealing with Aiden getting sick very well. 

“I’ll get them,” Lambert kissed Aiden on the lips before standing up, “You fucking rest.” 

Aiden sighed, flopping down on the bed, annoyed that Lambert was being so overbearing. It’s not like he was dying or anything, he watched Lambert leave the room. Aiden only had a few more rounds of radiation before he was done, hopefully, that meant he would be cancer-free and Lambert would stop treating him like a flower. 

It didn’t take long before he heard tiny footsteps running up the stairs into his room, the two boys jumped on the bed and hugged Aiden so tightly. 

“Boys! Be careful!” Lambert called from behind them, Aiden honestly didn’t care; he held their small bodies tightly as they giggled loudly. The boys were adopted from China and were 3 when they moved here, Aiden loved them more than anything in the world. 

“I love you two” Aiden kissed both of their heads, “be good for me at school, okay?” 

“Yes, Daddy,” Haoran mumbled into Aiden’s neck before pulling away to go stand with Lambert, Zihan stayed hugging Aiden, not saying anything. 

“Zihan, let’s go, school time.”

* * *

Coen flopped down on the bed, covered in sweat from the sex he just had, he rolled over getting the pack of cigarettes off his end table. He placed one in his mouth before feeling a hand messing up his hair. 

“You’re going to be late for work if you don’t hurry,” Vicky’s voice echoed behind him as he lit his cigarette puffing smoke into the air. 

“Mhmm, probably right,” Coen rolled back over, seeing her just as sweaty as he was, “Shower?” 

“Nah, I’m going to sleep, I have the night shift again” Vicky covered herself with the sheets, “You staying at my apartment tonight?” 

Coen sat up, blowing smoke into the air, the two of them still didn’t live with each other because Coen still wasn’t ready but they still had a good relationship besides that little flaw. 

“Yup, I’ll be waiting for you when you get home,” Coen smiled, leaning down to give her a kiss, just before standing up and walking to the bathroom down the hall. Coen worked as a counsellor at one of the schools mostly for LGBTQ youth, he ran an after school program for the whole district and it had really been helping the kids feel safer in the community which is all Coen really wanted. 

After his shower, he brushed his teeth and added eye drops in his eyes to hopefully minimize the redness in his eyes. The doctors still couldn’t pinpoint what caused it but he started to worry about it when his boss thought he was high all the time. 

Coen grabbed his phone off the counter, Seeing a message from Eskel, 

_ From: Eskel _

_ Hey, wanna get lunch today?  _

_ Seen at 7:32 AM _

_ From: Coen _

_ Sure, Geralt will be at the hospital with Aiden around that time, maybe ask them if they want to join? _

_ Seen at 7:35 AM _

Eskel worked at the hospital a lot, he honestly overworked himself more than anyone in the group. He even beat Geralt to the plate 99% of the time which is really hard to beat. Coen was surprised that all of them were still friends. He was so used to hearing people drift apart after college but they didn’t, they were like family at this point. 

A better family than most of them had when they were kids. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't think you were expecting that time skip huh?   
> The story was going to end in the last chapter but I wanted to give an epilogue just to wrap things up, so the next 6 chapters will be what their lives turned out to be! hope you enjoy <3   
> P.S the start of the chapter is from the Blood of elves book in case you were wondering.


	46. Chapter 46

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning: Talk of past Ab*se.

Eskel sat down in his office, running his fingers through his hair, as he typed out notes from his last patient before he went off to lunch or what is dinner at this point? He let out a big sigh before he had a knock on his door. 

“Eskel, the files you asked for,” A young lady walked in and dropped the files on his messy desk. 

“Thank you, Sherry, do you know what time it is?” Eskel rubbed his eye. 

“Almost noon,” Sherry tilted her “Why?” 

“Shit,” Eskel stood up, “Shit, I’m going to lunch” 

Sherry smiled, “Late again I see?” 

Eskel didn’t even say anything before he raced out of the clinic, he worked at an outpatient clinic in the hospital honestly he should just live here at this point. Priscilla and he then broke up a year after he started working here, she hated that he chose his work over her. 

He raced down the corridors trying to get to the cafeteria, he hoped that he wasn’t too late with meeting up with the guys. He slid into the table where they were sitting, “Fuck sorry,” He panted trying to catch his breath, “Paperwork.” 

“It’s fine we're used to it,” Coen shrugged, taking a drink with his soda. Geralt was holding his daughter in his arms who was fast asleep. 

“All good,” Geralt hummed, “Aiden is still at his appointment but he will join after.” 

“Sweet, I’m going to go g---” Eskel was cut off by someone sliding beside him.

“Give me the baby” She cooed in a hushed voice at Geralt, Yennefer nearly tackled Geralt every time he visited the hospital with Klaudia. She had moved to Ottawa for the surgical residency program and she and Geralt had patched things up along the way. 

Geralt carefully handed her the baby, “I just got her down so please be careful” 

“Don’t you worry,” Yennefer smiled down at her; eyes filled with wonder at the tiny life in her arms. Yennefer was so good with children but did not want to have one of her own. Eskel should at some point explain to the guys that he and Yennefer had been sleeping with each other in secret for nearly a year now.

“I’m going to get some food, I’ll be back” Eskel placed his hand on the small of Yennefer's back just for a second as he walked by her, causing her to look at him with a smile. 

When Eskel came back with his food, Yen was sitting down now with the baby in her arms just enjoying her so much.

“How’s the book coming along?” Coen asked Geralt before taking a giant bite out of the burger in his hands. 

“Alright, but still in early writing,” Geralt fixed his glasses, to be honest Geralt looked like one of those hipster dads, the man bun and everything. 

“Still haven’t read your last one,” Eskel groaned, “I never have time to read.” 

“That’s because you don’t make time for it,” Coen laughed, “You would have time if you didn’t work so much.” 

“My job is important to me,” Eskel rolled his eyes while taking a bite of his sandwich. His stomach turned into a knot just by the taste of it, he must have really been hungry. When was the last time he ate? 

“Amen to that,” Yennefer gently rocked Klaudia in her arms, 

“To think you actually used to be fun,” Coen poked fun at Eskel, which he ignored. The only ones that approved him working so much were Yennefer and Lambert only because they understood what it was about. 

Aiden finally came into view and looked like total shit, he looked so exhausted, Eskel hadn’t seen him in a few weeks and the change in him was so crazy. Aiden sat down slowly looking like he was in pain but didn’t make a sound. 

“You okay buddy?” Coen asked, 

“Don’t, I have Lambert on my case enough already,” Aiden leaned his chin on his hand. “It’s gotten to the point where I might kill him.” 

“He just gives a shit about you,” Eskel took another bite of his sandwich which seemed to make his stomach angrier than happy at this point. 

“I know, I know,” Aiden sighed, 

“To be fair, none of you have anything to worry about he’s got nearly 100% survival rate,” Yennefer stated in a baby voice as she looked down at Klaudia. 

“See!” Aiden gestured to Yennefer with excitement “She’s a doctor!” 

“In training,” Geralt corrected, taking a drink of his coffee, “Anyway, how are your boys taking this?” 

“Not well, Zihan is taking it the hardest, he doesn’t like that I sleep all the time,” Aiden sighed, “I feel like I’m going to fuck them up.” 

Eskel shook his head, “No, don’t think like that,” 

“You’re there for them as much as you can be that’s all you can do,” Geralt added, trying to reassure Aiden even just a little bit. 

Yennefer’s pager went off, “Oh shit,” She quickly handed off Klaudia back to Geralt, “I gotta go, thank you for the baby cuddles Geralt.” 

“Anytime,” Geralt smiled at her, holding his daughter close against his chest. Just before Yennefer ran off she mouthed to Eskel _‘Meet me in the on-call room later’_ then ran off full speed out of the room. 

“What was that?” Coen asked, wiggling his eyebrows at Eskel like some teenager. 

“Nothing,” Eskel shoved his sandwich into his face trying to stop himself from spilling the beans. He liked what he and Yennefer had, it was easy and they understood each other’s needs.

“Your lying, your eye twitches when you lie,” Aiden narrowed his eyes at him, god they had been friends for too long. 

“I’m not, stop it” Eskel frowned, “We just work together, well around each other, well rarely if at all,” 

“Yup, he’s hiding something,” Coen nodded, getting everyone else nodding at the table in agreement. They all knew him so well, but he wasn’t going to say shit, he didn’t want them to make a big deal out of it like they always did. 

“Stop it,” Eskel sighed, the fact they were all adults in adult jobs and still acted like college students was mind-boggling. “How’s Priscilla?” He looked over at Geralt since he probably saw her more than everyone. Eskel still cared about her, a lot but they grew apart, 

“Good, She’s already back on tour,” Geralt rocked his daughter in his arms, Priscilla started an all-girls band called the Forgotten Princess with Renfri. He honestly always forgot about that…

“You guys are still not speaking?” Coen asked, taking a drink of soda again trying to wash down the food he barely chewed. 

“Hm, yeah,” Eskel abandoned his food and just took a long drink of coffee, “Really fucked that up.” 

“Should have taken Lambert’s advice,” Aiden shrugged, Lambert managed to hold down crazy hours, have kids and a happy marriage all in one shot. Unfortunately, not everyone is a powerhouse of a human being. 

Eskel rolled his eyes, “I’m not like Lambert.”

  
  


*** * ***

Lambert was sitting in the police car eating his lunch, watching, he had been trailing his father on his breaks for the last month. Not in case he fucks up but just to see how he was now. The man never tried to get a hold of him when he got out of prison, not even when he finished his parole. 

“Aren’t tired of watching your old man?” Lambert’s partner, Trinity asked, the two of them had been partners since he got on the force. 

“No,” Lambert sucked soda out of the cup through the straw, he looked over at her, seeing her brown eyes burning a hole through his face. “What?” 

“We have been doing this every day this month, I’m tired of looking at his stupid face,” Trinity sighed, “The man started a new life get over it.” 

Lambert let out a big sigh and leaned on his steering wheel, “I don’t tell me to get over it, you weren’t fucking there.” Lambert watched his father talking to his new wife, who had two children of her own. Lambert wondered what it was like in that house, did he beat her too?

“You know sometimes the prison system works for people,” Trinity crumbled her burger wrapper in her hands throwing it into the bag in the centre console. “Does your husband know that you do this?” 

“No, why would I tell him that I fucking stalk my dad?” Lambert frowned, “He’s got enough shit on his plate.” 

“Fair enough, but maybe talking to him will help with whatever this is” Trinity suggested, “Because it isn’t normal.” 

Lambert looked over at her, maybe she was right, Lambert honestly didn’t even remember why he was doing this. He got over the anger his father had left behind but something always drew him back to the asshole. 

“Maybe you're right,” Lambert nodded, placing it cup back into the cupholder.

“I’m always right.” Trinity shrugged, “Now breaks over, let’s get back to work.” 

  
  


* * *

Renfri laying on the bunk bed in the bus they used for the tours, they had been doing well for themselves, getting a good following. Meeting Priscilla was one of the best things that could have happened to her, she helped her get her life back and Renfri was now 10 years sober. Something she never thought she could do. Her thoughts were broken up by the sound of her phone, which was just Lambert giving her an update.

From: Brother

Still the same old shit.

Seen at 1: 32 PM

From: Renfri

How did the wife look?

Seen at 1:34 Pm

From: Brother

Fine, I think it’s best I stop doing this.

Seen at 1:35 PM

Renfri shot up in her bed nearly hitting her head off the ceiling, Lambert couldn’t stop what if he was hurting them? He’s in the perfect spot to make sure it doesn’t happen again. 

From: Renfri

Fuck, Lambert NO, We need this.

Sent

Dead air, fuck, just because he got over his shit doesn’t mean he doesn’t need to be stalking him. He was doing the right thing making sure the fucker didn’t do anything else to anyone. 

“You okay?” Priscilla walked back into the bus, holding cold drinks in her arms. 

“Yeah, Lambert is being a fucking little bitch,” Renfri jumped down from her bunk, walking up to give her a hand. 

Priscilla smiled, amused by her potty mouth probably, “Thanks.”

“Anytime,” Renfri smiled at her, honestly she was in love with her, even though there was no way that it would happen. 

“The other’s are just finishing eating so we can get back on the road,” Priscilla stated, placing some of the drinks in their mini-fridge. She looked good, even after giving birth not that all ago. Priscilla complained that she was never going to lose the weight she gained and it was unfair her brother didn’t gain anything, but Renfri thought she looked more beautiful than ever.

“What?” Priscilla looked up at her, probably noticing she was staring. 

“Nothing,” Renfri looked away blushing hard, boy this was going to be a long month. 


	47. Chapter 47

Jaskier flipped through the script that was in his lap, he was the Director for this play called Faith. It was the first play he was Director by himself and he was losing his shit even though he didn’t show it. If this turned out like crap he could never get the chance to try to do it again. 

“Try it again, I feel like you could put more into the line,” Jaskier stood up out of his chair script in hand. He was doing blocking for act 1 with just the lead actor tonight. Jaskier stepped right beside him, mirroring the actor’s stance that they had been working on, 

“You know I can’t do that, Pop. It would be a lie. I’d be pretending to be somebody I’m not.” Jaskier showed him the emotion that he would feel in the line, letting his voice crack near the end. Jaskier related to the line, even if the play's unlying topic was different, it was like talking to his father again. Even though he hadn’t seen him in years it still burned.

“Did you see what I did there? I want people to hear the pain, feel it in your voice Philip. Like, picture someone not accepting you for who you are.” 

Philip nodded, taking in everything he was saying, “Okay, let me try again”

Jaskier stepped back, watching the actor do the lines again, better but not perfect before another voice called behind him. 

“Jaskier! It’s 7:30” Triss threw a jacket at him, which just fell dramatically to the floor. She was dressed in clothes that were covered in paint, she did most of the set design for the theatre so this was a normal look for her.

“7:30? Triss I’m busy with the star of the show,” Jaskier frowned at her, confused why that time was important, did he forget about something again? 

“You can finish up with him tomorrow, you have to go,” Triss walked to him with her hands on her hips in a huff. 

“I wasn’t talking about him, I was talking about me,” Jaskier jokes, but Philip looked like he took it personally. 

Triss snorted, “Jaskier, you promised Ger you would be home by 8!” She picked up the jacket again and placed it on Jaskier’s shoulders, he totally forgot that he promised that he had been working late the last few nights this week so he wanted to make it up to him. 

Philip looked confused but closed up his script in hand. “I guess that’s it for tonight?” Philip asked, “Keeping your partner waiting is never a good idea.”

“We will pick up tomorrow morning when everyone is here,” Jaskier slipped his arms through his jacket, “Thank you Triss.” Jaskier kisses her cheek before booking it backstage to get to his car. He should probably pick up flowers since he was probably going to be late. 

  
  


*** * ***

Geralt placed a plate into the dishwasher trying to get it packed and ready to run, Ciri was doing her homework in silence at the dinner table. Geralt did most of the housework as of late since Jaskier spent a lot of time at the theatre which didn’t bug Geralt all that much. He was proud of how far Jaskier had come in his career. 

“I’m home! I’m sorry!” Jaskier’s voice called from the door, Geralt smiled, seeing Jaskier walking in with flowers in hand. 

“Really?” Geralt snorted, “You didn’t have too.”

“I did, I’m late by…” Jaskier looked at his Apple watch on his wrist “by 10 minutes.” 

Geralt walked up to Jaskier and gave him a kiss before grabbing the flowers from him. They were just a mix of different types of flowers that he probably just picked up at Walmart since most flower shops were closed by now. 

“Ew,” Ciri mumbled, frowning up from her books, “Get a room.” Jaskier stuck his tongue out at her, making Ciri wrinkle her nose back at him.

“How’s Aiden?” Jaskier took off his jacket placing it on the kitchen chair, 

“Hard to tell, he won’t talk about it,” Geralt grabbed a vase out of the cabinet filling it with water. 

“He’s a trouper,” Jaskier smiled, “Is she in bed?” 

“Yeah, she just went down,” Geralt placed the flowers into the water and placed it on the kitchen table. Ciri smiled, already leaning in to smell them, she honestly loved getting flowers more than Geralt did. 

Jaskier had already disappeared down the hall, probably to go see Klaudia sleeping peacefully, which surprisingly didn’t spark Roach to bark. Geralt placed Jaskier’s dinner plate on the table, uncovering it for when he got back. 

“Remember not to make any plans with your friends this weekend,” Geralt reminded Ciri, “We have dinner at Lambert’s on Sunday.” 

“Right,” Ciri nodded, sitting back into her chair “looking forward to it,” her voice was dripping with sarcasm. 

“I thought you liked your brother?” Geralt narrowed his eyes at her, 

“I do,” Ciri sighed, “I just can’t handle seeing…” 

“Aiden sick?” Geralt sat down beside her, placing his hand on top of hers, “It’s hard on all of us but we have to be hopeful.” 

Jaskier came back into the room, his smile fading when he saw the face on Ciri’s. “You okay kiddo?” 

“Hm, Yeah, Just, I’m going to finish my homework in my room,” Ciri gathered her books and disappeared down the hall, sometimes Geralt felt like he was failing her. 

“What happened?” Jaskier sat down at the kitchen table, looking confused about how fast she changed. 

“I reminded her about Dinner this weekend…”

  
  


*** * ***

“One more story daddy!” Haoran cried as Aiden tucked the blanket around him. “PLeaaaase” 

“No you need to sleep, it’s late” Aiden was so tired that his arms were like lead, it hurt to move any of his limbs without waves of exhaustion hitting him. Right after treatment was always harder for him. 

“Please,” Zihan softly asked from the bed across the room, Aiden smiled after kissing Haoran’s forehead just before moving to Zihan’s bed to tuck him in tight. 

“I’ll do two stories tomorrow” Aiden kissed the top of his head, “Daddy is just really tired.” Zihan’s brown eyes filled with sadness with those words, literally breaking his heart in pieces. 

Aiden turned off their light, “Goodnight,” he closed the door behind himself, he felt like shit. Aiden wished he could do more for the boys to make them feel better, safer but he had no energy. Aiden used the wall to guide himself to his room only getting about halfway before sliding down the wall to sit on the floor. Sitting in itself was painful, the pressure made the cramping worse but he was too exhausted to move. 

He closed his eyes, feeling waves of numbness hit him, his body thankful it finally stopped moving, finally closed his eyes. He could have fallen asleep there if the hard overwhelming feeling to pee didn’t hit him suddenly. Why did everything need to hit him at once? 

“Fuck…” Aiden whispered he cracked his eyes open to look at the time on his watch. Lambert should be home soon if he wasn’t running late, maybe if he just waited he could get some help. 

He pushed that thought to the back of his mind, he hated it when Lambert saw him this way. Aiden decided to just crawl to his bedroom, as stupid as it was, it worked. By the time he got to the bathroom in his bedroom the front to the house slammed shut. 

Aiden kicked the door closed with his foot, using the counter to help himself up to his feet. Just that short way really was a fucking work out for him, when he stood in front of the toilet he noticed his body kind of already had done the job for him. He didn’t full-on piss himself but there was enough leakage to have caused it to soak through his sweatpants. 

“Jesus fuck!” Aiden groaned, before doing his business then collapsing back on the floor. Should he take a shower or just lazily wash up? 

“Aiden?” Lambert’s voice called from outside the door, great the last thing he needed was Lambert coming in here. Did he lock the door? “You okay in there Princess?” 

Aiden smiled at that stupid nickname Lambert used, it started off as a joke in college then just stuck through their whole relationship. “I’m fine” Aiden called back, but he guessed that answer wasn’t good enough because he opened the door. Still in uniform, which honestly hugged his frame in all the right places. 

“Ah, No, Lambert,” Aiden sighed, “I said it was fine.” 

“When you say you’re fine it normally means your fucking not” Lambert walked over, “Did you eat today?” 

“Yes, I’m just tired, and covered in my own piss,” Aiden pushed on Lambert’s leg to get him to leave, “now get out.” 

Lambert didn’t say anything, he just auto-pilot walked over to the bathtub and started running Aiden bath. “I’ll get you a change of clothes,” 

“Lambert, you don’t hav---” Aiden was cut off by Lambert’s deadpan stare at him just before he walked out of the room to grab Aiden’s clothes. 

Aiden hated every time Lambert saw him like this, weak and broken. By the time Lambert got back, the bath was full enough to turn off the water, so Lambert helped Aiden up and sat him down on the edge of the tub. Helping him take off his clothes, which made Aiden feel worse about himself. 

By the time Lambert had Aiden’s pant halfway off, Aiden was fulling on sobbing, he felt so low and down on himself that he couldn’t fucking do this himself. 

“Hey,” Lambert cupped Aiden’s face, “What’s wrong?” 

“I don’t...Want you to see me like this,” Aiden tried to push Lambert away but was way too tired to make any big impact. 

“Aiden, remember when I got so depressed after my dad got let out of prison?” Lambert asked, “And you had to hold me up in the shower to help me clean myself?” 

Aiden nodded, it was probably one of those make or break parts of their relationship. Lambert was so out of it, wouldn’t get out of bed unless it was to take a piss. 

“Just think about this as me returning the favour,” Lambert kissed Aiden on the lips, he tasted like Coffee and smoke, why was he having coffee so late at night? 

Lambert helped Aiden into the bath, the water was warm but not overly hot. It felt really nice on his raw skin, “You going to join me? Or just sit on the floor like a weirdo?” 

Lambert smiled, “Let me just put my gun in the safe first.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is late!


	48. Chapter 48

Geralt woke up to Jaskier kissing him, the taste of toothpaste on his breath as he flicked his tongue into his mouth. Geralt cracked open one of his eyes and saw a very blurry Jaskier on top of him. 

Jaskier had been waking him up like this since the holidays started, it was a few days before Christmas which was a big deal in this family of friends. Geralt kissed Jaskier back, humming into it enjoying the few moments of peace before their daughters woke up. 

Jaskier pulled away smiling down at him, “Good morning” Jaskier purred just before leaning down to kiss Geralt’s neck making a light gasp escape his lips. 

“Someone is horny this morning,” Geralt chuckled, moving his head slightly so Jaskier had more room to kiss. 

“Hmm, well we hadn’t had much time for this since our little Jelly bean has been born,” Jaskier mumbled his Geralt’s neck before licking down to his chest. Heat rushed down to his groin in anticipation, Jaskier flicked his tongue around Geralt’s nipple making Geralt moan and grab ahold of his hair. Feeling the softness of Jaskier’s chestnut locks. 

Of course, their little sex bubble was popped the moment the cries of the baby echoed from their baby monitor. Geralt groaned, “So much for that.” 

Jaskier's eyes looked over at the screen that showed Klaudia’s room, “Rock, paper scissors?” He asked dead serious Geralt might add. It was their thing if Klaudia cried and forced them apart they would do this. The winner got to masturbate and the loser aided Jelly bean, Geralt honestly always lost. 

Geralt sighed, “Yup,” the two of them got into their positions, Geralt was going to win for once this time. 

“One, two, three..” Jaskier counted and once he hit three the two of them picked their stances, Geralt doing his strong rock game but Jaskier picking paper knowing 100% what Geralt was going to pick rock. 

“Fuck off,” Geralt frowned, getting wild laughter from Jaskier as he rolled off of him. His husband even though being almost 30 years old was still a total man child. 

“I’ll make it up to you at nap time,” Jaskier smirked, as he pushed Geralt out of the bed. 

Geralt sighed and sat up, sliding his glasses onto his face. Finally, the blurred shapes were crisp and clean. “You better,” Geralt stood up, grabbing his robe off the door and sliding it on. “Have fun,” Geralt frowned at Jaskier who looked so amused with all of this. 

“Oh, you know I will,” Jaskier blew him a kiss making him a totally sore winner. Geralt walked out of the room and went into Klaudia’s room, seeing Roach standing on her hind legs looking into the crib. The moment she saw Geralt she barked at him. 

“Yeah, I know, I can hear her” Geralt walked up beside Roach, looking down at Klaudia rolling around as she cried. She had turned 4 months a few days ago, it was crazy how fast she was growing. Geralt picked her up and balanced her on his hip but still gave her head some support with his other hand since she was still really wiggly. Her crying died down a little but she was still super grumpy. 

“I feel you jelly bean,” Geralt kissed her forehead before following Roach into the kitchen. “I’m going to give you a little piece of advice,” Geralt mumbled to Klaudia who had her hand in her mouth, tears still in her eyes. 

“Don’t start something you can’t finish,” Geralt tickled her tummy, getting a glowing smile just as beautiful as Jaskier’s. “Especially if another person is involved” of course she had no idea what he was talking about but talking out loud to someone helped him. Geralt did it with Roach all the time, he really wasn’t looking forward to Klaudia being able to talk. 

  
  


*** * ***

Coen stared at Eskel across the table dumbfounded, “Does Geralt know?” 

“No,” Eskel flicked his ashes off the side of the railing of Coen’s apartment balcony. 

“Well, she does look good in scrubs” Coen shrugged, still confused how Yen and Eskel ended up sleeping together. They just seemed like a very unlikely pair, Coen really hadn’t gotten over her using him to get to Geralt even if it was over ten years ago. He mostly put up with her for everyone else’s benefit, 

Eskel smiled, before taking a long drag off his cigarette, “Yeah, she does.”   
“How did that even happen? The two of you don’t really work together” Coen blew smoke out of his nose, “You also didn’t really get along with her.” 

“Well, one of my patients got hospitalized, Yennefer was working under the surgeon who fixed the internal bleeding at the time.” Eskel swallowed hard, “I don’t know we kind of bonded over that, we started eating lunch together. She’s a lot more than she puts out there you know?” 

“So she’s not a crazy bitch deep down?” Coen chuckled, getting a pretty annoyed look from Eskel. 

“She’s not who she was 10 years ago, Coen” Eskel shook his head, “You really need to go to therapy like the rest of us, it would do you some good.” 

“Who needs that when one of your best friends is a therapist,” Coen flicked ashes over the side, looking back at his screen door seeing Vicky laying on the bed typing away at her laptop. She had told him the same thing, but mostly by putting research papers about how good it is all over his apartment. 

“It’s not the same because you never take me seriously” Eskel put out a cigarette on the railing “I can set you up with an appointment with one of my co-workers that I think would be great for you.”

“I’m fine,” Coen sighed, “I’m not your next pet project, I’m not Geralt” 

“Geralt was never my Pet Project, he did everything himself, the same way I went to CoDa for my codependency issue.” Eskel sighed, “You have to do this for yourself so you can move the fuck on, your 30 years old now Coen, you have no excuse now.” 

Coen stared at him, it seemed like most of the time they spent time alone Eskel would bring this up. Trying to pressure him to get help or deal with his problems. 

*** * ***

Lambert walked in the living room with two coffee cups in hand, as a family they had set up the Christmas tree in blacks and silver since it went with your home a little better. Aiden was napping on the couch, in a little blanket nest, he made himself. 

Lambert had been on paid sick leave from work for over a month now since he couldn’t stand leaving Aiden alone. He had his last treatment at the start of the month, the doctor was hopeful that they were done with radiation and he would be in remission. They were going to find out after the holiday’s, Lambert honestly was getting pretty itchy waiting. 

Lambert placed the coffee down on the coffee table, before leaning down to kiss the top of Aiden’s head. 

“Hm...What time is it?” Aiden cracked open one of his golden eyes to look up at Lambert. 

“2 in the afternoon, Renfri and Elijah took the boys sledding” Lambert sat down on the floor taking a drink of his coffee. 

“Aww, I’m missing it,” Aiden groaned as he sat up, Lambert felt bad for him, sledding was his favourite part of the holidays. 

“They didn’t want to wake you,” Lambert handed Aiden the coffee he made him. “There will be another time, maybe we could go tomorrow.” 

Aiden blew on the hot steam before taking a drink and letting out a deep sigh. “Yeah, maybe we can” 

Lambert watched Aiden lean back into the couch taking small sips of coffee as he slowly woke up. He looked disappointed in himself, which he shouldn’t be. None of this was in Adien’s control. 

“Hey,” Lambert rested his hand on Aiden’s lap giving his leg a squeeze through the blankets. “The kids understand, you just have to worry about getting better.” 

Aiden placed a hand on top of Lamberts just before smiling down at their wedding bands, “When did you get so sweet?” 

Lambert smirked, “We have been married for 8 fucking years and you still think I can’t be sweet?” Lambert placed his mug on the coffee table before getting on the couch with Aiden. Aiden moved his hand on to the locket he still wore around his neck, he loved that old thing. 

“Eh, you have your moments, every rare moment” Aiden chuckled, Lambert, leaned in and kissed Aiden, cupping the side of his face with his hand. Tasting the fresh coffee on his lips as Aiden opened his mouth slightly as an invitation for Lambert to deepen it. Lambert grabbed the mug from Aiden and placed it behind him on the end table, crawling on top of Aiden, deepening the kiss. 

It was very rare they shared moments like this since he got sick, Lambert treasured them in case they were their last. Aiden pulled the blankets out from between them, pulling Lambert closer, their hips rubbing against each other. Aiden’s frame was much thinner, most of his muscle mass had been lost. Which always made Lambert sad.

Aiden groaned under Lambert and pushed him back, Lambert looked at him confused “you okay?” 

“I hate to be that guy but I need to know if this is leading to sex,” Aiden frowned, “Because I’m not spending an hour with you trying to get me hard.” Out of all of Aiden’s radiation and cancer side effects, erectile dysfunction was the one that annoyed Aiden the most. Lambert didn’t overly mind; he was okay with just making out like teenagers, but Aiden always wanted more.

“Wow, don’t want to spend time with me?” Lambert snorted, 

“No, No I do, there is just...something the doctor gave me…” Aiden looked embarrassed “He said it was going to help…” 

“Are you talking about what I think you’re talking about?” Lambert raised an eyebrow at him. 

“Yes?” 

Lambert got off Aiden, “Alright then, let’s go upstairs”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like I gave myself too many chapters to wrap this up, so here is a fluff chapter before we start really getting to the end of this <3   
> Ps. I might not be uploading tomorrow since I have a big essay due in a few days.


	49. Chapter 49

Christmas Eve, Jaskier was overly excited about today, it was Klaudia’s first Christmas. Jaskier had been singing Christmas carols to her for a week which she loved, she would smile so brightly. What was she going to wear today for the dinner at Aiden and Lambert’s? Maybe he should focus on the sex he was having.

Jaskier was riding Geralt, hard and fast they two of them were hot and sweaty as they rocked into each other. “What do you think Klaudia should wear?” Jaskier moaned out, getting an odd look from Geralt. “There is that cute red dress that Priscilla got her or we could put her in that pink tux.” Jaskier gets with an overwhelming wave of pleasure, moaning out as he arched his back. 

“Can you focus?” Geralt grunted as he thrusted deep into Jaskier forcing another wave of pleasure through him as Geralt hit that perfect spot. 

Jaskier braced himself on the headboard, “This is Jelly Bean’s first Christmas, this is important.” Jaskier moaned as he dropped back down, his skin slapping against Geralt’s. 

“Jaskier, we have a short window of time so focus” Geralt swiftly flipped Jaskier onto his back, taking the lead in the dance. He thrusted deep into Jaskier, moving his husband’s legs over his shoulders. 

“Ug-- Do you think Lambert is going to dress his boys up?” Jaskier moaned out as Geralt thrusted into his prostate again making him so close to the edge. 

“Jaskier, I love you but you need to shut up,” Geralt put fingers into his Jaskier’s mouth to quiet him down. Jaskier tasted the sweat on his fingers, the salty flavour, he sucked on his husband’s fingers moaning deeply as Geralt quickened his pace. Jaskier grabbed a hold of his erection in hand and stroked himself at the same pace as Geralt’s thrusts. 

“Fuck- I’m going---” Geralt thrusted hard into Jaskier filling him up with hot cum. Jaskier was close but wasn’t close enough, he continued working himself as Geralt caught his breath. 

“Sorry, you should have been more focused” Geralt removed his fingers out of his husband’s mouth. 

Jaskier smiled up at him, “finish me off then.” he gasped out when Geralt slowly removed himself, leaving emptiness behind. “Come on, get to work, Darling” Jaskier bit his lip watching Geralt lower down and take Jaskier’s cock in his mouth. Jaskier gasped feeling the warm, wetness of Geralt’s mouth, he would never get over how amazing Geralt was. 

“You are amazing,” Jaskier grabbed ahold of Geralt’s thick beautiful ashen hair, Jaskier wouldn’t know what to do if he cut it. Geralt spiralled his tongue up and down Jaskier’s cock causing him to shake with pleasure so close to the edge. 

The moment he came into Geralt’s mouth, Klaudia’s cries could be heard echoing off the walls. Great timing. 

Geralt swallowed the load that Jaskier gifted him, pulling off with a smile on his face. “Perfect timing,” Geralt cuddled up to Jaskier, their bodies sticking with sweat. “Was that good?” 

“Hmm, amazing,” Jaskier kissed the top of Geralt’s head, running his fingers through his hair “Now, about Klaudia’s outfit did you think about it?” 

“Ughhh, Jaskier, whatever you want” Geralt groaned, “That’s your department, She could be wearing a trash bag for all I care.” 

Jaskier gasped, “No, that’s a crime, she is too cute for that!” Jaskier sat up quickly, frowning at Geralt. 

“Well, then you better go dress her before I get the strength to get up” Geralt chuckled, which made Jaskier jump out of bed, wrapping himself in the silk taking off down the hall. Like hell, he was going to dress her in a trash bag, over Jaskier’s dead body. 

The moment he opened the door, he saw Roach was her nose in between the bars of the crib. “Good morning Roach,” Jaskier walked up to her giving her head a little itch. He and Roach had gotten along better over the years, she was no longer jealous of him and loved it when he sang. 

Jaskier looked into the crib seeing Klaudia rolling around, she wasn’t crying too hard and smiled the moment she saw Jaskier. She was getting a lot more hair, which was the same colour as Geralt’s beautiful locks. “Merry Christmas baby bean” Jaskier scooped her giving her loads of kisses all over her face making her giggle uncontrollably. 

“Also, you bite your daddy if he tries to put you in a trash bag dress” Jaskier wrinkled his nose at her, “you bite him hard.” 

  
  


*** * ***

Renfri rolled over in bed, seeing Priscilla passed out beside her in the sea of blankets. Priscilla moved in with her when she broke it off with Eskel, which was the best thing that ever happened to Priscilla, he held her back in so many ways. 

They slept in the same bed even though they weren’t dating or sleeping together, Renfri enjoyed not having an empty space beside her. She was so beautiful, with pink and blue highlights in her hair that were fading, the way she smiled in her sleep. What was she dreaming about? 

“Are you watching me sleep?” Priscilla’s voice sounded rough as she was just waking up, her eyes slowly opening showcasing the beautiful blue.

“No,” Renfri sat up getting out of the bed as fast as she could, Priscilla must have had some idea about Renfri’s feelings since she liked to tease her more and more about it. 

Priscilla rolled onto her back yawning loudly, “It’s okay, I know I’m pretty.” 

Renfri could agree with that, “I promised Lambert I’d help with cooking so I’m going to get ready to go.” 

“I wanna come,” Priscilla sat up, her boobs looking perfect in her tank top. 

“Uh, You sure you want to spend time with me and my Brother swearing at each other?” Renfri grabbed her pair of jeans off the floor and slid them on. 

“If it means spending time with you” Priscilla winked at her, causing her friend's face to flush red. Renfri nodded at her, grabbing a fresh shirt out of one of her drawers. She wanted to just tell her but the fear of her not feeling the same was just too much. She wondered if Aiden felt the same way before he and Lambert got together? Since Lambert was such a straight boy

Priscilla hopped out of bed, pulling some clothes out of the closet she took over. “UGH I can’t wait to see Klaudia and mush her little face” She sang, ripping off her tank top without warning. She was very comfortable with herself and Renfri wasn’t... pretty was Priscilla’s thing but being strong was Renfri’s thing. 

Maybe she should talk to Jaskier about weather asking her out was a good idea.

  
  


*** * ***

This was the only time of year Eskel took time off because it was important to Vesemir. This was just his favourite time of year and he wanted to continue doing it even though he had passed on. 

Eskel ran his finger down Yennefer’s frame though the white sheets of the on-call room. Eskel had spent the night at the hospital since Yennefer had been on call all night. Even though they had been sleeping with each other for over a year they had never been a real date which didn’t bug him, it just made him think about how disappointed Priscilla would be in him if she knew. 

Yennefer rolled over, her makeup from the night before still flawlessly on. He never understood how she managed that. “Morning,” She smiled at him, placing her hand on his chest playing in his chest hair. 

“Merry Christmas,” Eskel kissed her lips, hearing her humming into it. “That’s what day it is?” Yennefer sat up keeping the sheet up to cover herself up. “Shit, my parents are going to kill me.” 

Eskel looked at her weird “What do you mean? Don’t they know you’re a doctor?” 

“Yeah, I just skipped Christmas last year too…” Yennefer pushed her hair before her ear looking sad that she had forgotten. 

“You can come to my family dinner,” Eskel propped himself up on his elbow staring up at her with such fondness. 

“Your sweet but it’s okay,” Yennefer crawled over him out of the bunk bed getting dressed back up in her scrubs. “No one knows about us and I feel like that is a bad way to tell them.” 

“I told Coen…” Eskel sat up, 

“Oh…” Yennefer looked at him, “And?”   
Eskel shrugged in response, some times he wasn’t good with words even though that was his job. 

“Yeah, Figured that’s how that would go,” Yennefer leaned down and kissed him, “I’m going to go home.” 

Eskel grabbed her hips so she couldn’t walk away from him, “Think about it.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is short but the next one will be longer.


	50. Chapter 50

Lambert and his sister had been in the kitchen for a few hours getting everything ready for dinner. Priscilla also helped when she wasn’t goofing around with Renfri making her dance and laugh. Lambert grew fond of Priscilla because of how much she aided Renfri and for how much she could make her smile. Lambert knew they were just friends but sometimes he thought they were more than that. 

Priscilla splashed some water at Lambert from the sink which he did nothing, he wasn’t going to encourage her to show bad behaviour when the boys were in the next room. 

“Your no fun,” Priscila frowned, 

“He’s never been fun,” Renfri laughed as she peeled potatoes for one of their side dishes. 

“I’m fun, I’m just not fucking childish” Lambert sighed, he wiped the water off his face with a rag. “How was your last tour? Renfri never really talks about herself” Lambert changed the subject in hopes they would stop horsing around. 

“Good, We sold out in a couple of places,” Priscilla smiled wide with pride. “I started writing music for our next album too.” 

“It’s getting to the point we might need more than just Zoltan as security” Renfri chuckled, Lambert was proud of her, even though he would never say it to her he was. 

“Zoltan is pretty good at his job though” Priscilla snorted. Lambert hadn’t met him but had heard stories about how scary he could be if anyone touched the girl. Jaskier was the one that set him up with the job and it seems like it was a good match. 

“Just remember your safety is important so if you need more people to let me know, I know a guy” Lambert rested his hand on Renfri’s shoulder, he just got a relationship with her so he wasn’t going to let anyone take that away from him. 

“You sound like the mafia” Renfri looked up at him frowning, 

“I’m a cop, we have been over this” Lambert squeezed her shoulder playfully “Anyway, are you two able to hold down the fort? I’m going to wake Aiden up since people will be here soon.” 

“Yes sir!” Priscilla cried as Lambert walked out of the room, his two kids calmly playing with some toys together in the living room. They had been so good today which had been a blessing. 

He made his way upstairs to his and Aiden’s bedroom, opening the door to seeing Aiden laying on his stomach with the blankets half off of him. Aiden had spent more of the day sleeping so he had the energy to be social with everyone later today. 

Lambert walked up to the side of the bed sitting down on the edge of it, watching Aiden sleep peacefully. Aiden had been getting better, he was eating more and sleeping less but a part of Lambert was still terrified that he would leave him alone in this world. 

Even though the doctors told them the numbers time and time again that there was a nearly 100% chance he would be fine and cancer-free. There was that part of doubt in Lambert since life always dealt him a bad hand. 

Lambert laid down beside Aiden, running his fingers through his curls, feeling how soft his hair was. Lambert kept telling himself Aiden was going to be fine, he was already showing signs that he was fine, why was he still worrying?

Aiden stirred in his sleep, stretching his arm out to search for Lambert, he curled up to him placing his head on Lambert’s chest. Humming into his Lambert’s shirt, Lambert loved it when his Husband did this after naps or just before bed. 

“Good afternoon, Princess” Lambert kissed the top of Aiden’s head, taking in the smell of his shampoo. 

“Hmm, time to get up?” Aiden squeezed Lambert a little, 

“Yeah, Geralt and Jaskier said they were going to be here in an hour or so, so I thought I’d give you time to wake up.” Lambert kissed Aiden again, kind of wishing he could stay like this for the rest of the day. 

“Eskel is probably going to be late,” Aiden added, which he wasn’t wrong, Eskel hadn’t been on time for anything since he got out of college. 

“Yeah he already said he was going to be late, Coen too but still should be here for dinner” Lambert let out a breath wrapping his arms around Aiden’s frame. 

Aiden yawned, “Should have known.” 

* * *

Geralt was fighting with Klaudia’s car seat trying to get it to clip as she cried and wiggled since she hated being in this thing. Geralt hated it just as much as she did, the stupid thing barely clipped in half the time even though Jaskier bought the ‘top of the line.’

“Fuck sakes,” Geralt sighed, still unable to get it done since Klaudia was not helping. “Can you just…” Geralt placed his hand on her stomach trying to stop her from wiggling but it just made her cry louder. 

“Need some help?” Jaskier walked up behind him, holding presents in his hands that were going into the back of the SUV. 

“Yes, This fucking thing is annoying” Geralt backed up and grabbed the gifts after him so they could switch places. Jaskier was better with this kind of thing, he could calm her so easily and everything just bent to his will. 

“Hi, Jelly bean,” Jaskier poked his head in front of her, tickling her stomach and making her break into giggles already. “Was Daddy scaring you?” 

Geralt frowned, putting the gifts in the back of the car, sometimes he felt like Klaudia loved Jaskier more. Ciri came down the driveway holding more gifts in her arms. 

“Gave up?” She asked, placing them in the bed of the car. 

“Yup, Jaskier is better with that kind of stuff,” Geralt shrugged, 

Ciri smiled, “you’re just as good,” She stabbed him in her side with her elbow. Geralt liked that Ciri enjoyed living with them and the fact she saw him as a parent figure in her life. He had worked hard to get her to think that way. 

Geralt messed up Ciri’s hair which made Jaskier gasp as he looked up from the back seat. “You didn’t!” 

Geralt raised his eyebrow at him confused that it was a problem, Ciri was chuckling at the two of them. 

“I spent a lot of time on that hair, sometimes it’s like living with wolves” Jaskier shook his head, finally finishing getting Klaudia in the car seat, “Jeez.” 

Geralt wrapped his arm around Ciri kissing the top of her head, “So uptight huh?” 

“I heard that!” 

* * *

They managed to be over 30 minutes later than they wanted to since Jaskier took the time to fix Ciri’s hair to be perfect again. It was funny how every detail mattered to Jaskier so much, it was one of the things Geralt loved about him. 

“Listen, I needed to fix her hair” Jaskier mumbled, getting the car seat out of its holder with a click. 

“I think you don’t want to be here,” Geralt snorted, fixing his glasses as he got out of the car. Lambert’s home was nicer than theirs mostly because they made way more money than Geralt and Jaskier did. Jaskier’s parents had cut him off from the family money after He and Geralt got married 3 months after getting engaged. That was a rough time for him. 

“No,” Jaskier frowned, “I just want to show Lambert I’m better than him.” 

Ciri hopped out of the car, shaking her head at Geralt, they were both thinking that it didn’t matter because Lambert didn’t care what they looked like. 

“We will come back for the gifts when it’s time to open them,” Geralt grabbed the baby bag out of the back of the SUV and threw it over his shoulder. It looked like they were the only ones who showed up on time even though they were also late to the party. 

“Did you hear from the others?” Jaskier asked as he carried the car seat to the door, Klaudia passed out with her baby blanket held up into her face. 

“No, but I guess they're going to be late, looks like Renfri is here” Geralt pointed out the beaten up muscle car. Jaskier nodded in response letting Ciri go to the door first and knocking on it. She looked excited to be here even though a few months ago she was having a hard time seeing Aiden but Geralt guessed since he was doing better she was a little more comfortable. 

It didn’t take long before Aiden opened the door with a warming smile, he was all dressed up in a nice clean dress shirt and a pair of slacks. “Hey!” He cheered pulling Ciri into a tight hug and kissed her cheek, “You look beautiful!”

Jaskier gave Geralt a side-eye of pride being the reason why she was all dressed up. Geralt rolled his eyes at him, Jaskier worried so much about appearance it was kind of laughable. 

“Come in,” Aiden waved them in giving hugs to everyone as they got into the mudroom of the house. Aiden looked better, healthier, Geralt guessed that the treatments had done its job. Geralt gave Aiden a tight hug, “How are you doing?” 

“Eh, tired but I’ll live” Aiden smiled, probably trying to hide the pain he was feeling. 

“Jaskier!!” Priscilla ran into the room hugging her twin brother then nearly screaming when she saw Klaudia “Awwww, I’m stealing her” She took the car seat from Jaskier before he could say anything and ran into the living room.

“You’re probably not going to see her for the rest of the night,” Aiden laughed, Geralt hummed in agreement as he took off his jacket then aided Jaskier with his. The whole house smelled of freshly baked bread and roasted chicken. 

“Eskel and Coen will be here soon, they’re just running a bit late,” Aiden added moving into the living room, “Boys come say hi!” 

Geralt wrapped his arms around Jaskier’s waist giving him a light kiss on the lips before guiding him into the living room. Christmas had gone from being the loneliest time of the year to being so close-knit with his friends.

*** * ***

The dining room was filled with laughter and chatter, the food Lambert and Renfri had put together was amazing. Tasting better than anything Jaskier could ever make himself. Renfri had pulled him aside in the other room, away from the crowds of people in the other room. 

“...I have something to ask you” Renfri choked out, she looked nervous and uncomfortable with talking with Jaskier. The two of them never talked much or had ever really been in a room by themselves together. It’s not that he didn’t like her, he did, she helped his sister though her break up helping her build a kick-ass band.

“You like my sister?” Jaskier took a sip of wine in his hand, smiling widely at her shocked expression.

“How?” 

“I see the way you look at her,” Jaskier gently placed his hand on her shoulder, “What do you want to know?”  
“Do you think she will like me?” Renfri looked worried, he had never seen her look like that. 

“Honestly, my sister has never talked about her sexuality so I don’t know” Jaskier shrugged, hearing loud laughter in the other room. “Just talk to her, the worst thing that can happen is she says no.” 

“That’s my fear…” Renfri took a drink out of her water that seemed to disappoint her, “I don’t want to ruin things with us.” 

“You won’t she’s not like that,” Jaskier smiled, 

“We still sleep in the same bed, Jaskier, even though I have another room for her to move into” Renfri swallowed hard, “It could ruin a lot.” 

“Maybe..” 

* * *

“Fuck off Eskel, I haven’t been on meds in three years,” Geralt was fighting off Eskel’s hand as he tried to take his beer away from him, “You’re drunk get away from me!” 

Eskel was wasted even though he had only been here for less than two hours. He and Coen had let loose this time of year since it was the only time they let themselves do this. 

“Give it, your a baby” Eskel laughed trying to reach over the table to grab it

“Fuck off,” Geralt stood up, backing up away from the table so Eskel couldn’t grab it. 

“Guys come on!” Aiden groaned “There are kids you weirdos!” 

Jaskier had come back into the room at the wrong time and was used as a shield by Geralt. Which wasn’t very helpful since Geralt was way bigger than he was. 

“Whoa what is going on here?” Jaskier mumbled getting Eskel all up in his face, 

“Your husband is drinking,” Eskel was half being serious and half laughing his ass off, a weird combo of things. Geralt hated it when Eskel was drunk, he was just a giant child which to some people might be cute but it wasn’t to Geralt. 

“And?” Jaskier raised his eyebrow to him, “I think you need so water Darling.” Jaskier tapped Eskel's face, making a giant frown crawl across the man’s face before he went back to his seat. 

“Thank you,” Geralt kissed Jaskier, being careful not to spill his beer. “You're the best.” 

“Aw, dear, I’ll always be here to save you from your friends.” 

As soon as Jaskier finished that sentence a knock echoed off the walls of the house, sending a shocking look through everyone’s faces. Coen looked at Eskel with such wonder in his eyes but Eskel shook his head at him like he knew what he was asking. 

“I wonder who that is,” Lambert mumbled, standing up from his chair. Jaskier and Geralt went back to their seats hearing another knock echo through the rooms of the house as Lambert jogged down the hall into the entrance. There was silence among them all as they waited. Hearing shushed mumbled speech once the door was open. Geralt wondered who it would be, everyone that normally came to this type of thing was here and very drunk already. 

“Geralt!” Lambert’s voice carried into the dining room, confusing him even more. Who the fuck was it, it was the first time in a long time it felt his heart beating out of his chest like he was about to have a panic attack. He took a deep breath before walking to Lambert’s voice, seeing him standing in front of the door where someone else stood. 

“What’s up?” Geralt whispered scared to talk any louder than that in fear that the person would hear him. 

Lambert looked back, his face dumbfounded, “She says she's your mother?” 

Geralt felt his heart drop into his stomach, he hadn’t heard or seen her since she got hit by that car 10 years ago. He left her in that hospital room, never thinking about how she…

Geralt pushed past Lambert seeing her, aged, her red hair greying but was longer and healthier than he ever remembered. Her face looked like it had weight to it. Her clothes looked cleaned and in better shape than she had owned when she raised him. 

“Hi,” His mother looked nervous, scared, but happy all in one expression. Geralt didn’t know what to say until Lambert’s hand touched his shoulder as support, the two of them had long talks about their childhoods so he knew what this meant to Geralt. 

“How--How did you--” Geralt shuddered, confused and lost. 

His mother pulled out a piece of paper from her jacket, “You--told me to come back when I was 10 years sober, in less a month that will be true…” tears crawled down her face, she showed real emotion that wasn’t there to make him feel bad...it made Geralt uncomfortable. She held out the piece of paper to him, “Vesemir, he--sent me this”

Geralt grabbed the letter from her hand, his shaking as he opened it. Seeing her made him fall back to how he felt as a child, even though he fought so much to not feel like that anymore. 

Once he got the paper open, he read the sloppy writing of the letter, very clearly Vesemir.

_Dear Visenna,_

_Geralt has told me about you before, and I’m not fond of you but 10 years is coming up real fast. Every parent deserves a second chance to meet their kids and I think he’s turned out to be a fine young man._

_Don’t fuck it up._

_His adopted father_

_Vesemir._

Lambert’s address was at the bottom, telling her to try around Christmas time, Geralt started crying, feeling the pain of losing that man in his life hitting him all at once. Vesemir knew Geralt would feel safer with everyone here with him and that was so sweet.

His mother went to reach for him but stopped herself, wiping her tears off her face trying to be strong for her child just this once. 

Before Geralt realized it himself he hugged her, pulling her into his arms feeling that under her fancy jacket was a healthy full frame. He wondered if this had always been Vesemir’s plan, to bring his mother back to him. 

“Will you give me a second chance? So maybe I can meet my granddaughters?”

Geralt nodded trying to stop himself from crying.

“Yes.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And...That's all she wrote, I really hope the people who stayed for the ride enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed writing it. <3


	51. BONUS CHAPTER

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> bonus short stories of how Aiden and Lambert met!

The halls were full of people finding their dorms, meeting strangers or friends, chatting and laughing together. Lambert pushed passed the people annoyed with the crowds with his brother behind him. The two of them were big enough to just push people aside.

“Jeez busy,” Eskel groaned, looking at the numbers on the doors trying to figure out which one was his dorm. “What was your number again?” 

“234” Lambert looked up at the door in front of him, 233, he looked across the hall seeing his number there “Here I am.” 

“Well, Mine is down there somewhere then” Eskel sighed, “Don’t forget the Welcoming party tonight I’ll see you there.”

“Fuck, stop nagging me” Lambert groaned using his key he was given earlier to get into the door, The dorm was small but not the worst, a kitchenette was on the right side of the room with a small table with two chairs pressed up against the wall. It smelled freshly cleaned, one of the doors of the rooms was already open where a man was making the double bed in the centre. 

His build was muscular but slender with a swimmer or a runner, his hair was a curly deep brown with velvety mocha coloured skin. The man turned around showing these golden eyes like a cat, a smile came across his face and brightened his eyes even more. Pretty good looking guy.

“You must be Lambert,” His voice was softer than his brother or his foster dad, the guy stepped forward holding out his hand for a shake. “I’m Aiden,” 

Lambert honestly didn’t look at the email about his roommate so he honestly didn’t know who the guy was. He grabbed ahold of Aiden’s hand feeling the rough palms under his own. Different from what his skin looked like. 

“Fucking forgot they sent out those stupid emails” Lambert mumbled, “Were they expecting us to fucking stalk our roommates on Facebook?” 

Aiden snorted, looking nervous and uncomfortable “Yeah, they would just be weird.” He pulled his hand away “better let you get settled,” 

Lambert shrugged just before walking to his door to unlock it. The room looked pretty much the same as Aiden’s even the gross green carpets. He threw his bags on the bed, not really in the mood to unpack anything, he pulled his pack of cigarettes out of his pocket thinking about just going outside to have one. 

“Did you hear about the party?” Aiden’s voice carried from the other room, 

“Yeah, my fucking brother wants me to go” Lambert groaned, feeling just upset Eskel wanted to in the dorms for the first year of college to experience everything it had to offer. Lambert just wanted god damn peace, he wished his brother listened to him and got an apartment with him instead. 

“Oh, well we can go together then” Aiden showed up in Lambert’s doorway, leaning on the frame “I wasn’t going to go if I had no one to go with.”   
“Sure, whatever” Lambert shrugged, “You smoke?” 

“Rarely, mucks up my lungs” Aiden frowned, “Can’t lose my scholarship.”

“Scholarship? Aren’t you fucking fancy” Lambert chuckled, pushing by Aiden to get back to the common area. “What does smoking have to do with that?” 

“Football, I got a free ride” Aiden looked back at him, “It’s not really fancy just lucky.” 

Lambert looked at him, studying his form, wasn’t he a little small to be a football player? “Well la-di-da” Lambert looked in his pack of smokes seeing only a few left he should probably get some more, maybe he could bum some off Eskel later. 

“Wow, your rough around the edges” Aiden shook his head, 

“You mean a prick? Yeah, get used to it” Lambert gave him a cocky smile. Lambert was used to people not liking his attitude, so it wasn't a surprise that Aiden didn’t like him either. Such is the life of an angry teenager. “I’m going to have a puff, see you around?”  
“Yeah…” 

*** * ***

“So where are you from?” Aiden shouted over the booming music, leaning over the bar drink in hand. 

“Born and raised here,” Lambert shrugged, “You?” He was surprised Aiden was sticking around him. Most people avoid him after just hearing him talk one sentence yet this guy stayed.

“Deep River,” Aiden took a drink, keeping eye contact on Lambert at all time, He couldn’t figure out if Aiden was checking him out or if he was just weird. 

“That’s not that fucking far from here, right?” Lambert hadn’t travelled out of the city limits since his foster dad didn’t think he could  _ ‘handle the stress’ _ . Vesemir was always so worried Lambert was going to push the wrong person’s buttons and end up in hospital or prison.

“2 hours, small town, it’s rough” Aiden finally broke eye contact as someone bumped into him. Aiden managed to not spill his drink, pushing closer to Lambert causing their elbows to touch making him lock up.

“Why is it rough?” Lambert had never had a hard time with anyone probably because if they gave him a hard time he would fucking punch them out. 

“Hard being ga--” Aiden stopped himself, downing his drink in one go “I’m going to piss.” 

“Okay?” Lambert frowned, annoyed that he didn’t finish what he was going to say because his mind was just going crazy. Was he just about to say he was gay? Well, it would kind of make sense, Aiden not letting his eyes off Lambert, the way he laughed at every one of Lambert’s corny jokes, lightly touching him every chance he could. 

Lambert watched Aiden disappear into the crowd wondering if Aiden knew he wasn’t gay, honestly, he wasn’t even sure if he liked women but he was fucking sure men were not his type. He had been with only one girl before and it was after 2 years of her pawing at him in high school. 

He should ask to switch roommates, he didn’t want some guy trying to sleep with him but maybe he was just being friendly? Fuck this is why he wanted an apartment, he wouldn’t have to live with someone he didn’t know anything about. 

“Are you having fun?” Eskel popped up beside Lambert, smiling, a little red in the face from the booze he had been drinking. 

“No,” Lambert was just annoyed at being here, people knocking into him, having to talk to people. “I might go back to the fucking dorm, just waiting for my roommate to come back.” 

“Hmm, Making friends?” Eskel elbowed him 

“Well, I have to fucking live with him for 8 months” Lambert took a drink of his beer, it honestly wasn’t that great tasting. 

“This your brother?” Aiden walked beside the two of them, “You look nothing like him .” 

“That’s because were foster kids,” Eskel held out his hand to Aiden “Eskel” 

“Pleasure, I’m Aiden” Aiden smiled, his eyes sparkling like before, why did Lambert keep noticing that? 

“I hope Lambert’s been nice,” Eskel winked at Aiden, making Lambert roll his eyes. 

“He hasn’t, but I like to see the best in people” Aiden’s eyes looked over at Lambert as he smiled, making his angry roommate ever more uncomfortable. 

“You would be the first,” Eskel laughed, “Anyway Lambert said you two were leaving so I won’t keep you any longer.” 

“Did he?” Aiden kind of looked sad that they were leaving so soon

“You can stay if you fucking want to” Lambert stood up, “I’m not your keeper.”

Aiden nodded, “Nah, I’ll come back with you” 

“Be nice Lambert,” Eskel nudged him again, making him groan at his annoying brother 

“Do you have any fucking smokes? I ran out” 

“Nah, gave my whole pack to someone else in need” Eskel shrugged “You’ll have to pick some up on your way back.”

Lambert groaned, pushed through the crowds of people to get to the door. He felt a hand on his shoulder once he got outside, feeling the wet air of the summer heat on his face. Aiden’s hand squeezed his shoulder once he looked back to see who was grabbing him. What was wrong with this guy?

“Hey, there is a place down the road we can swi---” 

Lambert cut him off, “What is fucking wrong with you?” 

“What?” Aiden furrowed his brow at Lambert 

“If you’re thinking you’re going to get laid with this fucking nice guy act? think again” Lambert was shouting at this point, people were turning their heads and Aiden let go of him. 

“Jesus, you are a real prick,” Aiden's face was flushed, embarrassed by getting yelled at in public most likely “Not everyone who is nice to you wants to get into your pants, I don’t even swing that way.” 

Lambert fixed his jacket, heavy breathing, did he read this all wrong? Aiden shook his head and walked passed him “Fuck off.”

Lambert watched him leave, feeling stupid for misreading this whole situation. His last girlfriend acted like Aiden did their whole friendship and he never caught on to her being into him. Lambert was really bad at reading people when it came to all this shit. 

Fuck.

  
  


*** * ***

Lambert had been awake for hours, already skipping his first-morning class only because Aiden was still in the dorm. Sounded like he was making himself breakfast or something. Maybe Lambert should go apologize to him for being a prick but honestly when he was a dick someone he never saw them again. This was a weird situation.

Lambert pulled himself out of bed, sighing loudly, he should say he’s sorry that way at least if Vesemir asks how things are going he can say their fine without him pressing the matter. The old man could always tell if he was lying. Lambert got dressed, sliding the rings onto his fingers. Most of them were from his mom that he got resized as he grew older. He didn’t care that they were feminine, but that didn’t matter to him all that much. 

Lambert walked out, seeing Aiden still in his underwear eating cereal, they stared at each other for a moment, awkwardly. Aiden looked down at himself, handing Lambert the cereal bowl before running into his room and slamming the door. 

“I thought you left!” Aiden screamed from the other side the door, 

“Nah, skipped” Lambert looked down at the bowl, he was honestly hungry… He started eating the cereal that was given to him. Why was Aiden being a little bitch about being in his underwear? They were both guys. 

Aiden came out in gym shorts and a tight shirt that hugged his muscles nicely then looked defeated when he saw Lambert munching away at his cereal. 

“Fuck…” 

“You handed it to me, mine now” Lambert shrugged before taking a seat at the small dining table. 

“Prick,” Aiden sighed, grabbing another bowl and filling it with cereal 

“Speaking about that, fucking sorry about last night” Lambert took another bite out of the cereal, “I overreacted.” 

“Hmm, look who's the bigger man” Aiden turned around with the bowl in hand, his hair messy, curls in his face. 

“Fuck off,” Lambert frowns, looking down in the bowl trying not to stare at his roommate to long. He didn’t want to make things awkward.

Aiden laughed, “No hard feelings, we all have our baggage we carry around with us.” Aiden shrugged, taking a bite of cereal, “When is your next class?”

“At 3 pm” Lambert yawned, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. 

“Want to go for a jog with me?” Aiden asked, taking another big bite of cereal. Lambert stared at him confused why Aiden was so forgiving? What did he see in him?

“Sure.”

* * *

Lambert and Aiden had been spending nearly every day together for the first month of school. Aiden could take any shit storm Lambert threw at him with sarcasm and cracking jokes. The two of them got along well even though they were total opposites of each other. Even though Lambert thought his newfound friend was an idiot of seeing this ‘light’ inside of him, he enjoyed his company…

The two of them studied together in the evenings, went for a jog in the morning together, play fought any time Lambert pushed Aiden’s buttons too much. 

“So how do you and Coen know each other? He’s not from around here” Aiden was laying on Lambert's bed on his stomach, eating ice cream out of a bowl. The guy was always eating Lambert didn’t know where he put that shit away. 

“Coen lived in Ottawa for a year in the middle of high school” Lambert’s back was resting against the wall, his legs over Aiden’s back. Lambert had his laptop on his lap, tabs opened with research for one of his term papers. “His grandma got fucking sick or something so he lived here with his great aunt.” 

“Ah, makes sense” Aiden looked over at Lambert spoon still in his mouth as he smiled at him. Lambert felt that buzzing feeling in his chest, the one he had been ignoring for the last week. It was like butterflies were eating their way through him, last time he felt like this was with Keira…

Lambert looked back at his laptop, trying to just focus on his work, ignoring the hot feeling spreading up his neck, thinking about how Aiden’s hands felt on his back the other night rubbing in the heating gel for his muscles. 

“You have been working on that all night, why not take a break?” Aiden put another scoop of ice cream in his mouth. 

“I don’t have a fancy fucking scholarship so I kind of need to keep my grades up” Lambert sighed “Or I’ll never hear the fucking end of it.” Vesemir would lecture him day and night if he got lower than an 80.  _ There is no slacking in this family!  _ God, he could already hear him now. 

“10-minute break,” Aiden crawled out from Lambert’s legs, placing the bowl onto the end table. 

“Fuck off,” Lambert groaned just before Aiden closed his laptop, pulling it away from him “10 minutes, you’ll live” 

Lambert let out a sigh, the buzzing in his chest growing as he stared at Aiden’s well-shaped ass. Fuck what was he thinking? He wasn’t gay, he likes women, well-liked a women. 

“It’s nice isn’t it?” Aiden turned back to him after setting the laptop on the desk. Lambert’s face turned bright red as he looked away “What is?” 

“Not having your face buried in that screen,” Aiden snorted, sitting back on the bed beside him this time. Lambert was glad he wasn’t talking about him staring that was close, too close. They were quiet for a bit before Lambert looked over at Aiden who seemed to be staring at him this whole time. 

“What are you fucki--” Lambert lost his breath when Aiden leaned into him, getting so close to Lambert’s face he could feel his friends breath on his cheek. The butterflies were more than just fighting their way out now. 

“You okay if I kiss you?” Aiden breathed out a whisper, rocking a nerve in Lambert that made him move, closing the gap between them when their lips touched it was like fucking fireworks went up. Like Lambert had been living in the desert for years and finally found water. He remembered this feeling with Keira, he thought he would never feel it again because no matter how hard he tried he never felt that connection.

Lambert pulled Aiden in close wrapping his arms around him as their lips parted to taste each other, Aiden’s tongue was cold tasting of the wild cherry chocolate ice cream. It wasn’t long before Aiden was straddling Lambert’s thighs panting for air but not wanting to come up. Lambert slid his hands onto Aiden’s ass gripping it in his hands feeling the muscles he admired so much. Why was he liking this? Why did Lambert feel okay with this? Why did he feel like he was coming home?

Wasn’t Aiden straight? 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Making Lambert a Demisexual was an odd choice but very easy to write since I'm demi myself and this is how things are for me lol   
> Hope you enjoy it.


	52. Bonus Chapter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING: TALK ABOUT SU*CIDE!  
> Just a little bonus chapter on how Eskel and Yennefer got together,

Eskel ran down the halls of the hospital, his heart beating out of his chest, one of his patients was hospitalized, unfortunate suicide attempt. He was overwhelmingly happy. It failed, but she wasn’t out of the woods. She had many broken bones, internal bleeding, far from okay…

Eskel ran up to the room, bracing himself on the door to catch his breath as he looked up to see a room full of people standing the room, a doctor he was less to used to working with and two students one being Yennefer standing over the body of the women on the table.

“How is she!?” Eskel gasped out, seeing them in gowns, still working on her, blood nearly everywhere, he hated these trauma rooms. 

“You shouldn’t be here,” The doctor shouted, flagging one of the nurses with his head to remove Eskel. 

“She’s my patient!” Eskel backed up as the nurse walked up to him, he could have pushed her out of the way with ease but didn’t.

“Are you the one with your hand in her chest? No? She’s my patient right now get the hell out and come back after she awake” The doctor was continuing to aid her. Eskel hated most surgeons. They were puffed up ass holes with a god complex. 

Yennefer looked up, furrowing her brow at Eskel with confusion. This is one the first times they had crossed paths at the hospital, he wasn’t a fan of her, even though she made up with Geralt didn’t mean Eskel had to. 

“Fine,” Eskel backed off with a deep sigh, she better make it through the surgery. She had a family waiting for her to get better, who he will have to talk to later… She was fine the last time he had spoken to this patient. She must have decided to go off her meds again. 

Eskel ran his fingers through his hair, worried, angry, but exhausted. He strolled down the hall, staring back at the room as they rolled her out of the room after getting her stable enough to move. Yennefer’s violet eyes locked with his again. He wasn’t able to read her through the mask covering her mouth, but she looked worried or at least he thought. 

Eskel went back to his office, dropping into his chair with a groan, he still had a few hours of his night shift, but he was staying until his patient was out of the woods and awake. She only trusted him. He didn’t want one of his co-workers to take the case. 

It’s not like he had anyone waiting for him at home anymore...

  
  


* * *

“Hey…” Eskel groaned, feeling a hand on his shoulder, shaking him lightly. 

“Wake up,” the voice echoed in his head, shaking him from his dead sleep, he only slept an hour. He rolled over, opening his eyes to see a shadow standing over up, once his vision cleared from the blurred sleep he saw Yennefer. She looked like shit like she hadn’t slept in days. 

“What?” Eskel groans, “Is she okay?” 

“Well, she’s out of the woods for now,” Yennefer flopped down beside him on the bottom bunk, confusing the fuck out of Eskel. “That’s good…” Eskel stared at her, too exhausted to move.

“I went to your station they said you went home” Yennefer looked over at him, “Why are you still here?” 

“Wanted to be here when she woke up” Eskel rubbed his eyes, trying to wake up a little more because he totally must be dreaming, why was yennefer joining him on the bed?

“You care about your patients, don’t you?” Yennefer yawned, her blinks were getting slower. 

“Don’t you?”

“Yeah, but not like you,” Yennefer closed her eyes, “you’re different.” 

Eskel didn’t know what she meant by that what exactly did she mean by that? “You know you’re falling asleep, and there are other beds,” Eskel frowned, getting only a groan from her, which is understandable. Eskel’s phone rang in his pocket, shaking her awake as he pulled it out. 

Geralt. 

He answered it, getting side way’s look from Yennefer beside him, as she mouthed ‘really?’ at him. 

“Hey Geralt,” Eskel shifted in his spot, “What’s up?” 

“It worked,” Geralt sounded overly excited on the other end of the phone “Priscilla is pregnant.” 

Eskel heart sunk, not because he wasn’t happy for Geralt, it was because of hearing his exes name. They were on good terms, and it had been years since they broke up but didn’t mean it still didn’t hurt. 

“That’s awesome” Eskel smiled “I’m so happy for you.” 

“I can’t wait to tell Jaskier when he gets home. He’s going to lose it” Geralt laughed, 

“You know Jaskier is going to go all out on that kid is going to be so spoiled” Eskel could just imagine it already. 

“Yeah, they are,” Geralt let out a big sigh, “Just hoping it’s not twins don’t think we would handle two of them.” 

“You’ll be fine,” Eskel yawned, hearing another sigh from Yennefer beside him “Hey, Sorry I have to go, I’ll talk to you later.” 

“Okay, yeah, you sound tired,” Geralt mumbled, “Swing by when you can.” 

“Yeah, bye.” 

  
  


*** * ***

Eskel and Yennefer had spent weeks eating lunch together; at first, it was about the patient, then it was out of habit. Eskel enjoyed her company, and he was pretty sure that she enjoyed his. 

“If you’re not going to eat it, give it to me,” Yennefer reached over the table to try and grab the bag of chips off her tray. Eskel slapped her hand away without looking up from his phone. “Go get your own” 

“Why? You’re not eating yours,” Yennefer giggled; Eskel looked up from his phone, noticing that she had put makeup on today. Not much, but the touch of black eyeshadow made her eyes pop. 

“You look beautiful,” Eskel spat out, without even a second thought. “Uh...I mean you, know...as friends.” He felt like his word vomit was going to make her uncomfortable, and he didn’t want that. 

Yennefer smiled, “Thanks, does that mean I get your chips now?” 

“What no! Just leave them be, you chip monster!” Eskel grabbed the bag and ripped it open, getting a sad look from his friend across the table as he slides a potato chip into his mouth. 

“Not going to share?” She frowned, 

“Nope” 

* * *

Eskel was invited to a work dinner, with some other professionals in his field. He had brought it up to Yennefer a week before, and she just invited herself as his date. She had said something about how she enjoyed fancy dinners, and she wanted a night where she could finally be out of her scrubs. 

Eskel didn’t complain. He liked spending time with her even though she was what most people would call ‘bossy’ or ‘bitchy,’ but he didn’t see her like that. 

Eskel was standing outside her apartment, having a cigarette dressed up in a suit. He stopped smoking after college, but when he got nervous about something, he fell right back into the habit. You would think since he knows so many coping skills, he would just use them, but nothing helped like the taste of ash. 

“You clean up nice,” Yennefer’s voice overpowered his thoughts, and he locked eyes with her. Her hair was curled and was up out of her face. She was in a long black dress that shined with glitter when she moved. Fucking beautiful. 

“Wow...you too.” 

Yennefer smiled, “I know right; let’s start the night, shall we?” she started walking to the passager seat, but Eskel threw his cigarette away, running to the car door to open it for her before she got to it. “Don’t touch that door!” 

“Oh, a gentleman,” Yennefer laughed. She slid her hand onto Eskel’s shoulder and kissed his lip gently, and his heart sunk into his stomach because he enjoyed it.

Oh, shit, the fucking bro code. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you are enjoying them tell me what you guys would like me to do next <3

**Author's Note:**

> Been writing this on and off for a little bit!  
> I hope you enjoy it! Kudos and comments make my day.  
> Follow me on twitter @pale_goblin  
> 


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